Grief Work…

There is a concept called ‘grief work.’  What is sorrow and the importance of doing your grief work?

Grief can begin as a feeling of numbness, and shock almost as if it’s not real at first, and subsequently deep sadness as you are experiencing a major loss.  Losses could be a death of a person, animal, relationships or life changing injuries are not limited to these but also to the loss of a career, home etc.

How a person experiences a great loss another might not experience it the same way.  Grief covers many different emotions.  A loss may be experienced by stages of grief but not in a systematic way.  Grief includes denial, bargaining, hurt/deep sadness-depression, anger, acceptance/creating a new way to live life.

How are we going to get through grief?  For every one of us it is different, tears ease the pressure of sadness, journaling helps you to put your thoughts on the paper and to see what you are thinking and it is the place to see any impractical thoughts.  Talking about and expressing yourself is helping to release the inner pressures of grief.

When we are experiencing a major loss its useful to voice your thoughts and feelings.  I personally think grieving is the gift to move from the loss to acceptance.   

What I mean by this statement is I’ve noticed people celebrate a person’s life without allowing sadness.  To me this is not a healthy way for us to express grief.  Because the individual must repress their grief and put on a happy face.

Funerals are one way to express our grief and time to honor the loved one.  Not letting yourself grieve only will keep you stuck in grief.

Unresolved grief will linger throughout your lifetime if it’s not been dealt with.  Therefore, repressing grief causes health issues physically and psychologically.   Keeping you locked into the past and pain.  If a person is in this condition, there is a way out.  Seek out a Therapist/Counselor.  Expressing feelings or thoughts to a person that understands the full spectrum of grief will help a person do their ‘grief work’ and someday be free from grief.

Grief is a gift from God to help deal with major losses.  But it’s not supposed to be a life sentence you can walk through to the other side of grief.

Losses come in many sizes from small to big from the simple to the complex.  Still everything in our sorrows and triumphs we must be honest with ourselves, realistic in all our expressions and patience with our grief process.

Family and friends may be a great source for support.  Together with support groups, Churches and talking to a counselor.  Seek help if you feel stuck in your grief.

I had to when I lost my mom in 99’ I couldn’t wrap my mind around letting her go, a wise counselor led me through the grief and helped me to see I wasn’t letting her go she’ll always be my mom its just our relationship has changed.  She used this phrase ‘it’s like rearranging your furniture its still your furniture its just in a different place.  My mom will always be my mom she’s just in a different place now.’  Which helped me process where I had just gotten stuck in grief.  Sounds easy as I type this, but it wasn’t for me in that moment I was stuck and needed help in my grief.

If you’re grieving alone seek help that’s the best way to get through to the opposite side of grief. 

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”