Tag: toxic

Unhealthy, Toxic or Aggressive People or Healthy, Non-Toxic or Assertive People

It’s time to understand the difference of toxic vs. non-toxic, unhealthy vs. healthy or aggressive vs. assertive.  What do these phrases mean to you? Why do we have to understand these terms? 

First, toxic means poison but when you are dealing with people its reference is for people who are abusive, unhealthy emotionally, unsupportive, energy vampires. Whenever your around them you are feeling unappreciated, let down or exhausted.  It’s like walking on jagged rocks exceedingly difficult to be around.  Understanding the terms and conditions helps to identify if you’re walking in it or whether someone your dealing with is toxic, unhealthy or aggressive.

When a person is toxic it feels like they are constantly blaming you for their problems or they blame their past, people at work, family etc. it’s not ever their own fault. They tend to not recognize their unhealthful behaviors and if they do, they have reasons for them by blaming someone or anything else.

Non-toxic individuals own their errors, seek help when necessary and choose to modify whatever needs changing.  Individuals who are teachable are more likely to be emotionally healthy.

Any time we blame somebody else for our faults we will become unhealthy emotionally or toxic and it may result in becoming aggressive in communication.

Aggressive communications and/ or behaviors indicates a lot of undealt with issues within the individual.  Being assertive remains proactive but aggression tends to push others aside while at the same time it blocks interpersonal relationships. You may get your way being aggressive for a short time, but you’ll miss out on quality relationships.

When we are assertive, we speak up for ourselves with the whole truth without crushing the other person. This encourages relationships it doesn’t tear them down.

Today is the day to pick and choose to be free from toxicity, unhealthy mindsets and emotions or aggressive communication. Most times inner healing is needed to overcome these, but it begins with you letting yourself look at your own feelings, faults or behaviors as well as asking for help.

If we are teachable it’s fixable. The minute we choose to stop listening and learning we become stunted in personal development. Ask yourself how crucial to you it is to develop into a whole, healthy emotionally and assertive individual.

You have the choice today to be free or blocked.  To grow to be healthy emotionally or stay unhealthy emotionally. To communicate assertively or aggressively, toxic or not toxic the option is up to you.

It starts with you and you alone. I recommend that you look at your responses to situations and then select to forgive those who have harmed you or choose to forgive yourself for the hurts you’ve done to others. Where it could be possibly making it correct.

I also encourage you to choose to change each one of us has a will activate it and you will be able to change. Inviting God to change you is a good place to start.

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Fruit Inspectors

People can say all kinds of nice things but their actions through time proves their real heart.  Bad trees don’t produce good healthy fruit.  Good trees also cannot produce bad fruit.

In Luke 6:43-45 Jesus said, “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44) For every tree is known by its own fruit.  For men do not gather figs from thorns, no do they gather grapes from a bramble bush.  45) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.  For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” 

We live in a world where people are deceiving.  But how do you recognize fruit in a person.  By listening to their words are they consistent in producing good fruit such as peace and life in you?  Or does it produce in you hurt and anxiety that means their fruit is bad.

Also look at their character.  Are they responsible, faithful, hardworking, honest, trustworthy in their actions?  Do their words match their actions? If not then their fruit is bad, toxic and harmful.

Jesus warned us about bad fruit.  Stop for a moment and see what habitual fruit do they have?

A mistake is a sincere accident it doesn’t get justified and you purpose not to do it again.  But habitual actions and words aren’t a mistake it’s bad character flaws. That is bad fruit.

People say we are not supposed to judge.  But looking for true good fruit is essential to a healthy life.  It’s not judging it’s inspecting for quality fruit.

Businesses have quality control inspectors.  The control isn’t like a controlling person it is inspecting to make sure there is quality because bad quality causes the company failure.

Unfortunately, with people their bad, negative, and harmful character is what they really are.  Inspect and look at it with eyes open to truth.

Truth can withstand inspection.  Good fruit can be looked at without hesitation but bad fruit hates to be uncovered and that’s a red flag.

Red flags are warnings listen to those warnings. 

Ask God for help to make a step-in wholeness.  We believe in the best for people but being naive will only stop you from seeing truth when dealing with bad fruit people.  Unhealthy people with bad fruit take advantage of naive people. 

We need to be fruit inspectors so that we stay on the road of wholeness.