Category: Life

Tune-up time…

When I think of tune-ups I think of my car.  New spark plugs, wires etc.  But when I imagine life, relationships or love tune- ups words like consistency, dependability or reliability come to mind.

What part of your everyday life, relationships or love require a tune-up? I think every now and then it’s good to get an assessment of life to look at what needs tweaking.

Let’s look at the word consistency why it is an important characteristic in our lives. According to the Dictionary consistency as a noun means “Conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy or fairness.”

How does that apply to life? How consistent someone is to a job, career, relationship will build trust. Therefore, consistency builds trust. When an individual is inconsistent, they seem to be haphazard, un-committed or not reliable because you will not be able to depend on them.

Life isn’t fair; life is just life- But when we are working hard and be consistent in our employment or relationships, we are going to build security in the areas needed for stability, dependability and growth.

Consistency is the glue that holds relationships together.  When we are consistent in life, relationships and love our actions, behaviors or practices can be relied on since their proven consistent.

Love isn’t a feeling it is a commitment to an individual and relationship. Commitment involves consistency. Consistency builds stability, security and growth into the relationship. Love increases when life, care and nurture is given to it inside a relationship. And relationships continue to increase when life, laughter, fun and security is placed into them in a consistent way. These are attitudes and behaviors that need to be consistent to reap the blessing of healthiness in their lives and relationships. Consistency is the glue that holds relationships together.

Whether it’s living in general or relationships of all kinds honoring your word is a consistent attitude and conduct to have. This builds your lives and empowers your relationships.

A few words that describe consistency or they are synonyms are stability, steadiness, dependability and reliability.

I personally live by way of the scripture “honor your word even when it hurts.” Which essentially means if you say you’re going to do it, do it. This produces reliability and dependability which produces a healthy mindset in living and relationships.

Here’s where the tune-up takes place.  Take a deep breath and exhale and see your actions, attitudes or words. Now question whether they are consistent to what you want to achieve in life, relationships and love? And if not, what do you have to do to them to make it consistent? Invite God to tell you how to be consistent in life, relationships and love. https://insightsbydrannette.com/integrity/ https://insightsbydrannette.com/do-you-need-clarity/ https://insightsbydrannette.com/little-things-matter/

Unhealthy, Toxic or Aggressive People or Healthy, Non-Toxic or Assertive People

It’s time to understand the difference of toxic vs. non-toxic, unhealthy vs. healthy or aggressive vs. assertive.  What do these phrases mean to you? Why do we have to understand these terms? 

First, toxic means poison but when you are dealing with people its reference is for people who are abusive, unhealthy emotionally, unsupportive, energy vampires. Whenever your around them you are feeling unappreciated, let down or exhausted.  It’s like walking on jagged rocks exceedingly difficult to be around.  Understanding the terms and conditions helps to identify if you’re walking in it or whether someone your dealing with is toxic, unhealthy or aggressive.

When a person is toxic it feels like they are constantly blaming you for their problems or they blame their past, people at work, family etc. it’s not ever their own fault. They tend to not recognize their unhealthful behaviors and if they do, they have reasons for them by blaming someone or anything else.

Non-toxic individuals own their errors, seek help when necessary and choose to modify whatever needs changing.  Individuals who are teachable are more likely to be emotionally healthy.

Any time we blame somebody else for our faults we will become unhealthy emotionally or toxic and it may result in becoming aggressive in communication.

Aggressive communications and/ or behaviors indicates a lot of undealt with issues within the individual.  Being assertive remains proactive but aggression tends to push others aside while at the same time it blocks interpersonal relationships. You may get your way being aggressive for a short time, but you’ll miss out on quality relationships.

When we are assertive, we speak up for ourselves with the whole truth without crushing the other person. This encourages relationships it doesn’t tear them down.

Today is the day to pick and choose to be free from toxicity, unhealthy mindsets and emotions or aggressive communication. Most times inner healing is needed to overcome these, but it begins with you letting yourself look at your own feelings, faults or behaviors as well as asking for help.

If we are teachable it’s fixable. The minute we choose to stop listening and learning we become stunted in personal development. Ask yourself how crucial to you it is to develop into a whole, healthy emotionally and assertive individual.

You have the choice today to be free or blocked.  To grow to be healthy emotionally or stay unhealthy emotionally. To communicate assertively or aggressively, toxic or not toxic the option is up to you.

It starts with you and you alone. I recommend that you look at your responses to situations and then select to forgive those who have harmed you or choose to forgive yourself for the hurts you’ve done to others. Where it could be possibly making it correct.

I also encourage you to choose to change each one of us has a will activate it and you will be able to change. Inviting God to change you is a good place to start.

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It’s Personal…

Have you ever heard this statement? When someone takes anything seriously and it affects them it’s personal. What is going to happen if knowing you by name is personal to God? And just how would that change your relationship with him? To me this makes the relationship more intimate.

Isaiah 43:1-3 “But now thus says the LORD, who Created you. O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel; “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are mine.”

God knows your own name. He is personal and relational. He understands more about us than we do. When we are talking to someone and you know them you know their name and who they are as a person. That is personal.

The Almighty God, the King of kings and the Great I Am knows my name. Think about this He really knows your name that’s personal. If your feeling alone or else distant from people because of life circumstances or just busyness of life. Recall this, God knows your name. Call on Him He will answer. Be still long enough for you to hear his response.

He not only knows your name but because it is personal and relational, He is going with you into whatever your facing.

Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.”

How comforting to know God goes with us we are never alone! My husband and I are faced with new medical difficulties in our lives. I know God has been with us and will get through the river with us That He isn’t leaving us to pass through it alone nor will he have forgotten about us. It’s the same for every one of us in any case we face we can be confident God is with you.

If you’re reading this and thinking how I know that this is true. I can tell you from my own experience the Word of God and the promises of God are yes and amen in Jesus. You can depend on God’s Word as truth. I personally have never been let down or been abandoned by God. I know it might seem like life situations are severe at times, but God isn’t ignoring you he’s always at work even when we can not see it or feel it. That’s the part of faith that we hold fast to the Word of God and speak that over our situations. When we’re doing this, it will produce calmness and comfort you whenever you walk through the difficult situations.

Be encouraged today God knows your name and He is going through the problems of life with you.

Grief and Sorrows…

What is grief and sorrows? How long does it last and how do you walk through grief and sorrow?  These are a few of the questions we will look at.

Grief is “a deep sorrow especially that was caused by someone’s death” but not limited to death it’s a loss of someone or something. Grief will come from loss of job, relationship, health decline etc.… I think it’s important to understand that grief comes from many different types of loss.  In Psychology Today “Grief is the acute pain that accompanies loss.”

Sorrow as a noun “A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Sorrow as a verb “feel or display deep distress.”

I know they say grief has stages and each stage can be non-systematic the stages can flip back and forth one day denial next anger then back to denial to bargaining etc. But what is important to know is deep sorrow/grief for more than two years means you’re stuck in grief. I have read grief can last up to five years but that isn’t the deep sorrow aspect.

When I lost my mom in Oct 1999, I was having such a hard time. My mom was like a best friend to me. Not only was she my mom but we could talk about anything. She validated my life with positive affirmations, acceptance and affection.  We hugged coming and going. I loved her dearly.

So, having to say goodbye felt like I had to let her go.  I couldn’t let her go the thought of letting go was stuck in my mind I couldn’t. I wrote about this in my article “Grief Work.” But what I didn’t realize is my heart and mind said if I let her go, I will lose my mom, but reality was my mom with always be my mother.

I was trapped in grief. I had to learn I wasn’t letting her go I was rearranging my life. I have no regrets my mom knew I loved her and was available for her. She knew all of us loved her.

Sometimes though once we are stuck in grief the deep grief can take over.  If there was some unfinished business as to hurts, offenses, pain or unforgiveness we tend to believe we can’t have closure. The truth is you can have closure by going through inner healing. You can process by your words and give your grief a voice and forgive whatever needs to be forgiven.

Unforgiveness will leave you stuck in grief and stunt your life. That’s the same thing as a prison wall around your heart and mind. The forgiveness is for you not the offender. They must deal with what they did with God. But holding onto the unforgiveness in the direction of a person or loss just keeps past present and past hurts does not belong in your present life. It’s time for you to release the past and move forward beyond grief and sorrow and into hope for the future and love.

Isaiah 53: 3-4 states, “He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 4) Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.”

Jesus bore our sorrows and grief. It’s time to let go of the pain of loss and let Jesus heal your hurts, pains and sorrows. It’s time for the internal healing to take place so that you can walk free from grief and sorrow.

My prayer is that today is your day to be set free of the hurt and pain as you surrender the sadness and sorrow of loss, hurt, pain, and offenses to God the Father and through Jesus sacrifice you receive healing today.

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Giving Advice…

How often do we receive advice without asking for it? How do you feel about that? Usually unwanted advice isn’t received well.

I read in the Bible that Job lost almost everything plus finished up with sores all over his body. His faith in God remained being tested but what I observed is the advice most of his ‘friends’ gave him was not good and neither was it accurate. They were giving advice according to what they believed about God and Job but accurately it was incorrect.

There are forty two chapters in the book and at the conclusion after God speaks Job says to God in verse five “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. 6) therefore, I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” God showed Job who he really was, and this is Job’s response. He was a humble man.

Giving opinions without basis of truth does not constitute wisdom. Giving advice without all the circumstances isn’t understanding either. There are always both sides to a narrative and then there’s the truth. Make certain that the advice you give someone is backed in the truth and not your views only.

When providing advice be compassionate. When we care about someone, we need to detach from the emotions of their dilemma so we can clearly look at and hear their situation.

Like I wrote earlier most people don’t want unwelcome advice or opinions. It is important to know the timing to speak as well so that our words produce life.

Can they hear you? That is the question to ask yourself whether they can’t hear you due to wrong timing or else unsolicited advice then you’re wasting your breath.

I personally try my best to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. He always has the right word for the need and it’s always a word that produces peace or healing.

Back to Job, after God dealt with the three friends, He had Job pray for them in verse 10 “And the LORD restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed, the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” 

There is a moral to this narrative when bad things are happening don’t assume it’s because the individual did something wrong. Don’t judge someone because his friends believed, he sinned against God. When giving advice tell what truth is and what’s your opinion. And don’t carry a grudge against individuals who give bad advice. Forgive and pray for them.

So, if we choose to give someone advice the thought before you have a conversation ought to be is it true, is it helpful and what will your comments produce.

Root of Rejection…

Everyone faces rejection although some do not respond well to it. When you have a root of rejection it manages to override our perspective on situations. Have you ever stepped into a room and felt unaccepted or unseen? That is derived from the unhealthy roots of rejection.

What is rejection? According to Webster’s Dictionary: “rejection means 1) to refuse to accept, recognize, or make use of: Repudiate 2) to refuse to consider or grant: Deny 3) To ruse affection or recognition to (a person) 4) To throw away: discard” “syn: reject, decline, dismiss, refuse, spurn, turn down, Core meaning: v. To be unwilling to accept, consider or receive.”

When rejection is the root/stronghold in our minds and the heart it can produce a devastating impact on the psyche. Roots as well as their strongholds are developed early in life created by the trauma, abuses, neglect, abandonment etc. Anyone of these will be able to and do produce the root of rejection in an individual where they feel and believe no one likes or wants me. This root/stronghold clouds the person from believing their accepted, loved and cherished. One may even reject themselves from any number of reasons.

In the blog post “the Rejection Connection” I gave three different ways people handle rejection. The third way is to identify it, let it out, forgive and move on. 

This post is information about the root of rejection. When we have a root of rejection our perceptions are cloudy. It’s harder and harder to see clearly that the rejection may not always be personal. Therefore, it is vital to get a healthy reality viewpoint from a trusted individual.

A root of rejection may be uprooted as well as healed by God. When we have the root/stronghold of rejection the fear of rejection is overwhelming.  God sent Jesus to defeat all our unhealthy roots and by His mighty name I uproot rejection and plant his seeds of unfailing love in your hearts and minds today.

My prayer for you today is, that Our Heavenly Father wrap you in His loving arms and uproot rejection and shame and you begin to sense His love and acceptance for you through Christ Jesus.  May He by His Holy Spirit quicken you to know He’s uprooting roots of rejection and healing whatever caused rejection in your life and the rejection is broken off of you now by the power of God and all fear of rejection is loosed off of you in Jesus name. I pray you begin to sense freedom to love and except yourself and others.

https://insightsbydrannette.com/the-rejection-connection/

https://insightsbydrannette.com/beauty-for-ashes/

https://insightsbydrannette.com/three-areas-of-rejection/

Peacemaker’s…

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

What are peacemakers? Who are the peacemakers in periods of injustice and racism? These are some of the questions we will be looking at. I like to get acquainted with the definitions of words according to the dictionary. We can say an idea of what a word means although sometimes we need to know exactly what it means.

From Websters online Dictionary. The word injustice means “lack of fairness or justice: an unjust act or occurrence.  God is just he does not condone injustice or racism of any kind.

Also, from Webster’s Dictionary the word racism means “1) a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. 2a) a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles.”  Webster’s Dict. On racial prejudice means “prejudice against or hostility toward people of another race or color or of an alien culture.”

“Racial discrimination is any discrimination against individuals on the basis of their skin color, or racial or ethnic origin Individuals can discriminate by refusing to do business with, socialize with or share resources with people of a certain group.” Wikipedia

I put those definitions here so that we could see and know exactly what injustice and racism is.  God doesn’t judge by outward appearances He judges by way of our hearts and actions. Once again God is just, and he doesn’t condone injustice or racism.

I haven’t posted for a week or so, I was helping a friend pack and move. Plus, I wanted to convey the truth of God’s word at the right moment.

We need to be pursuers of peace. Peace brings calm to situations. Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the LORD is right, and all His work is done in truth. 5) He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.”

I Samuel 16:7 “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart,”

Fighting or arguing about politics, religion, injustice etc. just keeps individuals divided. Division isn’t from God, unity and peace remains God’s way. We need to be solving the problem orientated.

Blessed are the peacemakers it says in the bible. Peacemakers make up the stand for justice and speak up. They don’t just place their heads in the sand. But peacemakers walk in truth, they are those who don’t necessarily need to argue to be heard. But they go forth in the truth, walk in peace, calmness and talk to bring healing, peace and unity. Be the peacemaker.

The word peacemaker in the Strong’s Greek Dictionary means “peaceable, peacemaker.” It comes from “to make or do; agree, hand together.’ Also, from ‘to join, lit or fig peace, quietness, rest and set at one again” This is a peacemaker.

Peacemakers aren’t co-dependent it’s not peace at whatever cost its truth and righteousness. They have debates and solutions. I remember Pastor Baker use to say, “If you’re not part of the problem or solution then don’t say anything.” In the United States we can talk about and voice our opinions but simply because you have a right to doesn’t mean it is going to produce peace and unity. Our words need to generate life not death and unity not division.

It’s time to search for real solutions which produce peace, justice and unity. We need to prayerfully ask God for justice and peace, and may the real peacemakers arise who walk in truth, unity and have genuine solutions.

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Direction…

What way are you going to go?

I read recently in Jeremiah 40:4 “The captain of the guard took Jeremiah and said… 4) And now look, I free you this day from the chains that were on your hand.  If it seems good to you to come with me to Babylon, come, and I will look after you. But if it seems wrong for you to come with me to Babylon, remain here.  See all the land is before you; wherever it seems good and convenient for you to go, go there.”

This scripture has stayed on my heart since I read this. I’ve been thinking about the fact that because Jeremiah had spoken for God and it came to pass here is the Captain of the guard is ready to let him go. What is interesting to me is, He’s offering Jeremiah options.

Just like God provides us with options too. He frees us from chains of oppression and gives us liberty to choose. Precisely the same as Jeremiah got a choice of what direction he wanted to go.  At times we can be liberated from a bondage and we are making a choice which seems best, but we end up right back into the bondage we left. That might be because we didn’t seek God for direction, and we decide to go back to the familiar.

Jeremiah didn’t choose right away. I believe He was waiting on God for His direction. We also will have to wait on God for direction when it’s unclear which direction to go.  

“The word direction is defined as the path that someone takes, the path that must be taken to reach a specific place, the way you are facing.” Dictionary.com

I find it interesting to note that it says I free you of the chains being plural on your hand being singular. It appears only one hand had the chains on so throughout his captivity he can move around a bit. It’s the same thing for us we may be free in certain areas of our lives and then other areas there can be bondage. God desires to provide you with freedom in every area of life.

In this passage of scripture, the hand in the Hebrew Dictionary means “(the open one) [indicating power, means, direction] …”

Nebuzaradan the Captain of the Guard was providing Jeremiah freedom to go with the power to decide where he would like to go. Nebuzaradan also provided Jeremiah rations and a gift and let him go. When God liberates us, he doesn’t let you go empty handed he provides for the needs you have.

What is tying up your hand which makes you feel or believe you can’t go and do?  What chain is preventing you from going in the right direction God needs for you to go?  It’s as easy as releasing it over to God.

When we are unclear of our next step take time out and press into the Spirit in prayer and wait on God. He will reply to you. Knowing the correct way to go in life decisions may also be made easier if you line up to Gods Word. God’s word never steers us in the wrong direction.  

What may be difficult in determining what is holding the hand from doing the things that you want is fear. Fear of failure or fear of the wrong choice. Fear does not necessarily need to prevent you from making a choice. Sometimes saying to yourself if I fail at least I attempted can help you to conquer making the step, fear can look a lot like a chain on your hand, but God wants to break this chain off your hand.  

Jesus came to provide us with life abundantly and whatever is preventing you from full movement or surrender He will set you free. What ever direction you need to go God will lead you and set you free, but you must ask.

My prayer for you is: Father God, I lose the shackles of fear of failure and fear of making the wrong choice that is holding each person back from going and doing all they are called to do and I release them in Jesus mighty name to go and flourish for your Kingdom. Amen

https://insightsbydrannette.com/what-is-fear/

https://insightsbydrannette.com/decisions-and-decisions/

The Root of Shame

Sometimes when we can’t say good things about our self is due to the different unhealthy origins one being a root of shame. Roots become the same way as a stronghold it keeps you locked in.

Today we are breaking strongholds of shame. Shame of how you think that the negative of yourself it true and shame of the abuses done to you are your fault. Shame says in your thoughts “I’m bad.” It is a root formed in your thinking by initial experiences that are making you feel bad about yourself. The word shame in the dictionary as a noun means “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. As a verb it means “(of a person, action or situation) make (someone) feel ashamed.” ‘To humiliate, mortify, embarrass.’

When we internalize a shame of something being told or done to us it turns into a shame-based mindset (root/stronghold) of thinking I’m bad, I’m flawed or I’m damaged goods. This one goes deep into the psyche as well as the mind will think I’m flawed and feel ashamed.

Shame-based system in the dysfunctional families usually establish a secrecy about the family dynamics. Family are told what happens here remains here. Abusers will pose a threat to the victim to not talk about the abuse or else… this all leads to silencing a victim and internalizing them in the shame. This secrecy is the way in which abuse is held in internally. So that not only are they abused, either (physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally) they are hostage through shame to keep it in and not talk about it.  

This all is leading to a life of shame internalized which means that it makes you think and feel ashamed of yourself. The reality is what was done to you was not your fault no matter what you have been told, a child/teen does not deserve abuse ever. it in and not talk about it.

This root goes deep-rooted and through the power of God you can be healed and set free.  You can be free of the pain of an abuse.

Adults too can be abused this is also destructive to the individual physically, emotionally and psychology creating shame usually done in secrecy as well. I’m not a specialist in domestic violence even though I did go through Life Skills International educational program twice and learned enough to say, ‘God hates violence.’

In Isaiah 54:4 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame. For you will forget the shame of your youth…”

Through the Beauty for Ashes page we are going to look at things that are hard, but God will go through it with you.

God loves you unconditionally.  His love will bring us through as we look back at the past pain, it’s the doorway to freedom. We don’t remain in the doorway we walk through it.

But God wants us to know His love is tangible, powerful and unfailing. He will go through the pain with you and fill the space of pain with His healing love. So that you remain then rooted and become grounded in His love for you!

 My prayer for you today is, that Our Heavenly Father wrap you in His loving arms and you begin to sense His unconditional love for you through Christ Jesus.  May He by His Holy Spirit quicken you to know He’s bringing you through whatever caused shame in your life and the shame is broken off of you now by the power of God in Jesus name. I pray you begin to sense freedom to love yourself and others.

For more information or to follow along with the teachings of the Beauty for Ashes support group lessons click on this link.

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Blurred Vision…

Blurred vision in the natural makes it hard to judge distances see what is near you and ahead of you. We can also get blurred vision morally, emotionally and spiritually.

Blurred vision morally makes your lines of compromise easier to step over. Any time we go beyond our line of morals it will produce in us blurred vision and then we become compromised morally.

Emotionally blurred vision to something or somebody is an attachment enthusiastically to something that isn’t good for you or others. You become attached in your heart to something or someone that isn’t yours to become attached too. This takes stepping back from it, looking at it with fresh vision, and being teachable about it. Renounce, repent and receive forgiveness of it and move on.

Blurred vision spiritually causes uncertainty in understanding what is and isn’t from God. God isn’t the author of confusion if something is confusing, we need to step back and take a better look and line it up to the Word of God.

God wants us to have clarity of vision.  It plays an important part in fulfilling a vision to keep your ‘eye on the goal.’

In Philippians 3:13 Amp “I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]; forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”  the Apostle Paul instructs us to forget what is behind and to press forward.  Pressing forward takes ‘forward thinking.’ Paul was teaching us to press on to the goal, in verse 14 “I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.”  Here is where we will need forward thinking in our spiritual lives. To be kingdom minded is so that you can have forward thinking regarding the future and now in the Kingdom of God.

Anytime we spend mulling over past mistakes we lose out on now opportunities. Forward thinking movement propels us to keep moving. I have learned the best way to find your passion is to start with what you have. For example, if you love to teach volunteer to teach Sunday school or mentor a child with their schoolwork.  

I always wanted to write but with my grammar not the best I didn’t think it a possibility. Going through graduate work taught me how to improve my writing with spell and grammar check in Word Program. To start this Blog and Webpage I had to take on a step of faith invest the money and time eight months later its increasing and I’m learning more and more. God provided me with a lovely friend who has webpage and design inventiveness which I’m incredibly grateful for her help.

But it took me to decide to try and to let the Holy Spirit to inspire me in this way.  I love that God can take a girl who was not good at spelling and provide me with the tools and education I needed to fulfill His vision. Then open this door to teach around the World. Every post is producing seeds sown for the Kingdom of God. This represents the forward thinking.

My vision is clear this keep writing and posting. We’ve added the Beauty for Ashes page which is another dimension to the vison of the webpage moving forward takes steps of obedience.

Forgetting what’s behind keep moving forward. If in any area you are experiencing blurred vision (plans, purpose, direction) stop, pray, press in and make the necessary steps of change to bring clarity once again. It’s wisdom to seek help when you need it.

https://insightsbydrannette.com/do-you-need-clarity/