Practical Insights, by Dr. Annette – Relationships, life and love

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How to navigate the seasons of time.

scenic view of the forest during sunrise

What type of season are you in and how do you traverse through it? How, do we know when a season begins and ends? I have always related seasons to the four seasons of nature. But recently I came across a short reel on Facebook and the young preacher mentioned twenty-eight seasons found in Ecclesiastes. Which was a ‘oh yea’ moment because I have talked about the time to weep and time to laugh, I guess I never really thought about them as seasons.

What is a season? It is a period of a specific time in life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Throughout our life seasons change, and we look at the time periods based on the good and bad that happens. But if we judge each season by our own understanding, we can miss the goodness of God in the season of change we are in. Most people do not like unexpected change. It is one thing to choose to change and another to have it thrust on us.

Ecclesiastes 3: 2-8 “A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; 3) A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5) A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6) A time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 7) A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8) A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.”

No matter the time and season we are in we can be assured as God’s children He will direct our paths. Even when we do not understand what is happening and cannot answer the whys and why nots God is still in it with us. Recognizing the season, we are in is helpful to staying in peace when we have unanswered questions. God does not always tell us all the whys because then we would not have to trust Him.

Life does go through seasons the way we navigate seasons can help us or hinder us. The first thing to do is put your trust in Jesus, he will not leave you nor forsake you. Trusting God means you are relying on Him for your life and for His direction. It does not mean you do not do anything it means your surrendering your decisions to Him and trusting His word to lead and guide you. Trusting God means I let go of worrying about the outcome. I let go of trying to figure out what I cannot humanly know.

The second thing in navigating through seasons of life is having patience. That is not an excuse to do nothing it means having a good disposition while you wait. Within the scripture passage in Ecclesiastes there are good seasons which we all enjoy. They also need navigating because seasons change so enjoying, saving and building through it helps us to be prepared when the season changes.

Patience is one of those words no one likes to hear but it is so necessary to growth. We will not become mature without it. Let patience work in you a good disposition as you wait because Christlikeness is being developed within you.

I asked how we know when a season begins and ends. That is a hard question to answer because it is different for each one of us. A season can be a long or brief period. The end of a season is factored by God and how we grow through what we are going through. God does not cause the terrible things that happen we live in a fallen world, but we can trust in His Sovereignty and care as we go through each season, we are in.

No matter what season you are in you can be assured God will go through it with you.

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How does fear affect you and how to overcome it?

Fear can be rational or irrational. It can debilitate when left unchecked. Fear that is irrational becomes phobias. Some fear is normal and healthy. It is wisdom to recognize when a situation is compromised such as walking down an alley that is dark and unknown.

Fear as a noun means “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Similar words dread, panic, worry, angst, anxiety, unease… Fear as a verb “be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.”

Fear is a heightened sense of danger. How we respond to it and what we do with it can help us to overcome the emotion or give in to it. Our emotions are connected to our thoughts and our hearts and mind are also connected. The emotion of fear causes a fight or flight response. “The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.” Quote from Psychology Tools.com

Therefore, you think of something and instantly feel it. That is a powerful statement because when we can control our thoughts, we then can control our emotions.

Emotions can be triggered without a thought but then the thoughts come. For example, I’m looking at flowers as I’m typing, and it makes me smile with joy then I thought of the friend who gave them to me. It is a beautiful spring day, winter has left, and the joy of sunshine fills our house. For me that gives me thoughts of spring cleaning and making a list of chores that need to be done inside along with the outside work. If I was dreading the chores those thoughts would cause me stress and then those thoughts would lead to procrastinate the chores. How we think effects outcomes.

If how we think effects outcomes, then working on thinking healthy thoughts would help us. God’s word tells to think on good things. But we need to remember that to do this we must give the things that cause fear, stress and anxiety to the Lord through prayer.

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8) finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if the there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”

Since we are looking at how fear affects us the answer is in the fight or flight response. When we take control of our thoughts with truths, we can make quality decisions on what is the best response for us to make. Learning to speak the truth to yourself is not just being positive because that can become toxic. Speaking the truth to yourself is speaking what is truth about the situation and according to God’s word.

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How to Recognize and Defuse Anxiety…

Anxiety seems to be a word used often in the day and time we live in. So often now people say, ‘my anxiety.’ But we need to be empowered to reverse the anxiety so that it doesn’t just become who we are for the rest of our lives. What was once just passed over is now understood by its symptoms and that is important. People have anxiety for all kinds of reasons but there is help and hope for those who suffer with it.

First, what is anxiety? “Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.” Quote Mayo Clinic These are just some of the symptoms.

‘There is a normal anxiety that most people get before public speaking or taking a test.’ “Anxiety is only an indicator of underlying disease when feelings become excessive, all consuming, and interfere with daily living.” Quote Mayo Clinic I recommend if you are suffering with excessive and all-consuming anxiety it is time to seek professional help. You are valuable to God there is no shame in getting professional help.

Since an anxious mind is a fearful mind, we can look at it with the understanding that fear is at the root cause of anxiousness. When we allow our mind to stay fixed and focused on the situations of what ‘could be or won’t be’ it can become all consuming. This blog post is meant to help you recognize your thoughts and symptoms. And teach you how to change your thoughts so that you stop the worry and fear before it overcomes you. Fear is sneaky it waits and pounces when we least expect it. “Fear is an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Anxiety and fear have the fight or flight response. When in real danger fleeing is recommended. Our feeling of situations can distort our thinking and responses. That is why healthy self-talk can figure out if it is real or imagined.

The bible speaks a lot about fear and anxious thoughts. So from the word of God we can learn how to recognize, replace and overcome anxious thoughts. There are also healthy tools to help us to calm our emotions when anxious.

These two scriptures I speak to calm my mind when anxiety has tried to take over. Isaiah 26:3 NKJ “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Keeping our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of our faith is essential to keeping a calm mind. This means we rely and depend on Christ sacrifice to provide us with the peace He gave us. When we trust God to watch over us we can keep our focus on Him and not on what we think will happen. Assuming what will happen is just an assumption it is not a fact.

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8) Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.” Meditate equals think on these things.

I love this scripture because it reminds us to think on things that are good, and of a good report when the anxious negative thoughts abound, refuse them in Jesus’ name and replace them with the word of God and anything good, pure, and lovely. We can choose our thoughts!

Deep breathing slowly in and out slowly helps to release the toxins of stress, anxiety and fear which can make our bodies sore and tired. Understanding and recognizing the symptoms of stress, anxiety, and fear you experience helps to control your thoughts and emotions. Being aware of these helps to calm ourselves down quicker. Dr. Daniel G. Amen wrote in is book ‘Healing Anxiety and Depression’ “Whenever you feel anxious, mad, or tense, take a deep breath, hold it for four to five seconds, then slowly blow it out (take about six to eight seconds to blow out).” He says, “do this about ten times.” I find this helpful for me when I am also frustrated over a situation it helps calm me down and refocus my thoughts.

Dr. Carolyn Leaf in her book ‘Who Switched off my Brain’ said “A thought may seem harmless, but if it becomes toxic, even just a thought can become physically, emotionally, or spiritually dangerous. Thoughts are measurable and occupy mental ‘real estate.’ Thoughts are active; they grow and change. Thoughts influence every decision, word, actions and physical reaction we make.” You can refuse negative, unhealthy thoughts sometimes we have to say No I’m not thinking that!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5) casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

This scripture shows that we can take authority in Christ over our thoughts. Truly the battle is won or lost in our minds. We have the choice to think what we want don’t accept every thought that comes to your mind. Strongholds are built in our mind one thought (unchecked) at a time. Be aware of what you are thinking do not give the anxious negative thoughts free rein in your mind because it will build a stronghold in the mind.

Stronghold thinking patterns can produce stress, fear and anxiety also. Once again if you have excessive and all consuming anxiety, it is time to seek professional help. You are valuable to God there is no shame in getting professional help.

Some proactive steps to take: Exercise is a helpful tool to reduce stress, and it is healthy for us along with eating healthy foods. Processed foods poison our bodies system so when you can avoid processed foods. We use Juice Plus and vitamins to help our body’s immune system. Drink water it’s not my favorite but it is essential for our bodies. Finding time to get alone with God and pray and meditate on the word will also help reduce stress, anxiety etc.

I thank God that He is with us and has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Jesus’ sacrifice paid the price for our salvation and in that is healing, deliverance, joy and peace.

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“How to know if you’re walking in the Spirit? Conclusion:”

For the last seven weeks I have been writing on ‘How to know if you’re walking in the Spirit.’ I wrote on the fruit being produced by the Spirit in our lives. This is one way to know if you are growing in your walk with the Lord and if you are in the spirit or not. It is a practical application that is so simple that one could almost forget as human beings we like to complicate things to make them sound better.

This post is to encourage those who want to be led by the Holy Spirit to continue to grow in your walk with the Lord and to help recognize His leadings. I know that when the Holy Spirit leads us according to the Bible, He will not force you to obey. God always gives us a choice. Being led by the Spirit is in partnership with His leading. Galatians 5:16-18 “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17) For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18) but if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”

To me that sums it up Spirit or flesh were either in one or the other. Over the years mankind tried to make walking in the Spirit more about the nine gifts of the Spirit which these are good but come from the Spirit they are not the proof of you continuing to walk in the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is the proof of you being led by the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Verse 25 “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

To end this series the next two is a fruit of gentleness and self-control. Sometimes it requires a lot of self-control to stay in gentleness especially when dealing with contentious people. Being gentle means, you’re not being harsh or hard. “Gentleness means the quality of kind, tender, or mild-mannered.” Since I’m more Type-a I tend to sound harder than I mean to be. I see things in black and white, right and wrong. So, I can sound harsher to others than it is meant. God has been working on me through the years and will continue to work on me so that I do not sound harsh. He’s seasoned me by His Spirit to think through responses so that it sounds gentler. It is still truths but with love. I would never intentionally hurt someone, so I am using my own life to help us understand that at times we need seasoning to bring out of us the un-Christlikeness that is flesh.

Self-control is keeping oneself in check and not losing control in a situation. Self-control “the ability to control oneself, in particular ones’ emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations.” Being led by the Spirit produces this in our lives. But we have a choice in every situation how we will respond and what choice we want to make in our lives. Battling the flesh is a daily fight. Our flesh does not like to submit to the Spirit but when you’re wanting to be led by the Spirit you learn to choose His way and surrender that flesh to be crucified so that God gets the glory. By doing so you will begin to see the fruit come forth from your life.

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How to know if you are walking in the Spirit Part 7

Faithfulness

Throughout our walk with God, we meet many opportunities to walk in love. Walking in the Spirit is described in Galatians and so is walking in the flesh. In this series we have been looking at each word of the fruit of the Spirit so we can apply this word to our lives. We need to know by God’s word what walking in the Spirit looks like. Sometimes describing what the flesh looks like helps us to recognize when we are not in the Spirit.

This passage describes the flesh/sinful nature Galatians 5:19-21 NLT “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”

This week’s post is on the fruit of faithfulness. Faithfulness is not just an action it is also a disposition. It is a Christlike nature to be faithful. When we walk in the Spirit we are walking in Galatians 5:22-23 “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness 23gentleness, and self- control. There is no law against these.”

To be faithful means to me to be consistent, reliable and trustworthy. A Dictionary says, “steadfast in affection or allegiance.” It also means to honor your word. In our day faithfulness has been replaced with ‘whatever feels good for you.’ That is not Jesus’ way. He did what the Father wanted, He said “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me, nevertheless not My will. But Yours, be done.” That is faithfulness.

I guess we can ask ourselves some questions to see where we are at in our walk with Christ. Do I get jealous if someone else is chosen over me? Do I honor my word? Am I able to keep my commitments? Do I follow the leading of the Holy Spirit when I don’t like what is happening?

Galatians 5:24-26 NLT “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”

First thing in applying faithfulness is to prayerfully think it through before you commit to something. Do not just say yes then change your mind when something better comes up.

Second thing in applying faithfulness is to never give yourself permission to back out on a commitment unless it’s for sickness or death.

Third thing in applying faithfulness is allow the Holy Spirit to show you any areas that you haven’t been faithful in and repent for it and surrender to His leading in the next opportunity to commit and do.

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How to know if you are walking in the Spirit Part 6

On a practical term as we surrender our life to Christ the word of God tells us; God is working in us to make us Christlike. We shouldn’t compare our selves to others but we can look at our Lord Jesus and measure our fruit by His life.

There are nine fruit of the Spirit that we should be growing in when you are a child of God they are found in Galatians 5:22-23 NLT “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. There is no law against these things.”

Goodness is the topic for today. What do you think of when you hear that word? The word goodness means according to the dictionary “the state or quality of being good, moral excellence, virtue, kindness, generosity” In Galatians according to Vines Expository Dictionary “goodness means a moral quality,” When we are walking in the Spirit, we are producing this kind of fruit. As a born again believer in Jesus moral excellence is essential.

Virtue and moral excellence are important because that means you are honest and sincere. It also is seen in a holy lifestyle. I know the day and age we live in believes differently but when you are a child of God living according to the truth which is the Word of God then you know holiness is the way we live. A purity of heart, mind and body is God’s way.

Jesus told us in Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.” These are powerful words by Jesus, He’s letting us know many will do a lot of things that look spiritual in His name but He didn’t know them. His character has to be seen that’s the fruit we are to look for.

So ask your self is what you do to be seen or to glorify Jesus? Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart to make sure your motives are pure. It’s not what we do it’s the why behind what we do that makes the motive pure or not.

Since goodness is a moral quality, we need a heart check on our motives. Jesus told us out of the heart the mouth speaks. We can look at words that we say and see what fruit it’s producing. Are you speaking life or death in situations. Are you blessing or cursing someone. Again, it is a heart issue. Jesus said they will know we are his disciples by how we love one another.

If you’re not sure of your heart which our hearts can deceive us, we begin to think we are spiritual when in reality we can become critical, judgmental and at times condemning of our brothers and sisters. Look for the fruit of the Spirit in your own life first. Before you try to be a fruit inspector of others.

Surrender to the Holy Spirit working in your life. He will produce the fruit as you surrender in situations. A purity of heart, mind and body is God’s way and that is goodness.

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How to recognize toxic positivity? by Laura Herrera

unrecognizable woman covered with plastic bag

I went through two debilitating chronic diseases for 11 years. During this time there were 17 trips to the ER. I had many failed treatments, went through 10 doctors, had multiple failed surgeries and spent thousands of dollars to get help. I finally found a specialist in New York, states away who rooted out the diseases in two surgeries. As you can imagine I went through an awfully long journey. During this I was often met with hurtful toxic positivity from people. At times, my situation was compared to others because no one could understand what I was going through and thought that comparing stories would help me. I could go on and on with the hurtful phrases I received. Unfortunately, most of them were from well-meaning but misguided Christians. I did not know how to stand up for myself, I felt alone and voiceless. There were many times I went to the bathroom to cry after someone said something hurtful. I would turn inwards and would battle hope. Toxic positivity hurt my relationships with people and with God. I found it hard to open up to others and as a defense mechanism. I in turn carried not only the weight of physical pain, but also emotional pain as well. I now see how that spilled over into my relationship with God as well. I didn’t feel that I could open up to Him for a very long time. I didn’t feel as though what I was going through mattered to Him.

As Christians we are to build each other up and not tear each other down.

Ephesians 4:2 “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,“

This article is to build you up so that you can recognize toxic positivity.

You may have used toxic positivity and may not realize it. You might use it towards yourself and may not realize it either. This article is to help you recognize the pattern from others or from yourself.

Now someone doesn’t have to only go through something medical to be on the receiving end of toxic positivity. In our everyday lives we go through pain, suffering or loss. When met with hurtful phrases of any kind no matter what we are going through- it can cause even further pain or damage in our lives.

What is toxic positivity:

Toxic positivity is shaming in disguise. It covers and stifles the vulnerability one shares with another or with themselves and in turn, can cause one to believe that their needs and what they are going through are not worthy to be heard or helped in any manner. It also dispels hope.

Have you ever experienced a time when you’ve opened up to someone about something personal that you are going through only to be met with hurtful words? Such as- Well, at least you do not have it as bad as…. It could be worse…. It will all be fine… Don’t worry about it…. Always look on the bright side… You’ll get over it… Stay positive…. Everything happens for a reason…

One of my most disliked common expression is, “It could be worse.” Who decides on what makes up ‘as the worst suffering or loss as the worst possible situation? It’s a never-ending ladder to reach the top of who earns the top spot in the worst possible situation. Whatever we are going through we all have needs concerning our situations.

The damaging power it has:

Again, toxic positivity is shaming in disguise. Shame makes us look inward and think what is wrong with me. Shame also screams I am not worthy. It says, no one really cares.

We don’t have to let someone say, “You are not good enough.” – We don’t have to let others say what we are going through is not good enough to be heard or helped. Nor should we be compared to what someone else is going through. This can make us feel voiceless and hopeless.

When we are either met with toxic positivity from others or given towards ourselves, we can end up battling in our minds for the right to be heard by people and by God. Do I have the right to be heard? Is my pain big enough to be empathized with by others and by God? Do I have the right to be helped?

When we stifle our own needs and think towards ourselves, “I should just be positive” we harm ourselves. What if we really needed time to process and heal through something emotionally and decided not to since we didn’t allow ourselves to check-in with ourselves? What if we really needed to see a doctor, but we kept telling ourselves, “I’m ok, it’ll get better.”? Can you see, how damage can be done in both scenarios?

Words have power:

There’s life and death in the power of the tongue.

Proverbs 18:21 NIV “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Again, we have the power to uplift or tear one another down and ourselves.

Ask yourself these questions:

When in my life did I seek help only to find out that what I was going through was devalued by another? How many times have I not spoken up when I was going through something or needed help based on past encounters in life? How has this spilled into my relationship with people in general or with God? Do I ever feel at times what I’m going through shouldn’t be brought up to God because others are going through something worse?

If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, you have faced toxic positivity. Don’t be discouraged, this is the first step to healing from the wounds and effects of it. This week allow yourself to grieve or ponder on how this has made you feel. Journaling is a great idea to pour out any lingering wounds.

I leave you with this prayer until next week’s article on learning what healthy positivity is and how to stand up for yourself. You’ll also learn how to grow in your love for yourself and in your intimacy with God.

Dear God,

Thank you for being with your precious one. Thank you for opening their eyes that toxic positivity has affected their lives. You God can heal these broken hearts and wounds. May you comfort them today in your unfathomable love as they bring any past hurts and pains. May you shed on them grace, comfort, and joy. Thank you for giving them wisdom, guidance and peace. I ask this in Jesus Name. Amen.

Bio- Laura Herrera

Going through two chronic debilitating diseases for 11 years, being in and out of hospitals and going through multiple doctors and surgeries- Laura now advocates passionately and bridges the gap for those going through the same diseases as she did. Coming from a place of understanding on how chronic diseases can affect all aspects of life; not just including others health, but also their mental wellbeing, finances, family life and relationships in general- she is also passionate about helping those going through any chronic disease. Her articles can be seen on: https://lauraherreratopics.com/

Unhealthy, Toxic or Aggressive People or Healthy, Non-Toxic or Assertive People

When Compassion isn’t Compassion

What is The Difference Between Positivity and Trusting God.

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How to Know if You’re Walking in the Spirit Part 5

Kindness

This week we are looking at the fruit of kindness. What is kindness? How does it look, and can a person be kind without sincerity? As I have been writing this series, I’m asking the Holy Spirit to search me for where I am in walking in the Spirit. We need a good heart check regularly. I recommend you do the same.

The word kindness means “In ancient Greek It means goodness, honesty, goodness of heart, kindness.” “Kindness is selfless, compassionate and merciful.” Websters Dictionary for similar words of kindness: “are compassion, sympathy, generosity, heart, mercy, kindliness, pity, kindhearted.“

Now that we know what kindness means we can see by these definitions how it should look and feel. I think of times when I have experienced kindness from those who truly had heartfelt genuine kindness and I was left feeling a warmth of being cared for. But I have also experienced an act of kindness that was not genuine, and it left me feeling confused thinking, why bother. As with everything we need to look at the results/fruit to decide where it’s really at.

Since we are talking about the fruit of the Spirit let’s look at the Scripture in Galatians 5:22-23 NLT “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. There is no law against these things.”

I love that the Holy Spirit is working in us producing this kind of fruit. We do have a role in it, since we have a free will, we can override the Spirit and walk in the flesh, but the result makes our situations worse not better. I would prefer my situations to go better than worse. Am I successful every time no but as you walk in the Spirit you learn to listen before you speak, wait before you act. That is a key to walking in the Spirit. James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”

In Galatians it tells us what the fruit of flesh looks like. Galatians NLT 5: 16 “So I say. Let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” Galatians NLT 5:19 “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20) idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, division, 21) envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”

As we look at the list think of the description of each one and as your living your life ask the Holy Spirit when you are walking according to your flesh to help you crucify it. We will always have a choice your free will is given to you by God but he won’t choose for you.

As we think of the word kindness, we can begin to choose to walk in kindness to one another and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit by doing kindness. I say do because kindness is an action coming from a sincere heartfelt motivation. These words show us kindness in action compassion, sympathy, generosity, heart, mercy, kindliness, pity, kindhearted each one of these words relay a sincerity towards others.

What type of fruit are you producing? Walking in the Spirit produces good fruit and kindness is one of them. Purpose in your heart today to allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart to work on this area in your life.

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How to know if you are walking in the Spirit Part 4

Patience

The way to know whether you or someone else is walking in the Spirit is by the fruit it produces. This week we are looking at the fruit and word ‘patience.’ This word is found in Galatians 5:22-23 “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” It is interesting to me that this is mentioned in the bible in many different passages, and with the use of another word such as ‘waiting on God.’

Waiting on God takes patience, I have heard it said don’t ask for patience because then you’ll have to go through trails. That is not what the word says. It tells us that we must add to our faith and that as we have patience we will become mature. If we have no trials, how do you know if we are growing in patience?

James 1: 2-4 “Brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

What does the word patience mean? It means “The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” Cambridge Dictionary “The ability to wait or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.”

Well now that we know exactly what patience looks like, how do we apply patience in situations? I personally think we need to step back in our thinking when a situation is out of our control and speak truths to yourself. I speak the word of God to myself to remind myself God is in control. My trust is not in the situation it is in Almighty God who works on my behalf. I trust my life to my Lord and Savior. It is important to step back emotionally so that we can hear clearly and make wise decisions. I do this by speaking truths to myself concerning whatever situation it is.

On Thursday, a friend and I were in a car accident. I was not driving she was cut off in the roundabout and had to apply her breaks it was icy and the person behind us could not stop. This young girl was shaken as we too, but we were gracious and patient with her. Being older and having experienced an accident before we managed to bring comfort with our words and actions. We had to wait for the police and wait through insurance calls. With all of that going on it was important for us to have patience. Being calm in stressful situations brings peace to the situation.

My friend’s car unfortunately was damaged and now she will have to wait for it to be repaired. I was looking sideways talking to her when we were cut off and then hit so I have a mild whiplash, so I have a waiting also as I heal. All of that is just one experience of patience in action.

As we go through life, we all have different opportunities to develop and walk out patience. If you struggle with patience know that when you are His child, He is always working on conforming you into Christlikeness and we know Jesus walked in patience. Jesus endured opposition, difficulties and pressure on all sides such as family, religious and cultural pressure. Plus, He was tortured, spit upon and carried the sins of the world without complaint. The Bible says He was tempted in all areas but sinned not.

Since patience is a part of the fruit of the Spirit you will know then by that fruit if you are walking and being led by the Spirit. This aspect is a practical way in understanding the importance of our actions, attitudes and words. What we do and say truly does affect those around us and this is a byproduct of either our flesh or the Spirit.

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How to know if you are walking in the Spirit part 3

In the book of James, it tells us what the wisdom of God looks like in our lives. James 3:17-18 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” This passage in scripture lets us know God’s wisdom has good fruits.

So, as we look at the third fruit of walking in the Spirit, we see peace. It is essential to our walk with and in God. This is how you know if you are walking in the Spirit of the Kingdom of God. Romans 14:17 “The Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking but righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Are you walking in peace with God, yourself and others? That question holds a key to where you heart is at.

Peace is not the absence of problems; peace is an inner calmness that is produced by the Spirit of God because we are trusting the Lord for our life, He supplies what we need. We trust the Lord for the wisdom, and direction in situations. For example, when WordPress updated to 6.0 in November my site crashed. Bluehost helped get it on line but I didn’t know that those who subscribed where not getting the emails. I found out around Christmas. A friend and I looked at it and I talked with Bluehost twice for a lengthy period. She was on the phone for the second conversation. But with no solution. After we were done talking to the representative on the phone, I started to hum a tune. She started to laugh and said your humming! I forget her exact words, but I still had peace and joy. These were frustrating conversations on the phone the rep could not understand the problem and was not communicating well. So, there was no solution at that time. I had peace that God would supply the solution. I said a prayer and the next day God put a person to ask on my heart. God connected me through the friend with ‘Living Development.’ Maurrie Livingston who is a web designer was so helpful. He worked through this past weekend to fix the problem and it was affordable.

It is possible to go through things with peace. One of my favorite scriptures is found in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Keeping your mind in peace is done through trusting in God. No matter what we go through God goes with us, so we can trust He is bringing you through.

Another passage of scripture teaches us how to take captive thoughts that are not God or peaceable. We do not have to accept every thought we think. Sometimes there not you or God it is the enemy trying steal your peace and joy. We negate these thoughts through the word of God. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” Stronghold thinking is negative statements believed about yourself or others that are repetitious. As a child of God, we have the authority in Christ to overcome stronghold thinking. Replace those thoughts with the Word of God. This produces peace in our minds and hearts.

The flesh is in opposition with the spirit. Galatians 5:19-21 NLT “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20) idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21) envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” When you are a child of God and you follow your own agenda you will manifest hostility, quarreling, outburst of anger etc. but when you follow the Holy spirit you will walk in peace, joy and righteousness that is the Kingdom of God.

The Bible tells us to be angry and sin not, it also tells us to not let the sun go down on our wrath. So, in plain wording do not stay angry. Anger is a secondary emotion which means underneath the anger is either fear, hurt, frustration… Deal with that and let the anger go if we don’t, we won’t walk in the Spirit.

Peace with God, oneself and others is doable by walking in the Spirit. Jesus purchased peace with God for us but to stay in peace takes walking in the Spirit, peace is a fruit of the Spirit of God. Put value on your peace.

Walking in the Spirit is not complicated because God tells us in His word how to recognize what is of the Holy Spirit and what is not. Galatians 5:22-23 “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” The word of God is clear on what fruit we will be producing when we are in led by His Spirit.
In the book of James, it tells us what the wisdom of God looks like in our lives. James 3:17-18 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” This passage in scripture lets us know God’s wisdom has good fruits.
So, as we look at the third fruit of walking in the Spirit, we see peace. It is essential to our walk with and in God. This is how you know if you are walking in the Spirit of the Kingdom of God. Romans 14:17 “The Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking but righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Are you walking in peace with God, yourself and others? That question holds a key to where you heart is at.
Peace is not the absence of problems; peace is an inner calmness that is produced by the Spirit of God because we are trusting the Lord for our life, He supplies what we need. We trust the Lord for the wisdom, and direction in situations. For example, when WordPress updated to 6.0 in November my site crashed. Bluehost helped get it online, but I didn’t know that those who subscribed where not getting the emails. I found out around Christmas. A friend and I looked at it and I talked with Bluehost twice for a lengthy period. She was on the phone for the second conversation. But with no solution. After we were done talking to the representative on the phone, I started to hum a tune. She started to laugh and said your humming! I forget her exact words, but I still had peace and joy. These were frustrating conversations on the phone the rep could not understand the problem and was not communicating well. So, there was no solution at that time. I had peace that God would supply the solution. I said a prayer and the next day God put a person to ask on my heart. God connected me through the friend with ‘Living Development.’ Maurrie Livingston who is a web designer was so helpful. He worked through this past weekend to fix the problem and it was affordable.
It is possible to go through things with peace. One of my favorite scriptures is found in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Keeping your mind in peace is done through trusting in God. No matter what we go through God goes with us, so we can trust He is bringing you through.
Another passage of scripture teaches us how to take captive thoughts that are not God or peaceable. We do not have to accept every thought we think. Sometimes there not you or God it is the enemy trying steal your peace and joy. We negate these thoughts through the word of God. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” Stronghold thinking is negative statements believed about yourself or others that are repetitious. As a child of God, we have the authority in Christ to overcome stronghold thinking. Replace those thoughts with the Word of God. This produces peace in our minds and hearts.
The flesh is in opposition with the spirit. Galatians 5:19-21 NLT “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20) idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21) envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” When you are a child of God and you follow your own agenda you will manifest hostility, quarreling, outburst of anger etc. but when you follow the Holy spirit you will walk in peace, joy and righteousness that is the Kingdom of God.
The Bible tells us to be angry and sin not, it also tells us to not let the sun go down on our wrath. So, in plain wording do not stay angry. Anger is a secondary emotion which means underneath the anger is either fear, hurt, frustration… Deal with that and let the anger go if we don’t, we won’t walk in the Spirit.
Peace with God, oneself and others is doable by walking in the Spirit. Jesus purchased peace with God for us but to stay in peace takes walking in the Spirit, peace is a fruit of the Spirit of God. Put value on your peace.

Walk in peace… Three ways to keep your peace…

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Three Things Required To Be An Overcomer

OVERCOMER

I was thinking today of what it takes to overcome obstacles in our lives, to achieve our goals and carry out our dreams.

For the last five months I have been studying for a large test. On Saturday 21^stI passed the test. Praise God! What is success to you? What is the cost of success and what motivates you to carry out your goals? These are a few of the questions we will look at along with the three things needed to be an overcomer.

To overcome something there must be a fight to push on. What motivates you to push on in life? For me it is my faith in God. He gives me the grace to go on. What motivates a person to carry out their goals I believe is perseverance, faithfulness and a steadfast spirit.

When you want to finish a task what is your mindset? We can make choices to discipline ourselves in whatever we are working for. The test I passed took discipline to study, it took time to read, study, memorize and reread, study and memorize. I had to change my routine so that I could prioritize my time and I put studying first.

I had to overcome my feelings on the days I did not feel like studying I did it anyways, I chose to study when I could have been out with friends etc. My husband has been doing The Fight Club he has been memorizing scripture and doing all the different requirements to do the goals. It is ten weeks of a lot of different requirements, and he is in the 10^th week. I am proud of him for continuing and he will finish Sunday!

The first thing to be an overcomer you must have perseverance. Perseverance is “doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.” How we view our difficulties can help us or hinder us. I believe choosing to speak the truth to yourself that you can finish, the difficulty will come to an end, and you will succeed is essential to developing perseverance. I have learned through my disability that if I dwell on the pain or recount the hardship in my thoughts it is not productive for me it only pulls me down in my thoughts.

The second thing to be an overcomer you must have faithfulness. Faithfulness is “loyal, adhering firmly to a person or course.” Being faithful to your goal is essential. Being faithful in all situations produces maturity. When we are faithful it will come out in many different areas through our relationships, work, ministry etc. Being faithful to your word, is most important in developing faithfulness. It is an excellent character trait to develop. When you honor your word your being faithful to your own self and others. You follow through even when it hurts. Which means when it is inconvenient, or your feelings do not want to, with faithfulness you do what is needed to honor your word to complete the task.

The third thing to be an overcomer we need steadfastness. Steadfastness is “fixed or unchanging, steady” Being steadfast you stay fixed in your goal or plan. You do not change the plan when it is tough you push through and finish. For steadfastness to develop in your character one must keep the goal as the focus. The word steadfast means “resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.” Being loyal to your dream, goals or vision is so important to finish the course.

Those who overcome the obstacles, setbacks or delays will learn to develop patience. There is always a choice in life do we keep going or quit? Do we push through or let go? You must choose. Your will needs to be activated to choose wisely. Speak the truth to yourself you can finish what ever it is your facing.

We can ask the Holy Spirit for help every day. We can ask for the grace to finish the tasks and goals. Allow Him to develop in you the perseverance, faithfulness, and steadfastness and become an overcomer.

How to stand up for yourself when facing toxic positivity. by Laura Herrera

Last week in the “How to recognize toxic positivity” article, we learned how it affects our relationships with others and with ourselves. Also, how it spills into our relationship with God. This week we are learning what healthy positivity is and how to stand up for ourselves. How we can grow in our love for ourselves and in our intimacy with God.

As a recap, toxic positivity is shaming in disguise. It covers and stifles the vulnerability one shares with another or with themselves. In turn, it can cause one to believe that their needs and what they are going through are not worthy to be heard or helped in any manner. It also dispels hope.

A few common toxic phrases we learned were: Well, at least you do not have it as bad as…. It could be worse…. It will all be fine… Don’t worry about it…. Always look on the bright side… You’ll get over it… Stay positive…. Everything happens for a reason…

How to stand up for yourself and guard your heart:

If we open up to someone and the way, they respond is affecting us – we can either respectfully correct them or guard our heart.

What is guarding your heart? One way we guard our heart is speaking the truth to ourselves.

Affirm ourselves that what we are going through matters and unfortunately, they were not an emotionally safe person to confide in. Believe and trust God someone else will be a safe place. Affirming ourselves is an expression of showing love towards ourselves.

If we choose to speak up, we can say something like, “I know it was meant well, but it makes me feel as if what I’m going through doesn’t matter. Right now, I need support. Support for me right now means… (Share what needs you have). At the very least, we may just want a hug at that moment.

Food for thought: Many of us are afraid of confrontation. However, it is in the context of healthy confrontation that relationships can grow and flourish. If we do not speak up, the other person doesn’t know what we are feeling, and they do not have the opportunity to listen and make a positive change.

If it is us who are speaking toxic phrases over ourselves, we no longer must push our needs down. It is time to embrace ourselves with loving kindness.

Healthy positivity statements:

“I will take a step back and look for what I can be grateful for, but I will not diminish the needs that I have at this moment.”

What are my needs in this situation? Whether it be emotional, spiritual, or financial.

I am a child of God and He cares for me. I am not going through this alone. He cares for me because I’m His child.

Healthy positivity supplies hope:

Romans 8:28 NIV “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good to those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.”

This is the exact opposite of what some say with toxic phrases such as: “God only gives us what we can handle.” And “Everything happens for a reason.” (These are not even scriptural.)

God is not saying He put this on us. He also is not saying He caused this to happen to us, but He will be there with us through this. And He is working through this.

Isaiah 43: 1-3 NIV “But now, this is what the LORD says— He who created you, Jacob, He who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;”

Romans 8:28 was key for me when I was fighting for 11 years to be heard by doctors. Thankfully, tenacity got me through it. It brought me through to keep seeking help. I was determined to find someone who could help me fight the diseases I was going through.

I knew no matter what, God could turn what I was going through and work something out for good. Years later after the diseases have been rooted out and I’ve healed emotionally, I now write for others going through chronic diseases.

Our relationship with God: God created us for a relationship with him, and more than anything He cares for every one of us. His word says,

Matthew 6:26 NIV “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” 1 Peter 5:7 NIV “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

He’s telling you. He is not addressing another person. He is personally speaking to you.

Jesus is the perfect reflection of what care and comfort are. He values every one of us the same. We will not find a scripture where He compares what one person is going through with another. We will not find Him using any toxic positivity.

If He cares about each one of us and what we are going through, shouldn’t we as individuals follow suit and do the same for others and ourselves?

Are you someone who has believed the lie that I once did- “Am I not worthy of God’s care and affection?” Have you believed the lie, “He won’t hear my cries, so why even bother?”

If so, let today be the first day that you turn a corner and dwell on the truth. The truth is that He does care. We can go to Him and pour out our heart, pain, loss, fears, and frustrations- He will listen. When we are a child of God, He hears every word we speak.

Where many might have failed us and will fail us, we can take heart that what we are going through does matter to God. It matters greatly. Enter His presence without fear. He will not turn us down and He will not compare our situation to others. Let Him love on you and comfort you.

Psalm 34:18 NIV “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Now that I’m on a new journey of health and have received mental health coaching: I have been able to choose to either stand up for myself with the other people or guard my heart while affirming myself. I’ve been able find out who in my life are the real supporters that I can turn to and who are not. My relationship with God has blossomed. I confide in Him like never before. When I cry out to Him, I know I will be met with the sincerest comfort, love, and care. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t gone through other hurts or turmoil. On the contrary, I’ve been through a lot in the last few years in all kinds of areas of my life. However, I have now found peace and grace in asking myself, “What are my needs at this moment and what can I be grateful for?” I then have been able to turn to God for comfort, love, and support.

I want to leave you with this comforter analogy: When I think of Him comforting me in my troubles, I think of His embrace as an actual comforter. A comforter supplies warmth and covering to a cold body. Even though it can supply these things, it only does so when we reach out for it. Let Him comfort you. Reach out to Him for the comfort you need. Pour out your heart and He will be there wrapping His love and care on you.

I pray as you learn how to stand up for yourself and love yourself, that your relationships blossom. I pray your relationship with God grows like never before.

At every moment, you matter and whatever you are going through matters to God. How to recognize toxic positivity? by Laura Herrera

What is The Difference Between Positivity and Trusting God.

Three different Ways to Deal with Shame…