Month: November 2021

What Are Three Ways to Defuse Anger

How do you defuse anger? I grew up in a setting where anger was not supposed to be allowed. Not sure how I got that impression, but I always thought anger was bad. When I got older and understood God’s word it says, ‘be angry and sin not.’ Which made me understand the anger is not an issue it is what we do with it that makes a problem.

I’m strong believer in speaking up and addressing issues. Throughout life I have come to realize the longer one holds onto a hurt it festers into something bigger. Anger lets us know something is wrong within us. When we feel the secondary emotion of anger it is a red flag saying something isn’t right within me. I am either hurt, fearful or frustrated about something and someone. If we ignore this flag, it does not go away it just becomes seething inside and will come out on someone or something.

So how do we defuse anger? First recognize that the anger is secondary it is an emotion to let you know something is wrong. Finding out what is going on inside of you by asking your self-questions. Questions like what is the real reason I am angry? Am I’m hurt by this… or afraid of this… will help you to address the underlying issue?

Secondly to defuse the anger is ‘deal with the issue.’ Repressing hurt does not solve a problem. Addressing an issue isn’t always easy but when done with good communications tools the person isn’t left hurting worse or wondering what that was about. Anger helps us to make a change too if we allow it. Sometimes we can procrastinate to make a change until we get angry and see the need for the change. Once again anger is an emotional red flag that something is wrong. Making changes can be difficult especially when they alter how you are living but for real change to take place, we usually must make tough decisions and act upon them.

Thirdly in defusing your anger it helps to speak truths to yourself about yourself. I speak the word of God to myself in situations it produces faith and builds my mind and heart on od things. God’s word has healthy loving statements to make to yourself. It produces life and peace in us.

When I get angry, I ask the Holy Spirit to show me what is really going on within me. Use the moment to produce change in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Annette

To My Readers,

To my readers,

Nov 30th 2021

I haven’t written in a while due to being busy studying and working hard to accomplish a goal. Although I’m not giving up this blog or webpage. I am realizing I owe my readers an explanation of my lack of writing.  I’m healthy, happy and excited to be going through CCOG ministerial internship program. It will be done May 2022. I appreciate your patience and prayers it’s hard work, but I love it.

Dr. Annette

Three things to know about Hope…

What is hope? How does having hope help us? What is your hope in? First what is hope according to the dictionary, “it is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” “A feeling of trust.”  Having hope helps us stay in expectancy it gives us a good feeling of a welcomed outcome. Hoping in a good outcome keeps one positive but what happens when your outcome does not happen the way you wanted? What can happen is despondency, despair or depression. But it doesn’t have to when you know where to place your hope it guards you from the D’s of life.  

In dealing with the loss of someone’s hope, it is important to look at what kind of hope they placed their trust in. At times we can place our hope in things and people that we have no control over. Life can change in an instant and hope can be dashed within seconds. Unfortunately, we cannot foresee every aspect that life brings. This is when we need a solid ground for our hope to be in. Putting hope into an outcome or a person is not as solid as we can imagine. But placing our hope in God is a solid foundation.

Putting your hope in God means your trusting Him with your outcome in situations and life. As we go through this life, we can be assured that God is faithful to His Word. The word of God tells us in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.” Even though we may experience hardships, trials and sorrow God promises to walk through those with us.

The first thing about hope is ask yourself, ‘what are you placing your hope in?’ Ask yourself is it realistic, is it a doable plan are you prepared to wait. Count the cost! All dreams, plans, or visions for future take effort and time. Therefore, give yourself a realistic plan to hold onto. I choose to place my plans in God’s hands. I want His plan for my life. I have learned through the years He usually places a desire on your heart and as you prayerfully press into it you will know His will and plan.

The second thing to know about hope, ‘there is a waiting period.’ If we have it at once, we do not need hope. But what you do as you wait makes an enormous difference in your life and disposition.  I choose to wait on God. I know He is faithful to His Word. He strengthens and gives us the grace to wait. His peace and joy will sustain you also as you wait. I choose to speak His Word aloud to myself at times because it produces faith to sustain a wait. The outcomes we want do not necessarily happen exactly the way we want but as your hope, trust and faith are placed in God He will produce in you a disposition that is maturing as you wait.

The third thing to know about hope is ‘God is our hope.’  Hebrews 6:19 “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, 20) where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.” This hope is a solid foundation in Jesus Christ sacrifice for our salvation. He bought our forgiveness. We are His Children when we repent and accept Jesus Christ and live in Him.

When hope wanes and the wait is long remind yourself God has you and is with you, because your hope in Him is the anchor of your soul. Your trust is placed in Him and not in yourself.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.”