Month: March 2021

How to Change Direction?

Have you ever drove in the wrong direction? I remember about 20 years ago I was traveling down a road thinking this doesn’t look right. But I kept going, while I was thinking I’m going in the wrong direction, but I kept going just in case I was wrong. After miles of wrong direction about 10 miles down, I turned around and found my way back to the interstate and headed in the right direction.

The word direction means “the course along which someone or something moves.” 1) the path along which something moves, lies, or points. 2) an order or instruction to be followed.”

“A direction is the general line that someone or something is moving or pointing in.” In a general sense we all are headed in a direction it just depends on what your plan, purpose and goal is to get to the direction you want to be. Such as going to college to get a degree in whatever your desire is to do in life. It is a direction and depending on the degree you want decides the plan, purpose and goal. But it’s still a life path of direction.

There are many life paths for all of us from education to apprentice trades to become journeymen, careers of all sorts from real estate to businesses, from laborers to CEO’s. All involve a direction to take to find the result you want.

But what happens when life throws us a curve ball and you must change your direction. At first, we can feel upset, disappointed and bewildered. And it’s ok to grieve the loss of a dream, plan or relationship. But don’t let it stop you let the grief out and then begin to dream a new dream.

This is when you give yourself permission to discover another direction. Then your plans will change, your perspective will grow, and life just may surprise you with something beautiful. I know God takes care of me so when life directions change, I speak the word of God over myself and I face the challenge. God has never let me down and He won’t let you down either.

Having resilience is essential to fulfilling a life direction. Sometimes overcoming a set back gives us the strength we needed to go farther than we could even imagine. Secondly when life’s direction changes, we may need to let go of people, places, and things that hold us captive to pain and toxicity. There are many articles and books on toxic people, situations, or things. But people who abuse, use, or justify their wrong behaviors and blame you for them are toxic. In those situations, a life change of direction is most essential to your mental health. Only God can change people but the person themselves must want to change. It is never an easy decision but seeking God’s help in those decisions will aid you to know when to walk and when to remain He will lead you.

Thirdly, putting God in the center of your life is the best decision you can make. Your gifts and abilities will find a way for you. But the ultimate gift of eternal life is found in Jesus. Through His death and resurrection, we are guaranteed a place in heaven. When you surrender your life to Christ you become a child of God. God has a blueprint and direction for your life.

The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Look to the Lord for the direction of life and He will guide you on the path your called to live.

How do you refocus when life is scrambled?

What is your focus on? Our focus may be on all kinds of things from home to careers and all that is in between. But what is going happen when your focus gets blurred due to unforeseen circumstances? That is when we need to refocus. What does refocus mean? It means “to focus again to change the emphasis or direction of.”

In the natural our view might be clouded caused by eye problems. Such as what I’m experiencing, I can see however not so clear in the left eye. I’m facing a cataract and partial corneal transplant surgery next month. So, I must focus to see.    

When things get a bit haywire what do you focus on? When life is scrambled with all kinds of ups and downs how do you keep your focus? I think it depends on what you’re focusing on. Our lives are made up of all kinds of important tasks and people who are involved in them. But to me the most essential focus that helps all the other areas in our lives is God and keeping my focus on Him.

There are many scriptures to help keep your focus clear. When your heart and mind are on the Lord it trains you to keep a clear focus. Keeping your heart and mind clear is most important. When our hearts are right with God and we stay humble and contrite we will keep a clear focus.

How do you focus when life is scrambled? By going back to God letting Him refocus your heart and mind. Laying the cares of the day at His feet and receiving His peace. Getting alone with the Lord is the first step to refocusing. Only God can tell you what is really in your heart. When we come before Him with thanksgiving and praise Him for who He is this will affect your focus.

When we come to the Lord with our cares and concerns without thanksgiving the focus becomes lopsided. But when I turn my eyes on Jesus and thank Him for who He is and for what He has done. Then my focus becomes clearer. A peace settles over me and I can petition my prayers through His focus.

God knows clearer what I need than I know or what others need. Each day has new challenges but everyday our focus can stay clear as we allow God to lead, guide and focus our day.

What constitutes a good woman?

The culture of today may think how a person looks or what their net worth is makes a good woman. But I can assure you it does not. No one is good except God but each one of us has the potential to have good character.

I believe a woman of quality character is more valuable than wealth. One who is honest, loyal, has integrity, humility, hardworking and puts God first is more valuable than a priceless gem. I asked my husband what he thought a good woman was he said a Proverbs 31 woman like you. Thank you, Roger.

You can have good character and not love God but when God is first there is a grace of inner beauty that cannot be compared to. The bible talks about such a woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. King Lemuel’s words came from what his mother taught him. She spoke with words of wisdom and words for finding a virtuous wife. We all can look at this passage of scripture and glean from her wisdom. But whether your single or married you can be a virtuous woman. A woman of excellent character.

In verse 30 it says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” So often we put pressure on ourselves about appearance and God looks more at our hearts. God chose David based on his heart and not his appearance it is the same for us.

There is nothing wrong in taking care of yourself it is healthy to do so. Plus, there is nothing wrong in wearing makeup, jewelry, getting your nails done etc. I think the point I’m making is all those things are good although not what is it that makes your character have value.

Your value is derived from God and your character shows in your actions, that is based in your heart, beliefs and thoughts. Out of our heart flows the issues of life the bible says. In Matthew 15:18-19 Jesus said “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”

Good character could be developed through conscious genuine effort in, one allowing God to change our character deficits and two by allowing humility, work ethics, relationships to work out our rough edges. Sometimes we want others to change but we forget to let God change us first.

As a woman I know that we try not to let the world around us affect us but as a woman I know the battle to keep peace of mind is real. I choose to speak the Word of God to the things that try to rob my peace and keep my mind on God. In a world of comparisons, it may be difficult to not do a comparison to others. Comparing yourself to somebody else is a trick of the enemy because God created you unique, and one of kind. You do not need to be like anyone else. Compare your character to Jesus He will work on making you Christlike.  

As a woman I know it does help not to wear my emotions on my sleeve and to look at situations with faith and not fear. Yes, it’s easier said than done but when you mediate on Gods word it flows out of your inner man and comes forth out of your mouth. He fights our battles. I have learned to trust God over my emotions, thoughts and body. Every day brings new challenges for women and men but through Christ we are overcomers.

Whether you know that or not you have an unseen enemy and God’s Son who is the living Word won the battle for you. So, allow Him to help you as you go along your day. It’s time to enjoy being the woman God created you to be.    

What constitutes a good man?

Have you ever heard someone say, ‘oh he’s a good man?” I’ve heard those words about my husband lots of times. So, what does it mean to be a good man? What kind of character traits do you see in a person that constitutes a good man?

To me a good man is a faithful, honest, kind, caring and hardworking. These are the qualities I see in Roger. No one is perfect but when we are quick to admit we are wrong and repent, ask for forgiveness we grow as individuals and as a couple.

All relationships take time to develop. As your relationships grow trust is developed in little ways. Such as honoring your word. That is a straightforward way to show your faithfulness if you said it, then do it.

Empathy is an essential element in relationships because if you cannot empathize with the persons feelings how can you show them love. Men may not always ‘understand’ a woman’s feelings, but they still can show empathy in ways she needs.

Good is a word used to describe a person who has good character. A man of good character is like a ‘well built building.’ He can withstand the storms of life because he is strong in character. A man with integrity and reliable, trustworthy, strong in ways that are helpful and resilient.

I asked my husband what his definition of a good man is. He said, “Being true to yourself and the one you are with.” Which means knowing who you are and not going beyond that. Self-discipline, a spirit of excellence, humility and friendly are all good qualities in a man he said.

Men and women were designed differently by God and we will look at a good woman on another day. One way to know if a person has good character is to watch how they react in situations. Good character does not abuse or use those who are around them. Good character sees the best in others and empowers them to use their gifts and talents. A man of good character will celebrate those around him and their accomplishments. And if married along with their wife and children’s accomplishments too.

A man of good character will lay down his life for his wife like Christ did for His bride the Church. Only God is good Jesus said. But you can have good character. I believe a man who loves God with all his heart and who is humble will always have good character.  

Healthy Relationships 101