What is The Shame-Train?

black train on rail and showing smoke

Shame has a way of following you like a continuous train. With repetitious thoughts that haunt you wherever you go. Shame is like a train in that it continuous with many different cars (thoughts) moving along the tracks of life. Wherever the locomotive goes the cars follow.

The cars of the shame train are called I should have, I can’t, not good enough, not pretty enough, not popular enough, not loved, no one cares about me, I’m to old, to skinny, to fat, not smart enough… Then there is a rejection car, fear car, anxiety car, unforgiveness, I will always be this way car…

Shame is a pervasive feeling and thoughts of I am bad, flawed, or damaged. It goes with you; it’s deep within your heart and mind. A few causes of shame are abuse in all forms, neglect, or conditional love. In each one of those there is a myriad of other issues.

How do we break free and jump off the shame-train? Through the power of God, His Word and by Christ love we are healed, set free and can jump off that train.

Isaiah 53:3 MSG “He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away, We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried-our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.”  Jesus took our shame to the cross so that He could stand in our place, and we could be healed and set free.

As we are healed by God in the name of Jesus all sorrow of the shame is replaced with His acceptance and love. As a child of God, you don’t have to carry the pain of the past of what someone did or said to you, what you did or said either when we surrender to God the hurts, pain and sorrows He fills it with his healing.  To be free of shame and jump off the shame-train name the car and surrender the pain to God. Process shame with releasing it and surrendering it over to God.

Forgiveness flows as you give it to God, sometimes we hold onto it through unforgiveness because we want retribution for what was done to us but God says vengeance is his so we trust he will deal with it we can let go.

Forgiveness frees you to heal and grow.

In the book “The Father’s Daughters” I talk about shame, rejection, and forgiveness. If you have never read it, I do recommend getting it on Amazon it has powerful prayers to pray for your healing and deliverance. It truly is time to jump off the shame-train, you can’t wait till it stops, because it never stops it just keeps adding more cars (thoughts). In Christ love there is peace, His peace. There is joy too.

Amazon.com: The Father’s Daughters: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection (9798705629275): Melton, Dr. Annette: Books

Grief and Sorrows…

What is grief and sorrows? How long does it last and how do you walk through grief and sorrow?  These are a few of the questions we will look at.

Grief is “a deep sorrow especially that was caused by someone’s death” but not limited to death it’s a loss of someone or something. Grief will come from loss of job, relationship, health decline etc.… I think it’s important to understand that grief comes from many different types of loss.  In Psychology Today “Grief is the acute pain that accompanies loss.”

Sorrow as a noun “A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Sorrow as a verb “feel or display deep distress.”

I know they say grief has stages and each stage can be non-systematic the stages can flip back and forth one day denial next anger then back to denial to bargaining etc. But what is important to know is deep sorrow/grief for more than two years means you’re stuck in grief. I have read grief can last up to five years but that isn’t the deep sorrow aspect.

When I lost my mom in Oct 1999, I was having such a hard time. My mom was like a best friend to me. Not only was she my mom but we could talk about anything. She validated my life with positive affirmations, acceptance and affection.  We hugged coming and going. I loved her dearly.

So, having to say goodbye felt like I had to let her go.  I couldn’t let her go the thought of letting go was stuck in my mind I couldn’t. I wrote about this in my article “Grief Work.” But what I didn’t realize is my heart and mind said if I let her go, I will lose my mom, but reality was my mom with always be my mother.

I was trapped in grief. I had to learn I wasn’t letting her go I was rearranging my life. I have no regrets my mom knew I loved her and was available for her. She knew all of us loved her.

Sometimes though once we are stuck in grief the deep grief can take over.  If there was some unfinished business as to hurts, offenses, pain or unforgiveness we tend to believe we can’t have closure. The truth is you can have closure by going through inner healing. You can process by your words and give your grief a voice and forgive whatever needs to be forgiven.

Unforgiveness will leave you stuck in grief and stunt your life. That’s the same thing as a prison wall around your heart and mind. The forgiveness is for you not the offender. They must deal with what they did with God. But holding onto the unforgiveness in the direction of a person or loss just keeps past present and past hurts does not belong in your present life. It’s time for you to release the past and move forward beyond grief and sorrow and into hope for the future and love.

Isaiah 53: 3-4 states, “He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 4) Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.”

Jesus bore our sorrows and grief. It’s time to let go of the pain of loss and let Jesus heal your hurts, pains and sorrows. It’s time for the internal healing to take place so that you can walk free from grief and sorrow.

My prayer is that today is your day to be set free of the hurt and pain as you surrender the sadness and sorrow of loss, hurt, pain, and offenses to God the Father and through Jesus sacrifice you receive healing today.

https://insightsbydrannette.com/grief-work/

https://insightsbydrannette.com/should-i-forgive/

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