There are all kinds of friendships acquaintances, causal friends, childhood friends, lifelong friends, good friends and best friends. All in all, people who are friends.
What is a friend? My words to describe a friend is one who is friendly, loyal, trustworthy, caring, kindhearted, dependable, forgiving and willing to tell you if their upset about something you said or did that upset them or hurt their feelings, because it’s usually not intentional.
The dictionary states, “friend is a person who one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affections, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.” Companions
A friend is a person who speaks truth to you. The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron.” A friend is someone that has some interests like you. A friend cheers you on as you also cheer them on. Basically, they are happy with and for you when you succeed. You connect with them in some ways. A friend sticks close by which means to me in life you can call your friend and know they’re there for you and you are there for them.
They don’t punish you if they don’t like something you said or did. They also don’t withhold their friendship either. People are people we all make mistakes. Friendships that are healthy are devoid of jealousy, hatred or revenge.
Yes, even in healthy friendships someone’s feelings can get hurt but you go to the person and you tell them and give them a chance to say their sorry. Unhealthy friendships are jealous, envious or abusive.
Here’s two quotes I found on goggle about friends author’s are unknown. “A true friend is someone who has your back when things are going wrong in your life. A true friend is someone who keeps their promises, and makes you want to keep yours…” “A friend is a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person. A person who is not an enemy friend or foe.”
Unhealthy friendships can have symptoms of jealous, envious or abusive. Lying, untrustworthiness and unreliable. Possessiveness, greed and selfishness. These unhealthy traits cause relational problems. When you can’t be happy for someone’s good fortune or success it is unhealthy.
So how do you deal with an unhealthy friendship?
First, you must recognize it is their issue.
Second, if its persistent and continuous you will need too “let go” or “walk away.”
Third, forgive them but forgiveness doesn’t mean you are too stay in a relationship with a person who habitually is jealous, angry or does revengeful ways toward you.
Even though as a Christian I know and love my friends I also know I can’t fix or heal anyone only God can. When to end a friendship isn’t easy but if your going to do what God called you to do sometimes it requires hard decision making.
When a relationship continues after a hurt and its forgiven it stays forgiven but if its repetitive one must make a boundary. A boundary is where you start and stop.
Sometimes walking away or letting go is necessary but isn’t always easy. It’s most beneficial to your health to let go and continue in your life and walk with Jesus.
Since Jesus is our example and he didn’t beg and pled with them then neither should we. I am not talking about one instance of offence; I am talking about years of investment with no change. You’re only wasting your breath, time and emotions.
It’s time to let go and move on.