Tag: personality

Three Key Questions to Ask in Making Decisions?

black handled key on key hole

Do you wrestle with making decisions? What is a decision? A decision is a choice between options. Why do we battle in making a choice? The answer lies in each one of us, but several reasons are fear of rejection, fear of being wrong, unwise counsel, lack of prayer, instability, or a divided heart. These are just some reasons but before this article is over, I am believing you will have the tools needed to look at quality decision making as a blessing and not a chore.

In the beginning of October, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “when we run from making decisions, we prolong our problems, open the doors of confusion, distractions, and false hope.”  We make good decisions when we know the facts involved and we investigate the options. Decisions can stir up strong emotions but basing your decisions on emotions only will cause problems.

I personally pray over my decisions. Both my husband and I pray together over our decisions God is first in our life and marriage, we want Him in all our decision making.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” God gives us wisdom when we ask so therefore if you are wondering what to do ask God what you should do with the choice you need to make. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Trusting God and His word is one of the key elements in good decision making.

Oh, I have made bad decisions in my life like most of us, we don’t always realize it’s a bad decision until the outcome. Most importantly when we have made unwise decisions if we learn from them and apply it to our lives we become healthier in our decision making.

Secondly depending on our personality decision making may be easier. But no matter what type of personality you have, you can make a decision. I say that because we all were created with a will and using your choice which is your will for good decisions is best. Tell yourself you can make a good decision.

Thirdly, ask yourself these three questions. Is this decision God’s will and if the answer is yes, ask the question is it God’s timing. The timing is also an essential element in decision making. Sometimes the things we want are delayed for a season. That doesn’t mean it’s a punishment or something is wrong it’s just not the right time. Then ask yourself what is the way you need to go about it. When I process something, I’m reminded of these three things. An example is when we are planning a large purchase we save for it. Then it doesn’t become a hinderance to our budget.

Blessings on your decision making!

What Are The Three ABCs of Marriage?

The ABCs of marriage suggests to me what is 123 of sequence. What makes a marriage work well? How does love really work in marriage? What constitutes a good marriage to you? Sometimes people enter marriage through preconceived ideas and then when their idea of love will not go the way they think or feel it should they get disillusioned. We can set ourselves up for success or failure in relationships through presuppositions. Learning basic relational tools is so important for marriage. I think couples need premarital or post marital counsel. This is important because communication is essential to a healthy relationship.  

The A of ABCs in marriage is for Attraction. When people fall in love it first starts with attraction, but attraction alone will not carry a marriage. Attraction is something you do not choose but you sense, but you do not have to act on it. If the character of the individual is not pure walk away. I think when we sense attraction it is because we like the look, style or personality of the person etc. but that is not love it is just attraction.

When people put too much emphasis on attraction as if it is love and then when they no longer feel attracted, they think ‘they fell out of love.’ Real love is not a feeling it is a choice with a commitment. There is no such thing as falling out of love. The truth is we choose to not continue. When trust is broken, and meaningful communication is absent then intimacy is neglected, the individual no longer wants to continue.

Please do not miss understand there are reasons for divorce such as adultery or abuses of all forms and these are not what I am writing about today. Unfortunately, domestic violence is a reality and should not be, but it is. I always add this because if you are reading this blog and being abused reach out to a shelter in your area. My heart goes out to anyone who has been or is being abused in any form. The mental, emotional, and physical aspects of abuse are very real and painful.

The B of ABCs stands for ‘becoming best friends.’ I personally think a couple can withstand the ups and downs of life when God is first in their life, and they have developed a strong friendship. Think of what a good friend is to you and become a good friend to your spouse. A good friend wants what’s best for you and looks to support in your talents. Gets excited with you in new challenges. Spends time with you but not exclusively. A good friend does not try to keep you away from others. A good friend does not get jealous of you having friends. Anytime we get controlled over our relationships we tend to push the other person away. Healthy relationships give the other person freedom to have friends and family time without negative feelings. Couples can be great friends to each other. Marriage isn’t a competition it is a journey together.

The C in the ABCs of marriage is a Covenant relationship. A covenant relationship is a physical, spiritual commitment to each other in the presence of God and witnesses. In a marriage the covenant relationship is between a man, woman and God as seen in the scripture. When Christ is first in the couple’s life, they understand they are not alone in life or within their marriage. The Bible tells us that marriage is a covenant relationship. In Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, “it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:21-24 “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”

In this passage of scripture, a man and women are joined together as one flesh. The marriage covenant is blessed and special. It is so important for the couple to protect their marriage. A few ways in protecting your marriage are to be aware of the time stealers or other people’s assumptions of your time. While raising your children remember to give your relationship time to be alone. Learn to work for the good of the marriage not self-gratification.

In the ABCs of marriage is a progression of the relationship. The couple starts their journey with attraction but moves forward in becoming best friends and then committing to one another in marriage. Enjoy your journey together!

 I saw this picture on Facebook, it reminds us of the little things in marriage do matter.