What is complaining? What’s the difference between complaining and dealing with problems?
We will be looking at how complaining influences our mental, physical and spiritual body. The word complaining means “expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.”
Addressing issues is by no means complaining because its objective is for change and the advancement of the person or situation. Not addressing issues is leading to complaining which does not bring about any change.
When an individual runs from conflict they are not dealing with issues. “Conflict is a door to intimacy.” This is a quotation from Dr. Gary Smalley. What this is representing to me is that when you are ready to deal with issues you will develop in intimacy in your relationships and within yourself. Running away or shutting down the complaint that is addressed for solution stunts our growth.
Complaining will result in more complaining until it becomes a way of life. Your brain will build the habit of expressing annoyances and your body will eventually weaken its defenses. Our immune system requires healthy things to build it up.
When we address a problem, we ought to do it to seek solutions for a problem. Address a problem by first validating the individual, then speak of the problem then validate again. That’s how you solve problems one problem at a time.
Do not overload the person with other issues when you’re dealing with a problem. Avoid using attack words such you never, you always these phrases just put the person on defense. Be teachable and willing to admit when wrong.
Complaining can be communicated with people or with yourself. Humans have a conversation with themselves, when complaining becomes your go to way to express yourself it will cause harm to your brain, body and spirit. It can become routine because the brain will get use to the negativity and lean towards it. We must be mindful and alert to our self-talk.
Dr. T. Bradberry Ph.D. wrote an article called ‘How complaining rewires your brain for negativity.” He stated, “research from Stanford University has shown that complaining shrinks the hippocampus-area of the brain that’s critical to problem solving and intelligent thought. Damage to the hippocampus is scary, especially when you consider that it’s one of the primary brain areas destroyed by Alzheimer’s.”
He also stated in the article “when you complain your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol shifts you into fight or flight mode, directing oxygen, blood and energy away from everything but the systems that are essential to immediate survival.” “One effect of cortisol, for example, is to raise your blood pressure, and blood sugar so that you’ll be prepared to either escape or defend yourself. All the extra cortisol released by frequent complaining impairs your immune system and makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. It even makes the brain vulnerable to strokes.”
The bible tells us there is life and death in the power of the tongue. Apparently, science has proven it true. Use your tongue to speak life to yourself, circumstances and family.
Complaining can adversely affect us spiritually too. Tuesday, I liked a post which was stating a person’s perspective immediately I felt the Lords disapproval. In prayer I asked the Lord about it and He spoke to me Ephesians 4:3 “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” By my press button I was complaining because I agreed with a post even though I knew to refrain from it I broke the bond of peace for us in the unity of the spirit. I’m sharing my error so it can help someone else. I knew not to like it, but I did it anyways. So, I repented asked God to forgive me and He did. It is so important to follow the leading of the Spirit.
So how can you change if your complaining. First repent and ask God to forgive you. Start speaking life through gratitude. Be thankful and to express it with your words and actions. The minute you begin to think complaints or negativity say no to it and change your thoughts to truths by speaking the word of God to the problem.
Addressing an issue isn’t complaining its part of problem solving.