I love to watch anything about treasure hunting. The mystery of where is it and how did it get lost fascinates me.
What do you treasure most? Have you ever thought about the treasures of your heart/soul? Maybe your wondering what are those treasures? Some are attitudes, desires, thoughts, values… this list comes from the book ‘Boundaries in Marriage’ by Dr. H. Cloud and Dr. J. Townsend. We are responsible for our own treasures.
What do you consider to be a treasure? We only have control over our selves such as our abilities to be happy, smile, think, investigate, choices, decisions etc. they are ours.
In the above-mentioned book, it discusses relationships and boundaries. Healthy relationships don’t complete each other they complement each other.
There is a chapter in the book called “It takes two to make One.” They state, “Complementing each other means bringing different perspectives, talents, abilities, experiences and other gifts to the relationship and forming a partnership.”
I love that statement because it forces couples to look beyond the statements of, they fulfill me and makes them think about what they bring to the relationship.
They also state in the book, “Completing each other means making up for one’s immaturity as a person.” Marriage is meant to be a 100-100% going into marriage based on the other person making up your immaturity doesn’t produce a healthy relationship. We each are responsible for our own character.
Here are just a few abilities we each must have that are basic human requirements. “They are the ability to: learn and grow, have initiative and drive, say no, be vulnerable and share feelings, grieve, be sexual, be spiritual, be free and not controlled by external or internal factors.” I recommend reading the book, ‘Boundaries in Marriage.’
If your completeness is dependent on another you will constantly be looking for something, they can’t give you. Only you can do the work needed to build your esteem and character.
Boundaries are where you start and stop. Knowing your own boundaries helps you to choose your responses. These areas of our life if we don’t evaluate and decide our responses then you’re going to feel overwhelmed.
Making a hard conversation that could back-fire isn’t easy but not addressing an issue is even harder to live with.
I like to have couples that I have worked with look at this list and write what it means to them. Because we are responsible for our own treasures. “Your feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, desires, thoughts, values, talents, and love are aspects of your soul.” Owning your own treasures brings value to your relationships.
The bible describes wisdom as a valuable treasure. Wisdom gives us the ability to process the knowledge we have with the right choice. God’s word also tells us that if we ask, God will give us wisdom generously. To me wisdom is a great and valuable treasure.
Proverbs 8:10 “For wisdom is better than rubies and all the things one may desire cannot be compared with her.”
Knowing what to do when you need to do it is wisdom. Start looking at the treasures of your soul and you will begin to understand about yourself and this helps us give from what we have.
I know my identity is in Christ. He has built me to be healthier and more confident in him and in my life. To me Jesus is the Wisdom of God. He will help you look at the treasures of your soul and help you grow in complementing your spouse.