Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette
Relationships, life and love
Psalm 106:1 “Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For his mercy endures forever.”
This scripture has been on my heart this morning. Today is a great day to thank God for all his blessings.
Have a wonderful day enjoying family & friends with good food, laughter and love.
This is the time of year where our obligations grow, and our expectations are high. The Holidays official start is this week. With Thanksgiving Day on Thursday and of course the food preparations all week plus getting the house ready for guests.
Then shopping for gifts for those we love and care for. December brings Christmas and more family gatherings along with special events and decorations.
This all sounds lovely unless it’s stressful for you. Sometimes the stresses become overwhelming for some and instead of a fun season it becomes forced work.
This season is about being thankful and joyful for the Savior who was born for us. But in the hustle and bustle of the extra workload, stress can steal your joy in this season if you let it.
You have a choice you can let the stress beat you or fuel you the choice is yours. Here are a few helpful truths to think about that can relieve holiday stress.
*Your family loves you not for what you do for them or what you give them but because you are a part of them.
*Money doesn’t buy happiness. Happiness is a by product of what we do.
*Not overspending for Christmas will relieve stress. Stick with an amount (budget) and shop within your amount.
*People love the thought put into a gift. There’s lots of creative ideas that don’t cost a lot but lets someone know you are thinking of them.
*Do things you want to do, not what you feel pressured to do. The pressures and how you think about them are what cause the stress.
*Don’t compare yourself to others. God never compares you to another. Be you! Don’t be something you’re not.
The holidays are times to be thankful and spend time with family and friends. If you don’t have family, it can be painful. I understand this when my mom died it took me a few years to go to other people’s gatherings.
But think about allowing yourself to be a part of someone else’s gathering. Give yourself permission to engage in the holidays once again.
Human beings need fellowship, love and connection so go for it either go or ask someone to eat with you at your home.
Put a pin in the air of stress: lower expectations, take breaks, breathe and enjoy each day through this Holiday Season.
Enjoy the Season!
Peace makers vs peacekeepers? What is peace? How do we become peace makers and what is a peacekeeper?
The bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” What does that mean? It means pursers of peace are blessed with a calmness. It also means follow the peace of God. God willingly leads us, but we must know how to recognize it. Peace is one of the ways he leads us. A peace maker is one who is at peace within themselves only then can you negotiate others into peace. Being a peacemaker like Jesus means you also can confront issues and problems.
A peacekeeper won’t speak up. Peacekeepers try to keep peace at all cost. This steals their peace. Peace at all cost just puts you in a co-dependent mindset. We are not responsible to fix others. They are responsible for their choices and consequences.
God directs us through his Word and peace. The Bible says, “let peace be the umpire of your soul.” When the warning flags go off in your spirit(gut) or intuition/instinct it means something is wrong. When we go against those flags it robs our peace. Be a peace maker in your heart, allow God the Holy Spirit to led you by peace.
Peace is a calm on the inside, it’s also a state of rest even in turmoil.
Remember that we always have a choice. Choose to follow the leading of His Spirit. Trying to keep peace at any cost doesn’t give you true calm. That is just another form of rescuing or being responsible for another’s responsibility.
You are responsible for your own actions you’re not responsible for how someone interpreted it or fixing their wrong decisions, behaviors etc.
Through the years I’ve noticed the thread of co-dependency in a lot of us. We think we can solve or change another human being so they can love us like we need. But the truth is you cannot change anyone. The minute you start to help someone be or do you are entering the rescuer position. It only backfires it produces a temporary fix.
Rescuer’s don’t change the other person. They also do not have influence on them either. A rescuer only turns into an enabler and peace is then evading you.
This all steals your peace/quiet and rest. Be you and choose to let God take care of the problems in others. Follow peace by letting peace be the umpire of your soul.
Pursue peace within yourself and defend your peace from the peace robbers. Peace robbers are all kinds of things.
Start to notice what robs your calm. As you become aware of them, you will be able to guard your heart from them. Telling the truth to yourself you are not responsible for another adult. That one truth helps reduce peacekeeping missions and switches you to peace making.
Choose to be a peace maker and then follow the peace in your spirit.
This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice in it and be glad. I went to my follow up Dr. appointment today. It went well. Dr. is very happy with the implant being healed and settled in placement. My color is good, and the incision looks great.
He said I can wear my sneaker at home but in public wear the boot for three more weeks. Plus, no more crutches or walker. Now I can start learning to walk with my regular shoe and being more conscious of my walking, so I don’t limp so much.
This healing journey has taught me so much. We can’t compare ourselves to others. How one heals doesn’t mean it’s how I will heal. What one person faces isn’t what another faces. As individuals we can face similar situations, but each situation is unique to you.
Therefore, don’t judge someone’s healing process according to yours because each one of us have different situations.
I know acceptance comes from God not people. My doing doesn’t make me accepted. I used to volunteer for everything and wear myself out. I learned after my fourth hip replacement you can’t over do its not blessed because it’s of the flesh it’s works not faith.
It is well with my soul because God’s plan is best for me. I’m thankful that in this recovery time God opened the door for this blog and it’s reaching people. I’m thankful for the support I’ve received from family and friends. Good news is I’m healing and learning through this recovery season.
Have a good day.
People can say all kinds of nice things but their actions through time proves their real heart. Bad trees don’t produce good healthy fruit. Good trees also cannot produce bad fruit.
In Luke 6:43-45 Jesus said, “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44) For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, no do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
We live in a world where people are deceiving. But how do you recognize fruit in a person. By listening to their words are they consistent in producing good fruit such as peace and life in you? Or does it produce in you hurt and anxiety that means their fruit is bad.
Also look at their character. Are they responsible, faithful, hardworking, honest, trustworthy in their actions? Do their words match their actions? If not then their fruit is bad, toxic and harmful.
Jesus warned us about bad fruit. Stop for a moment and see what habitual fruit do they have?
A mistake is a sincere accident it doesn’t get justified and you purpose not to do it again. But habitual actions and words aren’t a mistake it’s bad character flaws. That is bad fruit.
People say we are not supposed to judge. But looking for true good fruit is essential to a healthy life. It’s not judging it’s inspecting for quality fruit.
Businesses have quality control inspectors. The control isn’t like a controlling person it is inspecting to make sure there is quality because bad quality causes the company failure.
Unfortunately, with people their bad, negative, and harmful character is what they really are. Inspect and look at it with eyes open to truth.
Truth can withstand inspection. Good fruit can be looked at without hesitation but bad fruit hates to be uncovered and that’s a red flag.
Red flags are warnings listen to those warnings.
Ask God for help to make a step-in wholeness. We believe in the best for people but being naive will only stop you from seeing truth when dealing with bad fruit people. Unhealthy people with bad fruit take advantage of naive people.
We need to be fruit inspectors so that we stay on the road of wholeness.
There are all kinds of friendships acquaintances, causal friends, childhood friends, lifelong friends, good friends and best friends. All in all, people who are friends.
What is a friend? My words to describe a friend is one who is friendly, loyal, trustworthy, caring, kindhearted, dependable, forgiving and willing to tell you if their upset about something you said or did that upset them or hurt their feelings, because it’s usually not intentional.
The dictionary states, “friend is a person who one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affections, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.” Companions
A friend is a person who speaks truth to you. The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron.” A friend is someone that has some interests like you. A friend cheers you on as you also cheer them on. Basically, they are happy with and for you when you succeed. You connect with them in some ways. A friend sticks close by which means to me in life you can call your friend and know they’re there for you and you are there for them.
They don’t punish you if they don’t like something you said or did. They also don’t withhold their friendship either. People are people we all make mistakes. Friendships that are healthy are devoid of jealousy, hatred or revenge.
Yes, even in healthy friendships someone’s feelings can get hurt but you go to the person and you tell them and give them a chance to say their sorry. Unhealthy friendships are jealous, envious or abusive.
Here’s two quotes I found on goggle about friends author’s are unknown. “A true friend is someone who has your back when things are going wrong in your life. A true friend is someone who keeps their promises, and makes you want to keep yours…” “A friend is a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person. A person who is not an enemy friend or foe.”
Unhealthy friendships can have symptoms of jealous, envious or abusive. Lying, untrustworthiness and unreliable. Possessiveness, greed and selfishness. These unhealthy traits cause relational problems. When you can’t be happy for someone’s good fortune or success it is unhealthy.
So how do you deal with an unhealthy friendship?
First, you must recognize it is their issue.
Second, if its persistent and continuous you will need too “let go” or “walk away.”
Third, forgive them but forgiveness doesn’t mean you are too stay in a relationship with a person who habitually is jealous, angry or does revengeful ways toward you.
Even though as a Christian I know and love my friends I also know I can’t fix or heal anyone only God can. When to end a friendship isn’t easy but if your going to do what God called you to do sometimes it requires hard decision making.
When a relationship continues after a hurt and its forgiven it stays forgiven but if its repetitive one must make a boundary. A boundary is where you start and stop.
Sometimes walking away or letting go is necessary but isn’t always easy. It’s most beneficial to your health to let go and continue in your life and walk with Jesus.
Since Jesus is our example and he didn’t beg and pled with them then neither should we. I am not talking about one instance of offence; I am talking about years of investment with no change. You’re only wasting your breath, time and emotions.
It’s time to let go and move on.
Yay! I got to wear my sneaker at physical therapy today. I have been waiting for this day! I’m thankful this process is almost over but not yet. So, I still wait. I’m enjoying life in the wait. Everyday something new to experience in ankle recovery. My ankle is getting stronger and I no longer use the knee scooter, also I’m able to do more and more.
I was thinking about waiting, some have a harder time to wait than others. I choose to focus on the goal in the end which in this situation is walking pain free. I’m obeying the Doctor’s orders and the Therapists plan. No getting ahead of these plans or going rogue. When I was younger, I would push the pt. boundaries, but I learned the only one who suffered was me.
I put this surgery off for a long time. Ankle replacements are becoming more common now. Each one of us have different things we wait on.
Choose to learn while you wait. Also choose to grow as you wait. Waiting isn’t punishment it is a process in healing and growth. Enjoy your wait.
Our crawl space was started on November 5th and ended on the 8th. I was thinking about our house while everything in the family room was covered in plastic. What a blessing it is to have a place to live. But is a house a home?
When you have a place to live is that what makes a home? No, a home is a good relationship. When you have good healthy relationship, your home is solid.
I once had to live in a church, and I was concerned because I didn’t have a home. A good friend said to me, “Annette you have a home you and your daughter have a good relationship. A house is just a building a home is a relationship.” That statement helped me to put my situation into the right perspective. A few months later when we returned from a mission trip an apartment became available and we moved.
Through the years I’ve lived in the projects, apartments, houses small and large. I’ve learned through life a house doesn’t define who I am.
What defines me is my character. As a child of God Jesus is my identity and how I treat people reflects who I am.
There will always be those who have more than you and those who have less. But how we walk with people is our legacy not what we own or possess.
Relationships that work through issues are more valuable than gold and silver. What we own won’t go with us when we die. But how we treated people, who we were is what will be remembered.
Work on your relationships because their more valuable than where you live. What makes a home is a good relationship.
As I’ve spent time this week sitting waiting for are crawl space work to be finished I’ve read the debate posts on before and after Thanksgiving Christmas decorating.
Some say it’s not right because Thanksgiving should have its own time. Others say it’s good for you to decorate early for Christmas.
I personally believe either way is ok. It’s your home, your decorations and your the one looking at it. Why do we post on social media do’s and don’ts on decorations? Because we believe our way is the right way. But is it, when it comes to decorating? There is no law on it nor is it a moral issue. It’s truly preference.
I have fond memories of my childhood going to my Aunts house for thanksgiving. The home was beautifully decorated and her presents were wrapped under the tree. My mom chose to wait till the day after Thanksgiving.
As I was pondering this I thought my mom probably waited till after because we would of been out of school and my sister and her always put it up and we helped decorate.
There truly isnt a specific day to decorate for a holiday. Its usually preference and traditions. I use to wait till the day after Thanksgiving but this year it’s going up when I’m physically able to enjoy it.
The most important part of decorating for Christmas to me is having people to enjoy it with.
So go head decorate or don’t it’s up to you. I recommend making a memory with family and friends this holiday season. Whether it’s decorating, baking or whatever your plans are enjoy your time together.
If your alone this season reach out to another person who’s alone or invite someone over make a new memory for yourself.
Would love to hear your holiday traditions.
Our crawl space mold removal and encapsulation started today. Furniture is covered in plastic and the floors from door to family room are covered with red paper. Our crawl space door is in the family room.
I’m thankful the job started. As soon as the insulation was removed the musty smell left immediately. Although, my husband and I are camped out in the office we are thankful to get this over.
I will be taking another blog break. Enjoy your week. Blessings
