Who Is The Keeper Of Your Heart?

So often we do not recognize how important protecting our hearts are. We may think that we are guarded but if it’s not through healthy boundaries it can be guarded by hardness, defense mechanisms, repressed hurts, or apathy. But to truly guard our hearts we need to be the keeper of the key to our lives. Why should we guard our hearts and what does it mean to guard your heart? What are a few ways to recognize if you are or are not guarding your heart?

Our hearts are where the issues of life flow so guarding them would be wise. The Bible says in, Proverbs 4:23 NIV “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Proverbs 4:23 NKJV “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” The heart and mind are connected so when we want to guard our hearts, we must also examine how our thinking is affecting us. What types of thoughts have you been dwelling on? Do you reign in your negative thoughts or give them free reign?

First way to guard your heart is to be aware of your thought life. If we choose to mediate on the word of God, it helps us in our thoughts. When we are facing situations that are beyond our control staying focused on what the Word of God says will produce peace. There is a scripture that states in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trust in You.”

Secondly, learn to recognize what steals your peace. If we learn to stop and look at the situation from a calmer place, we will recognize what we need to do. Guarding your heart isn’t about shutting down it’s about placing boundaries in your life. It is about knowing what you will allow and what you will not allow. Taking a good look at your valves, goals, and desires. Setting boundaries helps us know where we start and stop. Boundaries are necessary to guarding your heart.

I was speaking with a friend recently and said that “You’re the keeper of the Key for you!” So often we forget that we can let our yes be yes and our no be no, which is boundary making.

Keys stand for trust, responsibility, power, and authority in the scriptures but also in everyday life. We do not give our house key to just anyone it’s only those we trust. It is the same principle for our life and guarding our hearts. You are the keeper of the key to your heart and life. Set healthy boundaries and learn to say no and yes.

The door to my heart has a name and His name is Jesus, He has saved and healed my heart. The key for me is to remember “I am my beloved’s, and He is mine and His banner over me is His Love.”

I am always responsible to guard my heart from the things that would pull me away from His peace, joy, and love.

Boundaries help you to recognize the peace stealers, joy wrestlers, and love thieves.

What are your boundaries…

The Marvelous Mind & Know your thoughts!

Three steps to overcoming offense

Offenses come and go but what happens when we hold onto them? What is an offense and how do we get rid of them from ourselves?

The dictionary’s definition of offense is “offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standard or principles.” Similar words for offense are “indignation, irritation, exasperation, wrath, displeasure, dislike, opposition, taken personally.”

In my terms offense occur when one person or group says or does something that another person or group does not like or believe and it causes the other person or group to hurt, fear or frustration.

In this reaction the fight or flight signal will be triggered, and we have a decision to address the issue or ignore it. Is it a real or perceived hurt would be a good question to ask yourself? Not everything said or done is intentional sometimes we can take it personally when the intent was not a personal attack. When we are consistently in a defend my opinion mode, we may become offended quickly.

Here are three steps to overcome offenses:

First admit where you are at in your heart and mind. Then look at it with this question is this a real or perceived hurt, fear or frustration.

Secondly, process it with truths. Is it just my opinion that is disagreed with or am I really hurt? Begin to look at truths about the situation.

To me opinions are just opinions there not facts. They are not good or bad they are just opinions. Today opinions are portrayed as truths, but they are not. For example, you can look at the sky and say it is a blue sky, someone else says it not blue it looks grey to me those are opinions. Is either one right maybe not it might look like light blue to another person. That is how each person sees it, so it is their opinion.

Third stage forgiveness. When we hold onto offense it turns inward and breeds anger, resentment and bitterness. Which keeps unforgiveness alive in us. It changes us internally because the heart and mind were affected by inner turmoil.

It is amazing how freeing forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a choice of your will. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the pain it caused, and it gives God the opportunity to heal the hurt.

Four Helpful Relationship Tools

There is so much to say and so little time to say it. I’m more than halfway through MIP and it’s been a great challenge and exciting journey.

Here are some key elements you can add or fine tune in your relationship’s. We all need to implement these tools in our lives. Why do I write this, because I have learned good relationships take work, they do not just happen by themselves? It takes time, energy, and effort to keep a good relationship.

First tool is learning to listen without thinking about what you’re going to say or respond with. So often in conversation the person we are talking with thinks about what they are going to say or how this is happening to them that they miss an opportunity to really listen and empathize with you. If you want your relationships to last and be healthy work on your listening skills.

The best solution for this is to tell yourself I do not have to say what I think or feel, nor do I have to fix their problem they may just need me to listen. Healthy relationships work best when each person can say what they think or feel without condemnation, argumentation, or aggravation. Relationships are not meant to be competitions.

Second helpful tool is forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential tool for relationships. The little things do add up and become bigger issues when we don’t let go and forgive. Obviously, we are talking in general. Forgiveness is really for you not the other person you’re the one who is not allowing yourself to live in the light if we hold grudges, resentments and unforgiveness. In healthy relationships it is important to let the other person know you are sorry and will they forgive you.  

Third helpful tool in relationships is boundaries. Boundaries are helpful because it lets you know where you start and stop. Boundaries are helpful because then you & your spouse are aware of things that you will and will not do. It helps to keep the peace within your relationship’s.

Fourth tool walk in love. Real love is not an emotion it is a commitment to the relationship. Love is based in the wellbeing of another. God is love. His love for us was given in Christ Jesus dying for us so that we could receive forgiveness. In relationships of all kinds love is an essential tool. It’s the most important aspect of relationships. The only thing that last’s is love. My husband shows me love in all kinds of ways from his words to his actions. His commitment to me and our marriage makes me feel loved and secure. Love is an action word because real love laid down His life for us.

In our relationships we also can put aside our petty opinions, our need to be right, and begin to see how the other person feels and thinks in situations. By doing this you too will grow in your relationships. Healthy Relationships 101 The Power of Forgiveness

Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…

The way out

As we have entered the New Year of 2022 it is time to release the pain of yesterday. Grief, shame, and pain can hold onto us if not processed, healed, and released. Today is the day to process shame. Understanding what shame is and how to heal from it is essential to walking free from it.

What is Shame? “Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The shame I am writing about is also an internal feeling of being flawed, not good enough or worthless. This doesn’t mean it’s true it is just a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, worthless.

As so many know the pain of shame replays in your mind and heart. It recalls every aspect of the hurt or trauma and it will cause the wound to stay because it is within you, hidden in memory and as events happen in our lives shame internalizes it through the original filter of pain. Which then we are triggered in pain and back to the original hurt without realizing why this current event hurts so much.

Things that cause shame is all forms of abuse verbal, emotional or physical etc. Statements made that are unloving or humiliating may cause shame. When an individual hears they are no good, rotten, or worthless that will cause shame. When a person is told regularly negative words against their personhood or their skills etc. it will affect the way they see themselves.

Three different ways to deal with shame that we all need to recognize:

First way to deal with the shame, for some people they feel the pain but they do not want to deal with it. So, they repress it and run internally from it. But it does not mean the pain has gone away. It is just hidden in the body and subconscious. Unfortunately, it will surface but not always at the proper times or ways. Unresolved shame turns into rage.

Second way to deal with the shame, is act like it does not hurt you, your over it and said, “I forgive.”  This is like the first, but this is a conscious choice to pretend you are ok. ‘I’m ok’ that did not hurt me. But reality is it did bother you and you are lying to yourself. This comes back because it causes you internally to become hard and calculated, to form bitter judgements and opens us up to sickness physically or mentally.

Third way to deal with the shame is to allow yourself to release the hurt in a safe environment by processing the pain to come out. This opens you up to forgiveness towards the offender. If this shame has held on for years one may need to get free of the attached demonic oppression. This will release as you process forgiveness and renounce any bitterness etc. We do this by speaking the name of Jesus to the oppression. If you’re not able to do this on your own reach out for help. In Christ Jesus there is liberty to live a victorious life.

I pray that as you walk through the shame and pain you will sense God releasing you and healing your heart and mind from the torment of shame.

Why Forgiveness is a key? The Root of Shame

Innkeeper Hearts

“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Today is the day to call on the name of the Lord Jesus and open your heart to Him and receive eternal life.

Merry Christmas! Dr. Annette

What Are Three Ways to Defuse Anger

How do you defuse anger? I grew up in a setting where anger was not supposed to be allowed. Not sure how I got that impression, but I always thought anger was bad. When I got older and understood God’s word it says, ‘be angry and sin not.’ Which made me understand the anger is not an issue it is what we do with it that makes a problem.

I’m strong believer in speaking up and addressing issues. Throughout life I have come to realize the longer one holds onto a hurt it festers into something bigger. Anger lets us know something is wrong within us. When we feel the secondary emotion of anger it is a red flag saying something isn’t right within me. I am either hurt, fearful or frustrated about something and someone. If we ignore this flag, it does not go away it just becomes seething inside and will come out on someone or something.

So how do we defuse anger? First recognize that the anger is secondary it is an emotion to let you know something is wrong. Finding out what is going on inside of you by asking your self-questions. Questions like what is the real reason I am angry? Am I’m hurt by this… or afraid of this… will help you to address the underlying issue?

Secondly to defuse the anger is ‘deal with the issue.’ Repressing hurt does not solve a problem. Addressing an issue isn’t always easy but when done with good communications tools the person isn’t left hurting worse or wondering what that was about. Anger helps us to make a change too if we allow it. Sometimes we can procrastinate to make a change until we get angry and see the need for the change. Once again anger is an emotional red flag that something is wrong. Making changes can be difficult especially when they alter how you are living but for real change to take place, we usually must make tough decisions and act upon them.

Thirdly in defusing your anger it helps to speak truths to yourself about yourself. I speak the word of God to myself in situations it produces faith and builds my mind and heart on od things. God’s word has healthy loving statements to make to yourself. It produces life and peace in us.

When I get angry, I ask the Holy Spirit to show me what is really going on within me. Use the moment to produce change in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Annette

To My Readers,

To my readers,

Nov 30th 2021

I haven’t written in a while due to being busy studying and working hard to accomplish a goal. Although I’m not giving up this blog or webpage. I am realizing I owe my readers an explanation of my lack of writing.  I’m healthy, happy and excited to be going through CCOG ministerial internship program. It will be done May 2022. I appreciate your patience and prayers it’s hard work, but I love it.

Dr. Annette

Three things to know about Hope…

What is hope? How does having hope help us? What is your hope in? First what is hope according to the dictionary, “it is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” “A feeling of trust.”  Having hope helps us stay in expectancy it gives us a good feeling of a welcomed outcome. Hoping in a good outcome keeps one positive but what happens when your outcome does not happen the way you wanted? What can happen is despondency, despair or depression. But it doesn’t have to when you know where to place your hope it guards you from the D’s of life.  

In dealing with the loss of someone’s hope, it is important to look at what kind of hope they placed their trust in. At times we can place our hope in things and people that we have no control over. Life can change in an instant and hope can be dashed within seconds. Unfortunately, we cannot foresee every aspect that life brings. This is when we need a solid ground for our hope to be in. Putting hope into an outcome or a person is not as solid as we can imagine. But placing our hope in God is a solid foundation.

Putting your hope in God means your trusting Him with your outcome in situations and life. As we go through this life, we can be assured that God is faithful to His Word. The word of God tells us in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.” Even though we may experience hardships, trials and sorrow God promises to walk through those with us.

The first thing about hope is ask yourself, ‘what are you placing your hope in?’ Ask yourself is it realistic, is it a doable plan are you prepared to wait. Count the cost! All dreams, plans, or visions for future take effort and time. Therefore, give yourself a realistic plan to hold onto. I choose to place my plans in God’s hands. I want His plan for my life. I have learned through the years He usually places a desire on your heart and as you prayerfully press into it you will know His will and plan.

The second thing to know about hope, ‘there is a waiting period.’ If we have it at once, we do not need hope. But what you do as you wait makes an enormous difference in your life and disposition.  I choose to wait on God. I know He is faithful to His Word. He strengthens and gives us the grace to wait. His peace and joy will sustain you also as you wait. I choose to speak His Word aloud to myself at times because it produces faith to sustain a wait. The outcomes we want do not necessarily happen exactly the way we want but as your hope, trust and faith are placed in God He will produce in you a disposition that is maturing as you wait.

The third thing to know about hope is ‘God is our hope.’  Hebrews 6:19 “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, 20) where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.” This hope is a solid foundation in Jesus Christ sacrifice for our salvation. He bought our forgiveness. We are His Children when we repent and accept Jesus Christ and live in Him.

When hope wanes and the wait is long remind yourself God has you and is with you, because your hope in Him is the anchor of your soul. Your trust is placed in Him and not in yourself.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.”

Three Ways To Give Comfort

warm comfort

What brings you the most comfort? For some it’s a warm meal, a hug, a smile. Comfort comes in all kinds of ways, someone listening to us without advice, taking a stroll, watching a movie or just relaxing on the couch can bring comfort to some people. But when a person has an emotional hurt or is in distress comfort resembles a listening ear, a warm embrace or a kind word that recognizes the hurt.

The word comfort means “1) a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. 2) Or the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.”

How one receives comfort does not always look the same, but it produces the same feeling of relief.

Here are three ways to comfort someone that needs comforting. First, recognize their pain. Acknowledge you hear or see the pain. So often when we are hurting it is hard to express the pain therefore acknowledging the persons pain validates their suffering.

Secondly, do not try to fix it! Be a listener so that they feel empowered by your care for them. When we listen, people can speak without fear of judged or lectured. Real comfort is soothing not harsh or dogmatic.

Thirdly, ask them what they need. People know that they need comfort and what it is that they feel comforted by. Whether it is a hug, venting or snacks… Sometimes we need to say I forgive you or I’m sorry those words spoken in sincerity will bring comfort.

So next time you’re with someone who needs comfort be the listening ear or the warm embrace and allow yourself to be present for them.

How do you get Clarity Of Vision?

What is clarity of vision? How does one know they are seeing clearly? I had cataract surgery on my right eye one week ago but then the coming week the left eye. As I think about the difference in my right eye to my left, I realize cataracts slowly diminished my vision. It is so gradual that you do not realize it till its significant.

I don’t know why we get cataracts, but I do realize my clarity of sight was diminished. Which makes me think about life! How we will go along living with loss of vision and do not even realize it until something major happens?

I had the opportunity on Sunday evening to preach, I spoke about “It’s a matter of heart.” You can go to Facebooks ‘Central Church of God’ page in Portage Indiana to hear the message dated 10-3-21 While I sit here and type this, I also know that our hearts effect our vison. We can be so sure that something is one way and find out it is not because our heart was not in the right place. So today is the day to do a heart check.

The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 17:9-10 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it? 10) I the LORD search the heart. I test the mind, even to give every man according to the fruit of his doings.” Therefore, we cannot fully know what is in our hearts unless God reveals it.

Our hearts can deceive us to believe our motives are ok, our reasoning is right, and our opinions matter.

Your heart is the center of being, it consists of feeling, thoughts, beliefs, and personality. The Revell Bible Dictionary states, “Here is what a person is really like, in contrast to an external demeanor intended to impress others.” Which means it is where we see and hear through. How we see and hear is a matter of heart.

God wants to restore and revive hearts today. So that you can see and hear with clarity. He wants to heal wounded hearts. He wants to heal what you cannot see but what is affecting how you see.

The word restore in The Bible Dictionary means, “to renew, heal; make alive.” Some are going through the motions but have lost their first love, due to hurts that are unresolved. I believe God wants to show you what is in your heart to bring healing into your life. I heard the Holy Spirit say, “outside wounds are visible, inside wounds are not, they will manifest in many unhealthy ways, but the original wound needs My healing, My peace and restoration.” Today is the day to call on the Lord and receive healing and restoration in your heart. So that you can have clarity of vision.

Hebrews 4:12-13 “For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13) And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to Whom we must give accounts.” 

God’s word searches our hearts and separates the thoughts and intents/ motives. We must be willing to let the word of God and the Holy Spirit search our hearts. Through humility we learn our motives, through repentance we receive the change that is need. Today is your day for clarity of vision. Allow God to search your heart and heal what is needed and restore what was lost.

Blessings,

Dr. Annette

Do you need clarity? Blurred Vision…