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Friendships

There are all kinds of friendships acquaintances, causal friends, childhood friends, lifelong friends, good friends and best friends.  All in all, people who are friends.

What is a friend?  My words to describe a friend is one who is friendly, loyal, trustworthy, caring, kindhearted, dependable, forgiving and willing to tell you if their upset about something you said or did that upset them or hurt their feelings, because it’s usually not intentional.

The dictionary states, “friend is a person who one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affections, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.” Companions

A friend is a person who speaks truth to you.  The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron.”  A friend is someone that has some interests like you.  A friend cheers you on as you also cheer them on.  Basically, they are happy with and for you when you succeed.  You connect with them in some ways.  A friend sticks close by which means to me in life you can call your friend and know they’re there for you and you are there for them.

 They don’t punish you if they don’t like something you said or did.  They also don’t withhold their friendship either.  People are people we all make mistakes.  Friendships that are healthy are devoid of jealousy, hatred or revenge.

Yes, even in healthy friendships someone’s feelings can get hurt but you go to the person and you tell them and give them a chance to say their sorry.  Unhealthy friendships are jealous, envious or abusive. 

Here’s two quotes I found on goggle about friends author’s are unknown.  “A true friend is someone who has your back when things are going wrong in your life.  A true friend is someone who keeps their promises, and makes you want to keep yours…”  “A friend is a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person.  A person who is not an enemy friend or foe.”

Unhealthy friendships can have symptoms of jealous, envious or abusive.  Lying, untrustworthiness and unreliable.  Possessiveness, greed and selfishness.  These unhealthy traits cause relational problems.  When you can’t be happy for someone’s good fortune or success it is unhealthy.

So how do you deal with an unhealthy friendship?

First, you must recognize it is their issue.

Second, if its persistent and continuous you will need too “let go” or “walk away.”

Third, forgive them but forgiveness doesn’t mean you are too stay in a relationship with a person who habitually is jealous, angry or does revengeful ways toward you.

Even though as a Christian I know and love my friends I also know I can’t fix or heal anyone only God can.  When to end a friendship isn’t easy but if your going to do what God called you to do sometimes it requires hard decision making.

When a relationship continues after a hurt and its forgiven it stays forgiven but if its repetitive one must make a boundary.  A boundary is where you start and stop.

Sometimes walking away or letting go is necessary but isn’t always easy.  It’s most beneficial to your health to let go and continue in your life and walk with Jesus. 

Since Jesus is our example and he didn’t beg and pled with them then neither should we.  I am not talking about one instance of offence; I am talking about years of investment with no change. You’re only wasting your breath, time and emotions.

It’s time to let go and move on.

Sneaker Day!

Yay! I got to wear my sneaker at physical therapy today.  I have been waiting for this day!  I’m thankful this process is almost over but not yet.  So, I still wait.  I’m enjoying life in the wait.  Everyday something new to experience in ankle recovery.  My ankle is getting stronger and I no longer use the knee scooter, also I’m able to do more and more.

I was thinking about waiting, some have a harder time to wait than others.  I choose to focus on the goal in the end which in this situation is walking pain free.  I’m obeying the Doctor’s orders and the Therapists plan.  No getting ahead of these plans or going rogue.  When I was younger, I would push the pt. boundaries, but I learned the only one who suffered was me.

I put this surgery off for a long time.  Ankle replacements are becoming more common now.  Each one of us have different things we wait on.

Choose to learn while you wait.  Also choose to grow as you wait.  Waiting isn’t punishment it is a process in healing and growth.  Enjoy your wait.

House vs. Home

Our crawl space was started on November 5th and ended on the 8th.  I was thinking about our house while everything in the family room was covered in plastic.  What a blessing it is to have a place to live.  But is a house a home?

When you have a place to live is that what makes a home?  No, a home is a good relationship.  When you have good healthy relationship, your home is solid.

I once had to live in a church, and I was concerned because I didn’t have a home.  A good friend said to me, “Annette you have a home you and your daughter have a good relationship.  A house is just a building a home is a relationship.”  That statement helped me to put my situation into the right perspective.  A few months later when we returned from a mission trip an apartment became available and we moved.

Through the years I’ve lived in the projects, apartments, houses small and large.  I’ve learned through life a house doesn’t define who I am.

What defines me is my character.  As a child of God Jesus is my identity and how I treat people reflects who I am.

There will always be those who have more than you and those who have less.  But how we walk with people is our legacy not what we own or possess.

Relationships that work through issues are more valuable than gold and silver.  What we own won’t go with us when we die.  But how we treated people, who we were is what will be remembered. 

Work on your relationships because their more valuable than where you live.  What makes a home is a good relationship. 

Christmas decorations before or after?

Christmas 2018

As I’ve spent time this week sitting waiting for are crawl space work to be finished I’ve read the debate posts on before and after Thanksgiving Christmas decorating.

Some say it’s not right because Thanksgiving should have its own time. Others say it’s good for you to decorate early for Christmas.

I personally believe either way is ok. It’s your home, your decorations and your the one looking at it. Why do we post on social media do’s and don’ts on decorations? Because we believe our way is the right way. But is it, when it comes to decorating? There is no law on it nor is it a moral issue. It’s truly preference.

I have fond memories of my childhood going to my Aunts house for thanksgiving. The home was beautifully decorated and her presents were wrapped under the tree. My mom chose to wait till the day after Thanksgiving.

As I was pondering this I thought my mom probably waited till after because we would of been out of school and my sister and her always put it up and we helped decorate.

There truly isnt a specific day to decorate for a holiday. Its usually preference and traditions. I use to wait till the day after Thanksgiving but this year it’s going up when I’m physically able to enjoy it.

The most important part of decorating for Christmas to me is having people to enjoy it with.

So go head decorate or don’t it’s up to you. I recommend making a memory with family and friends this holiday season. Whether it’s decorating, baking or whatever your plans are enjoy your time together.

If your alone this season reach out to another person who’s alone or invite someone over make a new memory for yourself.

Would love to hear your holiday traditions.

Crawl space repair

Our crawl space mold removal and encapsulation started today. Furniture is covered in plastic and the floors from door to family room are covered with red paper. Our crawl space door is in the family room.

I’m thankful the job started. As soon as the insulation was removed the musty smell left immediately. Although, my husband and I are camped out in the office we are thankful to get this over.

I will be taking another blog break. Enjoy your week. Blessings

Thank God for plastic 😊

Journaling…

Is there a benefit to journaling?  And if there is what are the benefits of journaling.  I love to journal it gives me a sense of direction, a release of thoughts and emotions too.

Jeremiah 30:2 “Thus speaks the LORD God of Israel, saying; ‘Write in a book for yourself all the words that I have spoken to you.’”

Why would God tell Jeremiah to write in a book for himself everything God said?  I believe so that Jeremiah would have a book/journal to look at and remember all that God said and did.  Especially when it looked like nothing had changed or wasn’t getting better.

Psalm 103:1-5 “Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! 2) Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits; 3) Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all  your disease, 4) Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 5) Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

This Psalm describes what God does for his people.  I love the “forget not all His benefits” part because we forget so writing it down helps us to remember.  Another reason why I journal.

Journaling is healthy for all. Unless your environment is abusive then journaling could be dangerous.  If so, write it and throw it away it gets out the emotions and that are built up.

For those who don’t have to be concerned about someone using their journal against them I recommend keeping a journal because it has several benefits.

First benefit, you can write your feelings, prayers and praise reports.

Second benefit, it helps you to get your emotions and thoughts out and it helps to see what you’re thinking plus sometimes it brings you clarity.

Thirdly, it keeps you moving forward.  When I have a goal, I write it down and the steps I will use to accomplish it.  This helps me to stay focused and moving forward.

Builders use blueprints to see the plan and check their next step.  Journals can be same. I like to write all my thoughts the good and bad and then I can see where I’m at.

Our hearts can deceive us so when I write it down, I know if my heart is off track.  Then the Holy spirit directs me back.  (He’ll do this without writing too. God has a way of letting us know where we are at.)

Today take a moment and write out your thoughts and see your heart.  I tell people don’t be religious in your journals. God already knows what you’re really thinking so be real and allow yourself to be free in your journal.

As you express yourself freely you will begin to develop an awareness of your emotions and thoughts.  Then you’ll begin to recognize quicker the negative, anxious or fearful patterns that knock us out of peace.

Try journaling for a month and look back after the month is over to see your growth in recognizing your thoughts and emotions.

Thankful Days

‘Happy Thanksgiving’ what a fun day celebrating things we are thankful for.  The food we eat and the company we keep.

Wouldn’t it be fun to make everyday Happy Thanksgiving.  Where family and friends are thankful and appreciate the time together.

But we don’t have to wait for a certain day to be thankful.  Every day is a good day to be thankful.

What a great place it would be if all of us could be thankful for what we already have instead of always looking and thinking of what we can have, get or do.

Wouldn’t be a great day if we all could ‘count our blessings’ or count our thanksgivings each day for all the little things in our day.

The Bible says to “be thankful always.”  We don’t have to wait for a holiday to be thankful.  Sometimes just expressing ‘thanks’ gives a person a smile because it shows appreciation.

Today is a good day to start being thankful.  Try it and let me know how it made you feel to start thinking of all things your thankful for.

Then try every day picking one area of your life and being thankful for it.  Pretty soon you’ll be creating a thankful habit and it will become a way of life.

Those who are already thankful everyday add to it by appreciating and telling someone what you are thankful for in them.  I’ll start with you, thank you for reading this blog I appreciate each one of you.

Let’s spread a little thanksgiving.

Rainy vs Sunny Days

Is there really a difference in rainy vs sunny days?  I believe the answer is yes and no.  Yes, rainy days are wet, cloudy and darker in color.  My grandmother would say “it’s dark and dreary outside today.”  I would think to myself I don’t see the dreary I just see wet.

Sunny days are drier, warmer and less cloudy.  But to me their just sunny.  Although there are some people emotionally affected by weather and there are some who are not.

I can clean in the rain as easy as sunny.  I will sing in the rain or sun too.  It’s about our mindsets.

I think it’s more about your thoughts on those days.  I choose to be thankful in the rain and in the sun.  The weather doesn’t determine my day.  My plans may have to change due to the weather, but it doesn’t have to cause me to change.  My attitude, outlook and emotions can be controlled by me.

My point is weather is always changing but I do not have to let it change me and neither do you.

So how do you not let it affect you?

One, speak the truth to your mind.  I choose to be happy rain or shine.  The truth is weather doesn’t define me.

Two, I can change a plan and do something else it is ok.

Thirdly, be open to change.  Find something else to do.

Simplifying life

How do we simplify life?  What does a simplified life mean?

Having wisdom is essential to having a healthy simplified life.  To me a simplified life is straightforward, made easier in addressing life’s issues and simple in understanding what to do when you need to do it.  Wisdom is essential to a simplified life.   

In Proverbs 4:5-9 states, “Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.” 6) “Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you.  Love her, and she will keep you. 7) Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore, get wisdom.  And in all your getting, get understanding. 8) Exalt her, and she will promote you; She will bring you honor, when you embrace her. 9) She will place on your head an ornament of grace, A crown of glory she will deliver to you.”

Wisdom helps us to simply life because with wisdom is the knowledge to know the right plan of action.  Running from problems complicates situations and life. 

I saw this meme on Facebook not sure who designed it but it’s relevant for a simplified lifestyle.

  “Don’t Complicate Life”

Missing someone         Call

Wanna meet up?          Invite

Have questions          Ask

Don’t like something    Say it

Like something          State it

Want something          Ask

Love someone            Tell them

I think this meme is powerful because it makes it simple.  Wisdom is available to anyone who asks.  The bible says God gives wisdom generously to those who ask for it and believes he will give it. 

If you need help ask, if you miss someone call them, if you want to do something invite someone to do it with you, if you don’t like something say it tell the person.  How can someone change if they don’t know what they do bothers you. 

Obviously, this doesn’t mean blast someone in anger. Living the simplified life means you speak up so that you’re not blasting in anger.  Anger is a secondary emotion which means when we are angry there is something underneath the anger such as hurt, fear or frustrations.  Allow your self to let God show you what you’re really feeling instead of just anger.

You too can choose to live a simplified life.

Back to Church day

Brotherly love

Today was a great day I was able to go to church today. We sat in the back so I could elevate my leg with the knee scooter.

It felt good to be in the house of God with my church family. As I worshiped God, I sensed his presence all round me.

Our Pastor had a brief message today, but it was impactful. His scripture today was Hebrews 13:1-2 “Let brotherly love continue. 2) do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.”

Brotherly love? Does this just refer to family love? The answer is no. Brotherly love is something those that know each other continue in but it’s also love towards humanity. Words like hospitality, comraery, politeness, generosity, prayer, helpfulness and so much more describe brotherly love.

Showing love for one another Jesus said is how they will know we are his disciples. I personally have been shown love throughout this recovery by my husband, close friends, family, neighbors and my church and friends & family on social media. God has given me the grace to go through this recovery in peace and patience.

Although I’m not fully recovered I’m still looking at this surgery & recovery as a blessing. God has brought me through and continues to. The pain I had before surgery is gone and for that I am also thankful.

Let brotherly love continue.  That is a powerful sentence it means we have a choice to continue in brotherly love.  How important is walking in love to God?  I would say very important.  God is love.  When we walk in love, we touch the heart of people and that is Gods way to reach out to others through us.

Let brotherly love continue daily in your life whenever and wherever you go.