Life – Page 13 – Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette

God’s Love is R.E.A.L

God’s love is Reliable. Reason why it’s reliable because you can rely on his love. Reliable means that it is trustworthy. Scripture states, “God so loved the World he sent his one and only son to die for it.”

God’s love is so reliable he sent His son Jesus to die for you before you ever where born. We do know that history has shown God’s love for all mankind. History, archeology and prophecy have demonstrated what is in the Bible. There are the facts throughout history that prove the truth of the Word of God.

God’s love is eternal. Why because God is love and that he existed before mankind was created and That He provided the way to eternal life. God is everlasting there is no beginning and no end of Almighty God. Therefore, his love is eternal.

God’s love is for all. All this means everyone. Unfortunately, some won’t accept his love by Christ Jesus. But nonetheless, it is available for all who call on the name of the Lord. The Entire 7.7 Billion people and counting. Past, present and future could experience God’ love. Choice was ours to accept or deny his love.

God’s love is love. The true definition of love is God. Scripture tells us in I John 4 “God is love.” In 1 Corinthians 13 it tells us what love looks like. All the way through scripture it gives the expression of God’s love as unfailing, everlasting, strong love.

God’s love is personal. You can experience the love of God through His Son. If you’ve come to this blog and you’ve never asked Christ in your life today’s your day. Ask him to demonstrate to you his love and to come into your life and forgive you of your sins.

The Bible says we all sinned and fell short of the Glory of God. Ask today and you receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord. You encounter the love of God personally. For all those of us that have felt the Lord personally it is a good reminder that his love is reliable, eternal, for all, and real love.

People… and Personality

After writing blog article People… I was asked on Facebook what is the personality? I’ve been thinking about this question.

Personality means for me the traits/tendencies, like and dislikes, and the character strengths and weakness all combining into your personality. I like using a simple questionnaire Florence Littauer has in the back of her book ‘Your Personality Tree.’

Before I became a SYMBIS Facilitator, while doing premarital counseling I would have a couple take the personality test. In doing that test the couple then begins to understand the whys and why nots of their partner’s choices, likes and dislikes and type of their personality. This is initiating good conversations in premarital counseling.

The SYMBIS questionnaire gets deeper into things such as your decision making, finances, strengths and weakness, expectations and more. It’s well worth thirty-five dollars per couple if you want an excellent assessment of yourself and your mate. Even singles may take the assessment to help determine their strengths and weakness and their relationship readiness.

Dr. Gary Smalley in his book ‘Making Love Last Forever’ has a chapter on personality traits and put it into four personality types. I would recommend this book for couples to be done together to reinforce or help heal their marital relationship.

Dr. Gary Smalley stated on page 159 in the book “We’re all a blend of four basic personality types, but most of us have one or two dominant styles.” I like his remark because it makes clear that there’s a blend and we typically are one or two dominant styles.

Understanding these personality styles will help people relate to other persons no one person is the same and that’s a good thing, but everybody has some characteristics that do fall under four different personality types. These types are called Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy as well as Phlegmatic.

I like this category because it’s a practical way to find out and discover about yourself and others. I believe the better we understand people that it produces compassion.

I would like to hear from the reader to learn if you’ve ever took a personality test and what three things you learned. Please think about leaving a comment on this blog.

Also, to consider sharing the blog on your Facebook page, Instagram or Twitter. Let’s get the Whole World thinking about people and understanding each other better.

Personality has strengths and weakness when we understand our strength and weakness, we can adapt, empower and overcome in the areas that we need to.

People…

There are 7.7 billion people in the world as of Oct 2019. How many different types of people are there in the 7.7 billion? I don’t know but no matter your nationalities and culture people are still people. People are humans we all have different characteristics and mannerisms but, in the end, we’re still humans.

While working in my masters I had several classes on personalities. In March 2019, I became a SYMBIS Facilitator. This program has been developed by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. To start the individual must answer 300 questions to determine their different personality aspects. Knowing your kind of personality and your mates or your friends contributes to better understanding of mutual strengths or weaknesses.

Why is that so important? It’s important because the more we recognize personalities the more our understanding and compassion will be toward others. Such as, type A or Chloric personalities are forward-thinking, they see the outcome, they take charge, but they have weaknesses too they might sound frank, bossy or sometimes brash.

There are various tests to determine your personality. These tests must be answered in all honesty in order to identify the true personality. Sometimes we imagine ourselves in a different way than we operate. A healthy viewpoint is to answer as best as possible.

Through our life we are changing and growing. Our personality does as well. Most of us are a combination of two types. Knowing people’s personalities helps not just in relationships, but on the job, school, church, and sports etc.

Individuals from all walks of life no matter where you live all around the world have personalities. Culture can contribute to the way you live but your real personality is part of your inner being.

A wounded person will not be fully plugged in to understanding their real personality. Survival mode makes the person put on a mask so that they can get through a violent or unhealthy situation whether in childhood or as an adult.

Parents that aren’t understanding or accept the child’s personality might squash the child’s soul and hence they put on the personality traits acceptable to the unhealthy parent.

As they grow, they may develop unhealthy defense mechanism due to living with another person’s interpretation of their life. Once these individuals are healed from the unacceptance they start to flourish an uncover their identity and personality.

Some of what children need growing up is positive affirmations, acceptance and affection. Such as if the child is very talkative give them a healthy outlet to express their words. Times have changed there is so much information out there to help empower your children and allow them positive ways to express their personality as it develops.

Why is it important because I believe to have empathy and compassion, we need to understand others where they are, so that we don’t try to make them like our personality.

I’m more of a do it now take-charge personality my husband is more stop, look at it and think about it then do it. We blend by these opposites because we accept our differences in our personalities and appreciate how it balances us.

Begin looking at people with eyes of understanding their personality and not judgement of it this produces compassion.

Three Areas of Rejection:

The three areas of rejection are people, self and God. In those three categories are countless ways and why we experience rejection. These three areas of refusal entail all kinds of subtitles like jobs, auditions, family etc.

Life encompasses so many different areas of a person’s lifetime from birth to death. “Life is the dash mark in the gravestone.” But in life we all face challenges. How we approach a challenge determines our outcome internally and realistically.

‘The Rejection Connection’ article I wrote on this blog has shown us everyone faces rejection at some point in their life. It also discussed how to handle rejection in a healthy way.

But now I want to break down these three areas of rejection. Because we are either accepted or not which is rejection. There are different levels of rejection from applying for a job to the hurt of a breakup. How you handle rejection can determine your outlook towards others, yourself and even God.

Rejection doesn’t feel good for anyone because with rejection comes disappointment and hurt. If you turn the rejection inward it can become despondency and situational depression. If you haven’t read the “Rejection Connection” it will help you to process unresolved rejection.

People rejection consists of anything you wanted or tried, and then you didn’t get the opportunity you wanted or a person you thought you loved etc. People rejection is all around us from simple situations to complex relationships. But the truth is sometimes not getting what we thought we wanted turns out better for us.

Self-rejection has a profound effect on our physical and psychological wellbeing. When we do not accept ourselves, it clouds our vision of others. Real or perceived rejection stings but self-rejection will affect our outlook on life, love and relationships. Take necessary steps to learn and just like yourself so that you no longer reject yourself for whatever real or perceived reasons. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. If you need some help to overcome seek wise counsel that will help to walk you through whatever holds you back from liking yourself.

God rejection isn’t a truth. God created man he doesn’t reject us he may not like your behavior and there are consequences to our wrong behaviors, but he loves you. He sent his son to die so you could have eternal life with him, so God rejection is just perceived rejection. Unfortunately, the perceived rejection can hurt and feel just as much as real rejection.

I recommend doing what I wrote in the “rejection connection.” “The third way some people handle rejection is, to identify it, let it out, forgive and move on.”

“To identify it means recognize the anxiety, hurt or frustration over the rejection. Let it out means talk to someone or journal the hurt and release the emotion of it, cry if need be.” “Then choose to forgive who or whatever the cause of rejection was.”

No matter the kind of rejection that you are facing you will be able to walk in freedom from it.

Who are you?

Have you heard the statement “Just be you?” If you’ve never looked at who you are or understand what you like and dislike that is a tough statement.

Be you constitutes your being honest with who you are or how you think and feel. No masks, no hidden agendas be your real self. Being you may also mean to be honest with yourself and others. Not through rudeness or disrespectful but honest and sincere.

For some that is very difficult. When I was a young woman it was difficult because of low self-esteem. I didn’t like my natural body and truthfully wanted a different one. But we cannot exchange our bodies completely. However, we can change how we look at ourselves.

I saw a very short girl who couldn’t walk or breathe. I also couldn’t run, jump or walk any distance. As I grew older, I learned my appearance doesn’t define me, my health does not define me either. I adopted that mindset, “fix what you can and accept what you can’t.”

Living with a disability has taught me many things but most importantly the disability doesn’t define me either.

The Bible tells us in Psalm 139:13-14 “For You formed me inward parts; You covered my in my mother’s womb. 14) I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” We can rest in knowing God shaped and knew us in our mother’s womb. On why one being born with disabilities I don’t know neither will I ever know. But I understand God knows me. Being you are learning experiences because when we grow up and develop our likes, tastes and opinions change.

Learn, investigate research try new things to see what you like and then you’ll know what you don’t like.

It’s 2020 Be you!

Strengths and Weaknesses…

Accepting your strengths and strengthening your weakness. Our strengths are the things we are good at or excel in and we usually enjoy. Strengths can also be things that come naturally to you. If you take for granted your strengths, you won’t grow in them. It’s always beneficial to sharpen your skills and strengths. Supporting your own strengths and improving them makes you more productive and satisfied.

Weaknesses can be strengthened with knowledge and focused discipline but first one must recognize it’s a weakness. Request for help can take you to the next phase-out of your weakness. Such as, habitual tardiness that is the symptom of poor time management. Learn what the sum of time you will need and don’t add to it. Resist adding to the list before going somewhere.

I love preaching, teaching and counseling. Doing this blog is a form of strengthening a weakness because grammar and spelling are not my strengths. But when I took the plunge and researched about blogs, I decided to conquer my hesitation/fear that I wouldn’t be able to do this. Here we are four months later I’m grateful for this opportunity.

I think practical action helps one to achieve. To try new things helps our brains to stay healthy. This also helps our self-esteem and achievements build our esteem. It is a good feeling to try something and to finish it. Perfectionism stands in the way of trying new things. Remember everybody fails at something but success is back-up and trying again.

I’m still learning about and trying new things. I have still not figured out how to make the category with this blog, but I chose to keep trying and if it is necessary, spending the money to get the help I need.

It’s wisdom when we’re stuck to seek help. Wither it is at writing or your personal mental health living in the same patterns only stops the increase psychologically, emotionally, physically. Even spiritually growing is good.

Try something new, read a book, change your workout routine, call that person that you were thinking about, rise and fortify your weaknesses and embrace your strengths.

Tested, Tried and Proven…

During my devotions on Jan 4^th I asked the Lord what was on his heart and I heard in my spirit “love, love and more love.” “Faith tested, tried and proven trust.”

Faith is…? To you what is faith? What does it mean to have faith? How is your faith tested, tried and proven? These are the questions we need to know so when we are faced with situations, we can let faith arise within our hearts and lean on God without always understanding what is happening.

Through the trials the bible states our faith is being tested, tried and producing patience/endurance. Looking at the word trials or tribulations other words related to them are development, lifestyle, growth, suffering, circumstances, journey.

James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3) knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4) But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

Tested faith produces patience, letting patience have its full work produces tried and proven. A perfect and complete individual who is matured in faith.

What is faith? Scripture states in, Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith for me is the trust, belief and confidence in the Creator God Most High who sent His Own Son Jesus dying for me. Faith comes from Him, is by Him and through Him.

Hebrews 11:6 states, “But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” This describes faith, it believes God exists it also believes that he is a rewarder of those who seek him.

I love how Almighty God is powerful and practical. We complicate God with our own assumptions and traditions. God loves us so much he sent His Son to take away our sin by dying on the cross. Faith comes through Him we all get a seed of faith as you trust God in situations it grows and becomes tested, tried and proven, sounds simple because it is.

We complicate it with doubt, fears, worries. Simple believing faith like a child is all we need. If your struggling with the faith to trust God stop for a moment and look around you and you will see something good to be thankful for. Start reading the Scriptures on who he is and His goodness it will build up your faith.

What is fear?

Great question I’ve been pondering from yesterday morning. I read Psalm 46 yesterday and that it states in verse 1 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. V.2 Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea…”

I love the therefore we will not fear because God is our present help. So, what is fear? According to the Dictionary fear is, “An unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger real or imagined.”

Fear can be triggered in the nervous system by our perception of danger real or imagined. So, fear is a part of our design by God to warn us but what happens when it’s out of balance? Phobias, worries, anxiety develop.

God gave us a built-in alarm system once you know what fear is, I believe it’s easier to stop a fear from over taking your thinking. By asking yourself is this real or imagined fear. Then your answer can help you to do what is necessary to overcome. A real danger needs an answer. Fear is a warning system that helps protect us when it’s a real danger.

God always has a way out or through trouble. I love that he is ever present in it with us. God’s word tells us in 1 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” The word states God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. Meaning our spirit has power, love and a sound mind. That’s what he has given us. Don’t let fear control you but do allow fear to warn in real danger. Not listening to fear in real danger will cause you harm.

Everyone experiences fear its part of our nervous system. It’s how you respond to it that gives it or takes away its power. People who use fear to hurt others are unhealthy or commonly called toxic. What they’re really doing is trying to control you. Remember no one can control you unless you let them. Don’t let their use of fear deceive you into giving them power over you.

Look at fear for what it is that it is a biological response from your nervous system to warn of danger real or imagined. That is why are thoughts are so important. If we let fear get into our thoughts it will take over. Speak God’s word to it. That is why in 2 Timothy 1:7 Paul tells Timothy “For God has not given you a spirit of fear… He was instructing Timothy to realize the place where fear was coming from. When fear gains control all kinds of problems develop.

God’s love cast out fear. Rest in His love for you. Trust His love for you because it is more powerful than your fear. 1 John 4:18 states, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” This in reference to fear that is out of balance or trying to take over.

When fear is the response of real danger, we hear it but when it comes to an imagined danger, we don’t listen to it. This is when speaking God’s word into an imaginary fear will help you calm yourself.

Remember Jesus conquered fear and death by His love!

Be a Lighthouse…

Can you imagine being on a large lake and it’s the middle of the night and there is no lighthouse? How do you assess the distance to shore and how do you see in the storm to land safely? I imagine that the advantages of a light house to all boats are lifesaving.

According to Google “a Lighthouse is a tower with a bright light at the top, located at an important or dangerous place regarding navigation.” Also, “the two main purposes of a light house are to serve as a navigational aid and to warn boats of dangerous areas. It is a traffic sign on the sea.”

How do we become a lighthouse? The only way I know to be a navigational aid is by being a living example. People can give a lot of advice but realistically you must be living your advice for others to benefit from it.

Children learn by what they see their parents do. You can say all kinds of stuff to your children that sounds great but if you’re not walking in it, they are not learning because they learn by what they see you do.

We too need to be in line with our words. The bible says “light exposes darkness” but it doesn’t simply happen by words you see light it shines in darkness.

When we are near people who are struggling be a light of comfort and strength. Be aware that a person who is down doesn’t need to be told to cheer up, they need comfort. Being comfort by sitting with them or just listening to them with out advice giving. Just be a listening ear. Let your compassion shine like a lighthouse.

I recently heard a minister say and I’m paraphrasing “Comfort people who are hurting. Don’t say just have faith. When Jesus said to his disciples, ‘he was sorrowful unto death,’ would you say to Jesus just have faith? No then don’t do it to others especially the hurting.” This reminds me of the page, ‘When compassion isn’t compassion’ on this website.

I’ve been in a lot of pain in my low back and right hip muscle, it is so painful I must stop and ice it. I’m walking with crutches to alleviate pain also. I need to get stronger and stand straighter to help ease this pain, but the ankle isn’t completely ready to stop hurting and it’s stiff and causing me to limp.

If someone was lecturing me on walking straight it wouldn’t help me. That’s what Pt is for. I went up for prayer Sunday because I felt safe to say my back is hurting and the lady’s prayed for me and hugged me and I left feeling invigorated and loved. For me this is another way of an uplifting lighthouse moment for me. Jesus is the Light of the World his light will shine through us. We can pray for others in a way which builds them up.

Being the living example of Jesus is being a lighthouse let his light shine through you.

We know a lighthouse also warns of an imminent threat of the boulders and shore that could cause damage to ships. When we are giving warning, we ought to choose our words wisely. When we warn we need to choose words with truth seasoned in grace. The bible instructs us to be merciful. There are occasions to speak and not to speak. Being a light house through example is still speaking.

Once you have Jesus’ light you will be a lighthouse wherever you go. John 8:12 “Then Jesus spoke to them again, Saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life.”

Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Let God’s light shine like a lighthouse through you.

Shine like a lighthouse

I was given the boot…

Today is my four-month doctor appointment since surgery. I was given the boot to the boot.

I don’t need to wear the grey boot!!! Yay! This was a longer recovery, but my ankle is healed well. I still must continue with physical therapy and I’m doing good. I was thinking about this day the boot was a good support and if I have a lot of walking Doctor said still use it.

I have learned through the years knowing your own body is important. When your sore or weary stop and rest. When we overdue and push our bodies beyond their endurance we will wear our bodies down. We become more vulnerable to weariness, exhaustion and sickness.

I’m learning to admit my signs of the need to stop, sit and rest. When I was younger, I would push till I was so painful I couldn’t walk, and I would like to volunteer for everything. I didn’t realize my own need of boundaries.

However, I learned and continue learning when to say no and yes with thought. So, by the time we commit, we counted costs of the commitment. Should you commit not taking cost into account, you will be running yourself ragged.

We can assess our why’s. Why must I say yes when I want to say no? Most often it is because we’re afraid of someone’s disapproval or we’re trying to win their approval.

Sole approval we need is God’s, ask Him what you should or shouldn’t do? Be conscious of His leading and you won’t be doing it in your own strength. One question for all of us should ask ourselves, what should you give the boot too? Things, habits, addictions etc. Take a moment and ask God is their anything I need to let go of? He will give you the grace to let go of it.