Tag: humble

How do you refocus when life is scrambled?

What is your focus on? Our focus may be on all kinds of things from home to careers and all that is in between. But what is going happen when your focus gets blurred due to unforeseen circumstances? That is when we need to refocus. What does refocus mean? It means “to focus again to change the emphasis or direction of.”

In the natural our view might be clouded caused by eye problems. Such as what I’m experiencing, I can see however not so clear in the left eye. I’m facing a cataract and partial corneal transplant surgery next month. So, I must focus to see.    

When things get a bit haywire what do you focus on? When life is scrambled with all kinds of ups and downs how do you keep your focus? I think it depends on what you’re focusing on. Our lives are made up of all kinds of important tasks and people who are involved in them. But to me the most essential focus that helps all the other areas in our lives is God and keeping my focus on Him.

There are many scriptures to help keep your focus clear. When your heart and mind are on the Lord it trains you to keep a clear focus. Keeping your heart and mind clear is most important. When our hearts are right with God and we stay humble and contrite we will keep a clear focus.

How do you focus when life is scrambled? By going back to God letting Him refocus your heart and mind. Laying the cares of the day at His feet and receiving His peace. Getting alone with the Lord is the first step to refocusing. Only God can tell you what is really in your heart. When we come before Him with thanksgiving and praise Him for who He is this will affect your focus.

When we come to the Lord with our cares and concerns without thanksgiving the focus becomes lopsided. But when I turn my eyes on Jesus and thank Him for who He is and for what He has done. Then my focus becomes clearer. A peace settles over me and I can petition my prayers through His focus.

God knows clearer what I need than I know or what others need. Each day has new challenges but everyday our focus can stay clear as we allow God to lead, guide and focus our day.

What constitutes a good man?

Have you ever heard someone say, ‘oh he’s a good man?” I’ve heard those words about my husband lots of times. So, what does it mean to be a good man? What kind of character traits do you see in a person that constitutes a good man?

To me a good man is a faithful, honest, kind, caring and hardworking. These are the qualities I see in Roger. No one is perfect but when we are quick to admit we are wrong and repent, ask for forgiveness we grow as individuals and as a couple.

All relationships take time to develop. As your relationships grow trust is developed in little ways. Such as honoring your word. That is a straightforward way to show your faithfulness if you said it, then do it.

Empathy is an essential element in relationships because if you cannot empathize with the persons feelings how can you show them love. Men may not always ‘understand’ a woman’s feelings, but they still can show empathy in ways she needs.

Good is a word used to describe a person who has good character. A man of good character is like a ‘well built building.’ He can withstand the storms of life because he is strong in character. A man with integrity and reliable, trustworthy, strong in ways that are helpful and resilient.

I asked my husband what his definition of a good man is. He said, “Being true to yourself and the one you are with.” Which means knowing who you are and not going beyond that. Self-discipline, a spirit of excellence, humility and friendly are all good qualities in a man he said.

Men and women were designed differently by God and we will look at a good woman on another day. One way to know if a person has good character is to watch how they react in situations. Good character does not abuse or use those who are around them. Good character sees the best in others and empowers them to use their gifts and talents. A man of good character will celebrate those around him and their accomplishments. And if married along with their wife and children’s accomplishments too.

A man of good character will lay down his life for his wife like Christ did for His bride the Church. Only God is good Jesus said. But you can have good character. I believe a man who loves God with all his heart and who is humble will always have good character.  

Healthy Relationships 101

What is love supposed to look like?

Well, I think it depends on the type of love as I wrote in my last blog post ‘What is love?’ I’ve been pondering on 1 Corinthians description of love. Most of us can quote it we have heard it spoken in marriage services and in sermons. But quoting it is easy, living it is where the rubber meets the road.

First let me say, this passage was written to the Corinthian church not about marriage but about the gifts of the spirit and unity of the body. So therefore, it is an essential element for all of us to consider in how we deal with others. You see if you can speak in tongues but can’t walk in love then you’re like a sounding cymbal just a loud noise the bible says. Or if you prophesy but have not love then it’s worth nothing. ‘Love one another’ is a key to walking in Christ. So, what does love look like?

1 Corinthian 13:4-8 states, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-love never fails.”

We are one body Jesus is the head of the body, so it is important to understand that we need to walk like he did in love. Love is not weak or enabling love is the character of God.

God is not an enabler he won’t excuse your unruly behavior because he loves us enough to give us consequences, so we repent and learn his way. His love is longsuffering but don’t ever take it for granted that just because you got away with it for now doesn’t mean you will get away with it forever. Real love gives consequences for wrong behavior. As parents we instruct our children through their choices and consequences. That is called discipline. Discipline is training it’s not punishment. Love trains a child.

As I’m reading through the bible, I see just how Holy and precise God is in His details. The bible says God is love, He doesn’t just love He is love, it’s his being.

So, as we are thinking on how love looks, acts or thinks lets look at different aspects of 1 Corinthians 13 love. First it suffers long and is kind, what does that mean? I think it means patience and kindness while you wait. Sometimes we can be impatient and unkind while we wait for change, answers etc. Most of us want it now not later. But waiting is good for us sometimes because it develops character and maturity.

Love does not envy. Envy is wanting what another has with discontent with what you have. Envy becomes a grueling task master because it is never satisfied. But love appreciates when someone else has or is getting and is happy for them.

Love does not parade itself. Parade puts on a show, be genuine in your actions with others it’s not about how great we are it’s about compassion and kindness. Parade to me means we don’t have to tell everyone what we’ve done for someone it’s their testimony let them tell it. Don’t self-promote let someone else tell your good qualities. Unless you’re applying for a job then it’s the right time to tell your qualities.

Love is not puffed up. Puffed up to me is pride, pride opens a door to destruction. It’s what the bible described, ‘pride before a fall’. Its love to not believe that you are better than another. Remember once you are elevated in a promotion to stay humble so that pride doesn’t enter. It’s not wrong to excel God gives promotion. It’s a heart attitude that puffs you up.

Love does not behave rudely. Rude is ‘short, brief or abrupt’. Most of us don’t try to be rude but if we are stressed, overburdened we may come off in rudeness. It doesn’t excuse it but recognize your fault and say you’re sorry.

Love does not seek its own. In this it does not always look for it’s own way. Love is open to other opinions and ways of doing things. Why because opinions are just opinions not facts. It doesn’t always have to be our way of doing it. But it should be God’s way always.

Love is not provoked. Provoked means ‘stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion. Typically, a strong or unwelcome one) in someone’. Love weighs its response, it doesn’t react. When we react, we have triggered? To overcome this, understand the why you triggered and let God heal it.

Love thinks no evil. This goes to the core of our thought life. We may not say it but if we are thinking it its eventually coming out of our mouth. Evil here does not stand for the dark side it is the bad, unloving, thoughts we think about someone. How we think affects us in a lot of ways. Look for the best in people.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn’t back iniquity, wrong behaviors, or injustice but it loves righteousness and truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Since the apostle was writing to the church it’s important to remember churches are made of people. People are different and we need to bear all things in love. Obviously not abuse but the differences need to be endured. Be patient and kind and let God fix what needs to be changed.

We can believe the best for situations and trust God with the things we do not understand. Hope is essential for life and believing God will work out the stuff. It says love endures all things. I think of the hardships people go through in starting business, groups, churches etc. and if they had quit there would not be the business, group or churches. Love never fails.

Let’s be like Jesus and love like He did.