What is love supposed to look like?

Well, I think it depends on the type of love as I wrote in my last blog post ‘What is love?’ I’ve been pondering on 1 Corinthians description of love. Most of us can quote it we have heard it spoken in marriage services and in sermons. But quoting it is easy, living it is where the rubber meets the road.

First let me say, this passage was written to the Corinthian church not about marriage but about the gifts of the spirit and unity of the body. So therefore, it is an essential element for all of us to consider in how we deal with others. You see if you can speak in tongues but can’t walk in love then you’re like a sounding cymbal just a loud noise the bible says. Or if you prophesy but have not love then it’s worth nothing. ‘Love one another’ is a key to walking in Christ. So, what does love look like?

1 Corinthian 13:4-8 states, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-love never fails.”

We are one body Jesus is the head of the body, so it is important to understand that we need to walk like he did in love. Love is not weak or enabling love is the character of God.

God is not an enabler he won’t excuse your unruly behavior because he loves us enough to give us consequences, so we repent and learn his way. His love is longsuffering but don’t ever take it for granted that just because you got away with it for now doesn’t mean you will get away with it forever. Real love gives consequences for wrong behavior. As parents we instruct our children through their choices and consequences. That is called discipline. Discipline is training it’s not punishment. Love trains a child.

As I’m reading through the bible, I see just how Holy and precise God is in His details. The bible says God is love, He doesn’t just love He is love, it’s his being.

So, as we are thinking on how love looks, acts or thinks lets look at different aspects of 1 Corinthians 13 love. First it suffers long and is kind, what does that mean? I think it means patience and kindness while you wait. Sometimes we can be impatient and unkind while we wait for change, answers etc. Most of us want it now not later. But waiting is good for us sometimes because it develops character and maturity.

Love does not envy. Envy is wanting what another has with discontent with what you have. Envy becomes a grueling task master because it is never satisfied. But love appreciates when someone else has or is getting and is happy for them.

Love does not parade itself. Parade puts on a show, be genuine in your actions with others it’s not about how great we are it’s about compassion and kindness. Parade to me means we don’t have to tell everyone what we’ve done for someone it’s their testimony let them tell it. Don’t self-promote let someone else tell your good qualities. Unless you’re applying for a job then it’s the right time to tell your qualities.

Love is not puffed up. Puffed up to me is pride, pride opens a door to destruction. It’s what the bible described, ‘pride before a fall’. Its love to not believe that you are better than another. Remember once you are elevated in a promotion to stay humble so that pride doesn’t enter. It’s not wrong to excel God gives promotion. It’s a heart attitude that puffs you up.

Love does not behave rudely. Rude is ‘short, brief or abrupt’. Most of us don’t try to be rude but if we are stressed, overburdened we may come off in rudeness. It doesn’t excuse it but recognize your fault and say you’re sorry.

Love does not seek its own. In this it does not always look for it’s own way. Love is open to other opinions and ways of doing things. Why because opinions are just opinions not facts. It doesn’t always have to be our way of doing it. But it should be God’s way always.

Love is not provoked. Provoked means ‘stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion. Typically, a strong or unwelcome one) in someone’. Love weighs its response, it doesn’t react. When we react, we have triggered? To overcome this, understand the why you triggered and let God heal it.

Love thinks no evil. This goes to the core of our thought life. We may not say it but if we are thinking it its eventually coming out of our mouth. Evil here does not stand for the dark side it is the bad, unloving, thoughts we think about someone. How we think affects us in a lot of ways. Look for the best in people.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn’t back iniquity, wrong behaviors, or injustice but it loves righteousness and truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Since the apostle was writing to the church it’s important to remember churches are made of people. People are different and we need to bear all things in love. Obviously not abuse but the differences need to be endured. Be patient and kind and let God fix what needs to be changed.

We can believe the best for situations and trust God with the things we do not understand. Hope is essential for life and believing God will work out the stuff. It says love endures all things. I think of the hardships people go through in starting business, groups, churches etc. and if they had quit there would not be the business, group or churches. Love never fails.

Let’s be like Jesus and love like He did.

The Lost Art of Kindness

Kindness matters

What does it mean to be kind? How do you know when you’re not being kind? What does the fruit of kindness look like?

2019 seems to be the year of people saying and doing unkind words and deeds. All over Facebook, Twitter and News Media you see and read of more and more unkind things being said. Politics has revved it up on all sides.

People are believing everything any news person they like says and then spewing it out as if they know it’s a fact. 

But somewhere kindness is still alive. Some random acts of kindness still happen, people still respond to needs of tragedies and losses with compassion. Neighbors still help one another in some neighborhoods.

Step back and ask God what he thinks about kindness.

First what does kindness mean? It means “The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.”

Here are a few similar words meaning kindness: “Tenderness, goodwill, concern, care, helpful, selflessness, compassion, sympathy, understanding, warmth, affection, friendliness, benevolence, neighborliness, patience, tolerance, mercifulness, decency, charitableness, and graciousness.”

How do you know when you’re not being kind? We all have a conscience. God will let you know through your conscience. Our Conscience will tell us when we are not kind, but we must be listening and responsive. When we realize we weren’t kind apologize for it, don’t ignore it. Recognize it and ask forgiveness.

What is the fruit of kindness? Being friendly when you don’t know someone, giving a hand of help when you can, if someone drops something picking it up, holding a door open and smiling all equals friendliness.

More fruit of kindness equals waiting without an attitude, patience. Or waiting in line when the cashier is slow and the person in front of you is causing a backup and not complaining but smiling that’s kindness in action.

I saw on Facebook a well know celebrity and a politician were seated by each other at a sport event. The celebrity was berated on social media just for sitting next to someone who doesn’t believe like she does. She addressed this issue with diplomacy and kindness and ended with “just be kind.”

I thought about how God used her words to remind all of us kindness matters.

It is time to stop putting our opinions and attitudes above good manners. Did you ever hear the saying ‘Manners Matter’? I forget who said it, but it is true, and kindness is good manners.

The bible tells us kindness is a fruit of the Spirit and its love. Real love is kind…

Its time to be neighborly again. Sometimes it takes a lot more strength to be kind then grumpy. But I have faith we can change and be kinder and helpful.

Show kindness not just to your own little group but to someone you don’t know or don’t like.

It’s also time to stop listening to the negative reports and become the kindness needed around us.

Kindness Matters and Love never fails!