My Lifes Journey through 2023-24

scenic view of the forest during sunrise

On Jan 26th, 2023, I was in an accident. I had my head turned while my friend was driving.  We were hit from behind in a roundabout. I developed whiplash. I had pain and tightness in my neck & back of my head. Went through four months of physical therapy. Which is why I stopped writing. Looking down was very painful.


That started off the year, thankfully, pt helped, and God used that experience to teach me the value of rest. Then, at the end of May, I started looking at homes on Zillow in a different area. Being on staff at church and my husband on the worship team, it made sense to move, plus we both wanted to be closer to our friends & church.


We found a home that met the requirements we talked about. We called our realtor, who was wonderful in helping us through the process. Although it took two months to get an offer on our house. We finally got a cash offer with a closing in three weeks. Our friends helped us pack and move an entire house. Approximately 3000sq ft home into a 1520 sq ft with a basement. There was no time to decide what to give or throw away, but God was with us the whole way with all the stress of ups & downs of selling and moving a home. We moved in August 2023.

I had been feeling tired more than I ever have. My theory has always been pushing through no matter how you feel. It has worked for me up until this year.
Although I’ve lived with pain all my life, this year felt different. I felt exhausted, which is not me. I blamed it on packing & moving, menopause & my thyroid. In May, before the move, I had a biopsy on a mole come back basal cell, but with moving, I put the surgery off until October 11th. The basal tumor was on my chest they removed it and sent it off to pathology. After two weeks of stitches and on the removal day, I was told pathology found something, and they needed to do more smears. Oh, ok. No big deal. I have had basal cell cancer three times now, so it wasn’t a big deal.

I was supposed to get a mammogram in May, too, but I put it off. I have been putting it off for four years. So, since my pathology report was taking time, I thought it was ok to get your mammogram & bone density done. So, my appointment was Nov. 7th Mammogram came back enlarged left lymph nodes, so they scheduled an ultrasound, no big deal I have had that before.
Ultrasound showed 4 suspicious malignancy meaning (very suspicious). As the radiologist was talking, I let her know I was waiting for the pathology report on the basal tumor removed. They scheduled a lymph node biopsy for Nov 30th. The next day after the ultrasound, I contacted the dermatologist, Dr., who removed the small tumor. It came back as lymphoma but due to the small amount of tissue they could not determine what type.

Being clueless I said so that means then it is not cancer. But I was wrong. It is cancer. Two days later, I got a call from the skin Dr asking me to please make an appointment with a hematologist/oncologist. I was going to wait but my daughter who works for my family practitioner also was insistent.
The oncologist office would have seen me on Nov 20th but I wanted to wait till the biopsy was done.

Nov 30th, I had the left lymph node biopsy they took 4 biopsy’s and left a sand size titanium marker. My appointment with Dr. S was Dec 4th. My daughter didn’t go because we didn’t think he would have any reports. But he did he had contacted the pathologist who gave him a preliminary report. Yes, it is a low-grade (slow growing) lymphoma B-cell.
Dr S. ordered a Pet-scan, which was Dec 11th.

The pet scan showed it in my neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis.
My appointment with Dr. S was scheduled for the 18th, but I called, and they saw me on the 13th. The cancer is Lymphoplasmacytic Lymphoma called Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia. He said it was stage 3b. He ordered a 24-hour urine test and a bone marrow biopsy, which was on January 8th, 2024.

The bone marrow biopsy came back with either marginal zone lymphoma or lymphoplasmacytic lymphoma. The Dr believes it is Lymphoplasmacytic lymphoma because my biopsy from the lymph node had enough tissue to get a specific diagnosis. My treatment is Bendka and Rituxan. Two times every four weeks for six months. But first a Port Cath was put in on Jan 31st and my first treatments were Tuesday Feb 6th and 7th. Today I am doing well just a few side effects. I have a great support system of family, friends and Church.

I know God will bring me through this and heal my blood & lymph nodes from cancer. Thankfully, it is not in my organs. With all that said I would encourage you to trust God in whatever situation you are walking through. I believe in miracles and healing. I know He promises in His word Isaiah 43 tells me he will get me through to the other side. We do not always know all the answers of why, but we can learn to trust God to provide and help us through whatever it is we face.

Since I started this post in Jan it is now July 2024 and God brought me through treatments I ended treatment the beginning of May. Thankfully, I only had to do 4 months of treatment to be in remission.  Trusting God through it all.

How to recognize toxic positivity? by Laura Herrera

unrecognizable woman covered with plastic bag

I went through two debilitating chronic diseases for 11 years. During this time there were 17 trips to the ER. I had many failed treatments, went through 10 doctors, had multiple failed surgeries and spent thousands of dollars to get help. I finally found a specialist in New York, states away who rooted out the diseases in two surgeries. As you can imagine I went through an awfully long journey. During this I was often met with hurtful toxic positivity from people. At times, my situation was compared to others because no one could understand what I was going through and thought that comparing stories would help me. I could go on and on with the hurtful phrases I received. Unfortunately, most of them were from well-meaning but misguided Christians. I did not know how to stand up for myself, I felt alone and voiceless. There were many times I went to the bathroom to cry after someone said something hurtful. I would turn inwards and would battle hope. Toxic positivity hurt my relationships with people and with God. I found it hard to open up to others and as a defense mechanism. I in turn carried not only the weight of physical pain, but also emotional pain as well. I now see how that spilled over into my relationship with God as well. I didn’t feel that I could open up to Him for a very long time. I didn’t feel as though what I was going through mattered to Him. 

As Christians we are to build each other up and not tear each other down.

Ephesians 4:2With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

This article is to build you up so that you can recognize toxic positivity.

You may have used toxic positivity and may not realize it. You might use it towards yourself and may not realize it either.  This article is to help you recognize the pattern from others or from yourself.

Now someone doesn’t have to only go through something medical to be on the receiving end of toxic positivity. In our everyday lives we go through pain, suffering or loss. When met with hurtful phrases of any kind no matter what we are going through- it can cause even further pain or damage in our lives.

What is toxic positivity:

Toxic positivity is shaming in disguise. It covers and stifles the vulnerability one shares with another or with themselves and in turn, can cause one to believe that their needs and what they are going through are not worthy to be heard or helped in any manner. It also dispels hope. 

Have you ever experienced a time when you’ve opened up to someone about something personal that you are going through only to be met with hurtful words? Such as- Well, at least you do not have it as bad as….  It could be worse…. It will all be fine… Don’t worry about it…. Always look on the bright side… You’ll get over it… Stay positive…. Everything happens for a reason…

One of my most disliked common expression is, “It could be worse.” Who decides on what makes up ‘as the worst suffering or loss as the worst possible situation? It’s a never-ending ladder to reach the top of who earns the top spot in the worst possible situation. Whatever we are going through we all have needs concerning our situations.  

The damaging power it has:

Again, toxic positivity is shaming in disguise. Shame makes us look inward and think what is wrong with me. Shame also screams I am not worthy. It says, no one really cares.

We don’t have to let someone say, “You are not good enough.” – We don’t have to let others say what we are going through is not good enough to be heard or helped.  Nor should we be compared to what someone else is going through. This can make us feel voiceless and hopeless.

When we are either met with toxic positivity from others or given towards ourselves, we can end up battling in our minds for the right to be heard by people and by God. Do I have the right to be heard? Is my pain big enough to be empathized with by others and by God? Do I have the right to be helped?

When we stifle our own needs and think towards ourselves, “I should just be positive” we harm ourselves. What if we really needed time to process and heal through something emotionally and decided not to since we didn’t allow ourselves to check-in with ourselves? What if we really needed to see a doctor, but we kept telling ourselves, “I’m ok, it’ll get better.”? Can you see, how damage can be done in both scenarios? 

 

Words have power:

There’s life and death in the power of the tongue.

Proverbs 18:21 NIV “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Again, we have the power to uplift or tear one another down and ourselves.

Ask yourself these questions: 

When in my life did I seek help only to find out that what I was going through was devalued by another? How many times have I not spoken up when I was going through something or needed help based on past encounters in life? How has this spilled into my relationship with people in general or with God? Do I ever feel at times what I’m going through shouldn’t be brought up to God because others are going through something worse?

If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, you have faced toxic positivity. Don’t be discouraged, this is the first step to healing from the wounds and effects of it. This week allow yourself to grieve or ponder on how this has made you feel. Journaling is a great idea to pour out any lingering wounds.

I leave you with this prayer until next week’s article on learning what healthy positivity is and how to stand up for yourself. You’ll also learn how to grow in your love for yourself and in your intimacy with God.

Dear God,

Thank you for being with your precious one. Thank you for opening their eyes that toxic positivity has affected their lives. You God can heal these broken hearts and wounds. May you comfort them today in your unfathomable love as they bring any past hurts and pains. May you shed on them grace, comfort, and joy. Thank you for giving them wisdom, guidance and peace. I ask this in Jesus Name.  Amen.

Bio- Laura Herrera

Going through two chronic debilitating diseases for 11 years, being in and out of hospitals and going through multiple doctors and surgeries- Laura now advocates passionately and bridges the gap for those going through the same diseases as she did. Coming from a place of understanding on how chronic diseases can affect all aspects of life; not just including others health, but also their mental wellbeing, finances, family life and relationships in general- she is also passionate about helping those going through any chronic disease. Her articles can be seen on: https://lauraherreratopics.com/

Unhealthy, Toxic or Aggressive People or Healthy, Non-Toxic or Assertive People

When Compassion isn’t Compassion

What is The Difference Between Positivity and Trusting God.

How to know if you are walking in the spirit? Part 1

shallow focus photography of yellow lime with green leaves

The Bible tells us how to know if you are walking and being led by the Spirit.  It also tells us in Galatians what is not of the Spirit is flesh and gives us the fruit (actions and attitudes) of flesh.  Verse 16 says, “I say then: walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Galatians 5: 19-21 “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

So, then what is the fruit of walking in the Spirit?  And why are there nine fruit of the Spirit? Should it have said fruits?  I think sometimes we think of them separately but, they are one.  When we walk in the Spirit, we produce fruit. Jesus said, ‘you will know them by their fruit.’ He was referring to false prophets/ teachers.  My mom use, to tell us, ‘Actions speak louder than words.’  Which is a common statement, but it is true. We can tell by someone’s actions, tones, and facial expressions what they really mean.  Anyone can say anything, but the proof is in the action.

I sensed in the spirit it is time to write about the nine fruit of the Spirit. The scripture I am referring to is in Galatians 5:22-23 NKJ “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”  When you walk and live in the Spirit this is what you will produce, or I should say what will come forth from you.

Since Love is first on the list we will start with love.

What is love? ‘God is love.’ Since love is an aspect of the Spirit and appointed as fruit what does it look like in action? When a tree has fruit we are able to see, smell and taste it and we know by that it is an apple, orange, pear or lemon tree for example, therefore fruit is seen and known by distinctive traits.  It is the same with love. Love is not just a word used to describe a feeling. Love is a commitment to someone or something. Love is seen in action

The Bible says in John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17) For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” The Father sent the Son to die for our sins so that we could be forgiven and have eternal life with Him.

I Corinthians 13 describes love.  Verse 4 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself,  is not puffed up; 5) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7) bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things, 8) love never fails…”

Love to me means one lays down its life, it sees the good in others, it is gentle and kind, it long endures, love makes and upholds boundaries, it serves others. Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Most of us would not harm ourselves therefor love does no harm to another. I know that love is essential to our way of life.

As a believer in Christ, it is most important to allow God to change in us what needs changing. Such as actions and attitudes that do not line up with His character.  First ask the Holy Spirt to search your heart and show you if there is anything in the way of love. God will show us when we humble ourselves, pray and ask so that we can confess it, repent and turn from it.  God cares for and about you.

What do you base your Love on? 

Three steps to walking in God’s Power and Might?


How to be an overcomer in 2023

brown mountains

overcoming in 2023

Have you ever faced obstacles that seems unsurmountable? I can tell you at the time you’re in them, it feels and looks like nothing is changing and it may even seem hopeless. But one of the things I have learned throughout life is, God may seem silent, but He is always working on our behalf. There are times that I don’t have the answer of why it happened or that the outcome isn’t what I wanted but God is not as far away as you might think.

When I lost my mom, it seemed like life would never be the same and in one respect it wasn’t but my mom is in heaven pain free and that knowledge gives me hope that I will meet her there one day. Losing my sister was unexpected and a tough time but out of that tragedy God gave me a stronger relationship with my niece and nephew. Which I am so thankful for. 

Throughout my life I have learned that the Word of God is powerful and effective. That what the bible states is true in Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  When I do not understand what is happening or why it is the length of time it is, I remind myself of this scripture.  I personally like to speak out the scriptures so that I hear it when say it. It gets in the heart and mind deeper.

You may be reading this blog post and going through something so hard that you don’t understand and want to know why? We can’t answer the why all the time, but we can trust in God through Christ Jesus sacrifice for us to bring us through what ever we are going through. When I wrote this, I had been sick for weeks with on and off bronchitis but even though my lungs were congested, and my cough was rough so rough it made my eye bleed. I still could praise God in my heart and say it is well with my soul.  Because my peace comes from Christ’s peace, my joy isn’t based on my situation it is based in His joy which gives me strength. My soul is content in His love for me whether I am abased or abound I know God is with me and for me because I am His child.

How do you overcome? The answer is through Christ Jesus strength. His grace is sufficient for you. No matter what we go through God will go with us when we are His. You overcome through trusting Him, obedience to His word and abiding in Him.

You too can be an overcomer and have His peace today. How by trust, obey and abide in Him.

Trust… obey

What Are The Three ‘Starting Over’ Factors?

Are You Quieted by His Love?