Tag: Roots of Shame

Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…

The way out

As we have entered the New Year of 2022 it is time to release the pain of yesterday. Grief, shame, and pain can hold onto us if not processed, healed, and released. Today is the day to process shame. Understanding what shame is and how to heal from it is essential to walking free from it.

What is Shame? “Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The shame I am writing about is also an internal feeling of being flawed, not good enough or worthless. This doesn’t mean it’s true it is just a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, worthless.

As so many know the pain of shame replays in your mind and heart. It recalls every aspect of the hurt or trauma and it will cause the wound to stay because it is within you, hidden in memory and as events happen in our lives shame internalizes it through the original filter of pain. Which then we are triggered in pain and back to the original hurt without realizing why this current event hurts so much.

Things that cause shame is all forms of abuse verbal, emotional or physical etc. Statements made that are unloving or humiliating may cause shame. When an individual hears they are no good, rotten, or worthless that will cause shame. When a person is told regularly negative words against their personhood or their skills etc. it will affect the way they see themselves.

Three different ways to deal with shame that we all need to recognize:

First way to deal with the shame, for some people they feel the pain but they do not want to deal with it. So, they repress it and run internally from it. But it does not mean the pain has gone away. It is just hidden in the body and subconscious. Unfortunately, it will surface but not always at the proper times or ways. Unresolved shame turns into rage.

Second way to deal with the shame, is act like it does not hurt you, your over it and said, “I forgive.”  This is like the first, but this is a conscious choice to pretend you are ok. ‘I’m ok’ that did not hurt me. But reality is it did bother you and you are lying to yourself. This comes back because it causes you internally to become hard and calculated, to form bitter judgements and opens us up to sickness physically or mentally.

Third way to deal with the shame is to allow yourself to release the hurt in a safe environment by processing the pain to come out. This opens you up to forgiveness towards the offender. If this shame has held on for years one may need to get free of the attached demonic oppression. This will release as you process forgiveness and renounce any bitterness etc. We do this by speaking the name of Jesus to the oppression. If you’re not able to do this on your own reach out for help. In Christ Jesus there is liberty to live a victorious life.

I pray that as you walk through the shame and pain you will sense God releasing you and healing your heart and mind from the torment of shame.

Why Forgiveness is a key? The Root of Shame

The Root of Shame

Sometimes when we can’t say good things about our self is due to the different unhealthy origins one being a root of shame. Roots become the same way as a stronghold it keeps you locked in.

Today we are breaking strongholds of shame. Shame of how you think that the negative of yourself it true and shame of the abuses done to you are your fault. Shame says in your thoughts “I’m bad.” It is a root formed in your thinking by initial experiences that are making you feel bad about yourself. The word shame in the dictionary as a noun means “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. As a verb it means “(of a person, action or situation) make (someone) feel ashamed.” ‘To humiliate, mortify, embarrass.’

When we internalize a shame of something being told or done to us it turns into a shame-based mindset (root/stronghold) of thinking I’m bad, I’m flawed or I’m damaged goods. This one goes deep into the psyche as well as the mind will think I’m flawed and feel ashamed.

Shame-based system in the dysfunctional families usually establish a secrecy about the family dynamics. Family are told what happens here remains here. Abusers will pose a threat to the victim to not talk about the abuse or else… this all leads to silencing a victim and internalizing them in the shame. This secrecy is the way in which abuse is held in internally. So that not only are they abused, either (physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally) they are hostage through shame to keep it in and not talk about it.  

This all is leading to a life of shame internalized which means that it makes you think and feel ashamed of yourself. The reality is what was done to you was not your fault no matter what you have been told, a child/teen does not deserve abuse ever. it in and not talk about it.

This root goes deep-rooted and through the power of God you can be healed and set free.  You can be free of the pain of an abuse.

Adults too can be abused this is also destructive to the individual physically, emotionally and psychology creating shame usually done in secrecy as well. I’m not a specialist in domestic violence even though I did go through Life Skills International educational program twice and learned enough to say, ‘God hates violence.’

In Isaiah 54:4 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame. For you will forget the shame of your youth…”

Through the Beauty for Ashes page we are going to look at things that are hard, but God will go through it with you.

God loves you unconditionally.  His love will bring us through as we look back at the past pain, it’s the doorway to freedom. We don’t remain in the doorway we walk through it.

But God wants us to know His love is tangible, powerful and unfailing. He will go through the pain with you and fill the space of pain with His healing love. So that you remain then rooted and become grounded in His love for you!

 My prayer for you today is, that Our Heavenly Father wrap you in His loving arms and you begin to sense His unconditional love for you through Christ Jesus.  May He by His Holy Spirit quicken you to know He’s bringing you through whatever caused shame in your life and the shame is broken off of you now by the power of God in Jesus name. I pray you begin to sense freedom to love yourself and others.

For more information or to follow along with the teachings of the Beauty for Ashes support group lessons click on this link.

https://insightsbydrannette.com/beauty-for-ashes/

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