Month: October 2019

The Lost Art of Kindness

Kindness matters

What does it mean to be kind? How do you know when you’re not being kind? What does the fruit of kindness look like?

2019 seems to be the year of people saying and doing unkind words and deeds. All over Facebook, Twitter and News Media you see and read of more and more unkind things being said. Politics has revved it up on all sides.

People are believing everything any news person they like says and then spewing it out as if they know it’s a fact. 

But somewhere kindness is still alive. Some random acts of kindness still happen, people still respond to needs of tragedies and losses with compassion. Neighbors still help one another in some neighborhoods.

Step back and ask God what he thinks about kindness.

First what does kindness mean? It means “The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.”

Here are a few similar words meaning kindness: “Tenderness, goodwill, concern, care, helpful, selflessness, compassion, sympathy, understanding, warmth, affection, friendliness, benevolence, neighborliness, patience, tolerance, mercifulness, decency, charitableness, and graciousness.”

How do you know when you’re not being kind? We all have a conscience. God will let you know through your conscience. Our Conscience will tell us when we are not kind, but we must be listening and responsive. When we realize we weren’t kind apologize for it, don’t ignore it. Recognize it and ask forgiveness.

What is the fruit of kindness? Being friendly when you don’t know someone, giving a hand of help when you can, if someone drops something picking it up, holding a door open and smiling all equals friendliness.

More fruit of kindness equals waiting without an attitude, patience. Or waiting in line when the cashier is slow and the person in front of you is causing a backup and not complaining but smiling that’s kindness in action.

I saw on Facebook a well know celebrity and a politician were seated by each other at a sport event. The celebrity was berated on social media just for sitting next to someone who doesn’t believe like she does. She addressed this issue with diplomacy and kindness and ended with “just be kind.”

I thought about how God used her words to remind all of us kindness matters.

It is time to stop putting our opinions and attitudes above good manners. Did you ever hear the saying ‘Manners Matter’? I forget who said it, but it is true, and kindness is good manners.

The bible tells us kindness is a fruit of the Spirit and its love. Real love is kind…

Its time to be neighborly again. Sometimes it takes a lot more strength to be kind then grumpy. But I have faith we can change and be kinder and helpful.

Show kindness not just to your own little group but to someone you don’t know or don’t like.

It’s also time to stop listening to the negative reports and become the kindness needed around us.

Kindness Matters and Love never fails!

The Grace Factor…

Grace for all situations

Do you feel weak? Do you struggle daily with…? Are you exasperated by situations that continue and there’s nothing you can do? Then it’s time to learn the Grace Factor.

John 1:16 states, “And of His fullness we have all received, and Grace for grace. For the Law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”

Grace is not just a salutation of a letter written to different people in the Bible. Nor is it an ending to the letter written. 

It is a declaration of a substantial substance that each one of us can have and walk in. Jesus came in the fullness of grace to give us grace. Grace is a saving, sufficient/satisfying and sustaining power for each of us.

I preached a message in the early 90s on grace. Out of this message I have continued to rely on and grow in God’s grace. It helps me walk, endure and continue to move forward in my life.

God gave me the gifts to teach, preach and counsel. I’m not eloquent in my language skills or powerful in my voice volume but God knew that and anointed what he called. He taught me through the last 30 years to receive, rely and relax in His Grace.

In 2Corinthians 12:9 it states, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” The apostle prayed 3x for the Lord to take away whatever he was going through and this is what Jesus said to Him.

The grace of God is tangible you can sense and feel the empowerment to do what you have and need to do. The grace factor is His presence with and in you to get it done or to hold on to whatever it is in your life…

The Bible states we can grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. 2Peter 3:17 “but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” That means it continues for us. You literally can grow in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

How do you apply the grace factor?

First, ask Jesus to come into your life, if you have never done this before. Repent for your sins and receive him today now is a good time. Yes, it is that simple!

Because saving grace is a gift from God.  Ephesians 2:4-5 “But God, who is rich in Mercy, of His great love with which He loved us, 5 Even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. (by grace you have been saved) Verse 8 “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, least anyone should boast.”

You cannot do good deeds to earn grace. If you could earn it Jesus wouldn’t have needed to come and give it. Grace for grace.

Ask and receive for more grace if you already are a child of God’s. Simply ask for it.

Secondly, rely on his grace to sustain and empower you as you walk and live in this life on earth. His grace is sufficient to give you strength in weakness, endurance in weariness, help in trouble and empowerment to go and be all you can be. That is the grace factor in action.

Thirdly, relax on and in the grace of God. How by not striving in things but relaxing on His grace in and through things or situations. When you are depending on God and listening for instructions when needed you can relax that He will give you what you need when you need it.

This is how you grow in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ who is the Grace factor.

Hard or Broken

When you’re hardhearted you get kind of crusty. But broken bread is sweet smelling and tasty. Falling on a stone will hurt the physical body but what happens when you fall on the Stone? How does God use us? 

In Matthew 21:42-44 “Jesus said to them “Have you never read in the Scriptures: “The Stone the builders rejected Has become the chief cornerstone. This was the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes? 43 “therefore I say to you the kingdom of God will be taken from you and given to a nation bearing fruits of it. 44 And whoever falls on this stone will be broken; but on whoever it falls, it will grind him to powder.”

What kind of brokenness was he talking about? This verse “whoever falls on the stone will be broken” means surrender.

When you choose to fall on Jesus your surrendering your life and your following Him. The Spirit of God is working in our lives to be Christ-like.

God doesn’t make you do anything. He will lead you and supply the grace so you can do, but force never you always have a choice. He’ll lead you to lay down your life attitudes, choices and actions at times. But it’s always for your betterment not for destruction.

Being broken on Jesus isn’t like a broken object. It just means you surrender to him and allow him to flow through you whenever and wherever.

Be broken on Him to me is allowing Him to search my heart and show me my stinky attitudes, actions and words. I repent of those and He forgives and changes me through steps of obedience.

Being broken also means it is important to not get caught up in telling people they should and should not.   Love people and let God deal with it.

This is how God uses us. You can empower others to seek God through encouragement, comfort and the enthusiasm you have for God. Be led by the Spirit of God He knows what a person needs.  

The Holy Spirit’s job is to convict and he’s good at it.  

Our place is to speak the truth in love not condemnation. When you have a truth your to speak and it’s going to be hard to hear ask the Holy Spirit to give you the right words.  Not what you want but what he wants you to say.  You don’t win the lost with a hammer! Only love produces life.

God loves people he sent his Son to die because he loved the World. It’s time to choose our words wisely and allow the Holy Spirit to convict of sin. Rethink your posts, tweets and words run it through the Holy Spirits leading. I need this Lord start with me.     

Little Things Add up…

started as  bulbs

Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most! Whether it’s in a positive or negative way the little things will add up.

What does that mean? All the little things that have been said or done in relationships add up with either a positive or negative result.

Yes, little things add up in positive ways too.  I thank God for each little positive thing in my relationship’s, life and body. It is a healthier perspective to be grateful in all things especially when you’re going through hard times.

Little things add up concerning relationships also. Couples don’t divorce over one thing most of the time. But usually an accumulation of things begins to add up and pile together and become a larger than life problem.

Once it’s gotten that far the couple will be saying to themselves, I’m sick of this or I’ve had enough. And these words sow into yourself divorce attitude.

Remember it always takes two people to divorce. One person can’t be the savior of the couple only Jesus is the savior. Yes, He can save you and heal a marriage. But since God gave us a will to choose, He will not go against it. We must be willing to change and allow him to do a work in us and our spouse must be willing also.

Another thing to remember is we all have perspectives.  This doesn’t mean our perspectives are right in every situation. So, we need to be teachable to hear others.

Be willing to choose to discuss things, hearing the complaint from the other person helps us to grow. It’s when we are determined we are right, and they are wrong is when we get all defensive. This also leads to a win-lose attitude which is destructive for relationships. I’ve told couples it’s win-win or you both lose because your relationship will suffer.

This is not about abuse in any form. This is the regular irritations, miscommunications or hurts that we don’t deal with. They will add up.

Someone once said I like conflict, I said no I don’t, but I’ve learned through the years what you don’t talk about, address or work through only causes bigger problems.

Therefore, address stuff right away but pick the right time, never is not the right time. Give the person a positive affirmation first, then address the issue or situation.  Don’t bring up the past, address the now. Then end by positive affirmation which means tell them something nice about them.

When we do little positive things for each other it adds up and fills up our good emotion reserves then when one of us does a negative unintentionally it doesn’t cause a serious problem. Little things do add up.

The Waiting Game…

These were worth the wait

Waiting, waiting, waiting is how it feels sometimes when situations are out of our control. We all wait for different things but still we experience waiting periods. What do you do while you wait?

We found out yesterday we have mold in our crawlspace. So, we lined up contractors and now we wait. Some could come sooner than others. But wisdom says, get an estimate from at least three contractors who do mold remediation, drainage and encapsulation. All we saw yesterday was $ signs.

As I thought about years ago when I had mold in my apartment in the ducts and walls how I was sick and hospitalized several times from lung issues before we found the mold. Fear tried to knock on my mind.

Funny thing is yesterday I had to apply what I wrote on. I refused to be afraid that one month is going to hurt us. I spoke Gods Word to it. I like this scripture when I don’t understand the whys. Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

Is mold good? Absolutely not but it’s good we found it because you can’t fix what you don’t know about.  And that’s the problem with waiting you just don’t know.  Whether it’s time, cost or how it will happen whatever the situation is you just don’t always know which then causes a waiting on.

How do you wait? One way is to remind yourself time is my friend not my enemy! However long it takes God’s got the solution and He will bring it to pass.  Now it may not be the way we want but His love is greater, and His will is perfect.

That may be a hard sentence for you if you don’t know the love of God. But knowing His character and having a relationship with him helps to understand while you wait.

Sometimes we wait years. I waited 19 years for my husband Roger. He waited 24 years for me.  Roger and I both were divorced. We both dated  people in those years, and it taught us what we didn’t and did want in a relationship.

But eventually God connected us. We knew each other for 9 years never dated lost touch I forgot his last name, he looked for me, but I had moved from one apartment to another because of mold.

But one day in fall of 2011 he came back to the Church I was at and we reconnected. This relationship is like no other I’ve had. We have a love that is based in solid connection and commitment. We have comradery, laughter, tenderness and even disagreements. To me waiting for this relationship was worth all the years of heartache and loneliness etc.

I wrote about our wait so that you can see and hear that I understand the emotions of waiting, waiting and more waiting.

The word of God tells us in Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

What does that mean? It means those waiting on the Lord can have renewed strength while they wait. It means you can rise above the wait and not get weary while you wait. It means you can keep going while you wait, they shall walk and not faint. 

But how you may be thinking. By keeping your eyes/focus on God. Remind your self your waiting on God not people or situations.   

Dusty Ducts…

We were supposed to have our duct work cleaned today. What does that entail? They come in and clean out all the ducts and returns. Plus, it includes furnace cleaning. It leaves the home with fresh air to breathe  through your ducts.

But they couldn’t clean our ducts because there is mold in the crawl space. So now we must deal with the underlying problem before the ducts can be cleaned. 

As I ponder on this, I thought of how the mind and body are designed. The brain is fascinating how complex and intricate almost like a computer. The thoughts you think build or destroy your health.

I’m not an expert on the physiology of the human body. But the Bible tells us a lot about thoughts.  Proverbs says, “as a man thinks so is, he…” Isaiah 26:3 states, “You will keep him in perfect peace, who’s mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.”

Unchecked thoughts are like dust in the ducts it just builds up until it’s causing problems.

We are designed by God with a will to choose. You can choose which thoughts you will allow to stay, and which ones need to go. The choice is yours!  But when thoughts are left unchecked and their anxious, negative or fearful they build more of the same thoughts.

I want to grow my brains capacity and so can you. There are many things that help our brains. Just a few things healthy foods, exercises and learning something new help to grow a healthy brain. There are lots of other things too.

But you can start by changing your thoughts; the Bible clearly tells us how. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5- casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Strongholds are thought patterns that entrench in your mind trying to keep you blocked.  They become like and argument in your own head telling you why you can’t…

So, how do you change your thoughts?  First by cleaning out the anxious, negative and fearful thoughts. Tear them down using your will and in Jesus name refuse to allow them to stay.  Sometimes you may have to speak it out loud.

Secondly, by replacing those thoughts with positive, faith and uplifting scriptures and good thoughts. Such as God’s love, His peace, and  joy thoughts etc. Find a scripture that fits your situation and think on that.

2 Timothy 1:6  tells us fear isn’t from God.  Philippians chapter 3 is an excellent passage of scripture to help with anxiousness and thinking on good things. 

Positive thinking alone will not eradicate the anxious, negative or fearful thoughts. You will need to tear them down in Jesus name and replace them when it’s been a long habit. Sometimes forgiveness is necessary to start the process especially if your holding onto what someone has done or said to you. 

I believe once you begin to activate your will and choose your thoughts regularly you will see a difference in your mental outlook.

The Rejection Connection

The Rejection Connection 

 

We all face rejection. I don’t think it’s a matter of if but when. There are different forms of rejection but it’s still rejection. It can sting in your heart and play with your mind if you let it.

Some people can shake rejection off easier than others but in the end most of us if not all of us have faced rejection in our lives.

Rejection is part of conflicts and most people try to avoid conflicts. I don’t think anyone likes rejection either.

But what do you do when you’re faced with it? The truth is you have choices and these choices will determine your attitude and outcome through rejection.

The first way some people handle rejection is, to wallow in it and retaliate. If you allow yourself to wallow and retaliate it will cause you more rejection. It puts you in a harder place to heal because unforgiveness will grow deeper. This is not a healthy way to deal with rejection.

The second way some people handle rejection is, to run away and build walls. Running away from the hurt and building a wall so you won’t feel rejection only makes you hard hearted and bitter. Bitterness will grow and effect all your relationships. This also is not a healthy way to deal with rejection.

The third way some people handle rejection is, to identify it, let it out, forgive and move on.

To identify it means recognize the anxiety, hurt or frustration over the rejection. Let it out means talk to someone or journal the hurt and release the emotion of it, cry if need be. Then choose to forgive who or what ever the cause of rejection is. Moving on after the rejection is dealt with will feel like freedom to you. This is the healthy way to deal with rejection.

But, if your struggling with rejection stop for a moment and think about this scripture.

Isaiah 53:2-5 “For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground.” Maybe it feels like a dry place. “He has no form or comeliness; And when we see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him.” Means not handsome, nothing in his appearance would attract you to him. 3- “He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” He understands rejection to its deepest hurt. “And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him”  Everyone forsake him.   4-“Surely He as borne our grief’s and carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.”  He was stricken and smitten for us.  5-“But He was wounded for our transgression, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by his stripes we are healed.” 

Wow!  Jesus went through severe rejection by not only the Jewish leaders but by all even his closest friends and family. So, if your struggling over rejection call on the Lord to help you through the rejection and give him the hurt and He will heal you.  Choose forgiveness and peace and healing today.

The rejection connection is we all face it.  The choice is yours choosing the right way to handle it produces freedom.

What are Nagy Tags?

Cubby eats Nagy Tags

Nagy Tags are those irritating small things that can nag at you. Such as a shirt tag it starts itching and bugs you till you either ignore it or tear it off.

Usually those tags bug me when its inconvenient to cut or pull them off. Then I’ll forget about it throw it in the wash and end up wearing it again.

Then oops there’s that Nagy Tag again.  Life has Nagy Tags too. They are the unwanted irritants that bug us. When we don’t deal with them, they’ll be back.  How do we deal with these Nagy Tags?

First thing is to know why something bothers you. If it is bothering you, are you angry about it?  If so, is it frustrating, a hurt or causing you to fear? Knowing what is under the original bother helps to resolve it.

Second once you know choose how to deal with it. If it’s a simple Nagy Tag on a shirt cut it off because if you pull it which I have it can rip the shirt.

 So, evaluate your options on dealing with the bothering situation. I know when we don’t address issues, they become Nagy Tags. Dealing with things in our life is healthy.

How you deal with situations doesn’t mean others will always understand but when done in love it helps them to hear you.

Anytime we address an issue validate the person, then being up the issue and then end by validating the person.

Remember the longer you let a Nagy Tag go it will become a bigger aggravation.

They said this, the others say that; what is truth?

There are so many controversies right now concerning so many things not only in the United States but Worldwide. From Politics to Religion and let’s throw in aliens from outer space.

So, how do you know what is truth? First what does truth mean? It means, “the quality or state of being true.” “That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.” 

So, truth must be verifiable with facts not opinions. Wow how have we gotten so far from truth.

When I was a child it seemed like the news only told facts not opinions, like they do now and they only shared information that was verified by more than one source.

In the United States concerning Political parties’ truth is under attack. Truth must be verifiable. We need to investigate for ourselves truth. Read documents and make qualified decisions based on truth. But even other areas of life are under attack pertaining to truth. Vaccines, health treatments, religions etc. What ever is controversial causes divisions it seems.

But you can agree to disagree and still be united for one purpose truth. This blog is not about Republicans or Democrats it’s about being open to hearing and investigating for yourself.

So, don’t believe just because your favorite news station said it its true. We need to start reviewing for ourselves all documents, videos and hearings etc. and wait till all information is available to know whether we are hearing truth.

Since I’m a Christian I know what the Bible says about truth. John 8:31-32 “Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32)-And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Jesus is the Truth, the life and the way. Why do I know He is the Truth? Because He has verified his truth to me and its proven through multiple sources such as archaeological digs, documents, history plus, my personal testimony of his saving grace on my life and others I know.

In John 18: 37-38 “Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then? Jesus answered, “You say righty that I am a king and for this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” 38)-Pilate said to Him, “What is truth…”

Let’s be seekers of truth in all areas of life.

It is well…

Today was a good day. I found out my 25% of weight bearing on the ankle was more than the Physical Therapist’s. This explains the amount of pain I was in yesterday.

‘It is well with my soul.’  Is a title to a beautiful song that was written during tragedy.   But what does that mean and how can you say that in the midst of adversity or tragedy?

So first what is my soul? It is your mind, will and emotions. How can it be well with my mind, will and emotions? Especially in today’s world.

Your mind thinks, dreams and creates. Your emotions will follow your thoughts. But your will steers the mind. You can choose your thoughts or refuse thoughts.  I can choose to trust or worry. I can think on things that are good and lovely or negative and nasty. The choice is mine but remember as a person thinks the emotions will follow and soon if it’s not healthy thoughts it produces stress, fear and anxiousness. I can think on good things or bad the choice is mine as it is yours too.

The Bible states in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, what ever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.” The word of God gives us better things to mediate on. Meditate on those things not on bad, hard or fearful things.

Meditate means to mutter to oneself. Muttering is the things you are thinking on and revolving in your mind. I choose God’s word to think on especially if I can’t think of anything good in a situation.

I can say it is well with my soul even though my ankle’s hurt after PT.  Yes, ankles because my right is just as bad as the left was. Why can I say it is well? Because I choose to think on the good result in the end. It is one more step in my healing journey. God is working in me healing through this whole surgery-recovery process.

You may be in a healing journey also; it can be well with your soul too. As you choose to think on the good…