What is anger? Why do we get angry? And how do we defuse our anger? These questions are important to understand in resolving anger.
First, anger is a feeling that signals that there is something wrong and fuels a reply. Anger is like a warning flag to let you know something is going on inside of you. It’s a secondary emotion because there is always something underneath anger.
What is underneath the anger pain/hurt, afraid/fear or frustration/frustrated. For example, when we’re hurt by a person our body replies with anger first. Knowing everything that is underneath the anger will help you to defuse and resolve the problem.
Hence the bible tells us to be ‘angry but sin not.’ Anger is not the sin but what you are doing with anger can lead to sin. How do you be angry and sin not?
The first thing is realizing what is beneath your anger is fueling it. How do you realize it asking yourself (self-talk) what is going on inside of you? When you answer it, you’ll be able to defuse the anger by resolving the problem.
The second step to resolving the anger is addressing the issue. Approach the problem with the person or situation. Unresolved issues tend to promote anger. It is better to confront in love then stew, brew and boil.
Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” This means address the problem right away the longer anger is undealt with the larger the problem will be.
The word anger means “a strong feeling of being upset or annoyed because of something wrong or bad. The feeling that makes someone want to hurt other people, to shout etc.; the feeling of being angry, anger”
Use your words to communicate what’s beneath your anger. Then release the individual who hurt or frustrated you by forgiving them.
If fear is beneath the anger start speaking the truth to yourself. Speaking truths improves our own internal process to settle down and the reality then is easier to view, hear and grasp. For example, your spouse bought something very expensive and you didn’t know about, and your finances are tight this would cause anger to trigger because fear would begin to make you think and feel your going have to do with out or you won’t have enough… Fear makes us think of future problems before it even happens so in reality it may not even happen.
If frustration is below your anger deal with the issue through placing boundaries. Dealing with a situation or person through setting boundaries so that you’re no longer taken advantage of.
Through a step-by-step method you can resolve your anger. Ask questions, address the issue of the anger and answer the problem through truths, problem solving or boundaries
Frustrations may sometimes be from unclear boundaries. Make sure that your boundaries are intact. People can’t runover your boundaries unless you let them. If they storm over them set tougher boundaries. Sometimes we step around our own boundaries and it causes frustration if that is the case forgive yourself.
To resolve anger ask yourself questions, address what is going on beneath the anger and respond to it with truth, set clear and concise boundaries where you start and stop.
Give yourself grace because anger is not a sin. Learning how to resolve anger helps to defuse it.
👍
Thanks for the thumbs up😊