Tag: I Corinthians 13:4-8

What do you base your Love on?

What is love? Why is love so important? Where does it come from? Is it found in a feeling, thought or action? Or are all three of these involved in love? Does love include your mind, will and emotions? These are a few questions I would like to look at and think about.

First what is love? The Dictionary states, noun 1) “An intense feeling of deep affection. 2) A great interest and pleasure in something. Such as love for football.”

The Urban Dictionary defines love as “The act of caring and giving to someone else. Having someone’s best interest and well being as a priority in your life. To truly love is a very selfless act.” These definitions show us a few things that describe love according to the Dictionary.

Any time I do premarital counseling I like to ask couples why do you love each other; this question causes thoughts and expression so that each one can hear why each other loves them. Just saying I love you is not enough; love is always an expression of action. In healthy relationships love is selfless, it is always moving and growing. Love is stable, reliable, security, with meaningful communication and affection.

Relationships that embrace the differences in each other develop into healthy friendships. Love accepts the differences in others. For example, my husband is a drummer he played drums all his life. I do not have rhythm I struggle to clap in time. But my strengths are in other areas I love to sing. These differences do not hinder us because we embrace our differences, and we are not trying to make each other be like our selves. I think being able to laugh at yourself helps keep balance in love too. Laughter does the heart good.

Parental love also expresses to the child stability, consistency, security, communication, acceptance, affirmations, affection, boundaries and consequences. Healthy love has boundaries it also says I am sorry when wrong or I have hurt someone or reacted in a wrong way. Parental love teaches children how to love.

The Word of God describes love in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-Love never fails.” This description of love is actions, thoughts and words. This is the kind of love we are to walk and live in daily.

God loved us so much He sent His only begotten son to die for us so that we could live eternally with Him. In John 3:16 it tells us of Gods sacrificial love. Jesus laid down His own life for us, His love for us endured suffering, sorrow and death by taking our place, to buy forgiveness of sin for us. God showed His love through His Son Christ Jesus. Love expresses itself in sacrifice at times.

Love is a decision so your will is involved in love. Love is not just a feeling it is a choice. You can choose to walk and live love every moment. Let’s choose to love today.

What is love supposed to look like?

Well, I think it depends on the type of love as I wrote in my last blog post ‘What is love?’ I’ve been pondering on 1 Corinthians description of love. Most of us can quote it we have heard it spoken in marriage services and in sermons. But quoting it is easy, living it is where the rubber meets the road.

First let me say, this passage was written to the Corinthian church not about marriage but about the gifts of the spirit and unity of the body. So therefore, it is an essential element for all of us to consider in how we deal with others. You see if you can speak in tongues but can’t walk in love then you’re like a sounding cymbal just a loud noise the bible says. Or if you prophesy but have not love then it’s worth nothing. ‘Love one another’ is a key to walking in Christ. So, what does love look like?

1 Corinthian 13:4-8 states, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-love never fails.”

We are one body Jesus is the head of the body, so it is important to understand that we need to walk like he did in love. Love is not weak or enabling love is the character of God.

God is not an enabler he won’t excuse your unruly behavior because he loves us enough to give us consequences, so we repent and learn his way. His love is longsuffering but don’t ever take it for granted that just because you got away with it for now doesn’t mean you will get away with it forever. Real love gives consequences for wrong behavior. As parents we instruct our children through their choices and consequences. That is called discipline. Discipline is training it’s not punishment. Love trains a child.

As I’m reading through the bible, I see just how Holy and precise God is in His details. The bible says God is love, He doesn’t just love He is love, it’s his being.

So, as we are thinking on how love looks, acts or thinks lets look at different aspects of 1 Corinthians 13 love. First it suffers long and is kind, what does that mean? I think it means patience and kindness while you wait. Sometimes we can be impatient and unkind while we wait for change, answers etc. Most of us want it now not later. But waiting is good for us sometimes because it develops character and maturity.

Love does not envy. Envy is wanting what another has with discontent with what you have. Envy becomes a grueling task master because it is never satisfied. But love appreciates when someone else has or is getting and is happy for them.

Love does not parade itself. Parade puts on a show, be genuine in your actions with others it’s not about how great we are it’s about compassion and kindness. Parade to me means we don’t have to tell everyone what we’ve done for someone it’s their testimony let them tell it. Don’t self-promote let someone else tell your good qualities. Unless you’re applying for a job then it’s the right time to tell your qualities.

Love is not puffed up. Puffed up to me is pride, pride opens a door to destruction. It’s what the bible described, ‘pride before a fall’. Its love to not believe that you are better than another. Remember once you are elevated in a promotion to stay humble so that pride doesn’t enter. It’s not wrong to excel God gives promotion. It’s a heart attitude that puffs you up.

Love does not behave rudely. Rude is ‘short, brief or abrupt’. Most of us don’t try to be rude but if we are stressed, overburdened we may come off in rudeness. It doesn’t excuse it but recognize your fault and say you’re sorry.

Love does not seek its own. In this it does not always look for it’s own way. Love is open to other opinions and ways of doing things. Why because opinions are just opinions not facts. It doesn’t always have to be our way of doing it. But it should be God’s way always.

Love is not provoked. Provoked means ‘stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion. Typically, a strong or unwelcome one) in someone’. Love weighs its response, it doesn’t react. When we react, we have triggered? To overcome this, understand the why you triggered and let God heal it.

Love thinks no evil. This goes to the core of our thought life. We may not say it but if we are thinking it its eventually coming out of our mouth. Evil here does not stand for the dark side it is the bad, unloving, thoughts we think about someone. How we think affects us in a lot of ways. Look for the best in people.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn’t back iniquity, wrong behaviors, or injustice but it loves righteousness and truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Since the apostle was writing to the church it’s important to remember churches are made of people. People are different and we need to bear all things in love. Obviously not abuse but the differences need to be endured. Be patient and kind and let God fix what needs to be changed.

We can believe the best for situations and trust God with the things we do not understand. Hope is essential for life and believing God will work out the stuff. It says love endures all things. I think of the hardships people go through in starting business, groups, churches etc. and if they had quit there would not be the business, group or churches. Love never fails.

Let’s be like Jesus and love like He did.

What is a good relationship?

What does it take to have a good relationship? Whether it is marital, friendship, or family there are some qualities that exist in good relationships.

The first vital quality of a good relationship is honesty. Honesty gives security for any relationship it builds trust. Without honesty trust will be lacking. Without trust there will be no security in the relationship.

The second quality of good relationships is love. Love is a quality not based upon performance but on commitment to the relationship. Commitment is necessary for the relationship to thrive. Commitment is the adhesive in love for relationships.  The bible states in I Corinthians 13:4-8 “What is love it is patient, kind, it is not envious, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth it always protects, it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

So, does a good relationship mean there is no disagreements? Absolutely not this means that you are willing to work through them. The third quality of a good relationship is forgiveness. Sometimes we say stuff wrongly or hurt the other person with out realizing it. You work through these situations by asking for forgiveness or giving forgiveness.

The fourth quality of a good relationship is significant communication. A good relationship extends beyond the trivial pleasantries and brings out the conversations of feelings, wants and needs. It is so important to the person to listen to their words and understand their meaning.  If you do not talk clearly what you are thinking, feeling and meaning the other individual will be left with their own interpretation of what you are saying. Never stop the discussion without understanding what the person meant.

The fifth quality of a good relationship is faithfulness. Faithfulness is demonstrated in honoring your word. Faithfulness to your word means you do what you said you would do. Faithfulness also means you are loyal. These are qualities that build trust and security in relationships.

All these qualities of honesty, love, commitment, trust, security, significant communication, forgiveness, and faithfulness develop good relationships. I would inspire you to find ways to grow your relationships with these qualities.