How to make your word valuable…

How important is your word to someone? Years ago, people made agreements based on their word and a handshake. But now people have contracts and legal documents to hold individuals to their word. Why is that? Because the handshake and giving of their word no longer worked. People stopped caring about honoring their word.

I personally believe if you say it, you should do it. I believe it is biblical to honor your word. The scripture is found in Psalm 15:4. It’s a sign of maturity. We need to try to keep our word unless an emergency comes up or sickness prevents. It helps people to trust you. There is value in knowing someone is reliable.

Here are three practices to help honor your word.

The first method is taught by Jesus. He said, “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Anything that is added means it depends on such as ‘I’ll try, or maybe, will see.’ You might as well say no because this is always a back doorway out, it means if something better comes up, you’re not available. Be honest with yourself by knowing your boundaries and limits. Over commitments tend to make a person unreliable which leads to a lack of trust.

Secondly, keep track of your commitments by writing them down or putting them in your phone calendar. I’m a little old school I still carry a calendar. Whatever way you prefer, use it to keep track of your appointments and commitments this helps you to remember what you committed to. This produces an excellent work ethic and people will trust you.

Thirdly, Psalm 15:4 says, “…honor your word even when it hurts.” It’s not always easy and sometimes its really difficult but it will build good character and strength in you. Our word is important it builds trust when we follow through with what we have said. It really is a good character strength to have. Try thinking about what you really mean before you answer so your word will not be misinterpreted. I prefer to think about my answer because I know if I say it, I will do it.

Commitment to your word adds value to your reputation.

Healthy Relationships 101

A few years back I taught on Healthy Relationships. As I was pondering on the blog this morning I keep thinking about that teaching. So, for the next few blogs I will expound on Healthy Relationships 101.

Why do I use the word Healthy? Because knowing what is healthy recognizes, enables or helps one to get away from unhealthy, toxic or abusive relationships. It also validates what you are doing to make your relationships healthy, vibrant and growing.

As a minister when asked to officiate a wedding ceremony I required the couples to do pre-marital counseling. Through the years I’ve complied a packet of information from excellent authors. Such as Dr. Gary Smalley, Dr. Les & Leslie Parrot, Pat Springle, Dr. Cloud and Townsend. I believe when given the proper tools and the persons are teachable the couples can have a healthy relationship.

Although healthy relationships 101 is not just for couples. These tools will help all kinds of relationships at work, home, families, friends, school, and church etc. If people are willing and teachable anything is fixable.

Having the right tools to do a job is essential to getting the job done effectively. Having tools with no knowledge will get nothing done.

I’m presenting some tools and providing references that I encourage you to read and apply to your lives which will enable you to grow in healthy relationships. What does healthy look like?

In the Book: A Christian Perspective ‘Codependency’ by: Pat Springle It states, “These are the qualities that people need to become healthy and secure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance; forgiveness, laughter, fun, a sense of worth, time to work and play together, attention, compassion, comfort, honesty, objectivity, freedom to express emotions appropriately, friendship, freedom to have your own opinion, your own identity, appropriate responsibility, loving correction, affirmation.” He also states, “Relationships that are real, genuine, and honest and that offer the freedom to express true feelings are healthy.”

The first principles of healthy relationships 101 are:  Honesty builds trust. Honesty speaks the truth in love. Truth spoken without love is just harsh. Being honest hurts sometimes but healthy relationships will speak the truth in love. God is always honest and tells us truths about ourselves to better us not harm us. Lies are of the enemy not God. And avoidance of truth by lack of information is not truth at all its manipulation. Therefore, without honesty there cannot be trust.

Honor is a form of respect. Respect must be mutual for it to be healthy. Honor is esteeming another and its appreciation of the value of their life. Dr. Gary Smalley said, “Honor attaches high value to something or someone.” Honor esteems another as better, not lower but gives them your undivided attention and says “I’m glad I’m with you” this can be done in verbal and non-verbal ways. An example: When my husband was working, (He’s retired now) he got up at 3:20am and before he left the house, he would make coffee for me and set the timer so it would be ready when I got up at 7am. To me that is a form of honor.

Humor in relationships is a ‘quality of being amusing or comic’ that is funny in life situations. Finding humor in situations helps us to not take life so seriously. This is not about mocking someone it is laughing at yourself and with others. The bible says, ‘laughter does the heart good like medicine.’ My husband and I find laughter in all sorts of situations. These three principles can help on your path to healthy relationships. To be continued tomorrow…