Category: Mind

Three things to know about happiness.

Where does happiness come from? What does it do for you? How does one stay happy in life? Happiness can be a byproduct of what we do for others. Happiness is not found in a person, place or thing. It comes as we carry out goals, help someone or choose to be thankful even when life is throwing the curve ball at you. It also comes when we give of ourselves to others. It is a disposition in life. The Dictionary says happiness means, “the state of being happy.” ‘Contentment, pleasure’

Wikipedia.org “Happiness is a feeling of pleasure and positivity. When someone feels good, proud, excited, relieved or satisfied about something that person is said to be ‘happy’ Feeling happy may help people relax and to smile.”

Why is happiness so important to people? I think it is promoted as an essential pursuit. First, it is a byproduct of what a person does with life. It’s not about money, status or who you know. It is a product of how you view life, what your dreams are and how you go about completing them. You can have no money and be happy. You can have millions of dollars and still feel depressed, lonely and unhappy. If you think the more, you have the happier you will be you will end up disappointed.

Secondly happiness isn’t joy, being joyful is an emotion. Joy is an emotion of excitement or a sudden feeling of cheer. It’s important to feel joy but happiness is more of a state of mind. Happiness can also be felt because it is produced when we give others help, when we complete projects or goals.   

Thirdly when we keep our minds free from comparing ourselves to others, self-pity, negative critical thinking we stay happy. Our minds will steer us that is why the Bible states in Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.” We can choose our thoughts. I choose to not be focused on what I can’t do and do what I can do.

After having joint replacements, you learn if I overdo, I suffer pain, so you learn to pace yourself and do what you can, not what you are unable to. I choose to focus on doing what I enjoy and let the heavier things go.

Choose to enjoy where you are in life as you pursue where you want to be. Everyday we can learn something new, if you’re not sure what you like spend time trying new things to give yourself and opportunity to learn and grow. It is never too late to learn something new.

Remember happiness is a byproduct not a goal.

Where Does Your Value come From?

Your worth equals value

What is a mirror? “it is a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam that reflects a clear image.”

To me it is a device to see oneself. When you look in a mirror what do you see? If I asked you to name three things you like about yourself, but you cannot answer what you do or say I’m a good wife, mother… How would you answer then? Think on this for a minute.

This is a message I taught on at the woman’s bible study at our church. The question the Holy Spirit asked remains “Where are you getting your worth from?” This is an important statement to think on… These two definitions explain where our worth is coming from in the natural.

“Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others.”

“Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem. Self-esteem relies on external factors such as success & achievements.”

Your Worth equals value and comes from Your Identity in Christ!  Jesus is my identity!!! My value and worth come from Him.

I do not have to work it, make it or maintain it. I just live, walk, and abide in Christ Jesus because He worked it and died for it. I live, laugh and love in Him.

God recreated-regenerated into us a new spirit when we were born again, we became a part of the new Adam the nature of Christ. Your spirit man was recreated in the image of Christ, but our soul & body is what gets in our way.  Your soul is working out its salvation with fear and trembling.  But we have a choice to choose to activate our will and choose to live and walk in our identity in Christ.  In His Righteousness, sanctification, redemption and dominion.

1 Corinthians 1:3 “But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God-and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.”

I live in Him, He lives in me, we are one in Jesus! Just as he prayed, we would be. John 17:20-21 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word 21) that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that thy also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent me…”

Since our identity is in Christ Jesus what does that mean. I looked the word identity up online, “The word Identity means 1) a: the distinguishing character or personality of an individual: Individuality b) The relation established by psychological identification 2) the condition of being the same with something described or asserted established.”

“The deeper meaning: the definition of identity is who you are, the way you are viewed by the world and the characteristics that define you. such as a person’s name…”

What exactly does Jesus’ identity mean for, a believer. It is who we are and how God sees us.

Since we now know our identity is in Christ Jesus then how do we live, walk, and abide in Him?

And that is the reason why the Apostle Paul could say ‘he no longer lives.’

Galatians 2:19-20 “For I through the law died to the law that I might live to God. 20)I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ live in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

We live by faith in Christ we live by his accomplishments not our own. We live through his power, anointing and grace. This is the reason why Paul could also ‘endure all things through His grace which is sufficient.’ The Apostle Paul pleaded to have the thorn in his flesh removed. Theologian’s debate what the thorn was either an eye disease or the continuous assault on him as he traveled preaching the gospel either way Jesus did not remove it and after the third pleading of prayers the Holy Spirit spoke. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore, we live by the Grace of God. John 1:16 “And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace…” Jesus came full of grace and gave us grace. It’s His grace for grace so you are able to live in His grace. Which is His strength for what you face each day.

2 Corinthians 3:18 “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”   As you live in Him you will reflect His glory.

We can live, abide and walk in and through Christ Jesus…

Abiding in Him can & ought to be a spiritual supernatural occurrence of continuance. The word abide means “stay, remain, abide, rest, sojourn, persist, pursue.” This is applied by abiding continually.  John 15:4 “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.”

That is why when they were in the boat with Jesus, they got afraid. Because their eyes and mind where on the natural boat and water. Even though they were in the boat with him they were not abiding in him. When he woke up, he said ‘ye of little faith.’ Their faith was on the wrong thing.  This is just one example of why our identity must be in Him. Apart from Him we can do nothing.

We can live, abide, and walk in our identity in Jesus.

How do you walk in your identity with Jesus? 1) Walk Humbly with God meaning total dependence on God for everything. Even our own hearts, because our hearts can deceive us, into a religious routine of thinking we are ok, when we are not, so staying humble also keeps us in check. Regularly let God search your heart. Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, o man what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

2) The bible says we are to walk by faith not sight. What does ‘walk by faith’ mean to you? Whose faith are you walking in? We each got a measure of faith where did it come from? Jesus! We all have his faith; we grow in it. He is the author and perfector of our faith. Hebrews 12:2 “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Romans 12:3” “…God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. We walk by faith and not by sight by depending on and in Jesus. When you know your real identity is in Jesus, that is when you know who accepts you is Almighty God. Keeping your eyes, mind, heart soul and body on Christ Jesus because you are his and he is yours.

The word of God is truth it produces faith. Faith comes from hearing the Word of God. The Word of God is a mirror to see who you are in Christ.  

Anxiety is fear, fear is an enemy. We become anxious because our eyes go on us it opens us up to fear. Our eyes, mind, heart must stay on Jesus. His identity is ours and we live, abide and walk in Him through Him. You are not alone!

What do you base your Love on?

What is love? Why is love so important? Where does it come from? Is it found in a feeling, thought or action? Or are all three of these involved in love? Does love include your mind, will and emotions? These are a few questions I would like to look at and think about.

First what is love? The Dictionary states, noun 1) “An intense feeling of deep affection. 2) A great interest and pleasure in something. Such as love for football.”

The Urban Dictionary defines love as “The act of caring and giving to someone else. Having someone’s best interest and well being as a priority in your life. To truly love is a very selfless act.” These definitions show us a few things that describe love according to the Dictionary.

Any time I do premarital counseling I like to ask couples why do you love each other; this question causes thoughts and expression so that each one can hear why each other loves them. Just saying I love you is not enough; love is always an expression of action. In healthy relationships love is selfless, it is always moving and growing. Love is stable, reliable, security, with meaningful communication and affection.

Relationships that embrace the differences in each other develop into healthy friendships. Love accepts the differences in others. For example, my husband is a drummer he played drums all his life. I do not have rhythm I struggle to clap in time. But my strengths are in other areas I love to sing. These differences do not hinder us because we embrace our differences, and we are not trying to make each other be like our selves. I think being able to laugh at yourself helps keep balance in love too. Laughter does the heart good.

Parental love also expresses to the child stability, consistency, security, communication, acceptance, affirmations, affection, boundaries and consequences. Healthy love has boundaries it also says I am sorry when wrong or I have hurt someone or reacted in a wrong way. Parental love teaches children how to love.

The Word of God describes love in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-Love never fails.” This description of love is actions, thoughts and words. This is the kind of love we are to walk and live in daily.

God loved us so much He sent His only begotten son to die for us so that we could live eternally with Him. In John 3:16 it tells us of Gods sacrificial love. Jesus laid down His own life for us, His love for us endured suffering, sorrow and death by taking our place, to buy forgiveness of sin for us. God showed His love through His Son Christ Jesus. Love expresses itself in sacrifice at times.

Love is a decision so your will is involved in love. Love is not just a feeling it is a choice. You can choose to walk and live love every moment. Let’s choose to love today.

What Kind of Strength Do You Need?

Where does strength come from? Are there several types of strength? How do you measure strength? These are a few questions we will look at. First there are various categories of strength. There is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength they may vary in description but can be seen as strength.

The word strength in English means “The quality of state of being physically strong.” Being Physically strong comes through muscle mass and working the muscles. You don’t have to be tall to be strong you just have to have muscle strength to be strong physically.

Mental strength comes through endurance of learning and applying what you have learned. Even when one has a learning disability through help and training, they can learn and grow. Mental strength to me isn’t about how intelligent you are it’s about your ability to continue on and keep going. Mental strength can be seen in the attitude of not giving up and keep trying. When we give up and quit, we lose ground mentally. If it doesn’t work, try another way. After writing my definition I looked up what Wikipedia states, mental strength is “used colloquially to refer to any set of positive attributes that helps a person to cope with difficult situations.”

I also believe we can have strength physically, mentally and emotional strength to endure hardships, setbacks, failures etc. Demanding situations do affect us all differently. When one looks at hardships through the impact of our emotions it is draining. Pain produces feelings and feelings can be caused by real or imagined perspectives. Although both causes emotional upset when your emotional strength is low. Pain is a warning signal something is wrong. Emotional strength doesn’t mean you don’t feel it just means you allow your feelings/emotions, and you manage them in healthy ways. Such as when I’m sad I cry, when I’m happy I smile and laugh etc. repressing our emotions isn’t strength it’s an avoidance mechanism.

The importance of spiritual strength is found in the Word of God. Psalms 84: 5-7 “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage, 6) As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring; The rain also covers it with pools, 7) they go from strength to strength; Each one appears before God in Zion.”

Spiritual strength comes from a relationship with God. It not only comes from the relationship and it comes from God himself. He will infuse strength into you when you need it. It’s called grace. Grace has different qualities, and one is infused strength. The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians that he learned to be abased and to abound. He learned he could do all things through Christ who gave him strength.

I think it’ important to realize when we are weak, He is strong in us. To me real spiritual strength isn’t mustered up but comes from the abiding strength of Jesus. His strength infused into our spirit, soul and body as we ask, rely on and walk in Him.

The Valley of Baca is a place of tears and mourning. Baca means “crying” and is translated “Valley of Mourning.”  When we walk through losses of all kinds God gives strength to have ‘from strength to strength.’ As you look to Him for your strength you can be assured, He is with you and will support you and you can make it through with and in His strength. As a child of God, you are not alone He is with you always.

If you need more strength, just ask He will give you more.

Today is a new day!

A New Day

Every day is a completely new day. The bible says, “Today is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Each day is a new day although each day may not have pleasant things happening. We affect our day through our hearts and minds. No matter what happens our thoughts and attitudes towards events will affect our day.

But even at the worst of days we can go through the time with and by the Grace of God. You will be able to make it through whatever you are facing once you face it with and in the Grace of God.

Whether it’s a loss, disappointments, breakup or health problems etc. your day can be faced, expressed and walked through with help. God provides The Grace to go through along with you. Jesus said I will be with you always.

You can say today is the day the Lord has made. It’s a new day only you determine your outlook on your day. I choose to look to the Lord Jesus and His Grace every day. He’s the reason I’m alive today!

Let your day begin with a good morning Lord and finish with a thank you God for this day. Your outlook has a great deal to do with how you live and react to events and others. When there is pain or trauma, we must let it out by giving it a voice, but then we need to get healed from it. So that your days will not be driven by the past but are focused on your future.

God wants to heal the hurts of the past because He has a hope and future for you. What exactly is your hope in?

Amazon.com: The Father’s Daughters: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection (9798705629275): Melton, Dr. Annette: Books

How do you refocus when life is scrambled?

What is your focus on? Our focus may be on all kinds of things from home to careers and all that is in between. But what is going happen when your focus gets blurred due to unforeseen circumstances? That is when we need to refocus. What does refocus mean? It means “to focus again to change the emphasis or direction of.”

In the natural our view might be clouded caused by eye problems. Such as what I’m experiencing, I can see however not so clear in the left eye. I’m facing a cataract and partial corneal transplant surgery next month. So, I must focus to see.    

When things get a bit haywire what do you focus on? When life is scrambled with all kinds of ups and downs how do you keep your focus? I think it depends on what you’re focusing on. Our lives are made up of all kinds of important tasks and people who are involved in them. But to me the most essential focus that helps all the other areas in our lives is God and keeping my focus on Him.

There are many scriptures to help keep your focus clear. When your heart and mind are on the Lord it trains you to keep a clear focus. Keeping your heart and mind clear is most important. When our hearts are right with God and we stay humble and contrite we will keep a clear focus.

How do you focus when life is scrambled? By going back to God letting Him refocus your heart and mind. Laying the cares of the day at His feet and receiving His peace. Getting alone with the Lord is the first step to refocusing. Only God can tell you what is really in your heart. When we come before Him with thanksgiving and praise Him for who He is this will affect your focus.

When we come to the Lord with our cares and concerns without thanksgiving the focus becomes lopsided. But when I turn my eyes on Jesus and thank Him for who He is and for what He has done. Then my focus becomes clearer. A peace settles over me and I can petition my prayers through His focus.

God knows clearer what I need than I know or what others need. Each day has new challenges but everyday our focus can stay clear as we allow God to lead, guide and focus our day.

Are You Quieted by His Love?

Let’s take a look at God’s love in more detail. I thought the month about love would be a precious time to write about Gods love. There is so numerous distinct aspects to His love because, who can comprehend the unfathomable riches of God’s love?  The one lovely aspect of God Almighty is that He opens our understanding to His love. He did this by sending His only begotten Son Jesus to show us His love. If you want to know The Father, you will need to learn from the Son. He is the exact representation of the Father the bible says. By searching and understanding the many qualities of God’s love it helps you to grow, stand, and trust His love for you.

God’s love never fails, is eternal and everlasting.  Deuteronomy 7:9 “Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;” His love is faithful He keeps his love and mercy for your generations beyond you it is a promise.  I’m a product of my grandmother’s prayers. I thank God for their love and their faithfulness to Him.

Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, But My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed.” Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.” Mercy=His love and so does kindness. Things will be gone as well as landscapes change but not God’s love for you it is unchanging and enduring.

Psalm 136:26 “Oh, give thanks to the God of heaven! For His mercy endures forever.” This is enduring love. Mercy equals love.

Psalm 86:15 “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.” God is full of compassion, graciousness and longsuffering with abundant mercy and truth. There is no limit in His love for you.

 I John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”  This passage needs to be referenced to the previous passage. 1 John 4:15 “Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” Gods love is abiding love it is continual flowing enduring love. God doesn’t just have love He is love.

John 15:9-13 “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10) If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” Verse 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus laid down his life for his friends and for all of mankind.  His love is not only sacrificial love it is abiding love. It remains steadfast with you.

Romans 5: 8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ dies for us.” This shows us His love is demonstrative in that he displays his love with actions and sacrifice.

1 John 3:16 “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”  God doesn’t just speak he creates His word with actions.

1 John 3:1 “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God.” What manner of love the Father bestowed on us is His sacrificial love to send His son to die for us, so that we could be sons and daughters.

Romans 8:37-39 As you read this passage of scripture you will see nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.  

Ephesians 2:4 “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),” His love is great love. He is rich in mercy and loved us before we even knew Him.

 Are you quieted in His love? Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His Love.” I believe this scripture tells us of God causing you to rest and be still in his love for you. When you’re resting in His love you no longer have to figure it out, you’re trusting in His care and love to guide and guard you. This helps to release anxiety about your situations. It builds a trust in Him and His love for you.

If you are questioning all your situations due to anxiety or fear of the unknown or unlike of what is happening, you can rest in God’s love for you. Allow His love for you to quiet your anxiousness and to quiet your fear of… As His child he promises to bring you through every situation you can trust Him in the trials of life.

Search out passages on His love and meditate on those aspects to help you grow in your faith in God. He genuinely cares for you. Lean on and depend on His love for you it will quiet your heart and mind.

How is your day going?

Have you ever had one of those days where it starts out great and mid-way it takes a turn towards stress Ville? Well truth be told I think we all can relate to those days.

Some days are sunlit others raining, cold, foggy. Every day is not easy and has challenges but when your life is not based on your day you come through the challenges with growth. If you base your day on certain outcomes, then you’re setting yourself up for hurt and failure.

We all need goals to set to get things done but giving ourselves grace to carry out what you want and need to get done and leaving what is not for another day without guilt is healthy living.

Guilt just weighs you down it adds stress that we just do not need to put on ourselves. There are enough things that can cause stress but adding it to yourself is counterproductive. There is a difference between guilt and conviction. Conviction leads us to repentance and change. But guilt causes internal feelings and thoughts of less, not good enough, feeling of condemnation thoughts of not measuring up. Knowing the difference helps one to be free to enjoy your day as you walk along the day.

When we do wrong, we need to recognize by admitting it repent and ask for forgiveness. And do not do it again. But guilt is different it is a pervasive feeling of not measuring up to a standard one has put on themselves or by others. It can manifest in standards of all kinds, time, behavior, feeling, opinions etc. It is a grueling task master. Usually, its root is in performance orientation or perfectionism.

So, if you’re feeling it’s a bad day ask yourself why? If your why is based in feelings, then ask yourself what is the feeling I’m having based in? That answer will help you to recognize if it is guilt, based in performance. Then give yourself permission to make mistakes, lower expectations etc. God gives us grace it is time to apply that to yourself.

How is your day I asked? To me everyday is a good in the Lord. Last night we had found a mouse in the house, he ate a hole in the dogs’ food. Then a little later I reached up to put the pepper grinder in the cabinet it fell, broke and shattered on the floor and lots of peppercorn was all over the kitchen. I was tired but it did not change my day or mood because accidents happen. We had company for dinner too.

Give yourself permission to enjoy each day no matter what goes on around you and you will feel less stressed.

What exactly is your hope in?

Recently I had read Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” This made me think about hope and how it affects us. How do you respond when something you desire does not happen? What type of mood does it produce in you? These are a few questions we will look at.

“Hope 1) a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. (expectation desires)” “2) means want something o happen or be the case. (expect, anticipate)”

It is obvious that hope deals with expectations and desires. But what is the root the foundation of our hope is it in something or someone? If you place your hope in people or things you are setting yourself up for disappointments but if you are placing your hope in God, you will have a solid rock to rely on.

We all have expectations and desires for certain outcomes in life. And that is a good thing but if the desire or expectation has not been met how do you handle the disappointment? Here are few different ways people handle disappointment.

Some people handle the disappointment with bitterness. They stew and brew over the situation and blame someone else. This is not productive. The bitterness eats away at the soul it is not healthy nor does it generate life.

Some individuals handle disappointment with self-pity. Self-pity makes the person feel bad about themselves. This also is an unhealthy way to deal with disappointment. Self-pity wants you to indulge in it and it will open the door to situational depression. This also does not produce life.

With both these outcomes it shows us that the hope was in something or someone instead of in God. The bible gives us many verses to place our hope in God. Placing your hope your desires and expectation in God and on his word is the solid foundation.

1 Peter 1:13 “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

A Biblical hope is’ confident expectation in God.’ What if it still does not happen the way you want? Then go to God for the answer. I have experienced times where I thought something would go a certain way I was expecting, and it did not. This is when we must reevaluate. Is this God’s will, plan and time?  Was I asking and expecting my will in the situation?

The perfect plan is God’s not ours. His desire is for you when you are his child but understanding where your hope rests is important to overcoming in disappointment. Place your trust and hope in God. Be filled with his word put your expectations in God and you will be at peace.

Disappointment do’s and don’ts