fear – Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette

How does fear affect you and how to overcome it?

Fear can be rational or irrational. It can debilitate when left unchecked. Fear that is irrational becomes phobias. Some fear is normal and healthy. It is wisdom to recognize when a situation is compromised such as walking down an alley that is dark and unknown.

Fear as a noun means “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Similar words dread, panic, worry, angst, anxiety, unease… Fear as a verb “be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.”

Fear is a heightened sense of danger. How we respond to it and what we do with it can help us to overcome the emotion or give in to it. Our emotions are connected to our thoughts and our hearts and mind are also connected. The emotion of fear causes a fight or flight response. “The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.” Quote from Psychology Tools.com

Therefore, you think of something and instantly feel it. That is a powerful statement because when we can control our thoughts, we then can control our emotions.

Emotions can be triggered without a thought but then the thoughts come. For example, I’m looking at flowers as I’m typing, and it makes me smile with joy then I thought of the friend who gave them to me. It is a beautiful spring day, winter has left, and the joy of sunshine fills our house. For me that gives me thoughts of spring cleaning and making a list of chores that need to be done inside along with the outside work. If I was dreading the chores those thoughts would cause me stress and then those thoughts would lead to procrastinate the chores. How we think effects outcomes.

If how we think effects outcomes, then working on thinking healthy thoughts would help us. God’s word tells to think on good things. But we need to remember that to do this we must give the things that cause fear, stress and anxiety to the Lord through prayer.

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8) finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if the there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”

Since we are looking at how fear affects us the answer is in the fight or flight response. When we take control of our thoughts with truths, we can make quality decisions on what is the best response for us to make. Learning to speak the truth to yourself is not just being positive because that can become toxic. Speaking the truth to yourself is speaking what is truth about the situation and according to God’s word.

How to Recognize and Defuse Anxiety…

Anxiety seems to be a word used often in the day and time we live in. So often now people say, ‘my anxiety.’ But we need to be empowered to reverse the anxiety so that it doesn’t just become who we are for the rest of our lives. What was once just passed over is now understood by its symptoms and that is important. People have anxiety for all kinds of reasons but there is help and hope for those who suffer with it.

First, what is anxiety? “Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.” Quote Mayo Clinic These are just some of the symptoms.

‘There is a normal anxiety that most people get before public speaking or taking a test.’ “Anxiety is only an indicator of underlying disease when feelings become excessive, all consuming, and interfere with daily living.” Quote Mayo Clinic I recommend if you are suffering with excessive and all-consuming anxiety it is time to seek professional help. You are valuable to God there is no shame in getting professional help.

Since an anxious mind is a fearful mind, we can look at it with the understanding that fear is at the root cause of anxiousness. When we allow our mind to stay fixed and focused on the situations of what ‘could be or won’t be’ it can become all consuming. This blog post is meant to help you recognize your thoughts and symptoms. And teach you how to change your thoughts so that you stop the worry and fear before it overcomes you. Fear is sneaky it waits and pounces when we least expect it. “Fear is an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Anxiety and fear have the fight or flight response. When in real danger fleeing is recommended. Our feeling of situations can distort our thinking and responses. That is why healthy self-talk can figure out if it is real or imagined.

The bible speaks a lot about fear and anxious thoughts. So from the word of God we can learn how to recognize, replace and overcome anxious thoughts. There are also healthy tools to help us to calm our emotions when anxious.

These two scriptures I speak to calm my mind when anxiety has tried to take over. Isaiah 26:3 NKJ “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Keeping our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of our faith is essential to keeping a calm mind. This means we rely and depend on Christ sacrifice to provide us with the peace He gave us. When we trust God to watch over us we can keep our focus on Him and not on what we think will happen. Assuming what will happen is just an assumption it is not a fact.

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8) Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.” Meditate equals think on these things.

I love this scripture because it reminds us to think on things that are good, and of a good report when the anxious negative thoughts abound, refuse them in Jesus’ name and replace them with the word of God and anything good, pure, and lovely. We can choose our thoughts!

Deep breathing slowly in and out slowly helps to release the toxins of stress, anxiety and fear which can make our bodies sore and tired. Understanding and recognizing the symptoms of stress, anxiety, and fear you experience helps to control your thoughts and emotions. Being aware of these helps to calm ourselves down quicker. Dr. Daniel G. Amen wrote in is book ‘Healing Anxiety and Depression’ “Whenever you feel anxious, mad, or tense, take a deep breath, hold it for four to five seconds, then slowly blow it out (take about six to eight seconds to blow out).” He says, “do this about ten times.” I find this helpful for me when I am also frustrated over a situation it helps calm me down and refocus my thoughts.

Dr. Carolyn Leaf in her book ‘Who Switched off my Brain’ said “A thought may seem harmless, but if it becomes toxic, even just a thought can become physically, emotionally, or spiritually dangerous. Thoughts are measurable and occupy mental ‘real estate.’ Thoughts are active; they grow and change. Thoughts influence every decision, word, actions and physical reaction we make.” You can refuse negative, unhealthy thoughts sometimes we have to say No I’m not thinking that!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

This scripture shows that we can take authority in Christ over our thoughts. Truly the battle is won or lost in our minds. We have the choice to think what we want don’t accept every thought that comes to your mind. Strongholds are built in our mind one thought (unchecked) at a time. Be aware of what you are thinking do not give the anxious negative thoughts free rein in your mind because it will build a stronghold in the mind.

Stronghold thinking patterns can produce stress, fear and anxiety also. Once again if you have excessive and all consuming anxiety, it is time to seek professional help. You are valuable to God there is no shame in getting professional help.

Some proactive steps to take: Exercise is a helpful tool to reduce stress, and it is healthy for us along with eating healthy foods. Processed foods poison our bodies system so when you can avoid processed foods. We use Juice Plus and vitamins to help our body’s immune system. Drink water it’s not my favorite but it is essential for our bodies. Finding time to get alone with God and pray and meditate on the word will also help reduce stress, anxiety etc.

I thank God that He is with us and has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Jesus’ sacrifice paid the price for our salvation and in that is healing, deliverance, joy and peace.

Are You, Your worst enemy?

What does are you your worst enemy mean? It means the way we think affects our life. Our thoughts can trigger emotions and our thoughts left unchecked can become mindsets and strongholds.

When we put ourselves down through unhealthy thinking patterns, we become our worst enemy. These patterns become automatic, before you realize it you are speaking to your self unhealthy things about yourself, life, and others.

Shame, rejection, bitterness, unforgiveness, and fear are just a few issues that affect our thinking. Abuses are the most common culprit for thinking and feeling bad about yourself. Whether it is from present or past abuse it can affect how one feels and thinks about themself.

As you read this article ask yourself 1) Do I speak negatively about myself when things go wrong? 2) Do I blame myself when things don’t workout the way I think they should? 3) Can I separate my being from my doing?

If you answered yes to those questions, then it is time to refuse the negative narrative you speak to yourself. And allow God to bring healing into those areas of your heart. Being aware of our thoughts and how they affect us is possible when you question your thoughts. Ask yourself where this negative thought is coming from? Ask is it true, is it hurtful then turn the thought around to a positive statement of truth according to the Word of God.

For example: If you think ‘I’m not good enough’ then this thought pattern will stop you from trying new things, meeting new people or changing your life. This type of thought pattern is fueled by worthlessness. To conquer this thought pattern, you must speak the truth to yourself. Yes our behaviors can be wrong but who you are as a human being is valuable. God created us with value and worth because He loves us, He sent His only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. That means to God you are valuable and worth dying for.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” This scripture shows us how to take captive thoughts and strongholds that keep us tied up. Unhealthy negative thoughts about yourself are exalting itself against the knowledge of God. Why because God created us in His image.

Here are three areas we become our own worst enemy. 1) Thoughts, become our beliefs when we dwell on them. Thoughts left unchecked will produce emotions. Emotions are just that emotions they are not facts. Same as our opinions they also are not facts. Our perspective can also not be facts. Our opinions and perspective come from our thinking processes. Therefore, thoughts affect our actions.

2) Our behaviors left unrestrained will cause ourselves and others’ problems. My mom would say “Actions speak louder than words.” Which is true but let us add to this statement that ‘actions are thoughts being acted out.’ Usually, we do what we think on if our thoughts are unrestrained. And when we do our actions will affect our outcome. Let us clarify these statements. Unrestrained habitual negative thinking produces unrestrained actions. Actions affect our outcome. The outcome is a product of our thoughts put into actions. The bible says what we sow we reap.

3) In certain situations, our result becomes a product of our actions. We cannot control what others do or every circumstance that happens in life. But keeping in context to this article certain results come from our own unhealthy thinking patterns and actions.

When I was younger my thoughts would make me feel less than others but as I allowed the Spirit of God to teach me according to God’s Word who I am in Christ, He healed the inferiority thoughts. I wrote in my book “The Father’s Daughters” on somethings that I went through. We do not have to be our own worst enemy. There is enough problems in life we don’t have to help beat ourselves up.

We do need to admit when we are at fault or when our behavior is wrong and sinful. When we have repented and ask for forgiveness God does forgive us. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We then need to forgive ourselves and walk in His truth.

I do recommend you read the Bible daily. God’s word is truth of who He is and who you are in Him. I also recommend the book “The Father’s Daughters.” God wants to set His people free so that we can love others as we love ourselves. Jesus died so that we could be free in all areas of our lives.

Amazon.com: The Father’s Daughters: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection (9798705629275): Melton, Dr. Annette: Books

Three steps to overcoming offense

Offenses come and go but what happens when we hold onto them? What is an offense and how do we get rid of them from ourselves?

The dictionary’s definition of offense is “offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standard or principles.” Similar words for offense are “indignation, irritation, exasperation, wrath, displeasure, dislike, opposition, taken personally.”

In my terms offense occur when one person or group says or does something that another person or group does not like or believe and it causes the other person or group to hurt, fear or frustration.

In this reaction the fight or flight signal will be triggered, and we have a decision to address the issue or ignore it. Is it a real or perceived hurt would be a good question to ask yourself? Not everything said or done is intentional sometimes we can take it personally when the intent was not a personal attack. When we are consistently in a defend my opinion mode, we may become offended quickly.

Here are three steps to overcome offenses:

First admit where you are at in your heart and mind. Then look at it with this question is this a real or perceived hurt, fear or frustration.

Secondly, process it with truths. Is it just my opinion that is disagreed with or am I really hurt? Begin to look at truths about the situation.

To me opinions are just opinions there not facts. They are not good or bad they are just opinions. Today opinions are portrayed as truths, but they are not. For example, you can look at the sky and say it is a blue sky, someone else says it not blue it looks grey to me those are opinions. Is either one right maybe not it might look like light blue to another person. That is how each person sees it, so it is their opinion.

Third stage forgiveness. When we hold onto offense it turns inward and breeds anger, resentment and bitterness. Which keeps unforgiveness alive in us. It changes us internally because the heart and mind were affected by inner turmoil.

It is amazing how freeing forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a choice of your will. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the pain it caused, and it gives God the opportunity to heal the hurt.

Resolving Your Own Anger…

What is anger? Why do we get angry? And how do we defuse our anger? These questions are important to understand in resolving anger.

First, anger is a feeling that signals that there is something wrong and fuels a reply. Anger is like a warning flag to let you know something is going on inside of you. It’s a secondary emotion because there is always something underneath anger.

What is underneath the anger pain/hurt, afraid/fear or frustration/frustrated. For example, when we’re hurt by a person our body replies with anger first. Knowing everything that is underneath the anger will help you to defuse and resolve the problem.

Hence the bible tells us to be ‘angry but sin not.’ Anger is not the sin but what you are doing with anger can lead to sin. How do you be angry and sin not?

The first thing is realizing what is beneath your anger is fueling it. How do you realize it asking yourself (self-talk) what is going on inside of you? When you answer it, you’ll be able to defuse the anger by resolving the problem.

The second step to resolving the anger is addressing the issue. Approach the problem with the person or situation. Unresolved issues tend to promote anger. It is better to confront in love then stew, brew and boil.

Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” This means address the problem right away the longer anger is undealt with the larger the problem will be.

The word anger means “a strong feeling of being upset or annoyed because of something wrong or bad. The feeling that makes someone want to hurt other people, to shout etc.; the feeling of being angry, anger”

Use your words to communicate what’s beneath your anger. Then release the individual who hurt or frustrated you by forgiving them.

If fear is beneath the anger start speaking the truth to yourself. Speaking truths improves our own internal process to settle down and the reality then is easier to view, hear and grasp. For example, your spouse bought something very expensive and you didn’t know about, and your finances are tight this would cause anger to trigger because fear would begin to make you think and feel your going have to do with out or you won’t have enough… Fear makes us think of future problems before it even happens so in reality it may not even happen.

If frustration is below your anger deal with the issue through placing boundaries. Dealing with a situation or person through setting boundaries so that you’re no longer taken advantage of.

Through a step-by-step method you can resolve your anger. Ask questions, address the issue of the anger and answer the problem through truths, problem solving or boundaries

Frustrations may sometimes be from unclear boundaries. Make sure that your boundaries are intact. People can’t runover your boundaries unless you let them. If they storm over them set tougher boundaries. Sometimes we step around our own boundaries and it causes frustration if that is the case forgive yourself.

To resolve anger ask yourself questions, address what is going on beneath the anger and respond to it with truth, set clear and concise boundaries where you start and stop.

Give yourself grace because anger is not a sin. Learning how to resolve anger helps to defuse it.

The Darkest Time…

The Silence

The crucifixion was yesterday, I’m afraid they’ll find us. He’s gone! They killed Him, the earth shook when he died, and the veil was torn. What does all this mean? I’m sad so extremely sad. I cannot believe He’s gone. He healed people I saw it with my own eyes he raised Lazarus from the dead! I saw it but now he’s gone…

What they must of have felt and thought…? Their hopes and dreams of a better future crucified… laying in a tomb guarded by soldiers. It must have felt so devasting, the sorrow and pain of seeing him tortured and dying. Oh, my heart is breaking they must of thought.

But what now? The longest period in the history of humanity from his capture, death and subsequently silence. The quiet is deafening the silence is terrifying, horrifying and but then to think one of the disciples betrayed him.

The silence of not actually knowing, he stated that he would come back so how, he’s dead…. the world’s darkest moment in history.

But what was happening in the silence. In the spirit realm Jesus went to get the key to death and hades. He conquered Satan and made a display of it. He preached good news to people who never knew and set the captives free.

But in the physical world on the earth there remained silence an eerie deafening quiet. Mankind had no indication that the victory was won on the cross. People weren’t thinking about his return because the anguish, horror and sorrow remained consuming no more hope or joy just silence.

As I have written this from my mind, I was imagining how they must have felt without knowing what tomorrow brings. We know what tomorrow represents His resurrection, but they didn’t and in their silence was sadness, but joy was going to come in the morning for themselves and us.

The COVID-19 Tactic

The COVID-19 tactic is ‘social distancing.’ Are you reacting with faith and obedience or fear?

This is the scripture I read today in Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

And this verse of scripture has been on my heart for a few days Romans 13:1-2 “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2)Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.”

Today March 15, 2020 we chose to remain at home from the church building. I thank God for his knowledge to observe the “social distancing” are President, the CDC and health care community has advised.

I have been reading some goofy stuff on Facebook relating to the Covid-19 pandemic and it concerns me.

People who believe this is a hoax are not taking the fatalities and sickness to be serious and they are propagating lies. It’s not a hoax our President and his team wouldn’t make a request for the U.S. citizens to stay at home, close schools etc. if the situation wasn’t serious.

I’ve also heard political commentary on this as though their own opinion was fact founded and it’s not. Stop blaming the press for the virus maybe they did spread fear, but at the same time they didn’t make a virus.

I’ve also noticed jokes some hilarious particularly about the toilet paper stockpiling and some straightforward disturbing.

I’ve also noticed panic grip the minds of individuals to the point of not worried if they purchase everything and nobody else gets the supplies they require. Panic is fear and worry gripping the soul into extreme behaviors.

My spouse and I have been prepared, praying and then we will be using the wisdom of God to stay at home. Please understand that this is not a hoax, wash your hands and maintain some distance to ensure that you don’t become sick. And if your immune system is strong you don’t transmit the virus to others.

Schools are closed for a reason not a hoax. It is a novel virus which means that it’s a new virus, there is currently not a vaccine and they’re not sure what’s next.

So, let’s hear the Medical professionals such as the CDC, take into account COVID-19 task force and do what is necessary to help our communities through social distancing and not circulating the COVID-19 virus.