Tag: frustrated

What Are Three Ways to Defuse Anger

How do you defuse anger? I grew up in a setting where anger was not supposed to be allowed. Not sure how I got that impression, but I always thought anger was bad. When I got older and understood God’s word it says, ‘be angry and sin not.’ Which made me understand the anger is not an issue it is what we do with it that makes a problem.

I’m strong believer in speaking up and addressing issues. Throughout life I have come to realize the longer one holds onto a hurt it festers into something bigger. Anger lets us know something is wrong within us. When we feel the secondary emotion of anger it is a red flag saying something isn’t right within me. I am either hurt, fearful or frustrated about something and someone. If we ignore this flag, it does not go away it just becomes seething inside and will come out on someone or something.

So how do we defuse anger? First recognize that the anger is secondary it is an emotion to let you know something is wrong. Finding out what is going on inside of you by asking your self-questions. Questions like what is the real reason I am angry? Am I’m hurt by this… or afraid of this… will help you to address the underlying issue?

Secondly to defuse the anger is ‘deal with the issue.’ Repressing hurt does not solve a problem. Addressing an issue isn’t always easy but when done with good communications tools the person isn’t left hurting worse or wondering what that was about. Anger helps us to make a change too if we allow it. Sometimes we can procrastinate to make a change until we get angry and see the need for the change. Once again anger is an emotional red flag that something is wrong. Making changes can be difficult especially when they alter how you are living but for real change to take place, we usually must make tough decisions and act upon them.

Thirdly in defusing your anger it helps to speak truths to yourself about yourself. I speak the word of God to myself in situations it produces faith and builds my mind and heart on od things. God’s word has healthy loving statements to make to yourself. It produces life and peace in us.

When I get angry, I ask the Holy Spirit to show me what is really going on within me. Use the moment to produce change in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Annette

Three Tools To Fight The Good Fight Of Faith…

How do we fight the good fight of faith? What is the good fight of faith? What does the Apostle Paul mean when he tells Timothy to fight the good fight of faith? Obviously, it is not a physical fight but a moral, spiritual and emotional fight. Our scripture reference is 1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

The reader needs to review 1 Timothy chapter six because the context is important to understanding the good fight of faith that the apostle Paul is writing to Timothy about. He tells him in verse six “godliness with contentment is great gain.” What ever place we are in God supplies our need. Being content with what you have is essential to peace. When we are focused on what we do not have we become frustrated and fretful with life.

Fighting the good fight is a moral, emotional and spiritual fight. When we get to focused on getting things or having what we do not have, we become focused on ourselves. This can open the door to greed, lust, self-pity, and bitterness. The Apostle Paul understood this and said in Philippians 3:12 “I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things, I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  He understood the harm of letting our situations consume our mind, will and emotions. He understood that Christ strength empowers us to endure and wait, and to press on and persevere. Which is part of “the fighting the good fight of faith.”

First tool for fighting the good fight of faith is God’s Word. Speaking God’s Word to overcome in any area is the best tool to fight with. His word is effective and powerful.

One way in using God’s Word is to knock down the thoughts and imaginations that are contrary to God’s word and His peace. Be mindful of your thoughts they generate consequences on your emotions, health and wellness and eventually will cause spiritual issues. It is good training to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help recognize what kind of thinking you are doing. Recognizing your positive and negative thoughts clarifies what type of self-talk you are thinking about. Both men and women talk to them selves and how we talk to ourselves has an influence on us.

This scripture tells us how to pull down our thoughts that exult against the knowledge God. Anything contrary to God’s word, will and ways should be taken down in our thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10: 3-6 states, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to obedience of Christ, 6) and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

How by verbally saying I tear down the thought…be specific and speak the thought out loud and loose it off your mind in the Name of Jesus. If it comes back loose it from your mind again.

The second tool to “fight the good fight of faith” is prayer and fasting. This tool keeps your flesh in submission to your spirit. We fast and pray because God’s word is telling us too. It’s a good tool to discipline your self and a training tool to focus your mind, heart and spirit on God Almighty. Some of us have health issues so don’t get caught up in the word fasting. If you have health issue and cannot go with out eating you can always give up something for example, Facebook, tv, treats etc. My husband just did a 10-week challenge for fight club and gave up Facebook. It was a way to sacrifice and focus on scripture and prayer.

In 1 Timothy 6:11 it says, “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.” Fleeing what is harmful to you and your walk with God and pursuing the character traits of Jesus.  

The third tool to fight the good fight of faith is humility. When we walk in humility God gives us grace. Humility produces a teachableness and dependence on God. When your humble you are not relying on your own instincts and modes you depend on God’s word, will and ways. God provides us with wisdom and knowledge. Fighting the good fight of faith is daily living focused and dependent on the word, will and ways of God.