Tag: good character

How to make your word valuable…

How important is your word to someone? Years ago, people made agreements based on their word and a handshake. But now people have contracts and legal documents to hold individuals to their word. Why is that? Because the handshake and giving of their word no longer worked. People stopped caring about honoring their word.

I personally believe if you say it, you should do it. I believe it is biblical to honor your word. The scripture is found in Psalm 15:4. It’s a sign of maturity. We need to try to keep our word unless an emergency comes up or sickness prevents. It helps people to trust you. There is value in knowing someone is reliable.

Here are three practices to help honor your word.

The first method is taught by Jesus. He said, “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Anything that is added means it depends on such as ‘I’ll try, or maybe, will see.’ You might as well say no because this is always a back doorway out, it means if something better comes up, you’re not available. Be honest with yourself by knowing your boundaries and limits. Over commitments tend to make a person unreliable which leads to a lack of trust.

Secondly, keep track of your commitments by writing them down or putting them in your phone calendar. I’m a little old school I still carry a calendar. Whatever way you prefer, use it to keep track of your appointments and commitments this helps you to remember what you committed to. This produces an excellent work ethic and people will trust you.

Thirdly, Psalm 15:4 says, “…honor your word even when it hurts.” It’s not always easy and sometimes its really difficult but it will build good character and strength in you. Our word is important it builds trust when we follow through with what we have said. It really is a good character strength to have. Try thinking about what you really mean before you answer so your word will not be misinterpreted. I prefer to think about my answer because I know if I say it, I will do it.

Commitment to your word adds value to your reputation.

What constitutes a good woman?

The culture of today may think how a person looks or what their net worth is makes a good woman. But I can assure you it does not. No one is good except God but each one of us has the potential to have good character.

I believe a woman of quality character is more valuable than wealth. One who is honest, loyal, has integrity, humility, hardworking and puts God first is more valuable than a priceless gem. I asked my husband what he thought a good woman was he said a Proverbs 31 woman like you. Thank you, Roger.

You can have good character and not love God but when God is first there is a grace of inner beauty that cannot be compared to. The bible talks about such a woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. King Lemuel’s words came from what his mother taught him. She spoke with words of wisdom and words for finding a virtuous wife. We all can look at this passage of scripture and glean from her wisdom. But whether your single or married you can be a virtuous woman. A woman of excellent character.

In verse 30 it says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” So often we put pressure on ourselves about appearance and God looks more at our hearts. God chose David based on his heart and not his appearance it is the same for us.

There is nothing wrong in taking care of yourself it is healthy to do so. Plus, there is nothing wrong in wearing makeup, jewelry, getting your nails done etc. I think the point I’m making is all those things are good although not what is it that makes your character have value.

Your value is derived from God and your character shows in your actions, that is based in your heart, beliefs and thoughts. Out of our heart flows the issues of life the bible says. In Matthew 15:18-19 Jesus said “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”

Good character could be developed through conscious genuine effort in, one allowing God to change our character deficits and two by allowing humility, work ethics, relationships to work out our rough edges. Sometimes we want others to change but we forget to let God change us first.

As a woman I know that we try not to let the world around us affect us but as a woman I know the battle to keep peace of mind is real. I choose to speak the Word of God to the things that try to rob my peace and keep my mind on God. In a world of comparisons, it may be difficult to not do a comparison to others. Comparing yourself to somebody else is a trick of the enemy because God created you unique, and one of kind. You do not need to be like anyone else. Compare your character to Jesus He will work on making you Christlike.  

As a woman I know it does help not to wear my emotions on my sleeve and to look at situations with faith and not fear. Yes, it’s easier said than done but when you mediate on Gods word it flows out of your inner man and comes forth out of your mouth. He fights our battles. I have learned to trust God over my emotions, thoughts and body. Every day brings new challenges for women and men but through Christ we are overcomers.

Whether you know that or not you have an unseen enemy and God’s Son who is the living Word won the battle for you. So, allow Him to help you as you go along your day. It’s time to enjoy being the woman God created you to be.    

What constitutes a good man?

Have you ever heard someone say, ‘oh he’s a good man?” I’ve heard those words about my husband lots of times. So, what does it mean to be a good man? What kind of character traits do you see in a person that constitutes a good man?

To me a good man is a faithful, honest, kind, caring and hardworking. These are the qualities I see in Roger. No one is perfect but when we are quick to admit we are wrong and repent, ask for forgiveness we grow as individuals and as a couple.

All relationships take time to develop. As your relationships grow trust is developed in little ways. Such as honoring your word. That is a straightforward way to show your faithfulness if you said it, then do it.

Empathy is an essential element in relationships because if you cannot empathize with the persons feelings how can you show them love. Men may not always ‘understand’ a woman’s feelings, but they still can show empathy in ways she needs.

Good is a word used to describe a person who has good character. A man of good character is like a ‘well built building.’ He can withstand the storms of life because he is strong in character. A man with integrity and reliable, trustworthy, strong in ways that are helpful and resilient.

I asked my husband what his definition of a good man is. He said, “Being true to yourself and the one you are with.” Which means knowing who you are and not going beyond that. Self-discipline, a spirit of excellence, humility and friendly are all good qualities in a man he said.

Men and women were designed differently by God and we will look at a good woman on another day. One way to know if a person has good character is to watch how they react in situations. Good character does not abuse or use those who are around them. Good character sees the best in others and empowers them to use their gifts and talents. A man of good character will celebrate those around him and their accomplishments. And if married along with their wife and children’s accomplishments too.

A man of good character will lay down his life for his wife like Christ did for His bride the Church. Only God is good Jesus said. But you can have good character. I believe a man who loves God with all his heart and who is humble will always have good character.  

Healthy Relationships 101

Fruit Inspectors

People can say all kinds of nice things but their actions through time proves their real heart.  Bad trees don’t produce good healthy fruit.  Good trees also cannot produce bad fruit.

In Luke 6:43-45 Jesus said, “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44) For every tree is known by its own fruit.  For men do not gather figs from thorns, no do they gather grapes from a bramble bush.  45) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.  For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” 

We live in a world where people are deceiving.  But how do you recognize fruit in a person.  By listening to their words are they consistent in producing good fruit such as peace and life in you?  Or does it produce in you hurt and anxiety that means their fruit is bad.

Also look at their character.  Are they responsible, faithful, hardworking, honest, trustworthy in their actions?  Do their words match their actions? If not then their fruit is bad, toxic and harmful.

Jesus warned us about bad fruit.  Stop for a moment and see what habitual fruit do they have?

A mistake is a sincere accident it doesn’t get justified and you purpose not to do it again.  But habitual actions and words aren’t a mistake it’s bad character flaws. That is bad fruit.

People say we are not supposed to judge.  But looking for true good fruit is essential to a healthy life.  It’s not judging it’s inspecting for quality fruit.

Businesses have quality control inspectors.  The control isn’t like a controlling person it is inspecting to make sure there is quality because bad quality causes the company failure.

Unfortunately, with people their bad, negative, and harmful character is what they really are.  Inspect and look at it with eyes open to truth.

Truth can withstand inspection.  Good fruit can be looked at without hesitation but bad fruit hates to be uncovered and that’s a red flag.

Red flags are warnings listen to those warnings. 

Ask God for help to make a step-in wholeness.  We believe in the best for people but being naive will only stop you from seeing truth when dealing with bad fruit people.  Unhealthy people with bad fruit take advantage of naive people. 

We need to be fruit inspectors so that we stay on the road of wholeness.