Month: December 2019

1920-2020

I wrote in my journal this morning.  2019 is almost over and 2020 is clear vision.  Praise God it’s the end of a decade.  I wonder how people felt going into 1920.  It’s been 100 years of change, lives lived and lost.  Numerous good and bad things happened in that time span.  Today there is an end as well as a beginning.  Welcome the future, release your past and embark on new adventures.

In 2020 I pray clarity in the United States.  Also, clarity for each one of us to see clearly the truth and lies and to see clearly the Love of God for each one of us.

Happy New Year

What is fear?

Great question I’ve been pondering from yesterday morning.  I read Psalm 46 yesterday and that it states in verse 1 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. V.2 Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea…”

I love the therefore we will not fear because God is our present help.  So, what is fear? According to the Dictionary fear is, “An unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger real or imagined.”

Fear can be triggered in the nervous system by our perception of danger real or imagined.  So, fear is a part of our design by God to warn us but what happens when it’s out of balance?  Phobias, worries, anxiety develop. 

God gave us a built-in alarm system once you know what fear is, I believe it’s easier to stop a fear from over taking your thinking.  By asking yourself is this real or imagined fear. Then your answer can help you to do what is necessary to overcome.  A real danger needs an answer.  Fear is a warning system that helps protect us when it’s a real danger. 

God always has a way out or through trouble.  I love that he is ever present in it with us.  God’s word tells us in 1 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.”  The word states God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear.  Meaning our spirit has power, love and a sound mind.  That’s what he has given us.  Don’t let fear control you but do allow fear to warn in real danger.  Not listening to fear in real danger will cause you harm. 

Everyone experiences fear its part of our nervous system.  It’s how you respond to it that gives it or takes away its power. People who use fear to hurt others are unhealthy or commonly called toxic.  What they’re really doing is trying to control you.  Remember no one can control you unless you let them.  Don’t let their use of fear deceive you into giving them power over you.

Look at fear for what it is that it is a biological response from your nervous system to warn of danger real or imagined. That is why are thoughts are so important.  If we let fear get into our thoughts it will take over.  Speak God’s word to it.  That is why in 2 Timothy 1:7 Paul tells Timothy “For God has not given you a spirit of fear…  He was instructing Timothy to realize the place where fear was coming from.  When fear gains control all kinds of problems develop. 

God’s love cast out fear.  Rest in His love for you.  Trust His love for you because it is more powerful than your fear.  1 John 4:18 states, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  This in reference to fear that is out of balance or trying to take over.

When fear is the response of real danger, we hear it but when it comes to an imagined danger, we don’t listen to it.  This is when speaking God’s word into an imaginary fear will help you calm yourself.

Remember Jesus conquered fear and death by His love!

Taste and See…

Merry Christmas

At Christmas time what we eat tastes wonderful and sights we see are beautiful.  Colored or white lights, yards sparkling with decorations.  Cookies and breads which are made that taste great and smell wonderful.  All our senses are experiencing the wonder of the season.

One of my favorites scriptures is found in Psalm 34: 8 “Oh Taste and See that the LORD is good, Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.”

Taste and see is tangible for our senses experiencing the Lords goodness.  Christmas is a “See” moment where we experience the Lord’s goodness.  He sent His Son to come as a child and experience all that we experience ultimately sacrificing his life for ours.

Seeing a child born is a wonderful experience of life.  One that we can all look back on regarding the birth of Jesus.  The angels sang on His arrival and declared glory to God.  The shepherds witnessed the glorious sight.  No one could steal this ‘see’ moment from them.  They went to find the baby Jesus.

We also celebrated his arrival at Christmas morning.  Every day can be a ‘see’ moment as you trust God.  His goodness is expressed all around you if we like the shepherds stop and look.

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.”  Taste means figuratively in the Hebrew Dictionary “perceive” in this passage.  Perceive means “become aware or conscious of (something) come to realize or understand.”

Oh, with exclamation ‘taste’ perceive and ‘see’ behold, experience, look that the LORD is good.  Christmas represents new life for each one of us as we look and become aware of Jesus.

“Blessed is the man(person)who trusts in the Lord.”  This is the perfect time to trust the Lord with all your life.

Caring, concerns, and comings are all in the Lords hands which you can rest today with his love for you.

Strengthen your relationships…

There are some things that strengthen relationships.  Misunderstanding is if it is a good relationship you don’t need to do anything to help it.  Status quo doesn’t apply in relationships.  That mistaken belief has ruined many relationships.  Be it marital, friend or family relationship input should go in to get a healthy return.

The Bible says, ‘what you sow you reap.’  If your wish is to grow healthy relationships, then sow time and energy on them.

How do you strengthen your relationships?

First by contact with meaningful occasions of common experiences of friendship and communication.

Meaningful shared occasions could be anything from dinner to adventures.  Going to the movies, lunch, shopping, playing games, sporting events etc.  These are bonding moments which are relationship builders.  Time spent with someone is equal to caring.

Communication is an essential part of all relationships. There are five levels of communication according to Dr. Gary Smalley.

First is, “clichés which are phrases or opinions that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.”  Wikipedia states, “A cliché is an expression, idea or element of an artistic work  which has become over used to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritation, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel.” 

So, it’s superficial conversation because it lacks originality.  Sort of like a safe conversation that only speaks about surface stuff personal information is not given.  One can understand why this is first level of communication.

The second level of communication is ‘Facts.’  Facts are “a thing that is known or proved to be true.” Facts also are “A piece of information used as evidence or as part of a report or news article.  Facts are used in discussing the significance of something that is the case.”  This level of communication is still safe because it is proven information facts.  Their opinions aren’t involved.

The third level of communications is ‘Opinions.’ “Opinions are a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”  Also, “opinion is an estimation of the quality or worth of someone or something.”  This is the place where we are giving our opinions.  This level of communication is also where conflicts arise.  If you experience conflict during opinion giving, we must realize our opinions are just opinions not always facts. 

If a person has any roots of shame their opinion is connected to their identity and this causes problems in conflict.  Why, because they’re going to think you don’t love them if you don’t accept their opinion.

The fourth level of communication is ‘feelings.’  “Feelings are an emotional state or reaction.”  Emotions are an essential component of the communication on the intimate level.  That it is safe to say I feel is a deeper level of communication.  It’s healthy to voice how you’re feeling and knowing the individual who your telling your own feelings too also is listening.  Even though they may or may not understand your feelings but that their listening is an intimate conversation.  This leads to sharing what you need.

The fifth level of communication is ‘needs.’  “Needs are a necessity. A need is something that is necessary for an organism to live a healthy life.”  Knowing how you feel and what you need is essential to a healthy relationship.  It could be as simple as needing a hug.

Begin today enhancing your relationships.

Be a Lighthouse…

Can you imagine being on a large lake and it’s the middle of the night and there is no lighthouse?  How do you assess the distance to shore and how do you see in the storm to land safely?  I imagine that the advantages of a light house to all boats are lifesaving.

According to Google “a Lighthouse is a tower with a bright light at the top, located at an important or dangerous place regarding navigation.”  Also, “the two main purposes of a light house are to serve as a navigational aid and to warn boats of dangerous areas.  It is a traffic sign on the sea.”

How do we become a lighthouse?  The only way I know to be a navigational aid is by being a living example.  People can give a lot of advice but realistically you must be living your advice for others to benefit from it. 

Children learn by what they see their parents do.  You can say all kinds of stuff to your children that sounds great but if you’re not walking in it, they are not learning because they learn by what they see you do.

We too need to be in line with our words.  The bible says “light exposes darkness” but it doesn’t simply happen by words you see light it shines in darkness.

When we are near people who are struggling be a light of comfort and strength.  Be aware that a person who is down doesn’t need to be told to cheer up, they need comfort.  Being comfort by sitting with them or just listening to them with out advice giving.  Just be a listening ear.  Let your compassion shine like a lighthouse.

I recently heard a minister say and I’m paraphrasing “Comfort people who are hurting.  Don’t say just have faith.  When Jesus said to his disciples, ‘he was sorrowful unto death,’ would you say to Jesus just have faith?  No then don’t do it to others especially the hurting.”  This reminds me of the page, ‘When compassion isn’t compassion’ on this website. 

I’ve been in a lot of pain in my low back and right hip muscle, it is so painful I must stop and ice it.  I’m walking with crutches to alleviate pain also.  I need to get stronger and stand straighter to help ease this pain, but the ankle isn’t completely ready to stop hurting and it’s stiff and causing me to limp.

If someone was lecturing me on walking straight it wouldn’t help me.  That’s what Pt is for.  I went up for prayer Sunday because I felt safe to say my back is hurting and the lady’s prayed for me and hugged me and I left feeling invigorated and loved.  For me this is another way of an uplifting lighthouse moment for me.  Jesus is the Light of the World his light will shine through us. We can pray for others in a way which builds them up.

Being the living example of Jesus is being a lighthouse let his light shine through you.

We know a lighthouse also warns of an imminent threat of the boulders and shore that could cause damage to ships.  When we are giving warning, we ought to choose our words wisely.  When we warn we need to choose words with truth seasoned in grace.  The bible instructs us to be merciful.  There are occasions to speak and not to speak.  Being a light house through example is still speaking. 

Once you have Jesus’ light you will be a lighthouse wherever you go.  John 8:12 “Then Jesus spoke to them again, Saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life.”    

Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Let God’s light shine like a lighthouse through you.

Shine like a lighthouse

I was given the boot…

Today is my four-month doctor appointment since surgery.  I was given the boot to the boot. 

I don’t need to wear the grey boot!!! Yay!  This was a longer recovery, but my ankle is healed well.  I still must continue with physical therapy and I’m doing good. I was thinking about this day the boot was a good support and if I have a lot of walking Doctor said still use it.

I have learned through the years knowing your own body is important.  When your sore or weary stop and rest.  When we overdue and push our bodies beyond their endurance we will wear our bodies down.  We become more vulnerable to weariness, exhaustion and sickness.

I’m learning to admit my signs of the need to stop, sit and rest.  When I was younger, I would push till I was so painful I couldn’t walk, and I would like to volunteer for everything.  I didn’t realize my own need of boundaries.

However, I learned and continue learning when to say no and yes with thought.  So, by the time we commit, we counted costs of the commitment.  Should you commit not taking cost into account, you will be running yourself ragged. 

We can assess our why’s.  Why must I say yes when I want to say no?  Most often it is because we’re afraid of someone’s disapproval or we’re trying to win their approval.

Sole approval we need is God’s, ask Him what you should or shouldn’t do?  Be conscious of His leading and you won’t be doing it in your own strength. One question for all of us should ask ourselves, what should you give the boot too?  Things, habits, addictions etc.  Take a moment and ask God is their anything I need to let go of?   He will give you the grace to let go of it.

Should I forgive?

That is a difficult question to many people.  But your answer is yes, we should forgive!  Why yes, because forgiving someone isn’t about them it’s for you.

Forgiveness gives empowering for yourself.  It relieves negative thoughts and emotions.  It doesn’t mean what’s happened wasn’t wrong it simply means you’re moving on in your life.

It also doesn’t imply reconciliation.  Forgiveness is the choice of your will.  But sometimes separation is necessary from the person who doesn’t change.

We cannot make anyone change or do something.  We just have control over ourselves.  If you go in a circle year after year, it will make a rut.  To get out of the rut you must change something.

Boundaries help us understand where we are and what we are willing to tolerate.  If you don’t have any boundaries, you’ll be stuck or put in a position of compromising yourself about something that isn’t what you really want.

So, should I or shouldn’t I forgive yes, we should but it does not mean sometimes how we think.  What I mean is that sometimes we think forgiveness is for the other person when in fact it is for you. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.  You release yourself from the revenge or I deserve and empowering yourself to move on.

Saying I will never forgive them is a life sentence on yourself.  God takes care of the vengeance part of injustices done to us.  We may rest in His plans and to release ourselves from holding unforgiveness against someone.

Jesus forgave us, ask for help to release whatever unforgiveness which is tormenting you.

Choose to forgive, set boundaries and live in the freedom of God’s love in Christ Jesus for you.

The Marvelous Mind & Know your thoughts!

What is your mind and how do you know your thoughts?  Knowing what’s the function of your mind helps you to know your thoughts.  These are questions that will help you to overcome and become conscious of your thoughts.

Randomly letting your mind wander in any and every direction can lead you down the negative paths of fear, anxiousness, and overthinking.  Then your mind will dwell there and finally produce depressing thoughts and emotions.

Knowing what’s on your mind is a way of recognizing the thinking and adjusting those thoughts in the onset.  It takes some practice but when we choose to refocus on healthy, positive or uplifting things redirecting becomes a habit.

For example, last night I woke up four times and it took me longer than normal to go back to sleep.  As I laid there a strange thought about life and death came to my mind.  I started to think about our health, ages etc. and then I said to myself ‘wait a minute I’m not thinking this way.’  It left as quickly as it came.  Those weren’t my normal thoughts an enemy of my soul tried to make me fearful I refused it.  This is just a small example of how out of nowhere you can think thoughts that don’t originate in you and if they do you still can refuse those thoughts.

The mind consists in three functions “thinking, feeling and wanting” or another way to say it “thoughts, emotions and desires.”

Your thought, emotions and desires are connected.  When we know our thoughts and choose on what we want to think on we will begin to redirect our thoughts and emotions.  Over thinking, analyzing, turns into fretting and descends into emotions of distress, anxiousness, fear, unhappiness and depression etc.

The Bible teaches us to keep our mind on good things, pure things and good reports.

This Bible passage teaches us how to not be anxious.  Through prayer and thanksgiving give it over to God.  In Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be  made known to God; 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”   When we take these anxious, worrisome thoughts and give them and all the areas there concerning us to God His response is peace.  Only His peace can guard the heart and mind.  Jesus purchased peace for us, and peace of heart and mind is part of it.

I like how the Bible tells us how to apply it by thinking on these things in Philippians 4:8 states, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise worthy meditate on these things.”

Meditate here means just that, turn it around in your thoughts all these good things.

Another good scripture that I like to lean on is found in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You.”  Once again, a promise of perfect peace with a practical application.  I love how practical God is.

Why so we can have peace.  Peace on the inside with our thoughts/thinking, emotions/feelings and desires/wants.  Truly our minds are marvelous.

When we ‘know are thoughts’ we’re recognizing what we are thinking and then we will begin changing our wrong thinking quicker.

What does that mean to me this means when we recognize our thoughts and take accountability for them in our thinking, we can change how we’re thinking.  You have a choice on what you think on.

Disappointment do’s and don’ts

What are they and how do we walk through them?  It’s safe to say everyone experiences disappointments sometime in their lives.  Some disappointments are slight and therefore easier to let it go.   

The word disappointment means: “a feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.” Another meaning for disappointment is, “the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the defeat of ones hopes and expectations.”  These are the same just worded a little differently.

Bigger disappointments can cause us to draw back in and that is when you’ve not dealt with your own expectations and feelings.

When we don’t deal with the disappointments they will worsen into discouragement and then despondency.  Disappointments deal with our expectations and hopes.  Therefore, we can change our thinking about them.  The choice is ours. Some things are easier to let go of than others.  It’s the other things that need to be worked through. 

For example, I have plans to go to lunch with a friend and they must cancel.  That’s a little disappointment but I move on and do something different because we all get unplanned interrupting events we must deal with.

But when the expectation of the event is high and it doesn’t happen then disappointment in forms of sadness, frustration and even hurt can and should be dealt with.

So how do you deal with and walk through disappointments? 

First, recognize your disappointed, write it down or talk it out.  Repressing it or stuffing it only makes it worsen.

Secondly, step back and detach from the feelings of the disappointment and take a good look at every side of it.  Ask your self a few questions such as ‘were my expectations to high’ or ‘was this out of my control’?  What ever question that helps you to get the right perspective is the question for you.

Thirdly, pray about it. God knows how your feeling and thinking.  Therefore, be honest about it in your prayers.

Fourthly, allow God to heal your heart concerning the hurting disappointments.