Tag: subconscious

Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…

The way out

As we have entered the New Year of 2022 it is time to release the pain of yesterday. Grief, shame, and pain can hold onto us if not processed, healed, and released. Today is the day to process shame. Understanding what shame is and how to heal from it is essential to walking free from it.

What is Shame? “Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The shame I am writing about is also an internal feeling of being flawed, not good enough or worthless. This doesn’t mean it’s true it is just a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, worthless.

As so many know the pain of shame replays in your mind and heart. It recalls every aspect of the hurt or trauma and it will cause the wound to stay because it is within you, hidden in memory and as events happen in our lives shame internalizes it through the original filter of pain. Which then we are triggered in pain and back to the original hurt without realizing why this current event hurts so much.

Things that cause shame is all forms of abuse verbal, emotional or physical etc. Statements made that are unloving or humiliating may cause shame. When an individual hears they are no good, rotten, or worthless that will cause shame. When a person is told regularly negative words against their personhood or their skills etc. it will affect the way they see themselves.

Three different ways to deal with shame that we all need to recognize:

First way to deal with the shame, for some people they feel the pain but they do not want to deal with it. So, they repress it and run internally from it. But it does not mean the pain has gone away. It is just hidden in the body and subconscious. Unfortunately, it will surface but not always at the proper times or ways. Unresolved shame turns into rage.

Second way to deal with the shame, is act like it does not hurt you, your over it and said, “I forgive.”  This is like the first, but this is a conscious choice to pretend you are ok. ‘I’m ok’ that did not hurt me. But reality is it did bother you and you are lying to yourself. This comes back because it causes you internally to become hard and calculated, to form bitter judgements and opens us up to sickness physically or mentally.

Third way to deal with the shame is to allow yourself to release the hurt in a safe environment by processing the pain to come out. This opens you up to forgiveness towards the offender. If this shame has held on for years one may need to get free of the attached demonic oppression. This will release as you process forgiveness and renounce any bitterness etc. We do this by speaking the name of Jesus to the oppression. If you’re not able to do this on your own reach out for help. In Christ Jesus there is liberty to live a victorious life.

I pray that as you walk through the shame and pain you will sense God releasing you and healing your heart and mind from the torment of shame.

Why Forgiveness is a key? The Root of Shame

What is the Maturity Factor?

How do we develop maturity in our lives? What does it look, sound and feel like? Sometimes we think we are mature and then life throws curve ball on us and we realize we lack patience in our situation. You can tell where you’re at by your responses, although sometimes we respond correctly, we may still carry it internally. God knows what is in our hearts. We do not always sense where we are at because our own hearts can deceive us.

In the bible James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trails, 3-knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4-But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

The NIV states, “4-let the perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

How important is maturity to you? It’s important to God or he wouldn’t be perfecting us through patience. Trials come and go it’s something we all face. How we develop through it all depends on us. Here are three ways people face trials, delays or setbacks:

One way is to get upset, complain and grumble. Obviously, this is not the best way to handle life’s situations. It only makes you anxious and grumpy towards others and life in general. Will it produce anything to happen quicker? The answer is no it will not. Truthfully the more aggravated you get it feels like the trial will never end. When we speak the complaint out loud, we are producing with our own word’s negativity over our situations and life. Complaining brings you down mentally and emotionally. Yes, we can talk about the bad and discuss it to deal with our problems but complaining is not just discussing a situation. It takes on a self-pity attitude that if done enough will cause your mind and emotions to lean towards the negative. When we complain too much, we can become self-righteous without realizing we are doing it. The bible tells us to think on good things, things that are pure, lovely, and of a good report. I speak the word of God over my situations it produces faith and reminds me who is in control. God is for us when we are His child lean on Him and trust Him through any delays.

Another way to face it is avoidance. Pretend nothing is wrong just pretend life is good and repress your emotions. This causes internal emotional side effects. When we repress our emotions and thoughts etc. it doesn’t go away it goes down deep into our subconscious. You may think it’s gone but no it’s not it’s just hiding out till the day it explodes. If your responses become sudden outbursts, it’s a sign you have repressed something such as hurts, unforgiveness, resentments, bitterness etc. Traumas and hurts that have not been dealt with through healing will result in us having inner emotional, mental and physical problems of some type. The good news is that Jesus died for our life spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. There is hope!

The third way to handle trials, situations or delays is to go to God with them. Prayerfully read the Word of God and mediate on it. Process the frustrations, pains, hurts or delays through the guidance of The Holy Spirit. God is always working to make us whole, healed and healthy. Yes, He uses the trials we face. All our trials are not wasted but when you’re leaning on the grace of God as you go through it you will end up better off than when it started. No matter what you are faced with God wants to get through it with you and then use it for the development of your maturity.  

The maturity factor is God working within you to develop into a mature and complete person.