Category: Love

The Power of Forgiveness

What does forgiveness mean to you? How important is it? What are benefits to forgiveness? These are some of the questions we will answer.

Forgive means: “Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake; Cancel (a debt)”

Forgiveness means: “the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.” First with these definitions we see that forgiveness is a process. Pardon deals with the emotion of the offense and the feelings of resentment toward a person who hurt, offended or acted in a manner that we felt hurt by.

How important is forgiveness it is essential to your overall mental health? Unforgiveness plagues the mind and heart. It revolves around a continuous dialogue of thoughts in the mind that wants justice or revenge. But it keeps you locked into the pain, hurt, and negative emotions.

There are no benefits to unforgiveness. Why do we hold on to unforgiveness can only be answered by the person? Everyone gives different reasons, but it is usually the event itself. And the injustice of the hurt and sorrow. But in truth unforgiveness is only hurting us, not the one who hurts us.

Power in forgiveness is a key to unlocking a hurt. Forgiveness does not abolish the offense. It does help you to walk free of the pain and sorrow of the offense. Forgiveness places you in a place of restored peace. When we are unforgiving, we do not have true peace. We may have repressed the hurt, but it always comes back up.

Pain must be expressed, processed, and relieved or it is locked in the recesses of our mind and heart. Therefore, forgiveness is a process. Our minds must give the pain a voice through expressions and the emotions of the hurt is processed and then the words of ‘I forgive you for…’ will flow freely. Then the healing of God can fill the area the pain and sorrow lived, and you can be restored and filled with peace and joy.

Jesus bought forgiveness for us with God, but it also opened the door of empowerment of forgiveness for us to others. The word of God tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. There have been things in my life that have happened to me without God’s help and healing I would not be the person I am today.

I have seen many different individuals and couples walk through the process of forgiveness and receive the healing it provides. The power of forgiveness lives within each individual choice. Once you choose to forgive ‘someone’ the process starts and then you can be healed of the pain, hurt and sorrow of the offense through forgiveness.

Faithfulness how important is it?

What is faithfulness and how important is it to you? Whether its on the job or a relationship of any kind faithfulness is an essential character trait.

The dictionary defines “faithful 1) steadfast in affection or allegiance: loyal 2) firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty: conscientious” Merriam-Webster Dictionary

What is the difference between faithfulness and faithful? “Faithfulness is the state of being and faithful is allegiance, loyalty, fidelity?” Wikidiff.com

What does faithfulness mean to you? To mean it means that you honor your word still when it hurts, you do what you are saying and say whatever you mean. In marriage it is particularly important to honoring your vow of fidelity.

However, when it goes to our everyday life is faithfulness important still to ourselves? I believe it is. If I make a commitment to doing something and I change my mind because of a whim then I’m not being faithful to myself.

For example, as I was completing up my studies, I had several times I had to speak the truth to myself that I will be able to do it and I will finish it. All your reading and writing can on occasion become overwhelming, but I kept saying, I can do it.

Maybe as you’re reading this your facing something that you need to finish and that your feeling like quitting. Hold on because many of us face a certain point in life where we must decide ‘I’m not going to give up’ I’m finishing whatever I started.  This statement will produce faithfulness.

Most successful individuals have faced a disappointment and rather than giving up they attempted again and succeeded so can you. This mindset produces faithfulness.

God never let’s go of us He remains faithful even when we are not the bible states. That is merely one of his character traits which makes me feel secure in Him because we’re not perfect and he understands that. When you give up a dream or plan it will be able to make you feel beaten but when we go to God with our desires and plans he maintains a way of helping us drive past the pain, strength kicks in and we start to see the deep blueprint He has meant for us come into fruition.

Relationships require security and it’s constructed by faithfulness. Allow God to develop within your core faithfulness and watch it expand in all aspects of your life.

Resolving Your Own Anger…

What is anger? Why do we get angry? And how do we defuse our anger? These questions are important to understand in resolving anger.

First, anger is a feeling that signals that there is something wrong and fuels a reply. Anger is like a warning flag to let you know something is going on inside of you. It’s a secondary emotion because there is always something underneath anger.

What is underneath the anger pain/hurt, afraid/fear or frustration/frustrated. For example, when we’re hurt by a person our body replies with anger first. Knowing everything that is underneath the anger will help you to defuse and resolve the problem.

Hence the bible tells us to be ‘angry but sin not.’ Anger is not the sin but what you are doing with anger can lead to sin. How do you be angry and sin not?

The first thing is realizing what is beneath your anger is fueling it. How do you realize it asking yourself (self-talk) what is going on inside of you? When you answer it, you’ll be able to defuse the anger by resolving the problem.

The second step to resolving the anger is addressing the issue. Approach the problem with the person or situation. Unresolved issues tend to promote anger. It is better to confront in love then stew, brew and boil.

Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” This means address the problem right away the longer anger is undealt with the larger the problem will be.

The word anger means “a strong feeling of being upset or annoyed because of something wrong or bad. The feeling that makes someone want to hurt other people, to shout etc.; the feeling of being angry, anger”

Use your words to communicate what’s beneath your anger. Then release the individual who hurt or frustrated you by forgiving them.

If fear is beneath the anger start speaking the truth to yourself. Speaking truths improves our own internal process to settle down and the reality then is easier to view, hear and grasp. For example, your spouse bought something very expensive and you didn’t know about, and your finances are tight this would cause anger to trigger because fear would begin to make you think and feel your going have to do with out or you won’t have enough… Fear makes us think of future problems before it even happens so in reality it may not even happen.

If frustration is below your anger deal with the issue through placing boundaries. Dealing with a situation or person through setting boundaries so that you’re no longer taken advantage of.

Through a step-by-step method you can resolve your anger. Ask questions, address the issue of the anger and answer the problem through truths, problem solving or boundaries

Frustrations may sometimes be from unclear boundaries. Make sure that your boundaries are intact. People can’t runover your boundaries unless you let them. If they storm over them set tougher boundaries. Sometimes we step around our own boundaries and it causes frustration if that is the case forgive yourself.

To resolve anger ask yourself questions, address what is going on beneath the anger and respond to it with truth, set clear and concise boundaries where you start and stop.

Give yourself grace because anger is not a sin. Learning how to resolve anger helps to defuse it.

Kingdom living…

What is kingdom living? Why would the word of God tell us to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness? I wrote about worry in my last article in the blog and would like to continue with the rest of the passage in Matthew chapter six.

Matthew 6:31-34 “Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ Or ‘What shall we drink?’ 32) For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34)Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

In verse 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…” the meaning of seek is pursue, go after it pursue with all your heart the kingdom of God and His is capitalized meaning a person Jesus his righteousness is given to us when we are born again. We do not stand before God in our own righteousness. It’s Jesus’ righteousness therefore seek after the kingdom of God, because of Jesus’ righteousness you have access to the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is residing in you, walking with you, seek this because all those other things are going to be taken care of for you. Kingdom living understands God’s providing for all your needs.

In English seek means, “attempt to find, attempt or desire to obtain or achieve, ask for something from someone.” To me seeking the kingdom of God is being kingdom minded. It’s focusing upon and seeking God by way of pursuing him regularly through Jesus and His word.

Romans 14:17 “For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

Luke 17:21’…nor will they say, ‘See here’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed the kingdom of God is within you.”  These scriptures verify that the kingdom of God is in us through Jesus and by way of Holy Spirit. So how do we walk in it? That is the question…

Walking in Jesus righteousness, walking in Jesus peace and walking in Jesus joy. Are all three by the power of the Holy Spirit. The kingdom of God lives in you through Jesus in your spirit. You can walk in the kingdom of God by being led in the spirit. That’s the reason you can walk the way Jesus walked. Following the leading of the Spirit is how you walk in kingdom living. Being kingdom minded is also how you walk in the kingdom of God.

Jesus told the disciples beware of the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees. The doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees was traditions of men, wrong beliefs about God’s character and ways. Even though they believed in the written and oral word of God. There was no mercy, no love which is opposite of the kingdom of God.

We also should beware of our own traditions, opinions, attitudes because they obstruct the kingdom of God in us. We can get so self-righteous that we forget our righteousness isn’t ours it’s Jesus’s that’s when it is time to repent.

Walking in the kingdom of God is a pursuit of God daily not legalistically but a daily depending upon him for your needs. Spend time with Jesus in your alone moment in time of prayer, get alone together with Him by calling on Him and He will meet with you. Opening the bible to be read with expectation from God that he will talk to you through his word.

Worry pulls on our mind and heart that is the reason why Jesus said, “your heavenly Father knows what you need but seek first the kingdom of God.”

Jesus walked and was living in the kingdom of God through his spirit. He was in harmony to the Holy Spirits leading in the same way as you can be. He trusted God along with his needs as well as pursued the Fathers will.

Be on guard do not get caught up in the chaos of 2020. Whether you wear or else don’t wear a mask, political stuff, elections etc. “Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove” the bible says. We can be trusting God through this moment in time we all are living in. We can choose to walk in kingdom mindedness.

As I am writing this article, I heard God say, “Put me first-and watch what I will do.” If that is a word for you receive it because God cares for all your needs. God has it and he is faithful to provide it.  God cares and supports all his children.

Once you have confessed your sins and received Christ Jesus into your heart and made him Lord of your life you will become born again. You have the kingdom of God inside you and you can live in the kingdom of God daily.  

Hidden Beauty

There’s such a thing? I believe yes that exists because often beauty is being used as a physical reference on the look. But true beauty becomes much deeper than the look. 

As a young girl my mom would say, “true beauty is on the inside.” Which when I was young, I didn’t really like that thought. I’ve heard it also in this manner, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  When your young you believe that your looks or appearance is the most important thing.

As the adult I learned my appearance remains only skin deep, but my true beauty lies in Lord and my character reveals that beauty.

How you walk along with the hurting and afflicted reveals your beauty. Or how you are treating people without partiality also shows your character.  Good Character is demonstrated in our actions not merely words. Mom would also like to say, “actions speak louder than words.” Truth is that she was right.

My previous post was on consistency and this goes together with that topic.  Our character the way we are known is the only thing that you take with you after you die. Your life is summed up by good or bad character, how did you take care of those around you? What are they going to say when your gone?

We don’t live our life to please others, but we do need to be living our lives to please God. When I think just about the inner beauty God is developing in me, I can look at the situations around me that I must go through with fresh eyes. Eyes that will be open to change, eyes that are looking for what He is doing and not necessarily what I think.

Beauty is fleeting the bible tells us why since we all change get older and outward beauty turns out to be skin deep. But the purest beauty is a genuine reflection of an inward beauty of our existence.

Like this hydrangea in the image is hidden beneath the larger leaves it’s beautiful and you do not see it right away but then if you slow down and then take a good look you discover the hidden beauty of this one flower. God is developing hidden beauty in all his children.

All of God’s children are currently being developed and He remains refining each one of us men and women to create us into Christ likeness.  A good man and a lovely woman are the same, both are known for their outstanding character.

Don’t let your external appearance define who you really are. It’s what is going on the inside that matters allow God to build good character and Christlikeness with inside you these are the things that withstand time.

Proverbs 31:30 “charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Tune-up time…

When I think of tune-ups I think of my car.  New spark plugs, wires etc.  But when I imagine life, relationships or love tune- ups words like consistency, dependability or reliability come to mind.

What part of your everyday life, relationships or love require a tune-up? I think every now and then it’s good to get an assessment of life to look at what needs tweaking.

Let’s look at the word consistency why it is an important characteristic in our lives. According to the Dictionary consistency as a noun means “Conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy or fairness.”

How does that apply to life? How consistent someone is to a job, career, relationship will build trust. Therefore, consistency builds trust. When an individual is inconsistent, they seem to be haphazard, un-committed or not reliable because you will not be able to depend on them.

Life isn’t fair; life is just life- But when we are working hard and be consistent in our employment or relationships, we are going to build security in the areas needed for stability, dependability and growth.

Consistency is the glue that holds relationships together.  When we are consistent in life, relationships and love our actions, behaviors or practices can be relied on since their proven consistent.

Love isn’t a feeling it is a commitment to an individual and relationship. Commitment involves consistency. Consistency builds stability, security and growth into the relationship. Love increases when life, care and nurture is given to it inside a relationship. And relationships continue to increase when life, laughter, fun and security is placed into them in a consistent way. These are attitudes and behaviors that need to be consistent to reap the blessing of healthiness in their lives and relationships. Consistency is the glue that holds relationships together.

Whether it’s living in general or relationships of all kinds honoring your word is a consistent attitude and conduct to have. This builds your lives and empowers your relationships.

A few words that describe consistency or they are synonyms are stability, steadiness, dependability and reliability.

I personally live by way of the scripture “honor your word even when it hurts.” Which essentially means if you say you’re going to do it, do it. This produces reliability and dependability which produces a healthy mindset in living and relationships.

Here’s where the tune-up takes place.  Take a deep breath and exhale and see your actions, attitudes or words. Now question whether they are consistent to what you want to achieve in life, relationships and love? And if not, what do you have to do to them to make it consistent? Invite God to tell you how to be consistent in life, relationships and love. https://insightsbydrannette.com/integrity/ https://insightsbydrannette.com/do-you-need-clarity/ https://insightsbydrannette.com/little-things-matter/

Grief and Sorrows…

What is grief and sorrows? How long does it last and how do you walk through grief and sorrow?  These are a few of the questions we will look at.

Grief is “a deep sorrow especially that was caused by someone’s death” but not limited to death it’s a loss of someone or something. Grief will come from loss of job, relationship, health decline etc.… I think it’s important to understand that grief comes from many different types of loss.  In Psychology Today “Grief is the acute pain that accompanies loss.”

Sorrow as a noun “A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Sorrow as a verb “feel or display deep distress.”

I know they say grief has stages and each stage can be non-systematic the stages can flip back and forth one day denial next anger then back to denial to bargaining etc. But what is important to know is deep sorrow/grief for more than two years means you’re stuck in grief. I have read grief can last up to five years but that isn’t the deep sorrow aspect.

When I lost my mom in Oct 1999, I was having such a hard time. My mom was like a best friend to me. Not only was she my mom but we could talk about anything. She validated my life with positive affirmations, acceptance and affection.  We hugged coming and going. I loved her dearly.

So, having to say goodbye felt like I had to let her go.  I couldn’t let her go the thought of letting go was stuck in my mind I couldn’t. I wrote about this in my article “Grief Work.” But what I didn’t realize is my heart and mind said if I let her go, I will lose my mom, but reality was my mom with always be my mother.

I was trapped in grief. I had to learn I wasn’t letting her go I was rearranging my life. I have no regrets my mom knew I loved her and was available for her. She knew all of us loved her.

Sometimes though once we are stuck in grief the deep grief can take over.  If there was some unfinished business as to hurts, offenses, pain or unforgiveness we tend to believe we can’t have closure. The truth is you can have closure by going through inner healing. You can process by your words and give your grief a voice and forgive whatever needs to be forgiven.

Unforgiveness will leave you stuck in grief and stunt your life. That’s the same thing as a prison wall around your heart and mind. The forgiveness is for you not the offender. They must deal with what they did with God. But holding onto the unforgiveness in the direction of a person or loss just keeps past present and past hurts does not belong in your present life. It’s time for you to release the past and move forward beyond grief and sorrow and into hope for the future and love.

Isaiah 53: 3-4 states, “He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 4) Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.”

Jesus bore our sorrows and grief. It’s time to let go of the pain of loss and let Jesus heal your hurts, pains and sorrows. It’s time for the internal healing to take place so that you can walk free from grief and sorrow.

My prayer is that today is your day to be set free of the hurt and pain as you surrender the sadness and sorrow of loss, hurt, pain, and offenses to God the Father and through Jesus sacrifice you receive healing today.

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Peacemaker’s…

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

What are peacemakers? Who are the peacemakers in periods of injustice and racism? These are some of the questions we will be looking at. I like to get acquainted with the definitions of words according to the dictionary. We can say an idea of what a word means although sometimes we need to know exactly what it means.

From Websters online Dictionary. The word injustice means “lack of fairness or justice: an unjust act or occurrence.  God is just he does not condone injustice or racism of any kind.

Also, from Webster’s Dictionary the word racism means “1) a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. 2a) a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles.”  Webster’s Dict. On racial prejudice means “prejudice against or hostility toward people of another race or color or of an alien culture.”

“Racial discrimination is any discrimination against individuals on the basis of their skin color, or racial or ethnic origin Individuals can discriminate by refusing to do business with, socialize with or share resources with people of a certain group.” Wikipedia

I put those definitions here so that we could see and know exactly what injustice and racism is.  God doesn’t judge by outward appearances He judges by way of our hearts and actions. Once again God is just, and he doesn’t condone injustice or racism.

I haven’t posted for a week or so, I was helping a friend pack and move. Plus, I wanted to convey the truth of God’s word at the right moment.

We need to be pursuers of peace. Peace brings calm to situations. Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the LORD is right, and all His work is done in truth. 5) He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.”

I Samuel 16:7 “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart,”

Fighting or arguing about politics, religion, injustice etc. just keeps individuals divided. Division isn’t from God, unity and peace remains God’s way. We need to be solving the problem orientated.

Blessed are the peacemakers it says in the bible. Peacemakers make up the stand for justice and speak up. They don’t just place their heads in the sand. But peacemakers walk in truth, they are those who don’t necessarily need to argue to be heard. But they go forth in the truth, walk in peace, calmness and talk to bring healing, peace and unity. Be the peacemaker.

The word peacemaker in the Strong’s Greek Dictionary means “peaceable, peacemaker.” It comes from “to make or do; agree, hand together.’ Also, from ‘to join, lit or fig peace, quietness, rest and set at one again” This is a peacemaker.

Peacemakers aren’t co-dependent it’s not peace at whatever cost its truth and righteousness. They have debates and solutions. I remember Pastor Baker use to say, “If you’re not part of the problem or solution then don’t say anything.” In the United States we can talk about and voice our opinions but simply because you have a right to doesn’t mean it is going to produce peace and unity. Our words need to generate life not death and unity not division.

It’s time to search for real solutions which produce peace, justice and unity. We need to prayerfully ask God for justice and peace, and may the real peacemakers arise who walk in truth, unity and have genuine solutions.

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The Darkest Time…

The Silence

  

The crucifixion was yesterday, I’m afraid they’ll find us.  He’s gone!  They killed Him, the earth shook when he died, and the veil was torn.  What does all this mean?  I’m sad so extremely sad.  I cannot believe He’s gone.  He healed people I saw it with my own eyes he raised Lazarus from the dead! I saw it but now he’s gone…

What they must of have felt and thought…?  Their hopes and dreams of a better future crucified…  laying in a tomb guarded by soldiers.  It must have felt so devasting, the sorrow and pain of seeing him tortured and dying.  Oh, my heart is breaking they must of thought.

But what now?  The longest period in the history of humanity from his capture, death and subsequently silence.  The quiet is deafening the silence is terrifying, horrifying and but then to think one of the disciples betrayed him.

The silence of not actually knowing, he stated that he would come back so how, he’s dead…. the world’s darkest moment in history.

But what was happening in the silence.  In the spirit realm Jesus went to get the key to death and hades.   He conquered Satan and made a display of it.  He preached good news to people who never knew and set the captives free.

But in the physical world on the earth there remained silence an eerie deafening quiet.  Mankind had no indication that the victory was won on the cross.  People weren’t thinking about his return because the anguish, horror and sorrow remained consuming no more hope or joy just silence.   

As I have written this from my mind, I was imagining how they must have felt without knowing what tomorrow brings.  We know what tomorrow represents His resurrection, but they didn’t and in their silence was sadness, but joy was going to come in the morning for themselves and us. 

Fearful or Fearless…

In this season of everyone’s life fear has tried to grip the hearts of many people.  A healthy fear gives you wisdom during the Covid-19 pandemic to social distance, wash your hands for 20 seconds and be mindful when you must go the store for supplies.

Being fearful may be causing you to stay in a stressed manner.  Which then may cause your body’s immune system be compromised.  Anxiety and worry constitute a form of fear.  We cannot afford to allow our minds to dwell on the worries because it only causes you to remain focused on it.  It is vital to speak the truth to yourself.

Like for example ‘I have faith God will bring me through this.’  Find a scripture which speaks to you and recite the scripture to build your faith.  We must speak the Word of God to build our faith. 

“Perfect love casts out fear.”  What does it mean?  This means to have a better understanding of the love God has for you will push out any fears of what has been happening or what will happen.  This isn’t naive this is about the guarantee in who God is.

Fearless means that you’re not dwelling on terror or allowing yourself to be controlled by fear.  Fearless means your living in wisdom but not arrogance.  Your deeds are courageous, confident and bold.

Yesterday I was reading in Psalm 32:7 it states, “You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.”  It doesn’t say he takes you out of the trouble but he ‘preserves’ you from the trouble.  Preserve according to Webster’s Dictionary means, “to keep safe from injury, harm or destruction; protect. Keep uphold, save, sustain.” 

We can be fearless in a time of uncertainty with out being arrogant.  I read a Facebook quote that said “I trust God, but I wear my seatbelt…”  Trusting God doesn’t mean we arrogantly touch stuff and act foolish.  That is just goofy. 

I was speaking with my friend about this scripture and as I was talking, I sensed the anointing that God is creating over us through songs of deliverance.  Sometimes you’ll wake up with a song on your heart, that is God pronouncing over you through songs of deliverance.  When God speaks, he creates.  He creates over you with songs of deliverance.

Zephaniah 3:17(NLT) “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Allow the songs to birth courage and confidence to trust Almighty God in this uncertain time.  Choose being fearless over fearful.