Mind – Page 2 – Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette

Three Key Questions to Ask in Making Decisions?

Do you wrestle with making decisions? What is a decision? A decision is a choice between options. Why do we battle in making a choice? The answer lies in each one of us, but several reasons are fear of rejection, fear of being wrong, unwise counsel, lack of prayer, instability, or a divided heart. These are just some reasons but before this article is over, I am believing you will have the tools needed to look at quality decision making as a blessing and not a chore.

In the beginning of October, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “when we run from making decisions, we prolong our problems, open the doors of confusion, distractions, and false hope.” We make good decisions when we know the facts involved and we investigate the options. Decisions can stir up strong emotions but basing your decisions on emotions only will cause problems.

I personally pray over my decisions. Both my husband and I pray together over our decisions God is first in our life and marriage, we want Him in all our decision making.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” God gives us wisdom when we ask so therefore if you are wondering what to do ask God what you should do with the choice you need to make. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Trusting God and His word is one of the key elements in good decision making.

Oh, I have made bad decisions in my life like most of us, we don’t always realize it’s a bad decision until the outcome. Most importantly when we have made unwise decisions if we learn from them and apply it to our lives we become healthier in our decision making.

Secondly depending on our personality decision making may be easier. But no matter what type of personality you have, you can make a decision. I say that because we all were created with a will and using your choice which is your will for good decisions is best. Tell yourself you can make a good decision.

Thirdly, ask yourself these three questions. Is this decision God’s will and if the answer is yes, ask the question is it God’s timing. The timing is also an essential element in decision making. Sometimes the things we want are delayed for a season. That doesn’t mean it’s a punishment or something is wrong it’s just not the right time. Then ask yourself what is the way you need to go about it. When I process something, I’m reminded of these three things. An example is when we are planning a large purchase we save for it. Then it doesn’t become a hinderance to our budget.

Blessings on your decision making!

The promise is in the wait.

waiting…

There is renewal in waiting when you’re waiting on the Lord. It is how we wait and endure that defines the renewal. If we lose sight of who we are waiting on disappointment, discouragement, or depression can creep in. This passage in Isaiah gives us hope as we wait it shows the way Jacob and Israel thought, it exposes for us how are thoughts can affect us. There are promises in waiting on the Lord, don’t lose sight and heart in the wait.

Isaiah 40:27-31 “27 Why do you say, O Jacob and speak O Israel? My way is hidden from the Lord, And my just claim is passed over by my God? 28 “Have you not known? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary, His understanding is unsearchable 29 He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, 31 But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

We wait on God not man, so often we put our expectation on man looking at man as the one who gives us what we need and then our focus becomes distorted because man is just a man, but God wants us to wait on the Lord.

When you wait there is strength in the wait for you. Therefore, let your focus be aligned to God not self, man or the circumstance. That does not mean you just sit still and do nothing it means your spirit, soul and body is trusting in the Lord for the promise He gave you.

They shall mount up with wings ‘mount up’ preparation for flight effortlessly not striving. Mount up means to increase in something. As you wait you are increasing in the fruit of the spirit, Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control if you are waiting on the Lord with an expectancy from God. When our eyes get on man or earthly outcomes we can slowly slip into flesh. The flesh has fruit too, but it is rotten fruit adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries let us not think one is worse than the other their all fleshly, carnal and sin.

‘They shall run and not be weary’ running the race before you with renewed strength to endure. The race of life is not competition, comparing or cheating, but running daily the race of life is Kingdom living. Putting God’s Kingdom and ways first, with a heart to love the Lord with all your heart and mind and love your neighbor as you love yourself. You can run the race of life without the Kingdom of God, but it will account for you eternally as nothing.

They shall walk and not faint your walk with Christ is first private, then public if your private walk is not maintained it will affect your public walk eventually. We cannot walk on two different paths and maintain our walk with Christ. Waiting on God takes time, it is not a waste of time to wait, because in the wait we are renewed, refined and fired by the heat of the furnace of life.

God gives power to the weak and to those who have no might He increases strength. Those who wait on the Lord are promised renewed strength. If you are feeling worn out or frustrated, because it has not gone your way, it is time to surrender your disappointments, frustrations, and wait on God. Let the Spirit of the Lord renew you as you surrender your plans to Him. God has perfect timing.

What seems like a suddenly for someone really is God’s timing they have been in a ‘waiting on Him’ without anyone knowing. I have heard it said God is never late and never early or in a hurry. I don’t know if that is true, but I think at times it feels like it may be true. We must trust God in our life situations. Only He knows the outcome for all. When we keep our eyes on Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith you can rest assured, He will work in your life and bring about His plans and purposes.

It is good to have goals and plans I personally like organization; I like everything to have its place, but life can throw curve balls that are unexpected and hard to navigate. Trusting God in these times can bring a sense of calm even though in the natural, it is crisis. But God’s word gives us promises to hold onto. But those who wait on the Lord shall be renewed, the bible says, and I have experienced in my life renewal during hard and disappointing setbacks in delays. I have seen God take a mess and create peace when I surrender it to him.

Today if you are waiting in uncertainty put your trust in the Lord, He will take care of you.

What type of graveclothes are you wearing?

What are grave clothes? When we are born again, we have a regenerated spirit, but we still have the world on us sometimes. God wants you loosed from the trappings of the graveclothes. He wants us to let go of the things that are binding our hands, feet, hearts, and minds.

In John 11:43-44 “Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come forth!’ 44And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘loose him, and let him go.’”

Jesus’ friend Lazarus died and was buried. On the fourth day Jesus came and raised him from the dead. He said Lazarus come forth, Lazarus rose and came out of the tomb, but was still wrapped in graveclothes. Grave clothes are cloth stripes used for burial in ancient days.

These strips of cloth were wrapped around the body to where the entire body was bound. I’ve been thinking of the ways we can become bound even though we are regenerated in spirit we can continue to live bound. It is interesting to me that Jesus told the people who moved the stone to unbind Lazarus. Even then people were needed to help and so are they today. Sometimes we think I don’t need help, or no one understands but God does understand, and he uses others to help unbind us.

To me grave clothes are things that keep you stuck or things that are harming your growth. We are spiritual, emotional, physical beings and we can get stuck in many ways. Mindsets can be binding on your health and growth when we let the painful thoughts of the past or current situations keep us from moving forward, it becomes the grave cloth over the mind. Jesus died so we could have freedom from oppressive thoughts, harmful habits, and harmful relationships.

Eternal life isn’t just going to heaven it is life here and now. But we need to let our hands, feet, or mind be unbound. Can you imagine Lazarus fighting the people who were helping him? Unfortunately, at times we do hinder our help. But today is a good day to allow God to use his word to bring you the help you need and reach out to someone for the help you need.

What is keeping you bound today? What is limiting your growth, stopping you from moving forward, or holding you back? Surrender it to God by giving it to him and ask for his help. Then receive the help you need. My prayer is that if you are hurting today, you receive the help you need to move in the right direction.

The Marvelous Mind & Know your thoughts !

Have this mind…

What is The Shame-Train?

Shame has a way of following you like a continuous train. With repetitious thoughts that haunt you wherever you go. Shame is like a train in that it continuous with many different cars (thoughts) moving along the tracks of life. Wherever the locomotive goes the cars follow.

The cars of the shame train are called I should have, I can’t, not good enough, not pretty enough, not popular enough, not loved, no one cares about me, I’m to old, to skinny, to fat, not smart enough… Then there is a rejection car, fear car, anxiety car, unforgiveness, I will always be this way car…

Shame is a pervasive feeling and thoughts of I am bad, flawed, or damaged. It goes with you; it’s deep within your heart and mind. A few causes of shame are abuse in all forms, neglect, or conditional love. In each one of those there is a myriad of other issues.

How do we break free and jump off the shame-train? Through the power of God, His Word and by Christ love we are healed, set free and can jump off that train.

Isaiah 53:3 MSG “He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away, We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried-our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.” Jesus took our shame to the cross so that He could stand in our place, and we could be healed and set free.

As we are healed by God in the name of Jesus all sorrow of the shame is replaced with His acceptance and love. As a child of God, you don’t have to carry the pain of the past of what someone did or said to you, what you did or said either when we surrender to God the hurts, pain and sorrows He fills it with his healing. To be free of shame and jump off the shame-train name the car and surrender the pain to God. Process shame with releasing it and surrendering it over to God.

Forgiveness flows as you give it to God, sometimes we hold onto it through unforgiveness because we want retribution for what was done to us but God says vengeance is his so we trust he will deal with it we can let go.

Forgiveness frees you to heal and grow.

In the book “The Father’s Daughters” I talk about shame, rejection, and forgiveness. If you have never read it, I do recommend getting it on Amazon it has powerful prayers to pray for your healing and deliverance. It truly is time to jump off the shame-train, you can’t wait till it stops, because it never stops it just keeps adding more cars (thoughts). In Christ love there is peace, His peace. There is joy too.

Amazon.com: The Father’s Daughters: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection (9798705629275): Melton, Dr. Annette: Books

Who Is The Keeper Of Your Heart?

So often we do not recognize how important protecting our hearts are. We may think that we are guarded but if it’s not through healthy boundaries it can be guarded by hardness, defense mechanisms, repressed hurts, or apathy. But to truly guard our hearts we need to be the keeper of the key to our lives. Why should we guard our hearts and what does it mean to guard your heart? What are a few ways to recognize if you are or are not guarding your heart?

Our hearts are where the issues of life flow so guarding them would be wise. The Bible says in, Proverbs 4:23 NIV “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Proverbs 4:23 NKJV “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” The heart and mind are connected so when we want to guard our hearts, we must also examine how our thinking is affecting us. What types of thoughts have you been dwelling on? Do you reign in your negative thoughts or give them free reign?

First way to guard your heart is to be aware of your thought life. If we choose to mediate on the word of God, it helps us in our thoughts. When we are facing situations that are beyond our control staying focused on what the Word of God says will produce peace. There is a scripture that states in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trust in You.”

Secondly, learn to recognize what steals your peace. If we learn to stop and look at the situation from a calmer place, we will recognize what we need to do. Guarding your heart isn’t about shutting down it’s about placing boundaries in your life. It is about knowing what you will allow and what you will not allow. Taking a good look at your valves, goals, and desires. Setting boundaries helps us know where we start and stop. Boundaries are necessary to guarding your heart.

I was speaking with a friend recently and said that “You’re the keeper of the Key for you!” So often we forget that we can let our yes be yes and our no be no, which is boundary making.

Keys stand for trust, responsibility, power, and authority in the scriptures but also in everyday life. We do not give our house key to just anyone it’s only those we trust. It is the same principle for our life and guarding our hearts. You are the keeper of the key to your heart and life. Set healthy boundaries and learn to say no and yes.

The door to my heart has a name and His name is Jesus, He has saved and healed my heart. The key for me is to remember “I am my beloved’s, and He is mine and His banner over me is His Love.”

I am always responsible to guard my heart from the things that would pull me away from His peace, joy, and love.

Boundaries help you to recognize the peace stealers, joy wrestlers, and love thieves.

What are your boundaries…

The Marvelous Mind & Know your thoughts!

Three steps to overcoming offense

Offenses come and go but what happens when we hold onto them? What is an offense and how do we get rid of them from ourselves?

The dictionary’s definition of offense is “offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standard or principles.” Similar words for offense are “indignation, irritation, exasperation, wrath, displeasure, dislike, opposition, taken personally.”

In my terms offense occur when one person or group says or does something that another person or group does not like or believe and it causes the other person or group to hurt, fear or frustration.

In this reaction the fight or flight signal will be triggered, and we have a decision to address the issue or ignore it. Is it a real or perceived hurt would be a good question to ask yourself? Not everything said or done is intentional sometimes we can take it personally when the intent was not a personal attack. When we are consistently in a defend my opinion mode, we may become offended quickly.

Here are three steps to overcome offenses:

First admit where you are at in your heart and mind. Then look at it with this question is this a real or perceived hurt, fear or frustration.

Secondly, process it with truths. Is it just my opinion that is disagreed with or am I really hurt? Begin to look at truths about the situation.

To me opinions are just opinions there not facts. They are not good or bad they are just opinions. Today opinions are portrayed as truths, but they are not. For example, you can look at the sky and say it is a blue sky, someone else says it not blue it looks grey to me those are opinions. Is either one right maybe not it might look like light blue to another person. That is how each person sees it, so it is their opinion.

Third stage forgiveness. When we hold onto offense it turns inward and breeds anger, resentment and bitterness. Which keeps unforgiveness alive in us. It changes us internally because the heart and mind were affected by inner turmoil.

It is amazing how freeing forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a choice of your will. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the pain it caused, and it gives God the opportunity to heal the hurt.

Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…

The way out

As we have entered the New Year of 2022 it is time to release the pain of yesterday. Grief, shame, and pain can hold onto us if not processed, healed, and released. Today is the day to process shame. Understanding what shame is and how to heal from it is essential to walking free from it.

What is Shame? “Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The shame I am writing about is also an internal feeling of being flawed, not good enough or worthless. This doesn’t mean it’s true it is just a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, worthless.

As so many know the pain of shame replays in your mind and heart. It recalls every aspect of the hurt or trauma and it will cause the wound to stay because it is within you, hidden in memory and as events happen in our lives shame internalizes it through the original filter of pain. Which then we are triggered in pain and back to the original hurt without realizing why this current event hurts so much.

Things that cause shame is all forms of abuse verbal, emotional or physical etc. Statements made that are unloving or humiliating may cause shame. When an individual hears they are no good, rotten, or worthless that will cause shame. When a person is told regularly negative words against their personhood or their skills etc. it will affect the way they see themselves.

Three different ways to deal with shame that we all need to recognize:

First way to deal with the shame, for some people they feel the pain but they do not want to deal with it. So, they repress it and run internally from it. But it does not mean the pain has gone away. It is just hidden in the body and subconscious. Unfortunately, it will surface but not always at the proper times or ways. Unresolved shame turns into rage.

Second way to deal with the shame, is act like it does not hurt you, your over it and said, “I forgive.” This is like the first, but this is a conscious choice to pretend you are ok. ‘I’m ok’ that did not hurt me. But reality is it did bother you and you are lying to yourself. This comes back because it causes you internally to become hard and calculated, to form bitter judgements and opens us up to sickness physically or mentally.

Third way to deal with the shame is to allow yourself to release the hurt in a safe environment by processing the pain to come out. This opens you up to forgiveness towards the offender. If this shame has held on for years one may need to get free of the attached demonic oppression. This will release as you process forgiveness and renounce any bitterness etc. We do this by speaking the name of Jesus to the oppression. If you’re not able to do this on your own reach out for help. In Christ Jesus there is liberty to live a victorious life.

I pray that as you walk through the shame and pain you will sense God releasing you and healing your heart and mind from the torment of shame.

Why Forgiveness is a key? The Root of Shame

Three things to know about Hope…

What is hope? How does having hope help us? What is your hope in? First what is hope according to the dictionary, “it is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” “A feeling of trust.” Having hope helps us stay in expectancy it gives us a good feeling of a welcomed outcome. Hoping in a good outcome keeps one positive but what happens when your outcome does not happen the way you wanted? What can happen is despondency, despair or depression. But it doesn’t have to when you know where to place your hope it guards you from the D’s of life.

In dealing with the loss of someone’s hope, it is important to look at what kind of hope they placed their trust in. At times we can place our hope in things and people that we have no control over. Life can change in an instant and hope can be dashed within seconds. Unfortunately, we cannot foresee every aspect that life brings. This is when we need a solid ground for our hope to be in. Putting hope into an outcome or a person is not as solid as we can imagine. But placing our hope in God is a solid foundation.

Putting your hope in God means your trusting Him with your outcome in situations and life. As we go through this life, we can be assured that God is faithful to His Word. The word of God tells us in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.” Even though we may experience hardships, trials and sorrow God promises to walk through those with us.

The first thing about hope is ask yourself, ‘what are you placing your hope in?’ Ask yourself is it realistic, is it a doable plan are you prepared to wait. Count the cost! All dreams, plans, or visions for future take effort and time. Therefore, give yourself a realistic plan to hold onto. I choose to place my plans in God’s hands. I want His plan for my life. I have learned through the years He usually places a desire on your heart and as you prayerfully press into it you will know His will and plan.

The second thing to know about hope, ‘there is a waiting period.’ If we have it at once, we do not need hope. But what you do as you wait makes an enormous difference in your life and disposition. I choose to wait on God. I know He is faithful to His Word. He strengthens and gives us the grace to wait. His peace and joy will sustain you also as you wait. I choose to speak His Word aloud to myself at times because it produces faith to sustain a wait. The outcomes we want do not necessarily happen exactly the way we want but as your hope, trust and faith are placed in God He will produce in you a disposition that is maturing as you wait.

The third thing to know about hope is ‘God is our hope.’ Hebrews 6:19 “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, 20) where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.” This hope is a solid foundation in Jesus Christ sacrifice for our salvation. He bought our forgiveness. We are His Children when we repent and accept Jesus Christ and live in Him.

When hope wanes and the wait is long remind yourself God has you and is with you, because your hope in Him is the anchor of your soul. Your trust is placed in Him and not in yourself.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.”

Three Ways To Give Comfort

warm comfort

What brings you the most comfort? For some it’s a warm meal, a hug, a smile. Comfort comes in all kinds of ways, someone listening to us without advice, taking a stroll, watching a movie or just relaxing on the couch can bring comfort to some people. But when a person has an emotional hurt or is in distress comfort resembles a listening ear, a warm embrace or a kind word that recognizes the hurt.

The word comfort means “1) a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. 2) Or the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.”

How one receives comfort does not always look the same, but it produces the same feeling of relief.

Here are three ways to comfort someone that needs comforting. First, recognize their pain. Acknowledge you hear or see the pain. So often when we are hurting it is hard to express the pain therefore acknowledging the persons pain validates their suffering.

Secondly, do not try to fix it! Be a listener so that they feel empowered by your care for them. When we listen, people can speak without fear of judged or lectured. Real comfort is soothing not harsh or dogmatic.

Thirdly, ask them what they need. People know that they need comfort and what it is that they feel comforted by. Whether it is a hug, venting or snacks… Sometimes we need to say I forgive you or I’m sorry those words spoken in sincerity will bring comfort.

So next time you’re with someone who needs comfort be the listening ear or the warm embrace and allow yourself to be present for them.

How do you get Clarity Of Vision?

What is clarity of vision? How does one know they are seeing clearly? I had cataract surgery on my right eye one week ago but then the coming week the left eye. As I think about the difference in my right eye to my left, I realize cataracts slowly diminished my vision. It is so gradual that you do not realize it till its significant.

I don’t know why we get cataracts, but I do realize my clarity of sight was diminished. Which makes me think about life! How we will go along living with loss of vision and do not even realize it until something major happens?

I had the opportunity on Sunday evening to preach, I spoke about “It’s a matter of heart.” You can go to Facebooks ‘Central Church of God’ page in Portage Indiana to hear the message dated 10-3-21 While I sit here and type this, I also know that our hearts effect our vison. We can be so sure that something is one way and find out it is not because our heart was not in the right place. So today is the day to do a heart check.

The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 17:9-10 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it? 10) I the LORD search the heart. I test the mind, even to give every man according to the fruit of his doings.” Therefore, we cannot fully know what is in our hearts unless God reveals it.

Our hearts can deceive us to believe our motives are ok, our reasoning is right, and our opinions matter.

Your heart is the center of being, it consists of feeling, thoughts, beliefs, and personality. The Revell Bible Dictionary states, “Here is what a person is really like, in contrast to an external demeanor intended to impress others.” Which means it is where we see and hear through. How we see and hear is a matter of heart.

God wants to restore and revive hearts today. So that you can see and hear with clarity. He wants to heal wounded hearts. He wants to heal what you cannot see but what is affecting how you see.

The word restore in The Bible Dictionary means, “to renew, heal; make alive.” Some are going through the motions but have lost their first love, due to hurts that are unresolved. I believe God wants to show you what is in your heart to bring healing into your life. I heard the Holy Spirit say, “outside wounds are visible, inside wounds are not, they will manifest in many unhealthy ways, but the original wound needs My healing, My peace and restoration.” Today is the day to call on the Lord and receive healing and restoration in your heart. So that you can have clarity of vision.

Hebrews 4:12-13 “For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13) And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to Whom we must give accounts.”

God’s word searches our hearts and separates the thoughts and intents/ motives. We must be willing to let the word of God and the Holy Spirit search our hearts. Through humility we learn our motives, through repentance we receive the change that is need. Today is your day for clarity of vision. Allow God to search your heart and heal what is needed and restore what was lost.

Blessings,

Dr. Annette

Do you need clarity? Blurred Vision…