Category: Love

A list of 12 Moneyless or Inexpensive Dates.

Birdwatching

Since Covid-19 dates have not yet been a priority. But couples need time together to have meaningful connections and dates assist in keeping couples thriving. I have thought about ways to have moneyless or inexpensive dates. While my husband and I are empty nesters we can have special moments most of the time. But empty nesters will also have to make special moments, or the connection can lose a little luster.

I once read Dr, Smalley said, “the shared time together should be meaningful for both.” So, I’m coming up with ideas to encourage you to think outside the box for you and your mate.

Here’s a list of inexpensive ways to help you think outside the box of chocolates for dates.

 1) Setting a date night of games such as board or card games can help build a link between a couple. It could be a fun time to share thoughts and laughter.

 2) Eat your dinner with candlelight. This puts a special atmosphere of relaxation and intimacy.

 3) Cook a meal with each other. This also creates a time of anticipation and conversation.

 4) Go for a walk with each other and don’t discuss kids or bills simply enjoy each other’s company and the nature around you. God created beautiful landscapes and animals to look at and appreciate.

 5) Since it’s snowing here where I live try sledding, tobogganing, ice skating, snowboarding or skiing. Since Covid-19 several states were not opened but are starting to open try thinking outside the box to enjoy each other’s company during the wintery days.

 6) Have a night of bowling either electronically (WII) or go to your local bowling alley.

 7) Lots of people take pleasure in puzzles make it a mystery you both find challenging and work together to solve it.

 8) Pop popcorn and watch your favorite movie or look at a new one that you have been wanting to see.

 9) Make a fire inside or out and roast the marshmallows or to make smores and sip your favorite drink. This time of year, a nice hot tea or cocoa sounds good to me.

 10) Going to the beach may be a pleasant time to enjoy each other’s company and see beautiful scenery and nature. Listen to the waves coming to shore can release stress and help one to relax also. Even in the cold a lake or ocean is a beautiful place to visit.

 11) Hiking and or bird viewing in a State or Federal park would be fun. With and without binoculars. In the winter searching for animal prints could be interesting too.

 12) If you like to eat out make it a no mobile phone date so that you both interact in talks that are stressless. I recommend that you do not discuss finances, children or bills. Reason Behind This Is That these topics can be stressful to deal with. The purpose of dates is to make a connection and enjoy each other’s company.

With or without any money couples can find enjoyable ways to spend quality time together if you’re willing to look outside the box.

Making memories with your sweetheart has a beneficial effect in keeping your connection open and intimate.

What is love supposed to look like?

Well, I think it depends on the type of love as I wrote in my last blog post ‘What is love?’ I’ve been pondering on 1 Corinthians description of love. Most of us can quote it we have heard it spoken in marriage services and in sermons. But quoting it is easy, living it is where the rubber meets the road.

First let me say, this passage was written to the Corinthian church not about marriage but about the gifts of the spirit and unity of the body. So therefore, it is an essential element for all of us to consider in how we deal with others. You see if you can speak in tongues but can’t walk in love then you’re like a sounding cymbal just a loud noise the bible says. Or if you prophesy but have not love then it’s worth nothing. ‘Love one another’ is a key to walking in Christ. So, what does love look like?

1 Corinthian 13:4-8 states, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5-does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6-does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7-bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8-love never fails.”

We are one body Jesus is the head of the body, so it is important to understand that we need to walk like he did in love. Love is not weak or enabling love is the character of God.

God is not an enabler he won’t excuse your unruly behavior because he loves us enough to give us consequences, so we repent and learn his way. His love is longsuffering but don’t ever take it for granted that just because you got away with it for now doesn’t mean you will get away with it forever. Real love gives consequences for wrong behavior. As parents we instruct our children through their choices and consequences. That is called discipline. Discipline is training it’s not punishment. Love trains a child.

As I’m reading through the bible, I see just how Holy and precise God is in His details. The bible says God is love, He doesn’t just love He is love, it’s his being.

So, as we are thinking on how love looks, acts or thinks lets look at different aspects of 1 Corinthians 13 love. First it suffers long and is kind, what does that mean? I think it means patience and kindness while you wait. Sometimes we can be impatient and unkind while we wait for change, answers etc. Most of us want it now not later. But waiting is good for us sometimes because it develops character and maturity.

Love does not envy. Envy is wanting what another has with discontent with what you have. Envy becomes a grueling task master because it is never satisfied. But love appreciates when someone else has or is getting and is happy for them.

Love does not parade itself. Parade puts on a show, be genuine in your actions with others it’s not about how great we are it’s about compassion and kindness. Parade to me means we don’t have to tell everyone what we’ve done for someone it’s their testimony let them tell it. Don’t self-promote let someone else tell your good qualities. Unless you’re applying for a job then it’s the right time to tell your qualities.

Love is not puffed up. Puffed up to me is pride, pride opens a door to destruction. It’s what the bible described, ‘pride before a fall’. Its love to not believe that you are better than another. Remember once you are elevated in a promotion to stay humble so that pride doesn’t enter. It’s not wrong to excel God gives promotion. It’s a heart attitude that puffs you up.

Love does not behave rudely. Rude is ‘short, brief or abrupt’. Most of us don’t try to be rude but if we are stressed, overburdened we may come off in rudeness. It doesn’t excuse it but recognize your fault and say you’re sorry.

Love does not seek its own. In this it does not always look for it’s own way. Love is open to other opinions and ways of doing things. Why because opinions are just opinions not facts. It doesn’t always have to be our way of doing it. But it should be God’s way always.

Love is not provoked. Provoked means ‘stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion. Typically, a strong or unwelcome one) in someone’. Love weighs its response, it doesn’t react. When we react, we have triggered? To overcome this, understand the why you triggered and let God heal it.

Love thinks no evil. This goes to the core of our thought life. We may not say it but if we are thinking it its eventually coming out of our mouth. Evil here does not stand for the dark side it is the bad, unloving, thoughts we think about someone. How we think affects us in a lot of ways. Look for the best in people.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn’t back iniquity, wrong behaviors, or injustice but it loves righteousness and truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Since the apostle was writing to the church it’s important to remember churches are made of people. People are different and we need to bear all things in love. Obviously not abuse but the differences need to be endured. Be patient and kind and let God fix what needs to be changed.

We can believe the best for situations and trust God with the things we do not understand. Hope is essential for life and believing God will work out the stuff. It says love endures all things. I think of the hardships people go through in starting business, groups, churches etc. and if they had quit there would not be the business, group or churches. Love never fails.

Let’s be like Jesus and love like He did.

What is love?

Love is such an essential element in our lives. So much so mankind dedicated a day in February to it for couples. But God loves us 24/7 365 days a year for eternity.

His love is faithful, powerful and healing. It is a restorative love; we can’t earn it, nor do we deserve it, but He freely loves us.

The bible describes distinct kinds of love through the Greek language such as ‘Philia love’ it is the brotherly love ( friendship/brotherly). For your friends, family etc. this type of love is shown in affection, and companionship. It’s the type of love we show our family even when we don’t like something they are doing.

The word ‘Storge love’ is empathy love. This Greek word shows love through compassion and empathy. Although this word is not in the bible Jesus showed this love many times when it said he had compassion on them and healed them or feed them. We can have empathy love for people we do not know or do know. It is still a form of love. The old testament tells us in Isaiah that God feels our infirmities. That is the same as empathy love. When Jesus was moved with compassion, he empathized with the hurting and sick among him, he felt their pain and hurt.  

There is the ‘Eros love’ which is the Greek word for romance love. The valentine day love. This type of love is sexual attraction. It is emotionally and physically based.  

And then there is ‘Agape love’ God’s love. The Greek word agape love is unconditional. The perfect love, no conditions. This is the kind of love that laid down its life for us. Jesus loved us unconditionally before we knew Him, he died for us. The bible says nothing separates us from his love. Yes, you read it right nothing. Most of us at first do not understand that type of love because we live in a world of conditions. But nevertheless, it is God’s love, and he does love us unconditionally.

But that does not mean there are not consequences for sin or disobedience. There are physical and spiritual laws that if we break them there are consequences but just because you endure a consequence does not mean God does not love you. It just means you are reaping from something you sowed.

So, as we approach valentine’s day tell the one you are romantic with Happy Valentines’ day! But remember that love has expressions through actions. Show love towards your fellow man with ‘philia love’ and have ‘storge love’ for those who are hurting but most importantly let God’s agape love flow through you to all.  

The Evergreen and the tree of the Cross

I have been thinking about how the evergreen tree is a symbol of Christmas we decorate it and put lights on it. The joy it gives us to see the decorations and lights shining bright. How it symbolizes Christ being alive and shining bright in our lives.

Then I thought about the cross and what type of tree was used to make it. Some say it was an olive, cypress, or pine tree some say another type but whatever type it was its purpose was to make a sacrifice for Christ to die on. What courage, selflessness and self-denial it took to be willing to go through the agony of it all.

We know the bible says it was gruesome he was disfigured beyond recognition. What love he has for us to have been willing to go through the torture of the crucifixion so that he could forgive our sins. Mankind needed a savior and Jesus is that Savior.

As our world has gone through a pandemic it is more visible the need of a Savior. How one microscopic virus could altar lives around the world and kill 1.88Million people. Every human has had someone in their life or family somehow touched by the Covid-19 virus. To go through this type of pandemic and not know Jesus would be very scary. I am thankful that His presence goes with me and that no matter what I face He is my Lord and Savior.

As I thought about the article, I wrote called What type of tree are you? I thought of the evergreen living as an example of life all year through and the crosses tree standing for sacrifice, I thought of ways we can shine bright in a dark and hurting world.

One way is to be willing to offer a smile, say hello and make conversation with them. You can also offer prayer if you see or hear of a need. For example, we went to the store yesterday and the cashier was visibly in pain so I mentioned she must be in pain she said yes told me why and I offered to pray for her. I have in the past prayed at that moment but yesterday I discerned to just tell her I would pray.

Today a friend and I went shopping and we had three different women talk to us about what we were buying just being friendly in a time when social distancing has made some scared to get close. My friend Teresa told me she heard a message about it should not be called social distancing it should be called physical distancing. Humans need socialization. We need interactive conversations, times of refreshing with others. Today was that for us and those women who approached us.

Another way to shine for Jesus is in helping others. Sometimes people need a hand of help physically or monetarily when you sense it do what you can. I try to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in giving. Usually, my husband and I get the same leading. There are other ways to give such as, clothing, food, household supplies, furniture etc. the right way to give I believe is to give what is in good condition and clean. Because when we give it should be done as unto the Lord and not for self-gratification. It should be done in secret do not shout about it.

Another gift we can give is our time. Time is the thing we so guard, but we often use it selfishly. Time is the one thing you cannot get back but when invested in another person the blessing is beyond description.

What Kind Of Tree Are You?

There are so many different trees in the world. We need trees but then are all trees good trees? Just to mention a few there are pine, maple, oak, walnut, weeping willows, birch trees. Some of these are stronger than others, some supply food for animals and some their roots are not deep. As I think of an analogy of trees and people, I asked what kind of tree are you?

In Ezekiel 47:12 “Along the bank of the river, on this side and that will grow all kinds of trees used for food; their leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for medicine.”  This scripture refers to the trees that are along the riverbank that produces leaves for medicine (healing). As I pondered this vision Ezekiel had I sensed this question. What kind of tree are you? Life has ups and downs but through each season we can continue to grow deep healthy roots that produce health and wellbeing. As we abide in Christ, we receive from him streams of living water.

The river in the vision comes from the throne of God which stands for the Holy Spirit flowing in our lives. Wholeness and healing come from God. The trees along the bank of the river are receiving nourishment from the river of life. Rev 22:1-2 “And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. 2)In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

We also can receive healing and wholeness from God and live in the river of life. In the vision of Ezekiel 47:7 “When I returned, there, along the bank of the river, were very many trees on one side and the other.” The practical application of this verse is abiding in Christ. Living in his stream of love for you and others, produces fruit in our lives. Christmas is fast approaching a time of celebration of Jesus birth. A time to reflect on the love of God towards mankind.

Living in God’s flow brings peace, joy and righteousness. What type of tree are you? Can be determined by what type of fruit we are producing. The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” This is the fruit which matters this is what is generated when we abide in Christ and live in the Spirit. This is the gauge of our flow. It is wisdom to take a close look at our fruit.

Our fruit is a sign of whether we are in the flesh or the Spirit. What kind of tree are you? Are you a tree that abides or one that does its own thing? Are you one who drinks from the river of life or are you drinking from your own cistern.

Ask yourself what kind of fruit am I producing? The answer will tell you were you have been living. If you do not really like the answer the solution is repentance and forgiveness. Ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and allow him to change your fruit as you abide (live) in him. Receive from the tree of life and live.  

How to be a Kinder You…

What is kindness? It is a simple question but is it experienced by you daily? According to the dictionary kindness means “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” This month is Thanksgiving in the United States and so often we focus on what we are thankful for. But would it not be better to be somebody is thankful for. Meaning your act of kindness expressed in a manner that the individual receiving is surprised and thankful for the act of kindness.

I realize this year comes with uncertainty and hardships but we all can end the year 2020 with a ‘kinder you.’ How is kindness expressed? I believe through acts or services that help or bless someone else. Whether it is a random act or a planned act it still has a positive effect on someone. There are many ways to show kindness, such as a card letting someone know you are thinking of them, a phone call, text or message. These are simple but beautiful ways to express acts of kindness.

Handmade or store-bought items can lift a person’s spirit and let them know they are cared for. Another type of kindness can be monetary or services that helps someone in need. In a time of uncertainty people need kindness. I have seen cranky individuals crack a smile when a baby giggles or smiles at them. It is just proof to me that even the hardest of hearts wants somebody to be kind.

Since most of us remain wearing masks it is difficult to see the smiles. But you can smile through your mask and people will sense it. Let’s all be a ‘kinder you’ this season and share kindness wherever you are however you can.

What is a good relationship?

What does it take to have a good relationship? Whether it is marital, friendship, or family there are some qualities that exist in good relationships.

The first vital quality of a good relationship is honesty. Honesty gives security for any relationship it builds trust. Without honesty trust will be lacking. Without trust there will be no security in the relationship.

The second quality of good relationships is love. Love is a quality not based upon performance but on commitment to the relationship. Commitment is necessary for the relationship to thrive. Commitment is the adhesive in love for relationships.  The bible states in I Corinthians 13:4-8 “What is love it is patient, kind, it is not envious, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth it always protects, it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

So, does a good relationship mean there is no disagreements? Absolutely not this means that you are willing to work through them. The third quality of a good relationship is forgiveness. Sometimes we say stuff wrongly or hurt the other person with out realizing it. You work through these situations by asking for forgiveness or giving forgiveness.

The fourth quality of a good relationship is significant communication. A good relationship extends beyond the trivial pleasantries and brings out the conversations of feelings, wants and needs. It is so important to the person to listen to their words and understand their meaning.  If you do not talk clearly what you are thinking, feeling and meaning the other individual will be left with their own interpretation of what you are saying. Never stop the discussion without understanding what the person meant.

The fifth quality of a good relationship is faithfulness. Faithfulness is demonstrated in honoring your word. Faithfulness to your word means you do what you said you would do. Faithfulness also means you are loyal. These are qualities that build trust and security in relationships.

All these qualities of honesty, love, commitment, trust, security, significant communication, forgiveness, and faithfulness develop good relationships. I would inspire you to find ways to grow your relationships with these qualities.

What Is A Prayer request?

Prayer requests constitute the petitions to God. The bible tells us to ask God and to be thankful. Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God…” It is telling us to be anxious for nothing and present your request unto God with thankfulness. I do not think it means be thankful for the issue but be thankful along with the issue because God is with us and has been working on our behalf and everyone else.

My husband’s open-heart surgery is tomorrow, and we are grateful he can have his heart repaired and that he does have God going into the operating room with him.

I am requesting a prayer for him that the surgeon has wisdom and that all areas of need are met with favor. I believe it honors God to ask for prayer and it shows our faith in him.

I appreciate your prayers for Roger, and I. Thank you,

Dr. Annette

What is Compassion for the individual?

What is compassion? “Compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” If you cannot feel the hurt of one how can you be compassionate for many. On a personal level compassion should be offered in the daily opportunities. Do you look to be compassionate with other people? God gives us all the opportunities to be caring in an individual way.  

It is amazing to think about Jesus as well as how he healed the sick and then set the demonic free. As I think about all the things He did while he was living on earth it astonishes me that He genuinely cared about individual needs.

Such as the lady at the well, she needed a heart change, the lady with the issue of blood she needed a miracle. Or the woman who had seven demons cast out and became a follower or the lady who poured oil on his feet and wiped it with her hair, her need was expressing her worship to him and his need was to prepare for his burial.

Peters mother-in-law had a fever he cured her, and she served them. The mother whose last son alive died, He raised him from the dead so that she would not be alone. Sometimes we could get focused on the larger miracles which Jesus did. Though his concern for individuals and his sympathy for them speaks to us as individuals. Jesus also healed and delivered men on an individual basis too. The nobleman’s son healed, a sick man at the pool who could not get up on his own healed and the list goes on…

God heals all aspects of us spirit soul and body. His compassion is limitless. When you have been wounded it may cause emotional, physical or mental difficulties but God wants to express his compassion towards you. God cares about each aspect of your life. There are times we will need inner healing for hurts, traumas and pain that we suppressed, and it is okay to seek help.

God’s compassion is greater than our understanding. You are valuable and have worth. You were created by God and he wants to save, heal and restore you. He sent Jesus to die so that you can call on him today and receive from his compassion and mercy.

Almighty God knows you by your name call on Him and he will answer you.  

Have you checked your tongue lately?

What is a tongue check? What causes our words to come out? How important are your words, do words really matter? I believe they do! Have you checked your tongue lately?

The power of the tongue!

We are living in a day and age where words are used flippantly as if a lie is truth and that there are no absolutes but is that a truth? How do you judge a truth you might ask? Before the 1900’s truth and morality was judged by absolutes of the Word of God. But since relativism started back centuries ago and moral relativism was introduced in 1904 but not widely accepted until the 40’s and really took off in the 60’s truth in America started to slip into a slippery slope of moral relativisms and no absolutes. But just because society decided there are no absolutes does that mean it is true? The answer is no, therefore our words still matter.

Our words can be faulty and based on our opinion’s, assumptions, beliefs and fact less but when backed by God’s Spirit and truth our words are powerful. I have seen God’s word make a change in people’s lives. The bible states in Proverbs 18:21 “Life and Death are in the power of your tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Jesus said out of our heart our mouths speak. What types of words are you speaking? Are they words of life or death? A tongue check is done according to the word of God and it will show what those words produce.

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus said to the religious “Brood of vipers! How can you being evil, speak good thing? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” This would mean a tongue check involves a heart check. You can change your words but if your heart is not changed and healed the words will eventually come out again.

But in Matthew 12:35 Jesus states, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.” This statement by Jesus shows us our hearts store treasures of good and bad. He goes on to say your words will be judged. Every word spoken wow that makes me stop and think what have I been saying?

Jesus adds in verse 36 “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.” Men meaning mankind so this includes everyone will give an account for everything we speak wow that is a little scary especially if you think words do not matter. If you judge someone else’s words and then do not judge your own words how will you give account for that?

Jesus went on to say in Matthew 12:37 “for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” We need to let the Holy Spirit convict us if we are speaking words that do not produce life. I pray our words be seasoned with salt, truth and grace. I do not know what words you speak but God knows. Let His Holy Spirit and Word do a tongue check on you today.

I pray this scripture for all of us today. Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”