Own, Express and Release

Own, Express and Release is one way in which I like to think about our emotions.  One cannot reject their emotions regarding circumstances, world events or relationships without it triggering future troubles.

What are our emotions?  They are defined as “A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationship with others.”  Similar words for emotions are “feelings, sentiment, sensation, reaction, response, passion, intensity, warmth…”   God gave us emotions for a good reason.  We don’t follow our feelings in decision making but a person must recognize their feelings to process circumstances.

What I mean by that declaration is one should recognize how you feel so you’re not be led by a feeling in your circumstances. But you’ll have the ability to process how your feeling to ensure that your decision making isn’t compromised.

First how do we Own it?  To me this means plainly ‘admit’ to how you are feeling sad, frustrated, scared, fearful, can all be emotions along with happy, joyful etc.  Anger is another feeling which is what some describe to as a secondary emotion because anger is a feeling that signals there is something going on within you such as hurt, fear or frustration.  Once you step back from the anger and have a look at how you’re really feeling you will get a more accurate picture of yourself.  So rather than being angry you’ll be able to admit what’s really going on inside of you.

Which then leads to expressing your emotions.  Expressing emotions can seem scary to someone who is not used to it.  Even if you’re not use to discussing your feelings now is the time to try.  Start with someone you feel safe to talk to.  Sometimes we just need people to listen to us.    

Here are a few ways to express emotions 1) talk about them with someone you trust 2) write out how your feeling 3) cry it out 4) use the emotion in a way that isn’t harmful to someone else. 5) Draw what your feeling…

When your expressing your feelings it ‘releases it’ from your mind and body.  Releasing it also is like letting it go.  It means you’ll be living in a way that those feelings are no longer fueling your day.

March 2020 was unsettling for all the people in America and around the world.  Other countries were infected by the virus before March but now each nation has been plagued by the Covid-19 virus.  It has altered our views and resources.  This remains unsettling times for everyone.  So yes, it’s ok to express your feelings and allow yourself time to mourn.  I recommend that you read my post ‘Grief Work.’

So that your able to comprehend your feelings currently.  Grief is a gift to go from loss to healing.  Our eldest granddaughter is a senior in High School and as of this day there has been no news about graduation or prom etc.  All graduating grades have students in limbo, so we need to let them grieve.

People all around the world have lost loved ones alone which is an awful situation and it makes mourning even harder.  These people and families need time to heal still after the Covid-19 virus is gone. 

I’m writing this to tell you that if your emotions are all over begin to own it as well as express them in healthy ways.  This will help you to release pressure and an assurance that your able to cope throughout these unsettling times.

Own, Express and Release

Fearful or Fearless…

In this season of everyone’s life fear has tried to grip the hearts of many people.  A healthy fear gives you wisdom during the Covid-19 pandemic to social distance, wash your hands for 20 seconds and be mindful when you must go the store for supplies.

Being fearful may be causing you to stay in a stressed manner.  Which then may cause your body’s immune system be compromised.  Anxiety and worry constitute a form of fear.  We cannot afford to allow our minds to dwell on the worries because it only causes you to remain focused on it.  It is vital to speak the truth to yourself.

Like for example ‘I have faith God will bring me through this.’  Find a scripture which speaks to you and recite the scripture to build your faith.  We must speak the Word of God to build our faith. 

“Perfect love casts out fear.”  What does it mean?  This means to have a better understanding of the love God has for you will push out any fears of what has been happening or what will happen.  This isn’t naive this is about the guarantee in who God is.

Fearless means that you’re not dwelling on terror or allowing yourself to be controlled by fear.  Fearless means your living in wisdom but not arrogance.  Your deeds are courageous, confident and bold.

Yesterday I was reading in Psalm 32:7 it states, “You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.”  It doesn’t say he takes you out of the trouble but he ‘preserves’ you from the trouble.  Preserve according to Webster’s Dictionary means, “to keep safe from injury, harm or destruction; protect. Keep uphold, save, sustain.” 

We can be fearless in a time of uncertainty with out being arrogant.  I read a Facebook quote that said “I trust God, but I wear my seatbelt…”  Trusting God doesn’t mean we arrogantly touch stuff and act foolish.  That is just goofy. 

I was speaking with my friend about this scripture and as I was talking, I sensed the anointing that God is creating over us through songs of deliverance.  Sometimes you’ll wake up with a song on your heart, that is God pronouncing over you through songs of deliverance.  When God speaks, he creates.  He creates over you with songs of deliverance.

Zephaniah 3:17(NLT) “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Allow the songs to birth courage and confidence to trust Almighty God in this uncertain time.  Choose being fearless over fearful.

Walk in peace…

While this is a time of uncertainty we yet can walk and live in peace with each other.  Psalm 31:14 states, “Depart from evil and do good, Seek peace and pursue it.”

But now greater than ever we need to give one another grace.  Fear is attempting to grip our cherished one’s hearts.  Though you may not be scared it doesn’t mean some are not.

Trying to find the blame right now just leads to tension.  It is a time to pursue peace within our homes and lives.  Each person in the World has been adversely affected by Covid-19 virus in one way or the other.  The best action is maintaining your peace and pursuing peace.

The word ‘pursue’ in Strong’s Hebrew Dictionary means “to run after” “follow after” in the Ps 34:14 passage and ‘seek’ in this passage means “to tread or frequent, usually to follow (for pursuit or search) for impl. To seek or ask, care for diligently.”

The Strong’s Hebrew Dictionary for the word ‘peace’ in this passage means “Shalom i.e. fig. safe, well, happy, friendly, also (abstr) welfare, ie health, prosperity, peace favor.”  Peace has many sides to it.  How fitting that peace in this passage means safe, well, happy, and friendly.

The reason we want to pursue and seek after peace is since it can easily be lost.  The sensing of God’s peace can stay with us every moment of each day.  The peace we are walking in with each other is being tested at this moment.  Most people will not be used to being restricted to their homes; they go continuously this is going to cause more stress in conjunction with the uncertainty we are currently experiencing in the World today.

So how can we walk, pursue and seek peace.  Most importantly, renew your faith by the word of God.  Talk to God and receive his peace ask for grace to be restricted to your homes in this unsettling time.

Secondly, give others in your own home forgiveness.  If they are on your nerves go and do something in a separate room if necessary.  Grab ahold of the ‘we are in this together mindset.’  Give one another space to make any mistakes to say things that do not make sense you will be able to defuse tension with grace and laughter.  Learn to communicate with one another through asking what had been meant and listening to hear not to talk.

Laughter is a gift it does our hearts and minds good.  Start discovering humor inside your situations and add smiling at your homes and pursue and search after peace.

If at the present time you’re having a difficult time with the social distancing speak the truth towards yourself this is just a short time in your life, and it is going to over, life is going to go back to the way it was.

Peace in the storm…

Today is a period in our history where nearly all nations have been affected by the corona virus.  How can we keep our peace and continue to be vigilant in all our social distancing?

One way to do this is to trust Almighty God for the responses to our issues.  I once heard Joyce Meyer say, “Trust requires unanswered questions.”  Basically, we’re all in a wait-and-see mode until this is over and life has returned to the normal daily routine.  I personally trust God for every day through his word and peace.  I have been living by this ‘if you do not have peace don’t do it’.  In Philippines the fourth chapter is tells us His peace will surpass our understanding.  So, don’t waste too much time trying to figure out what will never get to know.

Secondly, now the time has come to get in touch with the people in your house through conversations, board games, e-learning, free virtual tours of museums, card games, dice games, electronic games.  Have meals together at the table and then let the kids have the chance to discuss their thoughts and worries if necessary.

Thirdly, practice patience with your household members.  Give each other grace because we are all faced with this situation.  Tempers could get ruffled easier in accordance with the anxiety give each other mercy.  Provide each other with the space needed.  Pray as a family, practice stress reducing breathing, get exercise at home or get outside when the weather allows.  It’s a great time to do the spring-cleaning chores make up a list check it off at the same time as you get it done.

Before this virus lives as usual had the meme of people simply looking at their phones.  Now is the moment to change it to people connecting via conversations and family activities at home.

If your single-and are staying alone at home call someone, reach others via emails, texting, social media.  Play solitaire games, download mind games, do a puzzle, watch a movie.  While it may seem like your all alone to recall the world is going all through this together.

If Jesus can sleep through a substantial storm in a vessel filling with the waves so can we through the Covid-19 storm.  This post has been written to encourage everyone of us we are in this together even though we are in our own homes.  All around the globe we are fighting against the same thing.  May you sense God’s peace in this storm.  My heart and the prayers go out to the people who have lost their loved ones due to this terrible virus.   

The COVID-19 Tactic

The COVID-19 tactic is ‘social distancing.’ Are you reacting with faith and obedience or fear?

This is the scripture I read today in Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

And this verse of scripture has been on my heart for a few days Romans 13:1-2 “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities.  For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2)Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.”

Today March 15, 2020 we chose to remain at home from the church building.  I thank God for his knowledge to observe the “social distancing” are President, the CDC and health care community has advised.

I have been reading some goofy stuff on Facebook relating to the Covid-19 pandemic and it concerns me.

People who believe this is a hoax are not taking the fatalities and sickness to be serious and they are propagating lies.  It’s not a hoax our President and his team wouldn’t make a request for the U.S. citizens to stay at home, close schools etc. if the situation wasn’t serious.

I’ve also heard political commentary on this as though their own opinion was fact founded and it’s not.  Stop blaming the press for the virus maybe they did spread fear, but at the same time they didn’t make a virus.

I’ve also noticed jokes some hilarious particularly about the toilet paper stockpiling and some straightforward disturbing.

I’ve also noticed panic grip the minds of individuals to the point of not worried if they purchase everything and nobody else gets the supplies they require.  Panic is fear and worry gripping the soul into extreme behaviors.

My spouse and I have been prepared, praying and then we will be using the wisdom of God to stay at home.  Please understand that this is not a hoax, wash your hands and maintain some distance to ensure that you don’t become sick.  And if your immune system is strong you don’t transmit the virus to others.

Schools are closed for a reason not a hoax.  It is a novel virus which means that it’s a new virus, there is currently not a vaccine and they’re not sure what’s next. 

So, let’s hear the Medical professionals such as the CDC, take into account COVID-19 task force and do what is necessary to help our communities through social distancing and not circulating the COVID-19 virus.

Chronic Pain…

What is Chronic pain and how do you live with it?  In my own phrase chronic discomfort is pain and distress in a constant state.  As stated by google chronic pain is, “persistent pain that lasts weeks to years.”  The reality is that whenever you are suffering in chronic pain or a disease it remains stressful.

How can somebody with chronic pain handle it?  The response is not considered to be a single-step fix.  What does work for one individual’s pain might not work for others as well.  I am under no circumstances a medical doctor therefore I do not have all the answers, and neither can I diagnosis someone, but I may share from my own personal experience with chronic pain whatever is working for me.

I make it first by faith and God’s strength.  February turned out to be a month packed with extreme pain.  My left-ankle that was replaced Aug 20th, 2019 developed tendonitis and my right- ankle the one that the bone is now deteriorated has currently become deteriorated into the soft tissue in the foot as well, therefore the cortisone injections will no longer be an alternative for pain management.  Being born with several congenital abnormalities has been a challenge along with pain throughout my life.

But I place my trust in God I know he never leaves me nor forsakes me and somehow, he has provided me with the ability to thrive mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Trusting God gives me strength and grace to face each day knowing I’m not alone.  He also gives me wisdom to know when to rest, use ice or take medicine.  Pain can affect your thoughts, emotions and outlook on life if you let it.

I choose to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain.  I refuse to feel sorry for myself.  Self-pity only makes it hurt worse because you become focused on the negative and the pain increases it seems.  And sometimes tears do help to relive the stress so long as we don’t remain in it.  Chronic pain may vary in degrees of pain one-day hurts you realize that it’s there, however you shelve this ache to force through. Other days its incapacitating pain and cannot be pressed through to accomplish, so you get some rest.

Some of the different ways to deal with pain are prayer, mediation, rest, relying on the grace of God, support systems of family, friends and support groups, medication, exercise, physical therapy, massages, electrical stimulation, chiropractic care, stress management, counseling, acupuncture, surgery, dietary changes etc.  This is just a small list of ways to help deal with chronic pain they don’t elevate all the pain, but they help to cope with it. 

I prefer to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain, I also select the option to activate my will to focus on reaching out to others through phone calls and text and now blogging.  I’m not able to move around like I’m use to for now, but I do know God’s with me and can give me opportunities to show His love right where I’m at.  If your feeling that you no longer have a chance to do something because of your chronic pain I can assure you when you trust God, he’ll provide you with opportunities no matter where you are too.

Ashes in our lives…

What are the ashes in our life?  They’re the things that we consider as a failure, bad, very hard and losses.  Including rejections, abuse, hurts, pain and sufferings.  Can be in any form of abuse in the emotional, verbal, physically, financial, or sexual etc.  Can also be times of neglect, abandonment, shamed.  Anything which tears you down to and it makes you feel, or you think bad about yourself or makes you think your crazy is a form of abuse.  Ashes could also be accidental tragedy, natural catastrophes or unjust attacks.

Ashes are something we consider loss.  But God picks up the ashes we’ve experienced in our life and leads us out and makes us beautiful.  Beauty is inner healing which flows out for others and self.

The term “Beauty for Ashes” is found in the Bible in Isaiah 61: Verse 3 “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

It does not happen overnight some things do take time but if you’ve been experiencing loss or abuse your heart can be healed through God.  This does not necessarily mean you will forget but it does mean He heals an inner heart of pain and suffering.  He replaces it with restorative love.  So, when you remember the heart doesn’t shut you down in more pain.

When someone has been abused, discarded and hurt it takes some time to heal, think straight and be restored.  From my post ‘Grief Work’ it explains the amount of emotions and how it is not a systemic process.  Ashes in our lives will produce grief. 

Ashes in our lives are about how God uses the things we have gone through once we let him work in our lives and he leads us through healed and restored.  He picks up the ashes and makes something beautiful in our lives.

 A support group that I lead was called beauty for ashes. It’s based on this truth ‘that little girls need affection, affirmation and acceptance from their dads.”  Unless they get it when their young, unmet needs longs for that and the girl aims to fill unmet needs in unhealthy ways.  I am going to say boys also need affirmations, acceptance and affection from their moms.  They will also fill their unmet needs in unhealthy ways.  Those three areas will cause deficiency within the individual and as an adult their unmet needs and coping abilities will be underdeveloped.  Both parents should be affirming, accepting and affectionate. 

Addictions can begin by attempting to fill an unmet need that the pain, neglect, or abuse put there.  We’re all designed with a need to feel loved, wanted and accepted plus we humans need food and shelter.  Those needs refused or is out of balance put a person in an unhealthy pattern of thinking.  

Also, real love doesn’t compel you to be anything you are not, and it does not make you responsible for them.

Most of the time for you to be healed means ‘walking through the pain’ by viewing and releasing thru the expression of the hurt.  Processing grief with truths and walking in the forgiveness about it after it has been worked through, the ache of things we go through must be let out.  Pain which is repressed or denied just stays gnawing like a sore.  Forgiveness isn’t about the offender or abuser.  It is for you to be free of the pain, hurt, and shame.  Forgiveness will set you free to be whole and healthy.

How exactly does God take the ash and transform them into something beautiful?  In Isaiah 61:1-3 is all about the good news of salvation.  This prophecy was fulfilled instantly when Christ Jesus walked the ground and died for our sins.  It is also declaring a promise of comfort and console for those who mourn, to give them beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning, garment of praise for heaviness…  Therefore, as this describes how God gives us beauty for ashes you will be able to lean on him to guide you through the hard, extreme and devasting situations as he will give you inner healing, grace and strength (beauty) for the ashes of life.

Grief Work…

There is a concept called ‘grief work.’  What is sorrow and the importance of doing your grief work?

Grief can begin as a feeling of numbness, and shock almost as if it’s not real at first, and subsequently deep sadness as you are experiencing a major loss.  Losses could be a death of a person, animal, relationships or life changing injuries are not limited to these but also to the loss of a career, home etc.

How a person experiences a great loss another might not experience it the same way.  Grief covers many different emotions.  A loss may be experienced by stages of grief but not in a systematic way.  Grief includes denial, bargaining, hurt/deep sadness-depression, anger, acceptance/creating a new way to live life.

How are we going to get through grief?  For every one of us it is different, tears ease the pressure of sadness, journaling helps you to put your thoughts on the paper and to see what you are thinking and it is the place to see any impractical thoughts.  Talking about and expressing yourself is helping to release the inner pressures of grief.

When we are experiencing a major loss its useful to voice your thoughts and feelings.  I personally think grieving is the gift to move from the loss to acceptance.   

What I mean by this statement is I’ve noticed people celebrate a person’s life without allowing sadness.  To me this is not a healthy way for us to express grief.  Because the individual must repress their grief and put on a happy face.

Funerals are one way to express our grief and time to honor the loved one.  Not letting yourself grieve only will keep you stuck in grief.

Unresolved grief will linger throughout your lifetime if it’s not been dealt with.  Therefore, repressing grief causes health issues physically and psychologically.   Keeping you locked into the past and pain.  If a person is in this condition, there is a way out.  Seek out a Therapist/Counselor.  Expressing feelings or thoughts to a person that understands the full spectrum of grief will help a person do their ‘grief work’ and someday be free from grief.

Grief is a gift from God to help deal with major losses.  But it’s not supposed to be a life sentence you can walk through to the other side of grief.

Losses come in many sizes from small to big from the simple to the complex.  Still everything in our sorrows and triumphs we must be honest with ourselves, realistic in all our expressions and patience with our grief process.

Family and friends may be a great source for support.  Together with support groups, Churches and talking to a counselor.  Seek help if you feel stuck in your grief.

I had to when I lost my mom in 99’ I couldn’t wrap my mind around letting her go, a wise counselor led me through the grief and helped me to see I wasn’t letting her go she’ll always be my mom its just our relationship has changed.  She used this phrase ‘it’s like rearranging your furniture its still your furniture its just in a different place.  My mom will always be my mom she’s just in a different place now.’  Which helped me process where I had just gotten stuck in grief.  Sounds easy as I type this, but it wasn’t for me in that moment I was stuck and needed help in my grief.

If you’re grieving alone seek help that’s the best way to get through to the opposite side of grief. 

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”

Little Things Matter…

I thought about this yesterday.  The little things do matter in life.  Smiling, embrace or a handshake could make a big difference.  Somebody who needs a nice smile affects their outlook on their day.  Making you feel noticed is to be a part of the world around you.  Humans need to interact to thrive.  Even introverts need a friend at times.

We all must feel that we belong.  Whether you are feeling, think or see it we each need it.  Adding gratitude means lot, this helps to validate a person.  Praise, smiling calls or text can mean the world to someone.

Sometimes people think that they aren’t effective or doing much good, but the fact is that we are effective in our interactions with people wherever we go through kindness and respect.  One simple smile and hello or opening the door are the small things that cost us nothing except are big in one’s life when you’re having a bad day.

Yesterday after I read this passage in the Bible, I had the thought “the little things do matter.”  Matthew 10:42 “And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.”  Jesus was saying the little things do matter.

Each one of us can touch a heart of someone around us by small acts of kindness.  Nothing is to small your acts of kindness do matter.

How to respond to the weary…

First what does the word weary mean?  It means “very tired or fatigued.  Fatigued, tired, weary, jaded, exhausted washed out.”

As I was reading scripture and praying today I read in, Isaiah 50:4 “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary,…”  Since this passage of Scripture is speaking about Jesus it is safe to say.  What would Jesus say to the weary?

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Other versions say labored and heavy laden. Verse 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. 30)For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  

When we think of people being weary, we realize that they are tired, exhausted or wear down perhaps even sadden.  I believe those who are weary need others to be like Jesus and carry their burdens with prayer and encouragement.  Words of compassion and rest.

God comforts the weary he possesses true compassion for people.  His words talk life into the weary person.  He does not condemn them or lecture them about what they need to do.  He comforts them first and so should we.

So, being compassionate to the weary person is to say let them talk and to express their emotions.  To be compassionate you must be able to relate to their suffering.

If I taught a class to young counselors, I would want to make them imagine people’s pain so they can relate to it.  But that relate to someone’s pain doesn’t mean you bring up your pain.  We all have gone through pain in different ways.  If you’ve never lived with chronic pain it would be difficult to understand the tension and stress it puts on your physical body plus emotional or psychological aspect of it.  These are the things to be genuinely aware of to be empathetic to someone, that way you are going to be able to relate with compassion.

Being compassionate doesn’t mean you let them know what to do or you should be doing…  It is important to build the weary person up through your prayers and pray God strengthens them.

Then once their stronger and ask for advice then give your thoughts on what works for you or what God has said etc.

I want to love as Jesus not as a pharisee.  A pharisee does not have any compassion.  They followed rules of must and laws.  Jesus came to strengthen and free the captives.  He also came to heal and restore; he loves building up the wounded not putting them out. Isaiah 42:3 “A bruised reed he will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench…”

Secondly ask God to make you empathetic and compassionate like Jesus.  Because it was Jesus compassion which brought healing.  The bible says He was moved with compassion and people were healed.  

Mt 14:14 “And when Jesus went out, He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them and healed their sick.”  Mt 20:34 “So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes.  And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.”

So, we can see Jesus’ first reaction is compassion and that’s what people feel when offering a listening ear, help, kind words, prayer and give loving support.

Teach or corrective instruction words just wound the weary, hurting and downtrodden.  You cannot be an effective listener or the hands of Jesus if you cannot empathize with the weary, hurting or downtrodden.

Corrected or instruct in private, love on the individual through it, don’t dump on and go.  God will go through it with us and we could go through it with our family and friends through the compassion and grace of God.

“My heart is for you says the Lord.”  That is what the weary need to hear his compassion.