Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…

The way out

As we have entered the New Year of 2022 it is time to release the pain of yesterday. Grief, shame, and pain can hold onto us if not processed, healed, and released. Today is the day to process shame. Understanding what shame is and how to heal from it is essential to walking free from it.

What is Shame? “Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The shame I am writing about is also an internal feeling of being flawed, not good enough or worthless. This doesn’t mean it’s true it is just a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, worthless.

As so many know the pain of shame replays in your mind and heart. It recalls every aspect of the hurt or trauma and it will cause the wound to stay because it is within you, hidden in memory and as events happen in our lives shame internalizes it through the original filter of pain. Which then we are triggered in pain and back to the original hurt without realizing why this current event hurts so much.

Things that cause shame is all forms of abuse verbal, emotional or physical etc. Statements made that are unloving or humiliating may cause shame. When an individual hears they are no good, rotten, or worthless that will cause shame. When a person is told regularly negative words against their personhood or their skills etc. it will affect the way they see themselves.

Three different ways to deal with shame that we all need to recognize:

First way to deal with the shame, for some people they feel the pain but they do not want to deal with it. So, they repress it and run internally from it. But it does not mean the pain has gone away. It is just hidden in the body and subconscious. Unfortunately, it will surface but not always at the proper times or ways. Unresolved shame turns into rage.

Second way to deal with the shame, is act like it does not hurt you, your over it and said, “I forgive.”  This is like the first, but this is a conscious choice to pretend you are ok. ‘I’m ok’ that did not hurt me. But reality is it did bother you and you are lying to yourself. This comes back because it causes you internally to become hard and calculated, to form bitter judgements and opens us up to sickness physically or mentally.

Third way to deal with the shame is to allow yourself to release the hurt in a safe environment by processing the pain to come out. This opens you up to forgiveness towards the offender. If this shame has held on for years one may need to get free of the attached demonic oppression. This will release as you process forgiveness and renounce any bitterness etc. We do this by speaking the name of Jesus to the oppression. If you’re not able to do this on your own reach out for help. In Christ Jesus there is liberty to live a victorious life.

I pray that as you walk through the shame and pain you will sense God releasing you and healing your heart and mind from the torment of shame.

Why Forgiveness is a key? The Root of Shame

Three ways to keep your peace…

Peace

Why is keeping your peace so important? What does it mean to keep your peace? What robs you from peace? These are a few questions we can explore and learn from. I began writing this yesterday morning and I have been thinking about how to keep our peace since then.

What is peace? According to the dictionary Peace is, “freedom from disturbance, tranquility 2) a state or period in which there is no war, or a war has ended.”

Looking at peace from ‘freedom from disturbance’ can be said keeping your peace is not allowing the disturbances to get within your mind and heart. Keeping your peace does not suggest that you just be quiet and never speak up. The first way in keeping your peace involves understanding how to live in a state of trusting in God and overcoming personal annoyances.

Trusting God is easier when we are not faced with personal annoyances or outcomes outside our control. Those are the circumstances that can cause us to lose our peace if we are not aware of it. I choose to speak the truth with the Word of God concerning situations. Find a scripture that you know and remind yourself of God’s care and concern for you. Speak it out loud so you can hear it this builds your faith as you go through the disturbances that try to rob your peace.

Tranquility means “the quality or state of being tranquil; calm.” Looking at peace as tranquility clearly is referring to being calm. Being calm under pressure is doable. The second way to keep your peace is submission to the God’s leading, He gives us the grace to handle all types of situations that we are faced with daily. Since we are submitted to Him, we are surrendering our aggravations to His word and ways. This helps us to learn how our reactions can be turned into responses. Once again God addresses issues and speaks up, but His ways are higher than ours He uses the right amount of pressure and directness.

The Hebrew word for peace is Shalom “this word means peace, harmony, wholeness, completeness, prosperity, welfare, and tranquility.” This peace has a deeper depth to the understanding of peace. God’s peace permeates our well being and produces wholeness in spirit, soul and body. Our minds and hearts are connected if we do not have peace of mind, we will not have peace in other areas of our being. Understanding of the word shalom helps us to realize that God is interested in all areas of our lives. The third way to help keep your peace is, understanding that your total well being is important. One aspect of our being can affect other aspects of spirit, soul and body. Remembering this helps one to keep their peace. Sometimes we lose peace because our lives get out of balance. Recognize physically, mentally or emotionally these three areas will affect our lives when they are out of balance. If you’re running on empty, it will finally catch up to you and your peace will be lost. We only get one life and body, so it is important to take care of it.  

For example, when my ankles are painful, I do what is necessary to help relieve the pain such as rest, elevate, ice or put a pain cream on them. When I was younger, I would push myself and make it worse but through age wisdom has taught me to notice and deal with the symptoms. I have learned it’s ok to rest, give myself permission to not over do, and then I stay peaceful.

There are many ways we can lose our peace but if we become aware of them, we can rely on God’s grace, and overcome them, and keep our peace.