Tag: Stress

How does fear affect you and how to overcome it?

Fear can be rational or irrational. It can debilitate when left unchecked. Fear that is irrational becomes phobias.  Some fear is normal and healthy. It is wisdom to recognize when a situation is compromised such as walking down an alley that is dark and unknown.

Fear as a noun means “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Similar words dread, panic, worry, angst, anxiety, unease…  Fear as a verb “be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.”

Fear is a heightened sense of danger.  How we respond to it and what we do with it can help us to overcome the emotion or give in to it.  Our emotions are connected to our thoughts and our hearts and mind are also connected. The emotion of fear causes a fight or flight response. “The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.”  Quote from Psychology Tools.com

Therefore, you think of something and instantly feel it. That is a powerful statement because when we can control our thoughts, we then can control our emotions.

Emotions can be triggered without a thought but then the thoughts come. For example, I’m looking at flowers as I’m typing, and it makes me smile with joy then I thought of the friend who gave them to me. It is a beautiful spring day, winter has left, and the joy of sunshine fills our house. For me that gives me thoughts of spring cleaning and making a list of chores that need to be done inside along with the outside work. If I was dreading the chores those thoughts would cause me stress and then those thoughts would lead to procrastinate the chores. How we think effects outcomes.

If how we think effects outcomes, then working on thinking healthy thoughts would help us. God’s word tells to think on good things. But we need to remember that to do this we must give the things that cause fear, stress and anxiety to the Lord through prayer.

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8) finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if the there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”  

Since we are looking at how fear affects us the answer is in the fight or flight response. When we take control of our thoughts with truths, we can make quality decisions on what is the best response for us to make. Learning to speak the truth to yourself is not just being positive because that can become toxic. Speaking the truth to yourself is speaking what is truth about the situation and according to God’s word.

How is your day going?

Have you ever had one of those days where it starts out great and mid-way it takes a turn towards stress Ville? Well truth be told I think we all can relate to those days.

Some days are sunlit others raining, cold, foggy. Every day is not easy and has challenges but when your life is not based on your day you come through the challenges with growth. If you base your day on certain outcomes, then you’re setting yourself up for hurt and failure.

We all need goals to set to get things done but giving ourselves grace to carry out what you want and need to get done and leaving what is not for another day without guilt is healthy living.

Guilt just weighs you down it adds stress that we just do not need to put on ourselves. There are enough things that can cause stress but adding it to yourself is counterproductive. There is a difference between guilt and conviction. Conviction leads us to repentance and change. But guilt causes internal feelings and thoughts of less, not good enough, feeling of condemnation thoughts of not measuring up. Knowing the difference helps one to be free to enjoy your day as you walk along the day.

When we do wrong, we need to recognize by admitting it repent and ask for forgiveness. And do not do it again. But guilt is different it is a pervasive feeling of not measuring up to a standard one has put on themselves or by others. It can manifest in standards of all kinds, time, behavior, feeling, opinions etc. It is a grueling task master. Usually, its root is in performance orientation or perfectionism.

So, if you’re feeling it’s a bad day ask yourself why? If your why is based in feelings, then ask yourself what is the feeling I’m having based in? That answer will help you to recognize if it is guilt, based in performance. Then give yourself permission to make mistakes, lower expectations etc. God gives us grace it is time to apply that to yourself.

How is your day I asked? To me everyday is a good in the Lord. Last night we had found a mouse in the house, he ate a hole in the dogs’ food. Then a little later I reached up to put the pepper grinder in the cabinet it fell, broke and shattered on the floor and lots of peppercorn was all over the kitchen. I was tired but it did not change my day or mood because accidents happen. We had company for dinner too.

Give yourself permission to enjoy each day no matter what goes on around you and you will feel less stressed.

How Can You Be Thankful In A Pandemic?

How can you be thankful in a pandemic? That is a good question. Why is it a good question? Because thankfulness is an essential quality that helps one to persevere in tough times.

Living life in everyday situations can be difficult on a normal basis but throw a pandemic with a virus of strange origin, unable to view and tell when and how it is transmitted caused incalculable anxiety, fear and uncertainty.

So then why should we be thankful. Thankfulness is an attitude of gratitude. No matter how bad life gets and for some it has been extremely bad but somehow and some way there is something to be grateful for. Gratitude lifts our spirit and brings emotional wellbeing.

Even if you are not a child of God being thankful is beneficial for your wellbeing and mental health. By now if you have been following or read a few of my blog posts you recognize I am a Christian and love God. His word tells us to be thankful for and to God. I practice thankfulness daily. I say please and thank you because I genuinely appreciate when someone does something for me. I choose to be thankful and so can you.

Perhaps your struggling with the many difficult restrictions since the pandemic started as is everyone. Pick one thing to be thankful for and express it. You can write it out, express it to God and others not just on Thanksgiving but every day. I am thankful for a lot of different things. My husband came through a difficult surgery it had complications and he was in ICU for many days, but God provided throughout that time and I am so thankful for the prayers and encouragement we received.

I am thankful for the grace to do everything I need to do as my husband recuperates and for the time we get to spend together. I am also thankful for my family and friends I have great friends and family that I so appreciate their love and kindness. My church family is also something I am thankful for. I could go on and on, but you get the picture by now.

I could list all our troubles and setbacks but that only produces more stress and anxiety and truthfully every day holds a new day of challenges, but God also supplies daily mercy and grace. So why focus on the challenges or troubles. I am sensible I know and express my emotions and process hurts but I choose to let go of what I cannot solve or fix. How do I do it through processing and surrendering to God. I trust God to work out my problems and supply solutions when and where I need them.

Choosing to be thankful for the little and important things will help you through this pandemic and throughout life.

Chronic Pain…

What is Chronic pain and how do you live with it?  In my own phrase chronic discomfort is pain and distress in a constant state.  As stated by google chronic pain is, “persistent pain that lasts weeks to years.”  The reality is that whenever you are suffering in chronic pain or a disease it remains stressful.

How can somebody with chronic pain handle it?  The response is not considered to be a single-step fix.  What does work for one individual’s pain might not work for others as well.  I am under no circumstances a medical doctor therefore I do not have all the answers, and neither can I diagnosis someone, but I may share from my own personal experience with chronic pain whatever is working for me.

I make it first by faith and God’s strength.  February turned out to be a month packed with extreme pain.  My left-ankle that was replaced Aug 20th, 2019 developed tendonitis and my right- ankle the one that the bone is now deteriorated has currently become deteriorated into the soft tissue in the foot as well, therefore the cortisone injections will no longer be an alternative for pain management.  Being born with several congenital abnormalities has been a challenge along with pain throughout my life.

But I place my trust in God I know he never leaves me nor forsakes me and somehow, he has provided me with the ability to thrive mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Trusting God gives me strength and grace to face each day knowing I’m not alone.  He also gives me wisdom to know when to rest, use ice or take medicine.  Pain can affect your thoughts, emotions and outlook on life if you let it.

I choose to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain.  I refuse to feel sorry for myself.  Self-pity only makes it hurt worse because you become focused on the negative and the pain increases it seems.  And sometimes tears do help to relive the stress so long as we don’t remain in it.  Chronic pain may vary in degrees of pain one-day hurts you realize that it’s there, however you shelve this ache to force through. Other days its incapacitating pain and cannot be pressed through to accomplish, so you get some rest.

Some of the different ways to deal with pain are prayer, mediation, rest, relying on the grace of God, support systems of family, friends and support groups, medication, exercise, physical therapy, massages, electrical stimulation, chiropractic care, stress management, counseling, acupuncture, surgery, dietary changes etc.  This is just a small list of ways to help deal with chronic pain they don’t elevate all the pain, but they help to cope with it. 

I prefer to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain, I also select the option to activate my will to focus on reaching out to others through phone calls and text and now blogging.  I’m not able to move around like I’m use to for now, but I do know God’s with me and can give me opportunities to show His love right where I’m at.  If your feeling that you no longer have a chance to do something because of your chronic pain I can assure you when you trust God, he’ll provide you with opportunities no matter where you are too.

Holiday Stress Relievers…

This is the time of year where our obligations grow, and our expectations are high.  The Holidays official start is this week.  With Thanksgiving Day on Thursday and of course the food preparations all week plus getting the house ready for guests.

Then shopping for gifts for those we love and care for.  December brings Christmas and more family gatherings along with special events and decorations. 

This all sounds lovely unless it’s stressful for you.  Sometimes the stresses become overwhelming for some and instead of a fun season it becomes forced work.

This season is about being thankful and joyful for the Savior who was born for us.  But in the hustle and bustle of the extra workload, stress can steal your joy in this season if you let it. 

You have a choice you can let the stress beat you or fuel you the choice is yours.  Here are a few helpful truths to think about that can relieve holiday stress.

*Your family loves you not for what you do for them or what you give them but because you are a part of them.

*Money doesn’t buy happiness.  Happiness is a by product of what we do.

*Not overspending for Christmas will relieve stress.  Stick with an amount (budget) and shop within your amount.

*People love the thought put into a gift.  There’s lots of creative ideas that don’t cost a lot but lets someone know you are thinking of them.

*Do things you want to do, not what you feel pressured to do.  The pressures and how you think about them are what cause the stress.

*Don’t compare yourself to others.  God never compares you to another.  Be you! Don’t be something you’re not. 

The holidays are times to be thankful and spend time with family and friends.  If you don’t have family, it can be painful.  I understand this when my mom died it took me a few years to go to other people’s gatherings.

But think about allowing yourself to be a part of someone else’s gathering.  Give yourself permission to engage in the holidays once again.

Human beings need fellowship, love and connection so go for it either go or ask someone to eat with you at your home.

Put a pin in the air of stress: lower expectations, take breaks, breathe and enjoy each day through this Holiday Season.

Enjoy the Season!