Category: Life

What is love?

Love is such an essential element in our lives. So much so mankind dedicated a day in February to it for couples. But God loves us 24/7 365 days a year for eternity.

His love is faithful, powerful and healing. It is a restorative love; we can’t earn it, nor do we deserve it, but He freely loves us.

The bible describes distinct kinds of love through the Greek language such as ‘Philia love’ it is the brotherly love ( friendship/brotherly). For your friends, family etc. this type of love is shown in affection, and companionship. It’s the type of love we show our family even when we don’t like something they are doing.

The word ‘Storge love’ is empathy love. This Greek word shows love through compassion and empathy. Although this word is not in the bible Jesus showed this love many times when it said he had compassion on them and healed them or feed them. We can have empathy love for people we do not know or do know. It is still a form of love. The old testament tells us in Isaiah that God feels our infirmities. That is the same as empathy love. When Jesus was moved with compassion, he empathized with the hurting and sick among him, he felt their pain and hurt.  

There is the ‘Eros love’ which is the Greek word for romance love. The valentine day love. This type of love is sexual attraction. It is emotionally and physically based.  

And then there is ‘Agape love’ God’s love. The Greek word agape love is unconditional. The perfect love, no conditions. This is the kind of love that laid down its life for us. Jesus loved us unconditionally before we knew Him, he died for us. The bible says nothing separates us from his love. Yes, you read it right nothing. Most of us at first do not understand that type of love because we live in a world of conditions. But nevertheless, it is God’s love, and he does love us unconditionally.

But that does not mean there are not consequences for sin or disobedience. There are physical and spiritual laws that if we break them there are consequences but just because you endure a consequence does not mean God does not love you. It just means you are reaping from something you sowed.

So, as we approach valentine’s day tell the one you are romantic with Happy Valentines’ day! But remember that love has expressions through actions. Show love towards your fellow man with ‘philia love’ and have ‘storge love’ for those who are hurting but most importantly let God’s agape love flow through you to all.  

Two ways to know your Plan?

I think plans are good it is important to understand what you are doing and how to make it happen. That could pertain to all areas of life. Every personality is not happy with making plans some individuals like to be more spontaneous. Plans may be as simple as a grocery list or making life goals. I personally like having plans. It helped in finishing my education.

Today while reading the Word of God I was quickened with this scripture. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I love that God has a plan for each one of us. This thought gives me the strength and grace to succeed in life. Sometimes I will make a plan, but it does not always succeed but when my plans are in the Lords hands his plans always prosper.

If you are thinking as you read this well, I just do not know the plan. I to have been in your shoes. But God has a way of telling or showing us his plan.

One way God tells us his plan for us is the desires in your heart. The things you would love to do but think you cannot, and it does not go away. I would encourage you to take that step. Sure, it is a little scary, but you will know after you start. You may be thinking but what if I fail but what if you don’t.

When I started this blog, I had no idea what to do or what it would look like etc. But I knew I had a desire to write. So, I researched how to do a blog and thought about what I would like to write on which led me to relationships, life and love. It is the topic I taught and counseled on the most. So, I took a step!

Another way to know your plan is through prayer. The best plans can take time so bath your plans in prayer. Seek out Gods plans he will reveal them to you. Many years ago, I wrote a couple manuscripts that I never did anything with. Never thought about publishing them until now. I recently finished a book, and I will publish it. The proofreader is done, and the graphic designer is working on the cover and back. I am excited about this, but I would not have taken the step if I had not been encouraged to produce a product.  

I have said all this to inspire you to make a plan and take a step. Think big, investigate whatever it takes to carry out your goal then push through to make it happen. Give yourself grace too because somedays are harder than others.

Most importantly do not give up on your dreams. If it does not happen now the directive does not mean it will not. It might not be the right timing but that does not mean it is not going to happen. Just keep encouraging yourself with the Word of God.

I do realize though it takes a step no matter what it is in life you still must start somewhere. So, keep planning keep dreaming and doing the steps needed to make your plan and dreams come true.

Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV “for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

How is your day going?

Have you ever had one of those days where it starts out great and mid-way it takes a turn towards stress Ville? Well truth be told I think we all can relate to those days.

Some days are sunlit others raining, cold, foggy. Every day is not easy and has challenges but when your life is not based on your day you come through the challenges with growth. If you base your day on certain outcomes, then you’re setting yourself up for hurt and failure.

We all need goals to set to get things done but giving ourselves grace to carry out what you want and need to get done and leaving what is not for another day without guilt is healthy living.

Guilt just weighs you down it adds stress that we just do not need to put on ourselves. There are enough things that can cause stress but adding it to yourself is counterproductive. There is a difference between guilt and conviction. Conviction leads us to repentance and change. But guilt causes internal feelings and thoughts of less, not good enough, feeling of condemnation thoughts of not measuring up. Knowing the difference helps one to be free to enjoy your day as you walk along the day.

When we do wrong, we need to recognize by admitting it repent and ask for forgiveness. And do not do it again. But guilt is different it is a pervasive feeling of not measuring up to a standard one has put on themselves or by others. It can manifest in standards of all kinds, time, behavior, feeling, opinions etc. It is a grueling task master. Usually, its root is in performance orientation or perfectionism.

So, if you’re feeling it’s a bad day ask yourself why? If your why is based in feelings, then ask yourself what is the feeling I’m having based in? That answer will help you to recognize if it is guilt, based in performance. Then give yourself permission to make mistakes, lower expectations etc. God gives us grace it is time to apply that to yourself.

How is your day I asked? To me everyday is a good in the Lord. Last night we had found a mouse in the house, he ate a hole in the dogs’ food. Then a little later I reached up to put the pepper grinder in the cabinet it fell, broke and shattered on the floor and lots of peppercorn was all over the kitchen. I was tired but it did not change my day or mood because accidents happen. We had company for dinner too.

Give yourself permission to enjoy each day no matter what goes on around you and you will feel less stressed.

What exactly is your hope in?

Recently I had read Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” This made me think about hope and how it affects us. How do you respond when something you desire does not happen? What type of mood does it produce in you? These are a few questions we will look at.

“Hope 1) a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. (expectation desires)” “2) means want something o happen or be the case. (expect, anticipate)”

It is obvious that hope deals with expectations and desires. But what is the root the foundation of our hope is it in something or someone? If you place your hope in people or things you are setting yourself up for disappointments but if you are placing your hope in God, you will have a solid rock to rely on.

We all have expectations and desires for certain outcomes in life. And that is a good thing but if the desire or expectation has not been met how do you handle the disappointment? Here are few different ways people handle disappointment.

Some people handle the disappointment with bitterness. They stew and brew over the situation and blame someone else. This is not productive. The bitterness eats away at the soul it is not healthy nor does it generate life.

Some individuals handle disappointment with self-pity. Self-pity makes the person feel bad about themselves. This also is an unhealthy way to deal with disappointment. Self-pity wants you to indulge in it and it will open the door to situational depression. This also does not produce life.

With both these outcomes it shows us that the hope was in something or someone instead of in God. The bible gives us many verses to place our hope in God. Placing your hope your desires and expectation in God and on his word is the solid foundation.

1 Peter 1:13 “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

A Biblical hope is’ confident expectation in God.’ What if it still does not happen the way you want? Then go to God for the answer. I have experienced times where I thought something would go a certain way I was expecting, and it did not. This is when we must reevaluate. Is this God’s will, plan and time?  Was I asking and expecting my will in the situation?

The perfect plan is God’s not ours. His desire is for you when you are his child but understanding where your hope rests is important to overcoming in disappointment. Place your trust and hope in God. Be filled with his word put your expectations in God and you will be at peace.

Disappointment do’s and don’ts

The Evergreen and the tree of the Cross

I have been thinking about how the evergreen tree is a symbol of Christmas we decorate it and put lights on it. The joy it gives us to see the decorations and lights shining bright. How it symbolizes Christ being alive and shining bright in our lives.

Then I thought about the cross and what type of tree was used to make it. Some say it was an olive, cypress, or pine tree some say another type but whatever type it was its purpose was to make a sacrifice for Christ to die on. What courage, selflessness and self-denial it took to be willing to go through the agony of it all.

We know the bible says it was gruesome he was disfigured beyond recognition. What love he has for us to have been willing to go through the torture of the crucifixion so that he could forgive our sins. Mankind needed a savior and Jesus is that Savior.

As our world has gone through a pandemic it is more visible the need of a Savior. How one microscopic virus could altar lives around the world and kill 1.88Million people. Every human has had someone in their life or family somehow touched by the Covid-19 virus. To go through this type of pandemic and not know Jesus would be very scary. I am thankful that His presence goes with me and that no matter what I face He is my Lord and Savior.

As I thought about the article, I wrote called What type of tree are you? I thought of the evergreen living as an example of life all year through and the crosses tree standing for sacrifice, I thought of ways we can shine bright in a dark and hurting world.

One way is to be willing to offer a smile, say hello and make conversation with them. You can also offer prayer if you see or hear of a need. For example, we went to the store yesterday and the cashier was visibly in pain so I mentioned she must be in pain she said yes told me why and I offered to pray for her. I have in the past prayed at that moment but yesterday I discerned to just tell her I would pray.

Today a friend and I went shopping and we had three different women talk to us about what we were buying just being friendly in a time when social distancing has made some scared to get close. My friend Teresa told me she heard a message about it should not be called social distancing it should be called physical distancing. Humans need socialization. We need interactive conversations, times of refreshing with others. Today was that for us and those women who approached us.

Another way to shine for Jesus is in helping others. Sometimes people need a hand of help physically or monetarily when you sense it do what you can. I try to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in giving. Usually, my husband and I get the same leading. There are other ways to give such as, clothing, food, household supplies, furniture etc. the right way to give I believe is to give what is in good condition and clean. Because when we give it should be done as unto the Lord and not for self-gratification. It should be done in secret do not shout about it.

Another gift we can give is our time. Time is the thing we so guard, but we often use it selfishly. Time is the one thing you cannot get back but when invested in another person the blessing is beyond description.

What Kind Of Tree Are You?

There are so many different trees in the world. We need trees but then are all trees good trees? Just to mention a few there are pine, maple, oak, walnut, weeping willows, birch trees. Some of these are stronger than others, some supply food for animals and some their roots are not deep. As I think of an analogy of trees and people, I asked what kind of tree are you?

In Ezekiel 47:12 “Along the bank of the river, on this side and that will grow all kinds of trees used for food; their leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for medicine.”  This scripture refers to the trees that are along the riverbank that produces leaves for medicine (healing). As I pondered this vision Ezekiel had I sensed this question. What kind of tree are you? Life has ups and downs but through each season we can continue to grow deep healthy roots that produce health and wellbeing. As we abide in Christ, we receive from him streams of living water.

The river in the vision comes from the throne of God which stands for the Holy Spirit flowing in our lives. Wholeness and healing come from God. The trees along the bank of the river are receiving nourishment from the river of life. Rev 22:1-2 “And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. 2)In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

We also can receive healing and wholeness from God and live in the river of life. In the vision of Ezekiel 47:7 “When I returned, there, along the bank of the river, were very many trees on one side and the other.” The practical application of this verse is abiding in Christ. Living in his stream of love for you and others, produces fruit in our lives. Christmas is fast approaching a time of celebration of Jesus birth. A time to reflect on the love of God towards mankind.

Living in God’s flow brings peace, joy and righteousness. What type of tree are you? Can be determined by what type of fruit we are producing. The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” This is the fruit which matters this is what is generated when we abide in Christ and live in the Spirit. This is the gauge of our flow. It is wisdom to take a close look at our fruit.

Our fruit is a sign of whether we are in the flesh or the Spirit. What kind of tree are you? Are you a tree that abides or one that does its own thing? Are you one who drinks from the river of life or are you drinking from your own cistern.

Ask yourself what kind of fruit am I producing? The answer will tell you were you have been living. If you do not really like the answer the solution is repentance and forgiveness. Ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and allow him to change your fruit as you abide (live) in him. Receive from the tree of life and live.  

Are You Stressed Out?

What does it mean to be stressed? How do you deal with stress? In my blog post How To Handle Stress And Anxiety I discussed the meaning of stress and anxiety in a practical way.  But are you feeling stressed out? These are some of the questions I have been pondering for days. I’m normally not stressed out but if you add enough stress to anyone you can become stressed out. It’s how we deal with stress and what we do to prevent it from consuming us is exactly what we will be discussing.

I have like everybody else been affected one way or another by Covid19. It has changed our routine, caused hesitation and at times isolation. Any one of these three items can cause a person to feel stress but adding all three can cause high anxiety, fear and feelings of overwhelming uncertainty.

As I write this, we had a high stressed week of dealing with a medical provider who no longer accepts our insurance. This caused us a lot of stress. Since my husband just had open-heart surgery and six days later a pacemaker put in it is not the time to change medical insurance. I have told you this so that when you are reading this you will understand I am speaking from my experiences too.

Let us only add to this week’s stress Saturday evening at nine pm we discovered our furnace was not working. And the company we usually call was not answering but in their defense I did not have their emergency number. Thankfully my daughter knew of Petit Home Services which came out to work on our furnace.

Life is funny no matter how you look at it, life throws curve balls, such as the insurance, furnace etc. Stress isn’t always a bad thing it can motivate us to get things done. How you look, think or feel about your situations can increase or decrease your stress levels.

We can help ourselves when situations are stressful by practicing breathing techniques such as breathe in deeply and slowly releasing the air through your mouth. This gives your brain, body and emotions time to calm when you are feeling overwhelmed.

I wrote in the article ‘How to handle stress and anxiety’ about knowing your anxiety and stress symptoms. If your heart is racing calming yourself through breathing and helpful self-talk will decrease your symptoms in a stressful situation.

I hope by using our weeks stresses it will be beneficial to you. In the first place just getting a major operation is one of life’s biggest stressors. So being in stress now and getting the news about the provider no longer accepts our insurance proved to be a major stressor for us. Our first reply was shock and anger that the heart doctor’s office (owned by a corporation network) is now refusing our insurance.

But then I decided to stop and think ok who should I talk to? I called and asked questions. Note: Stopping to think through options of who, what and where helps to collect your thoughts. I believe I did take a few deep breaths. Because there was conflicting information coming from the Dr. office and the physicians billing department. I did back and forth calling for three days to get correct information.

Plus, I called our insurance company. Then I called Northwestern Memorial and we switched my husband’s care back with them until we can find a new cardiologist in our area. This is just a brief example of how I dealt with a stressful situation this week.

For some people that would not be stressful for us it was since my husband is still on restrictions from surgery. Why am I telling the world our situation because I know that how I have learned to handle and go through stressful situations can help someone else.

I started this article with are you stressed out. This is an important question. Our bodies system has been designed to cope with stress if stress is not managed our physical body goes into overload and eventually other health symptoms will occur. Dealing with stress means you actively recognize your stress symptoms and are coping with your stress in healthy ways i.e., prayer, journaling, releasing emotions, breathing techniques, mediation, humor, exercise etc.

Repressing stress is not dealing with it and that causes more stress. So, if you’re under a lot of stress and we all are with covid19 restrictions do yourself a favor and find healthy ways to release your stress. Peace in the storm…

How Can You Be Thankful In A Pandemic?

How can you be thankful in a pandemic? That is a good question. Why is it a good question? Because thankfulness is an essential quality that helps one to persevere in tough times.

Living life in everyday situations can be difficult on a normal basis but throw a pandemic with a virus of strange origin, unable to view and tell when and how it is transmitted caused incalculable anxiety, fear and uncertainty.

So then why should we be thankful. Thankfulness is an attitude of gratitude. No matter how bad life gets and for some it has been extremely bad but somehow and some way there is something to be grateful for. Gratitude lifts our spirit and brings emotional wellbeing.

Even if you are not a child of God being thankful is beneficial for your wellbeing and mental health. By now if you have been following or read a few of my blog posts you recognize I am a Christian and love God. His word tells us to be thankful for and to God. I practice thankfulness daily. I say please and thank you because I genuinely appreciate when someone does something for me. I choose to be thankful and so can you.

Perhaps your struggling with the many difficult restrictions since the pandemic started as is everyone. Pick one thing to be thankful for and express it. You can write it out, express it to God and others not just on Thanksgiving but every day. I am thankful for a lot of different things. My husband came through a difficult surgery it had complications and he was in ICU for many days, but God provided throughout that time and I am so thankful for the prayers and encouragement we received.

I am thankful for the grace to do everything I need to do as my husband recuperates and for the time we get to spend together. I am also thankful for my family and friends I have great friends and family that I so appreciate their love and kindness. My church family is also something I am thankful for. I could go on and on, but you get the picture by now.

I could list all our troubles and setbacks but that only produces more stress and anxiety and truthfully every day holds a new day of challenges, but God also supplies daily mercy and grace. So why focus on the challenges or troubles. I am sensible I know and express my emotions and process hurts but I choose to let go of what I cannot solve or fix. How do I do it through processing and surrendering to God. I trust God to work out my problems and supply solutions when and where I need them.

Choosing to be thankful for the little and important things will help you through this pandemic and throughout life.

How to be a Kinder You…

What is kindness? It is a simple question but is it experienced by you daily? According to the dictionary kindness means “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” This month is Thanksgiving in the United States and so often we focus on what we are thankful for. But would it not be better to be somebody is thankful for. Meaning your act of kindness expressed in a manner that the individual receiving is surprised and thankful for the act of kindness.

I realize this year comes with uncertainty and hardships but we all can end the year 2020 with a ‘kinder you.’ How is kindness expressed? I believe through acts or services that help or bless someone else. Whether it is a random act or a planned act it still has a positive effect on someone. There are many ways to show kindness, such as a card letting someone know you are thinking of them, a phone call, text or message. These are simple but beautiful ways to express acts of kindness.

Handmade or store-bought items can lift a person’s spirit and let them know they are cared for. Another type of kindness can be monetary or services that helps someone in need. In a time of uncertainty people need kindness. I have seen cranky individuals crack a smile when a baby giggles or smiles at them. It is just proof to me that even the hardest of hearts wants somebody to be kind.

Since most of us remain wearing masks it is difficult to see the smiles. But you can smile through your mask and people will sense it. Let’s all be a ‘kinder you’ this season and share kindness wherever you are however you can.

How important is Dreams, Visions and Goals?

How important is a dream or vision to you? Do you have goals that you would like to carry out but aren’t sure how to go about it? Why is vision so important? How do you go about creating and carrying out your goals? These are a few of the questions we will look at.

How important is a dream or vision? It is important because it is the beginning of the dream, vision or goal. You need it to start, continue and finish. The carry out part is the task in the middle that takes you to achieving the dream, vision or goal. That is where commitment, research, work and self-talk brings you through.  

Why is vision so important? I know that had I not had a goal/vision to finish school I would not have completed my doctorate. How do you go on creating and carrying out your goals? First write it down, make it visible for you to see. By doing that you begin to take it from your thoughts to seeing it on paper. I pray over my dreams, visions or goals and ask God to help me. Explore what it would take to achieve your goal and research it, write it out it helps when it comes to developing a plan. Then take a step.

It takes commitment to carry out your goals. It likewise takes challenging work and continuing through even when you do not feel like it. There were times I thought about quitting but I would self-talk myself out of quitting. I would speak life over my work and say to myself I can do this. I had friends who encouraged me along the way too, but had I not encouraged myself I may not have finished.

I never gave myself permission to quit. Just because occasionally I wanted to, I would not let myself stay in a defeated mindset. I believe God’s grace brought me through because occasionally I would think I do not understand what that author is talking about nor did I like their viewpoint. I would need to look up the meaning of words that I could not even pronounce. But I thank God I finished, and I have been using the information to help others.

You too can complete your goals and achieve your dreams. It simply takes commitment, work and healthy self-talk. Say Something positive over your life, confess the word of God over yourself, do not allow yourself permission to quit. When we quit it will produce regret you can make it. If your struggling that is ok its part of the process. We all face struggles in finishing tasks, dreams, and goals.

I would like to encourage you to dream big, then take a step towards making the dream or vision a reality. You can do it!