Category: Mind

Chronic Pain…

What is Chronic pain and how do you live with it?  In my own phrase chronic discomfort is pain and distress in a constant state.  As stated by google chronic pain is, “persistent pain that lasts weeks to years.”  The reality is that whenever you are suffering in chronic pain or a disease it remains stressful.

How can somebody with chronic pain handle it?  The response is not considered to be a single-step fix.  What does work for one individual’s pain might not work for others as well.  I am under no circumstances a medical doctor therefore I do not have all the answers, and neither can I diagnosis someone, but I may share from my own personal experience with chronic pain whatever is working for me.

I make it first by faith and God’s strength.  February turned out to be a month packed with extreme pain.  My left-ankle that was replaced Aug 20th, 2019 developed tendonitis and my right- ankle the one that the bone is now deteriorated has currently become deteriorated into the soft tissue in the foot as well, therefore the cortisone injections will no longer be an alternative for pain management.  Being born with several congenital abnormalities has been a challenge along with pain throughout my life.

But I place my trust in God I know he never leaves me nor forsakes me and somehow, he has provided me with the ability to thrive mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Trusting God gives me strength and grace to face each day knowing I’m not alone.  He also gives me wisdom to know when to rest, use ice or take medicine.  Pain can affect your thoughts, emotions and outlook on life if you let it.

I choose to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain.  I refuse to feel sorry for myself.  Self-pity only makes it hurt worse because you become focused on the negative and the pain increases it seems.  And sometimes tears do help to relive the stress so long as we don’t remain in it.  Chronic pain may vary in degrees of pain one-day hurts you realize that it’s there, however you shelve this ache to force through. Other days its incapacitating pain and cannot be pressed through to accomplish, so you get some rest.

Some of the different ways to deal with pain are prayer, mediation, rest, relying on the grace of God, support systems of family, friends and support groups, medication, exercise, physical therapy, massages, electrical stimulation, chiropractic care, stress management, counseling, acupuncture, surgery, dietary changes etc.  This is just a small list of ways to help deal with chronic pain they don’t elevate all the pain, but they help to cope with it. 

I prefer to look at the good things in my life even though I’m in pain, I also select the option to activate my will to focus on reaching out to others through phone calls and text and now blogging.  I’m not able to move around like I’m use to for now, but I do know God’s with me and can give me opportunities to show His love right where I’m at.  If your feeling that you no longer have a chance to do something because of your chronic pain I can assure you when you trust God, he’ll provide you with opportunities no matter where you are too.

Ashes in our lives…

What are the ashes in our life?  They’re the things that we consider as a failure, bad, very hard and losses.  Including rejections, abuse, hurts, pain and sufferings.  Can be in any form of abuse in the emotional, verbal, physically, financial, or sexual etc.  Can also be times of neglect, abandonment, shamed.  Anything which tears you down to and it makes you feel, or you think bad about yourself or makes you think your crazy is a form of abuse.  Ashes could also be accidental tragedy, natural catastrophes or unjust attacks.

Ashes are something we consider loss.  But God picks up the ashes we’ve experienced in our life and leads us out and makes us beautiful.  Beauty is inner healing which flows out for others and self.

The term “Beauty for Ashes” is found in the Bible in Isaiah 61: Verse 3 “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

It does not happen overnight some things do take time but if you’ve been experiencing loss or abuse your heart can be healed through God.  This does not necessarily mean you will forget but it does mean He heals an inner heart of pain and suffering.  He replaces it with restorative love.  So, when you remember the heart doesn’t shut you down in more pain.

When someone has been abused, discarded and hurt it takes some time to heal, think straight and be restored.  From my post ‘Grief Work’ it explains the amount of emotions and how it is not a systemic process.  Ashes in our lives will produce grief. 

Ashes in our lives are about how God uses the things we have gone through once we let him work in our lives and he leads us through healed and restored.  He picks up the ashes and makes something beautiful in our lives.

 A support group that I lead was called beauty for ashes. It’s based on this truth ‘that little girls need affection, affirmation and acceptance from their dads.”  Unless they get it when their young, unmet needs longs for that and the girl aims to fill unmet needs in unhealthy ways.  I am going to say boys also need affirmations, acceptance and affection from their moms.  They will also fill their unmet needs in unhealthy ways.  Those three areas will cause deficiency within the individual and as an adult their unmet needs and coping abilities will be underdeveloped.  Both parents should be affirming, accepting and affectionate. 

Addictions can begin by attempting to fill an unmet need that the pain, neglect, or abuse put there.  We’re all designed with a need to feel loved, wanted and accepted plus we humans need food and shelter.  Those needs refused or is out of balance put a person in an unhealthy pattern of thinking.  

Also, real love doesn’t compel you to be anything you are not, and it does not make you responsible for them.

Most of the time for you to be healed means ‘walking through the pain’ by viewing and releasing thru the expression of the hurt.  Processing grief with truths and walking in the forgiveness about it after it has been worked through, the ache of things we go through must be let out.  Pain which is repressed or denied just stays gnawing like a sore.  Forgiveness isn’t about the offender or abuser.  It is for you to be free of the pain, hurt, and shame.  Forgiveness will set you free to be whole and healthy.

How exactly does God take the ash and transform them into something beautiful?  In Isaiah 61:1-3 is all about the good news of salvation.  This prophecy was fulfilled instantly when Christ Jesus walked the ground and died for our sins.  It is also declaring a promise of comfort and console for those who mourn, to give them beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning, garment of praise for heaviness…  Therefore, as this describes how God gives us beauty for ashes you will be able to lean on him to guide you through the hard, extreme and devasting situations as he will give you inner healing, grace and strength (beauty) for the ashes of life.

Grief Work…

There is a concept called ‘grief work.’  What is sorrow and the importance of doing your grief work?

Grief can begin as a feeling of numbness, and shock almost as if it’s not real at first, and subsequently deep sadness as you are experiencing a major loss.  Losses could be a death of a person, animal, relationships or life changing injuries are not limited to these but also to the loss of a career, home etc.

How a person experiences a great loss another might not experience it the same way.  Grief covers many different emotions.  A loss may be experienced by stages of grief but not in a systematic way.  Grief includes denial, bargaining, hurt/deep sadness-depression, anger, acceptance/creating a new way to live life.

How are we going to get through grief?  For every one of us it is different, tears ease the pressure of sadness, journaling helps you to put your thoughts on the paper and to see what you are thinking and it is the place to see any impractical thoughts.  Talking about and expressing yourself is helping to release the inner pressures of grief.

When we are experiencing a major loss its useful to voice your thoughts and feelings.  I personally think grieving is the gift to move from the loss to acceptance.   

What I mean by this statement is I’ve noticed people celebrate a person’s life without allowing sadness.  To me this is not a healthy way for us to express grief.  Because the individual must repress their grief and put on a happy face.

Funerals are one way to express our grief and time to honor the loved one.  Not letting yourself grieve only will keep you stuck in grief.

Unresolved grief will linger throughout your lifetime if it’s not been dealt with.  Therefore, repressing grief causes health issues physically and psychologically.   Keeping you locked into the past and pain.  If a person is in this condition, there is a way out.  Seek out a Therapist/Counselor.  Expressing feelings or thoughts to a person that understands the full spectrum of grief will help a person do their ‘grief work’ and someday be free from grief.

Grief is a gift from God to help deal with major losses.  But it’s not supposed to be a life sentence you can walk through to the other side of grief.

Losses come in many sizes from small to big from the simple to the complex.  Still everything in our sorrows and triumphs we must be honest with ourselves, realistic in all our expressions and patience with our grief process.

Family and friends may be a great source for support.  Together with support groups, Churches and talking to a counselor.  Seek help if you feel stuck in your grief.

I had to when I lost my mom in 99’ I couldn’t wrap my mind around letting her go, a wise counselor led me through the grief and helped me to see I wasn’t letting her go she’ll always be my mom its just our relationship has changed.  She used this phrase ‘it’s like rearranging your furniture its still your furniture its just in a different place.  My mom will always be my mom she’s just in a different place now.’  Which helped me process where I had just gotten stuck in grief.  Sounds easy as I type this, but it wasn’t for me in that moment I was stuck and needed help in my grief.

If you’re grieving alone seek help that’s the best way to get through to the opposite side of grief. 

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”

Have this mind…

As I was just reading the other morning in Philippians chapter three this declaration stood out to me.  “Have this mind.” 

Chapter three begins “Rejoice in the Lord.”  This alone is a good mentality to have but goes on to say in verse 7 “but what things were gain to me, these I counted loss for Christ.”  “Being found in Him not having my own righteousness but that righteousness which is from faith in Christ.”

All the things we look at as achievements are really nothing “compared to the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus.”  What does that mean?  It does not mean you abandon all your goals; it also doesn’t mean that you do not achieve in life.  It does mean you know everything you do and achieve aren’t better than the relationship between you and Christ.  He’s the truth, Life and Way.  Without him there’s nothing we can do or have that matters in eternity.

When we die, we don’t take our possessions, accomplishments or titles we come before God either in Christ or without.

That is why the Apostle Paul states in, Philippians 3:12-15 “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13) Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. 14) I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15) Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind…”

I wrote in my journal yesterday “Forgetting those things which are behind us and reach forward to those things which are ahead.  I press (on) toward the goal “have this mind.”  Reach and do not look back on glorious days.  Press on because the more that you recount the past the harder it will be to move forward.  Their over and gone look ahead, press in and go forward be not puffed up be pressed in.”

Pressed in is forward-thinking.  This mind is a calm mind, it is a focused mind and moving forward mindset.  Vision is crucial to moving forward. Press on

What is fear?

Great question I’ve been pondering from yesterday morning.  I read Psalm 46 yesterday and that it states in verse 1 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. V.2 Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea…”

I love the therefore we will not fear because God is our present help.  So, what is fear? According to the Dictionary fear is, “An unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger real or imagined.”

Fear can be triggered in the nervous system by our perception of danger real or imagined.  So, fear is a part of our design by God to warn us but what happens when it’s out of balance?  Phobias, worries, anxiety develop. 

God gave us a built-in alarm system once you know what fear is, I believe it’s easier to stop a fear from over taking your thinking.  By asking yourself is this real or imagined fear. Then your answer can help you to do what is necessary to overcome.  A real danger needs an answer.  Fear is a warning system that helps protect us when it’s a real danger. 

God always has a way out or through trouble.  I love that he is ever present in it with us.  God’s word tells us in 1 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.”  The word states God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear.  Meaning our spirit has power, love and a sound mind.  That’s what he has given us.  Don’t let fear control you but do allow fear to warn in real danger.  Not listening to fear in real danger will cause you harm. 

Everyone experiences fear its part of our nervous system.  It’s how you respond to it that gives it or takes away its power. People who use fear to hurt others are unhealthy or commonly called toxic.  What they’re really doing is trying to control you.  Remember no one can control you unless you let them.  Don’t let their use of fear deceive you into giving them power over you.

Look at fear for what it is that it is a biological response from your nervous system to warn of danger real or imagined. That is why are thoughts are so important.  If we let fear get into our thoughts it will take over.  Speak God’s word to it.  That is why in 2 Timothy 1:7 Paul tells Timothy “For God has not given you a spirit of fear…  He was instructing Timothy to realize the place where fear was coming from.  When fear gains control all kinds of problems develop. 

God’s love cast out fear.  Rest in His love for you.  Trust His love for you because it is more powerful than your fear.  1 John 4:18 states, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  This in reference to fear that is out of balance or trying to take over.

When fear is the response of real danger, we hear it but when it comes to an imagined danger, we don’t listen to it.  This is when speaking God’s word into an imaginary fear will help you calm yourself.

Remember Jesus conquered fear and death by His love!

The Marvelous Mind & Know your thoughts!

What is your mind and how do you know your thoughts?  Knowing what’s the function of your mind helps you to know your thoughts.  These are questions that will help you to overcome and become conscious of your thoughts.

Randomly letting your mind wander in any and every direction can lead you down the negative paths of fear, anxiousness, and overthinking.  Then your mind will dwell there and finally produce depressing thoughts and emotions.

Knowing what’s on your mind is a way of recognizing the thinking and adjusting those thoughts in the onset.  It takes some practice but when we choose to refocus on healthy, positive or uplifting things redirecting becomes a habit.

For example, last night I woke up four times and it took me longer than normal to go back to sleep.  As I laid there a strange thought about life and death came to my mind.  I started to think about our health, ages etc. and then I said to myself ‘wait a minute I’m not thinking this way.’  It left as quickly as it came.  Those weren’t my normal thoughts an enemy of my soul tried to make me fearful I refused it.  This is just a small example of how out of nowhere you can think thoughts that don’t originate in you and if they do you still can refuse those thoughts.

The mind consists in three functions “thinking, feeling and wanting” or another way to say it “thoughts, emotions and desires.”

Your thought, emotions and desires are connected.  When we know our thoughts and choose on what we want to think on we will begin to redirect our thoughts and emotions.  Over thinking, analyzing, turns into fretting and descends into emotions of distress, anxiousness, fear, unhappiness and depression etc.

The Bible teaches us to keep our mind on good things, pure things and good reports.

This Bible passage teaches us how to not be anxious.  Through prayer and thanksgiving give it over to God.  In Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be  made known to God; 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”   When we take these anxious, worrisome thoughts and give them and all the areas there concerning us to God His response is peace.  Only His peace can guard the heart and mind.  Jesus purchased peace for us, and peace of heart and mind is part of it.

I like how the Bible tells us how to apply it by thinking on these things in Philippians 4:8 states, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise worthy meditate on these things.”

Meditate here means just that, turn it around in your thoughts all these good things.

Another good scripture that I like to lean on is found in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You.”  Once again, a promise of perfect peace with a practical application.  I love how practical God is.

Why so we can have peace.  Peace on the inside with our thoughts/thinking, emotions/feelings and desires/wants.  Truly our minds are marvelous.

When we ‘know are thoughts’ we’re recognizing what we are thinking and then we will begin changing our wrong thinking quicker.

What does that mean to me this means when we recognize our thoughts and take accountability for them in our thinking, we can change how we’re thinking.  You have a choice on what you think on.