November 2022 – Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette

How To Be Thankful And Grateful.

Gratitude to me is thankfulness in action. Being thankful is not only good manners it is a heart response to show appreciation to others. We are celebrating the ‘Thanksgiving Holiday’ this month, but we need to be thankful and grateful all year long. Thankfulness and gratitude comes from the heart of humility. It shows appreciation to others without resentment or wanting something in return.

According to the dictionary what does grateful mean? Grateful is “feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful” received or experienced with gratitude; welcome”

“By definition: thankfulness is feeling pleased and relieved. Gratefulness is showing appreciation for something done or received. Being thankful is more about expressing a feeling like saying “thank you.” “Where thankfulness is an emotion, gratitude is an attitude of appreciation under any circumstance. Gratitude involves being thankful, but it is more than that. Gratitude means expressing thankfulness and being appreciative of life daily even when nothing exciting happens.”

These definitions show us the difference between the words but in reality they both are necessary to have in life. Feelings will follow thoughts, but gratitude shows through in your attitude.

Ask yourself these three questions to know if you are a thankful and grateful.

First, do I appreciate the little gestures of kindness? Secondly, do I express my gratitude with words and deeds? Thirdly, do I look for ways to express my thankfulness? If you consistently do these things your living with a thankful and grateful heart.

If not, there is hope for you. By looking at your thoughts and actions. We change when we repent and ask God to forgive us for not being thankful. Then ask the Lord to show you how to be thankful for the trivial things in life. Start a thankful list to remind yourself of things that are good and pleasant. Enjoy the trivial things in life by looking at the beauty around you and appreciate it. These small steps will lead you to having a thankful and grateful heart.

Here are a few thankful Scriptures to mediate on: I suggest saying them out loud so that you will hear them.

Psalm 136:1 “O give thanks unto the LORD; for his mercy endures forever.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be make know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 95:2 “Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise.”

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”

Are You, Your worst enemy?

What does are you your worst enemy mean? It means the way we think affects our life. Our thoughts can trigger emotions and our thoughts left unchecked can become mindsets and strongholds.

When we put ourselves down through unhealthy thinking patterns, we become our worst enemy. These patterns become automatic, before you realize it you are speaking to your self unhealthy things about yourself, life, and others.

Shame, rejection, bitterness, unforgiveness, and fear are just a few issues that affect our thinking. Abuses are the most common culprit for thinking and feeling bad about yourself. Whether it is from present or past abuse it can affect how one feels and thinks about themself.

As you read this article ask yourself 1) Do I speak negatively about myself when things go wrong? 2) Do I blame myself when things don’t workout the way I think they should? 3) Can I separate my being from my doing?

If you answered yes to those questions, then it is time to refuse the negative narrative you speak to yourself. And allow God to bring healing into those areas of your heart. Being aware of our thoughts and how they affect us is possible when you question your thoughts. Ask yourself where this negative thought is coming from? Ask is it true, is it hurtful then turn the thought around to a positive statement of truth according to the Word of God.

For example: If you think ‘I’m not good enough’ then this thought pattern will stop you from trying new things, meeting new people or changing your life. This type of thought pattern is fueled by worthlessness. To conquer this thought pattern, you must speak the truth to yourself. Yes our behaviors can be wrong but who you are as a human being is valuable. God created us with value and worth because He loves us, He sent His only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. That means to God you are valuable and worth dying for.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” This scripture shows us how to take captive thoughts and strongholds that keep us tied up. Unhealthy negative thoughts about yourself are exalting itself against the knowledge of God. Why because God created us in His image.

Here are three areas we become our own worst enemy. 1) Thoughts, become our beliefs when we dwell on them. Thoughts left unchecked will produce emotions. Emotions are just that emotions they are not facts. Same as our opinions they also are not facts. Our perspective can also not be facts. Our opinions and perspective come from our thinking processes. Therefore, thoughts affect our actions.

2) Our behaviors left unrestrained will cause ourselves and others’ problems. My mom would say “Actions speak louder than words.” Which is true but let us add to this statement that ‘actions are thoughts being acted out.’ Usually, we do what we think on if our thoughts are unrestrained. And when we do our actions will affect our outcome. Let us clarify these statements. Unrestrained habitual negative thinking produces unrestrained actions. Actions affect our outcome. The outcome is a product of our thoughts put into actions. The bible says what we sow we reap.

3) In certain situations, our result becomes a product of our actions. We cannot control what others do or every circumstance that happens in life. But keeping in context to this article certain results come from our own unhealthy thinking patterns and actions.

When I was younger my thoughts would make me feel less than others but as I allowed the Spirit of God to teach me according to God’s Word who I am in Christ, He healed the inferiority thoughts. I wrote in my book “The Father’s Daughters” on somethings that I went through. We do not have to be our own worst enemy. There is enough problems in life we don’t have to help beat ourselves up.

We do need to admit when we are at fault or when our behavior is wrong and sinful. When we have repented and ask for forgiveness God does forgive us. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We then need to forgive ourselves and walk in His truth.

I do recommend you read the Bible daily. God’s word is truth of who He is and who you are in Him. I also recommend the book “The Father’s Daughters.” God wants to set His people free so that we can love others as we love ourselves. Jesus died so that we could be free in all areas of our lives.

Amazon.com: The Father’s Daughters: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection (9798705629275): Melton, Dr. Annette: Books

Three Key Questions to Ask in Making Decisions?

Do you wrestle with making decisions? What is a decision? A decision is a choice between options. Why do we battle in making a choice? The answer lies in each one of us, but several reasons are fear of rejection, fear of being wrong, unwise counsel, lack of prayer, instability, or a divided heart. These are just some reasons but before this article is over, I am believing you will have the tools needed to look at quality decision making as a blessing and not a chore.

In the beginning of October, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “when we run from making decisions, we prolong our problems, open the doors of confusion, distractions, and false hope.” We make good decisions when we know the facts involved and we investigate the options. Decisions can stir up strong emotions but basing your decisions on emotions only will cause problems.

I personally pray over my decisions. Both my husband and I pray together over our decisions God is first in our life and marriage, we want Him in all our decision making.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” God gives us wisdom when we ask so therefore if you are wondering what to do ask God what you should do with the choice you need to make. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Trusting God and His word is one of the key elements in good decision making.

Oh, I have made bad decisions in my life like most of us, we don’t always realize it’s a bad decision until the outcome. Most importantly when we have made unwise decisions if we learn from them and apply it to our lives we become healthier in our decision making.

Secondly depending on our personality decision making may be easier. But no matter what type of personality you have, you can make a decision. I say that because we all were created with a will and using your choice which is your will for good decisions is best. Tell yourself you can make a good decision.

Thirdly, ask yourself these three questions. Is this decision God’s will and if the answer is yes, ask the question is it God’s timing. The timing is also an essential element in decision making. Sometimes the things we want are delayed for a season. That doesn’t mean it’s a punishment or something is wrong it’s just not the right time. Then ask yourself what is the way you need to go about it. When I process something, I’m reminded of these three things. An example is when we are planning a large purchase we save for it. Then it doesn’t become a hinderance to our budget.

Blessings on your decision making!